June 2014: Thread 6! The 2nd trimester and Christmas shenanigans!

[GillyBillyWilly]

Boom!

My job list was optimistic. After a short shopping trip to pick up some essentials and some gift wrapping I feel totally zonked out. Mince pies, cleaning and packing will have to wait for tomorrow, im on the sofa catching up with Homeland. This is one high maintenance baby!!!

bee hope your son recovers quickly

So exciting to see a September antenatal thread has started already.

Regarding health visitors, with DD1 I had a male HV. I'll admit that initially I was a bit uncertain what that would be like, but he was absolutely fantastic. DD took over 3 weeks to get back to her birth weight and he was so relaxed about it and reassuring regarding continuing to BF. There was never any mention about 'topping up' with FF. And sure enough she gradually gained and gained. He was very calm, knowledgeable and logical in his approach to everything.
Sadly we moved away from that area and DD2s health visitor was much more 'hand holdly' but didn't really actually dispense any practical advice.

Hope everyone is managing with the pre-Christmas chaos! Feel really sorry for the July club as one month ago I wasn't worth a button.

My maternity jeans have finally arrived

Agree gru it was obviously mostly luck but I am so pleased to have told everyone and be feeling a tiny bit better at Christmas!

Hi all

Panic and Lady it must be SO strange to have to wave children off - it can't be easy.

I also have a snoring DH and wear ear plugs, to which I am addicted.

DS also made an incredible amount of noise as a newborn, I couldn't believe it. It was like having a little snuffling woodland animal in the corner. I can remember hardly ever getting any sleep between DH, DS and Bf. When he got a bit bigger I went back to wearing ear plugs as I could hear him when he woke up no problem!

Feeling very tired and sick today. Yesterday I felt fine and got tons done, but must have overdone it.

Hackney, I read bf as boyfriend first time and started to wonder about your sleeping arrangements (!) Oops!

Bee sorry to hear about your toddler-hope he will recover quickly.How old he is?

SleepyNess are you somewhere in north Scotland quick assumption from your nickname ? If so pop in,I've got 4 boxes of sauerkraut stew in the freezer,with meat,tomatoes,juniper,bay leaves, red wine,sausage and goodness knows what else.

Stacks your midwife is talking shite rubbish.You're passed the first trimester when most of the miscarriages happen,also the ones caused by under/over active thyroid but it doesn't mean you might not have any complications. Don't let her fob you off by being dismissive,you're within your right to ask for a second opinion and from somebody more qualified like GP not a mw.Insist,demand,insist,demand.Get an appointment with GP and say that you're concerned as you're already taking thyroxine.At the end of the day it's your baby not the midwife's.

I could write a book about the first hv,the one who told me to stop bf DS.Apparently I shouldn't put him on one breast for longer than 45 minutes and his latch was also wrong.She tried to show me the "proper" bf position but DS thought better of it and was working his legs and arms like windmills trying to get to BOOB!

Right folks,off to bed now,have to clean the house a bit tomorrow and have to visit my not delightful FIL on Monday.Have a nice weekend!

I used to have insomnia on a regular basis and my DP snores so loudly that we had guests staying downstairs once that could hear him with the door closed (I think he thought I was making it up till then )

I have solved both problems by listening to audio books at night - gets me off to sleep and drowns out the snoring!

Hackney - I do that - think I get this and that done and then feel rubbish the next day. I must learn to pace myself! Hope you feel better soon.

Thanks all - Baldhedgehog he's 18 months old but looks so little & young now he's so ill. He's been waking every 10/20 minutes moaning / sobbing doing his strange barking cough & then takes about 20/30 mins to get to sleep. We've been taking turns but I think it's going to be a long night!

Please no one kick yourself if bf isn't for you or you find it too hard (my god I cried a lot the 1st few weeks - it just hurt so much I dreaded even feeding him god knows how I stuck it out) - but seeing my little one sick reminds me of bf. I managed 6 months with him, all the others his age had sniffles & bugs here & there & I never thought anything of it until he had his 1st EVER cold 1 week after I stopped bf! It helps motivate me to try again with no 2.

Clutter :) that made me laugh.

Bumble I don't think your little one would have caught a cold just because you finished breast feeding- it would have been bad luck surely. You did brilliantly doing six months!

I remember the shock of breast feeding. I was not prepared for how time consuming it is, how often you have to do it, and how hard it was to get going. I really felt that was one piece of advice/warning I could have done with. It was very painful in the early days. I persevered through raw nipples and then thrush, oh it was awful. I occasionally topped him up with formula when he wasn't sleeping well at night as he would get very hungry and late at night my supply would really dwindle. I don't have any strong anti formula feelings so for me that wasn't a problem, but I know some people really struggle with the idea of giving formula. In the end DS self weaned at 7 months, and I didn't miss bf-ing at all I have to say.

I plan to do the same with number two, but if I'm madly busy running around with my very active DS and don't have time to sit down for lengthy BF sessions, then I'll probably be a bit more relaxed about giving bottles.

Thanks red we have a load of people coming over for Xmas brunch tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be feeling better. Speaking of which, I need to get off MN and get to bed!

Hope you're feeling better today, Hackney! I love the little tips you pick up on here, like you saying that overdoing it one day could make you feel off-colour the next day. The morning sickness has passed but I do feel a little nauseated sometimes. I wonder if it could be overdoing it some days.

You've all got me a bit worried about what my HV will be like. I'm not the most assertive person but hopefully standing up for what I think is best for bubba will make me stronger.

poet you can luckily avoid HV after the first few weeks. Most are clueless about breastfeeding. My dd had severe reflux but my HV told me to do baby massage. My GP told me that babies cry and don't sleep and her teenagers are worse. I think the main thing to know is they can be useless.

I really enjoyed breastfeeding in contrast. It is hard. And in the beginning it hurt so much my toes would curl but after a few weeks I found it so convenient. The nights were hard as it was always me, every 3 hours, for 9 months, but 5 years later I realise it was a very short time and means dh has done most of the night wakings since I am actually really looking forward to it this time and hope this one takes to it.

Thanks Poet. I do find I get nausea when I'm tired ( or very hungry).

Despite my complaints I have very fond memories of breast feeding. During the early days of loooong night feeds I managed to read Wolf Hall in its entirety! Mind you, I re-read it last summer and didn't really remember any of it, it was like reading it for the first time. ;)

bumble hope your night wasn't too wretched and that your LO recovers in time for Xmas.

I don't know Hackney - his NCT group had permanent sniffles colds etc & the playgroups were the same & he never had a thing despite lots of contact with cold filled babies. Once I'd stopped bf he immediately joined the permanently snotty club & hasn't left since.

I agree I will stress less about bf with no 2. I think it's partly hard because only we can do it so it's a lot of pressure & ppl feel they can't top or give up without feeling a failure. At medical courses they teach the 'magic 7 days' - basically if you do 7 days of bf you have succeeded in the vast majority of most important benefits (not that there aren't more later). I know so many who gave up at a few weeks in who dismiss theirselves as failures when actually they've done a lot. One person I knew needed a blood transfusion & was too weak to feed after labour & still feels a failure now. Such a lot of pressure we put on ourselves with these little ones!

I'm just back from A&E. We've been up with the 18 month literally all night & by 6.00 he was gasping a lot for breath so took him in. Luckily we weren't there too long, he's had some drugs, is already much better & we have just got home. Absolutely shattered!!

The day I was going to give up bf a health visitor introduced me to nipple shields. She said they're not allowed to recommend them as they can interfere with supply but as I was about to give up they were worth a go. I could not believe they could make what was usually absolute agony (my nipples were full of blood blisters even though he had a good latch) but with the shields the pain was gone. From that point I never fed without them again - they kept suggesting I try but no chance - mentally I couldn't bring myself to remove them & they didn't affect my supply so I saw no need. I will try without them this time but I will definitely already have them purchased & ready just in case!!

Oh Bee hope you'll manage to get at least power nap today. Your poor DS,good that you went to a&e and they give me something. There must be something in the air as your DS is another child that i hear has croup.

My DS is the same age as yours-18 months.

I have to go and feed him right now si will try to write something later.Have a good day everybody

Gave him something, bloody phone!

Bee - sorry you had such a terrible night but glad things are looking up. I BF last time and DS often had a cold/snotty thing going on (he's the same now at 6). I do want to BF again - not just for the health benefits but because once I got going with it (and it did take a while) it was so much easier. No sterilising, no stuff to take with me - just have boobs will travel. I just am not sure how its going to fit in with having a 6 yr old wanting to do stuff. My friend has a 7 year age gap and BF and one time her husband was saying "I think the baby is hungry again" and her oldest Ds pushed the baby's head away gently and said "the milk shop is closed". I can see that happening here.

I think BF'ing second time round was a little harder in that not so much time to focus on it. First child was a total boob monster, obssessed and didn't stop until he was over 2 years old (and he only weaned because I was pregnant again and my milk dried up). But with him I could just sit and feed peacefully whenever and it was lovely. He would never talke a bottle though which was difficult.

With DD feeds became a rather rushed affair, it helped that she was far less of a faffer and just got on with it. But she was much less into it. I also introduced one bottle a day, at first expressed (later formula), at about 3 weeks and never had a problem giving her a bottle. She self-weaned completely at about 8 months which I was gutted about at the time. But DS used me for comfort whereas she just liked her dummy.

With both of them though, apart from a few days of intial soreness, it was all fine and fairly easy with no issues. I think I'm lucky though and was lucky to get good support from my midwife first time around as really had no clue. Breastfeeding properly is not necessarily instinctive, it's a learned skill and I really wish they would offer more support. Worth persevering though if you can just cos of the convenience if nothing else!

Hopefully DD and DS will play together nicely whilst I feed peacefully this time !

Bumblebee I hope you and little one get a nap now, and that the medicine means he will get some rest and feel better.

My mom couldn't BF and I have to say I struggle with the concept - I'm going to try but I have to admit it's more for weightloss and thriftyness reasons, and to make sure baby gets the colostrum. I'll try expressing for when I'm out and about and don't really mind topping up with formula, I expect DH to do feeds, as well, so definitely need some method of bottle feeding.

I'm not sure yet whether I'll even have a HV come to my house, it sounds too intrusive to me and I don't like the idea at all so I will probably turn that down.

I am dreading an idea of HV coming to my house, them making notes if something is wrong or right, how to know what would be ok for them?!

are there any methods like home remedy or creams to stop nipples from hurting, bleeding etc?

Lansinoh is the best for sore nipples. But I mostly only needed it for the first few days. Good to let lots of air get to them to let them dry after feeds. Obv if no visitors there - let them hang out for a bit. Also express a tiny drop of milk off and rub over the nipple and let that dry. The milk has anti-bacterial properties. Interestingly, it's also good for if baby gets conjuncitivitis. Just squirt some breastmilk in. Amazing stuff.

The absolute key to successful breastfeeding is making sure you have a good latch every time. If you don't, you must stop and latch them back on. It only takes one feed with a poor latch for you to get very sore. It's tricky at first but soon comes naturally. There are lots of good books out there and organisations that can help. There are a lot of breastfeeding groups out there with peer supporters who can help you as well.