February 2014 - is there an octopus in there?

[LittlePandaBear]

Okay I don't like to run out of things, even threads, so here's the new one.

Can't remember who described their baby kicking like an octopus but it's very true :)

Pram deal

Ok I have decided to not purchase the Icandy that is too far away. So if anyone is interested I can give you the details. It is in Potters Bar and it is a red and black Icandy Cherry. Comes with carry cot, Chasis, pram, footmuff, rain covers and she didn't advertise it but when I asked her about it she said she would throw the car seat in too (but I know most people would want new or a car seat from someone they know) all for £120 which is a total bargain as it looks like it is in really good condition (haven't seen it in the flesh).

I would have gone for it as it offered more bits and pieces than the one I am getting for the money. But I cannot afford the petrol to go and pick it up. I have managed to secure the one near my husbands work for £100 which was really nice of her as she originally wanted £150 then went down to £125 but we were just honest and told her what we could afford so she accepted. Gumtree is my new best friend.

Thanks ladies. I'm so glad I have all you lot for support - big non-mumsnet style hug.

I'm hoping work class it as related to preg as it bloody well is. If I wasn't preg I wouldn't be bloody shattered and coming down with every frigging bug going, making me crap at dealing with all the stress. Normally I'm so hard working and I love my job and can deal with kids no problem. I do just need to think "stuff it - i'm off now, focus on health" as that's what I need. To be fair I think work we're planning on getting my replacement to start in two weeks anyway for a cross over period - so cost wise if they get him in earlier it's not a huge difference.

I'll need to go in and sort some stuff out though - might have to sneak in on a Saturday as i'll be too scared of them being dicks with me lol what a wuss!

It's so good to hear some of the epidural experiences. I don't want one but I'm open to the fact that I have no idea what will happen in labour so it's good to know how people have found them. I might be like "fuck the home birth get me to the epidural NOW!!!" .

Right time to let work know the good news - eeeek x

Aw misskat I can completely understand how you feel. The way the doctor phrased it was massively belittling. It's so hard when you know that you're a hard working, committed person and suddenly your body isn't letting you operate in the way you normally do.

As you've been there for 8 years I'm sure that work will know this is pregnancy related but I'm sure you could get the note reworded as "pregnancy and stress related" if you wanted.

But you're also right - you DO need to think stuff it, as it's you and the baby who are the most important people right now. And you can join julietee's and my bored at home club

Thanks Marzi - god I might be joining the bored in a hotel club next week if the bloody house gets started. I'll be itching to go back and be stressed out by naughty kids lol! I might try and see/speak to a different doctor to ask about the wording. My next door neighbour said the one I was seeing today was a bitch - she wasn't bloody kidding!

I've emailed work. Feel a bit better now it's done. Might take a trip to B+Q to try and pick some new wallpaper (budget allowed £12 a roll) - they won't care there that i look like a crying snot bag

Thanks Champagne.

I have emailed school and said I have been signed off but haven't given the details yet - I've said I will post the cert in and to contact me by phone/email if there's anything they need.

I've tried ringing the docs but they are no closed grrrr but will try tomorrow as I do want to speak to someone else and just clarify what this says. The note at the moment says "because of Stress at work I advise that you are not fit for work". It says from now until 19/12 and that they won't need to assess my fitness again at the end of this period.

That's the day we break up for Christmas and I'm planning on taking mat leave from 6th Jan which is when i'm 36+2.

I think it's bothering me so much as it just says "stress at work" and i don't want people to think that i'm just off because I can't cope for no reason. I mean, i've suffered with horrid anxiety in the past and have managed to get through work (was horrible but I did), so I know that I would be able to manage if I wasn't preg. Sorry ladies I'm like a bloody broken record today . I will hopefully see what the doc says tomorrow and then may ask you to help look over a letter Champagne - thank you again, I really appreciate it.

Just wanted to update - I rang the day unit and they had me in. Checked the heartbeat, decided amongst themselves that monitoring started at 28 weeks and sent me on my way. So... not sure how to feel? Happy that the heartbeat is all good I guess! And trying not to worry further.

Ah misskat yes the bored in a hotel club! Last night was supposed to be our final one in a hotel...have stayed in 4 in total and don't want to see a miniature bottle of shampoo again for a long time!
Sort of dreading going home because the heating hasn't been on yet this year and it's been snowing so it's going to be all freezing and stinky and damp but it will be nice to fall asleep with a big purring hot water bottle on the bed again.

julietee I think you should feel reassured...at least they had you in rather than making snide comments on the phone! :) It really does seem as though there is still plenty of room to hide at 26/27 weeks as so many of us have been through this. Hopefully your LO will get busy again now that you've gone to all the stress of calling and going in..

Awww Julie - that's good that you got checked out. Try not to worry - I know it's hard. I'm almost 30 weeks and still have some days where she's really active and others when not so much. I usually try a bit of prodding which is a bit hit and miss at getting the desired result.

God the bursar at work replied acknowledging my email and also said she hasn't had my maternity application form or MatB1 form! errrr - yes you have I bloody gave it in a month ago when I was 25 weeks!!!!

Marzi Yes, that's very true! Actually the midwife was lovely on the phone and in person. Plus she tried listening in with a little blue trumpet which was most amusing. Reassured it is :)

MissKat Argh, the stress won't stop coming today, eh?
I'm sorry you're feeling rubbish. I agree with Champagne that they should have been making accommodations for you for a while now, so this is very much a direct result of the school not checking in with you to see how you're coping. I wonder if they'll learn for future staff pregnancies?
I know from my mum how much teaching knocks it out of you and I am hugely impressed with your strength and dedication thus far.
Your doctor does indeed sound like a cockwomble. I've seen docs like her who think you're just after a sick note and refuse to look any further than their own smug sense of annoyance. I remember having to stay home from a uni exam because I had the flu and showing up very obviously ill at the on call doc's office - who then refused to give me a note and acted like I was making the whole thing up to waste his time.

Meanwhile, my mum's friend's daughter has stayed at the Knutsford suite post labour for 2 nights at a cost of £400 per night, and I am rather jealous! But I guess I'm spending more on a doula. I wish the private rooms were more affordable. I don't like the idea of being kept up all hours by people's visitors, inconsiderate noisemaking, midwives exposing your breastfeeding to said visitors and etc. I'm sure I'll just get on with it when the time comes and hope for a quick discharge.

apologies in advance to those on fb, you are about to get a gazillion notifications as I'm uploading docs to it. anyone not on fb who wants them I can add them to dropbox.

Champagne There's a line in 'Bring up the Bodies' by Hilary Mantel where someone comments it would be easier if women had a glass panel so you could check. I entirely agree!
I read that at my stage he's about 9.5 inches and will get up to about 15. Which seems like such a little way to go for such a big change in bump! I suppose a lot of it's putting on weight as he's only 2lbs or thereabouts now.

Julie - I'm interested in getting a doula - any tips on how to go about it/ what kind of things to consider when picking one? As I'm hoping for a home birth I think it might be good to have one.

Thanks again champagne - you're an absolute star. I don't know what we'd all do without you!

MissKat how does the home birth thing work in your area? Because down here, I've been referred to the hospital's home birth team who will look after me for the remainder of my pregnancy. As that team has recently been depleted from 4 midwives down to 2, I am almost guaranteeing that I will have got to know the midwife who is with me when I give birth, then the second one that comes along could be a community midwife from what I understand. Am a bit ignorant about doulas but what else would one of those bring to the party?

I'm not 100% sure yet lovesto - I told mw last time that I want a home birth and I think that it could just be any community midwife who comes out. If so a doula gives you an extra person who you have a bit more of a relationship with I think, just to help give support etc. To be fair after I've been eyeing up the £250 birth pools I don't know if budget will stretch to a doula as well I'll need to ask the midwife a bit more about it at the next appointment.

Have you been on homebirth.org at all? I was looking the other day and found so much useful info. There's lots about natural births in general which would be really useful for anyone as well - not just those planning a homebirth.

missk sorry to hear your doctor added to your stress. She was a bit out of order. I agree with you that normal stress becomes unbearable when pregnant. I had this a few weeks back where stress that I'd normally not lose any sleep over had me in floods of tears for about 10 days. The only thing that bought resolution was my gp offering to sign me off with pregnancy related issues if I wanted, and getting agreement to finishing work earlier than planned. I think you're well within your rights to get the gp to amend the note.

In the eurostar for my last work trip to Brussels for all long time. I'm a bit sad!

MissKat Here's my doula - we've had one meeting with her and emails back and forth and she seems just wonderful:
www.birthbliss.co.uk/

I did some extensive googling with my area + doula. There's a website that claims to have a list of them but it didn't seem very up to date.

The more I read the more I'm incredibly happy we'll have her - to be an advocate for me when I'm not in a state to do it myself, and for her knowledge and calm. Apparently they also coach the husbands on what to do, come round post birth, help BF, etc. She's also doing some sessions to plan the birth with us starting at 29 weeks. She seemed really calm, level headed and together when we met. Though I've wished she could give advice on the medical side as well, I don't regret not going for a private midwife (and I couldn't afford one anyway!).

MissK I just bought my (brand new) birthing pool from eBay for £125 which comes with all the kit you need (pump, hose, tap adaptor, liner etc) and am reasonably confident that I will be able to sell on again afterwards (minus the liner) for about £60, so should only cost me £65. I do feel good knowing that I will get to know the two home birth midwives from my hospital at my remaining appointments, although I also feel I should prepare myself for what happens if they don't get to me in time as DS arrived very quickly! I feel more comfortable preparing for this than intending to get myself to hospital and not making it!

Aw misskat poor you, doc sounds like a knob. I'm starting to stress at work, my bottom year 7s are horrendous, have them last lesson every day! They were late to my lesson today because they barricaded themselves in their class with a supply teacher... I have meeting with asst head tomorrow to discuss how I'm managing and whether I have enough support (not pregnancy related, as asking all core departments). Will be interesting!

Also, they are interviewing for my replacement next week, hopefully if I can stress enough how I am struggling tomorrow, they may get them in earlier (start of jan, rather than 3 weeks later). Will have to wait and see though.

Loads of fights in school at moment, must be full moon, but I was only person who turned up for outside duty... Slight health and safety issue there!

With regards epidural and pethadine, I was put off a bit when my cantenatl class said that they are opiates which can pass to baby if given too late on in labour... But think I will go in with idea that I won't have it but if needs must, then I will be shouting for it!

I've heard that about pethadine but not epidural cubano. Has been some time since my antenatal classes though so maybe i'm remembering wrong. I had pethadine really early on with DD1...it did help so i'd have it again but definitely nearer the beginning rather than the end (in so much as you can plan these things!).

Also don't be shy about saying how you are coping in your meeting and what support you need/may need in the coming weeks.

MissK - sorry to hear about your work stress, hopefully once you've told your school you can then relax and focus on yourself and baby. As others have said, your 8 years there will speak for itself!

The doula thing sounds really interesting, I haven't known anyone who's had one but can see how the right one could aid your experience. I'd be useless at that job :) I must admit, I'm so nervous of a natural birth due to all of the uncertainties so am sticking with my decision to have a section at 39 weeks. Although if I go into labour naturally earlier than that, I'm hoping they'll still do the section and not try to make me go through with it 'properly'. I like to plan things as far as I can and couldn't bear to start with a natural labour and end up with a section anyway (the doc said there'd be a 30% chance of a section if I tried for a natural birth due to my previous section scar). I will hopefully be more calm than I was last time as I've been through it all before.

I spent 4 nights in hospital after DD was born, the first on a shared ward where all of us new mothers were pressing our 'call' buttons all the time as we couldn't get out of bed to pick up our babies who needed feeding! It was magical and horrible at the same time! Then after that they moved me to my own room, no idea why, but it was so much better. It was our own space and I had more space for visitors, more privacy, and didn't have to share that time with anyone else.

I had my 28 week appt today - I'm 27+6 but didn't want to wait another week! Everything was fine, nice to hear the hearbeat and am measuring at 28cm. Bloods taken and I just have to call in the next few days for the results. Next appointment is at 32 weeks and I'll have the whooping cough jab then. I was in and out of there in 15 mins and DD even behaved herself and didn't flinch watching me having the bloods taken!

Stranger in restuarant today asked when I was due and when I said Feb she said 'Oooh that's a long time!' so she obviously thought I was big! I felt like saying 'Actually I measured perfectly today'. Just as I was feeling that Feb isn't far away at all...