June 2014 thread 5: 12-wk scans and leaving the 1st tri behind!

[wispaxmas]

Thought I'd get us started

So sorry pickly. Hope you're as ok as you can be right now x

Had an amazing weekend in Paris with my cousin, though I do wish I could have made the trip before getting pregnant because I did get very tired. I enjoyed it but spent a lot of time looking forward to seeing a sofa again!

It's all about the fruit around here too. My biggest craving at the moment is watermelon, which is really not easy to get at this time of year!

Definitely feeling less sick now - hooray! My scan is on 12th December. Can't wait!

less than 24 hours to my scan. I'm so anxious!
Having a hard day at work but hopefully everything will get better tomorrow after the scan.

for those who have told work about your pregnancy, how did you do it? emailed your line manager? Asked for a meeting? my line manager is so busy that I'm afraid she won't have time to see me anytime soon. telling work is not helping my anxiety either. I want to have a year maternity leave but I work in such a competitive environment where most people don't have children that it just seems wrong to ask for it.

Pickly, so sorry to hear your really sad news. I hope you're as okay as you can be after your loss. Be kind to yourself and when it gets rough, just put one foot in front of the other and remember to breathe.

Thanks everyone for the really kind good wishes (Seat and Eliza - thanks for being so lovely.)

I got my cvs results today after the longest, loneliest 48 hours in my life and I'm absolutely thrilled to say that the baby is perfectly healthy. No abnormalities at all were detected - and that's despite a 1 in 25 result for Downs from the NT, based on an underdeveloped nasal bone. I had my myself so totally convinced that there was a chromosomal issue, I sobbed and sobbed on the phone to the lady from the lab and made her repeat 'no abnormalities were found' back to me.

So if you have a bad feeling about your scan, please don't read too much into your 'intuition', because it's really just perfectly normal fear you're feeling. And a bad result on the NT scan is NOT a diagnosis. The older you are, the worse those figures are going to look - my 1 in 25 was purely based on my age (38) and the nasal bone. Everything else was fine but the computer is very intransigent.

Oh, and we also found out we're having a girl!

Have a great day everyone

Great news ada - and hurrah for another little girl

Ada that's so lovely and it made me cry! Really happy for you

Lovely news Ada! Very happy for you

I'm having really strange dreams at the moment... A lot of horrible ones (eg someone trying to stab me and DH - nice) and then last night I dreamt that sonographer told us at the 12 week scan we were having a girl, even though we don't want to know!

Vicky I've not had much MS either. I've not been sick at all and only had about 1 week of queasiness. I was never a big eater before (I weighed 7 stone when I got pg) so have learned to eat A LOT more and this seems to be keeping any sick feeling at bay. I totally understand why you're worried though - I'm the same. I just don't think I'll be able to relax until the first scan and (hopefully) can see that everything is OK. My scan isn't until 16th December though so it feels like ages to wait!!

Ada that is brilliant!! So happy for you!

vicky, I'm in the lucky no-ms club, too. I used to get infrequent twinges of 'maybe I feel a little sick?' But they went quickly and only happen from weeks 7-9! Really makes you not feel pg at all.

Ada, that's amazing! And you've found out the sex as well, you must be over the moon about the result . Are you going to start thinking names now?

Actually, is anyone else thinking about names? H and I went away for a weekend shortly after the bfp and started tossing names back and forth then, some were jokes (Xerxes), some were serious (Charlotte), but obviously just thinking about ideas. Does anyone have a short list of names on the go?

Any recommendations re stretch mark cream/oil? I definitely definitely have a bump, even in the morning! :)

Liquid, you don't need to tell them how long you're going to be away for.. That's what I've been told.

MTMD I have been using Bio Oil (my sister and a friend both used it and it worked wonders). I also have been having baths with Blossom and Bloom Bath Oil which also helps with the stretch marks. Have also heard ok things about Palmers Cocobutter stretch mark cream but I personally prefer and oil.

Ada, great news, congratulations!

So jealous of everyone without ms.. 12/13 weeks here, MSing all day long!!!

Oh Ada that is so fantastic, I'm so pleased for you! (Hormonal wreck that I am I had a wee cry on your behalf)

Zing, Yay, glad to hear you're on the bus, we were JSers together!

Don't geh me started on names, I've had a list of names since before I was even sure I wanted children. It's really hard to find one that is unusual, not too hippy or out there and works in both German and English. Girl's named are easier, DH pulls a face about most boy's names I like.

We have a girls name sorted (left over from last time!) but absolutely no boys names! My DS is championing Tank and Sarah - for a boy. And he won't accept it might be a girl so offering no names!

Lovely news, Ada. Must be such a relief - relax now and enjoy your pregnancy.

MTMD I used Palmers religiously first time around and got no stretchmarks. Couldn't be arsed second time around and did get stretchmarks (but only in the last week!). They're not too bad though really. It's more the crepey-ness that I developed after the second pregnancy that bothers me more. Unavoidable I guess.

Great news Ada, so glad everything came out normal! Lovely that you're having a girl too

Liquid - I told my line manager yesterday. I was about to request a meeting but as it happened he asked me to meet him about something else so told him then as it fitted in with what we were talking about. If possible I would tell her in person, even if you manage to shoehorn in a 10 min meeting somewhere. My boss and I just had a quick chat about it (he seemed more excited than I am!) and asked my due date so they can start looking at getting cover - I think at first you just need to give a heads up then can deal with the details later. Re. taking a year of mat leave - I'm by no means an expert as never done it but you're entitled to a year, why shouldn't you take it?! And do you have to ask for it? Again, I have no idea but would have thought they'd say 'when are you coming back' and you'd say 'May 2015' or whatever?? prepares to be told she's completely wrong

Oh, and I use Weleda stretch mark oil.

Yay Ada - that's great news!

No names here. I've already posted over on the naming thread for some ideas. I had loads -of great names-but DH has vetoed all the good ones. We have such different tastes. He is stuck in our generation - his logic so far seems to be if there wasn't one he went to school with then the name is weird/too unusual.

But I grew up with a normal(ish) name but very rarely met others with it (I think I've met three in my life and two were in the last year). But DH's name was super popular - think there were 5 in my year at school.

At least we have 7 months to -argue- decide.

I know it's going to seem a bit nuts to people here but back home your job is kept open for your for 3 years and most women that can afford to do it do stay home for that time - I certainly always assumed that was going to be the case for me and I'm struggling with the thought of only a year off.

I am planning on going part time afterwards anyway so we'll have to see how it works out, I have the option of a career break.

Ooh names - someone said to me yesterday, "oh, now you'll have to think up two names" as if it is a chore- in my eyes it's the best bit! We have a few of each sex (more girls though) that we bandy about but that's as far as it gets at the moment.

Haven't even thought about stretch marks as haven't got a bump although have got bigger. Tbh am thinking I probably won't get much as before I got knocked up I had lost nearly 7st so my skin is used to housing a larger cargo!

MTMD - I didn't know they weren't allowed to ask, but makes sense. My boss asked if I was planning to come back afterwards - I assumed that was ok to ask but anyway my answer was a bit ambiguous - I plan to, probably 3 days a week, but I wasn't planning for twins so who knows! He seemed happy enough with that!

I've taken the full year each time and will be doing so again. It's hard leaving them at 11 months when they are just getting interesting! I work 3 days though which in theory is a nice balance but it's hard balancing work and home and fitting in all the work (and being skint all the time). If I'm honest the kids will always take priority though. Will be even more of a juggling act with 3.

We've got a girls name left over from DD (our spare!) but I've gone off the boys names. If previous pregnancies anything to go on I will probably change my mind though!

I want 15 months of maternity leave... DH is a teacher and I would LOVE to spend two summers enjoying our little family...in an ideal world... Unfortunately my workplace isn't very flexible..not sure I'll be allowed. They never go out of their way to help parents. Unless they're senior managers!!

BEE, my I ask where you're from?

Liquid - are you in the UK or somewhere else? In UK companies legally should assume you will take the full year, unless you give them notice of other intentions. I appreciate how difficult it is though. I am also worried about telling work. My 100 strong team is primarily made up of men with SAH wives and so do not acknowledge the concept of a "working" mother. However, my OH has a very demanding job (as they do) and so when I do go back, I will be the main person "on call" which they will not be at all used to.
There has been one pregnancy in our large team (approx 100 people) in the past 4 years. I am worried!

I think they won't take it that well, but I do work for a big company that will have very stringent HR policies - so that's at least something. I plan on making sure I know my rights (both legally and within our companies policies) before I tell anyone, so I can ensure I am treated fairly once I tell them. I am actually more worried about what will happen when I go back after mat leave. In the team of 100, a lot of the men have children (with SAH mums) but I think only one woman has a child. It just does not co-exist well with our jobs.

I currently plan on telling them end of Jan - however my belly seems to be on a different schedule.

Good luck - and I would also try to do it F2F if you can.

Bee, we can't think of boys names we like, either! My sister is currently in the same boat, and she's due mid February with her second son. Where is 'home', by the way? Where I'm from it's not uncommon for women to be pressured into returning to work after only a couple months off!

Clever, tank and Sarah? Wow.

Riblet, just so long as you don't go with rhyming names! Or male and female versions of the same name is it turns out to be both. I knew twins named Chance and Chancine and it was just cringeworthy!