February 2014 - is there an octopus in there?

[LittlePandaBear]

Okay I don't like to run out of things, even threads, so here's the new one.

Can't remember who described their baby kicking like an octopus but it's very true :)

And have you seen there's an August thread now! We're 6 months ahead of them!

missk I'm pleased to hear that you're signed off and can really chill out and relax now - but your doctor sounds like a right twat. Given your job is so physically active (in comparison to a desk job) I'm not surprised you're struggling.

I battled the traffic to drive to work today (another 2hr drive) to get into the office for a 9am mtg which was cancelled at 8.45am. So that put me in a bad mood. Then my 1pm mtg was also cancelled. So I decided to drive home at 3pm to beat the traffic and continued to work from home in my pjs with a cat purring on my lap. Much better. Think might try this tactic more often midweek.

A friend of mine gave birth to a little girl today! It's lovely news but quite scary as after her baby, another mutual friend is due on Christmas Eve, then it's my turn.... actually crapping myself.

On the drugs during childbirth I'm pretty much open minded at the moment. I'm of the opinion if the medics say I can have it then I'll have it. I've got no particular desire to go drug-free. I would even be happy with CS if needed. Bottom line as long as me and baby make it out of there alive and with 4 limbs I'm happy (although would prefer a natural birth just to see if I can do it).

Oh, hit a new preggo milestone today, someone who isn't DH poked and stroked my bump at work. She is a lovely lady who is very interested in my pregnancy but today decided she wanted to cop a feel as 'it looks so scrummy'. I was in the middle of the office floor surrounded by blokes who all got a bit shifty in their seats. Not sure whether I felt violated or just plain embarrassed but it wasn't a joyous occasion....

Night night fellow cake-eating-hippos..

Thanks Julie I'll have a look at the doula site

Gosh cubano - sounds like you're having a nightmare time as well. Those year 7s sound like little devils! The poor supply teacher! Luckily our ones aren't too bad this year for a change. I really hope your meeting goes well tomorrow and that school can put things in place to help you out.

Lovesto your pool sounds fab! I was looking into ones like that but then found one to hire which is heated and with a filter and you can basically just fill it and use it as a hot tub whilst you're waiting for the baby to arrive. Maybe it's my lack of a bath at the memento but the thought of a giant hot tub in my dining room is looking pretty blissful!

Littlepanda -the private room sounds lovely and a much better option if you have to stay in after a section. It not be so hard getting any rest on a ward full of ladies with new babies!

Jazzcat - what a pain in the arse of a day. Your afternoon sounds lovely though even though it involved work. Definitely try and do some more work from home in the week if you can, your commute sounds hellish!

Thanks again for all the support today ladies, you've made me feel so much better. Must do a belated bump pic tomorrow (will try and make myself look a bit less rough than I have spent today doing )

Have made it to Brussels ok, with lots of men helping me with my suitcase I've got another attack of the morning sickness/diarrhoea though. Bad timing. Baby seems quite happy wiggling away despite it!

I would save yes to drugs were I not such a control freak. I hate getting drunk so can't imagine liking even gas and air let alone pethidine.

I've no idea how I'll react to the pain. I've run a half marathon with a stress fracture, and walked km after km with two fractures, and coped with a miscarriage on just paracetomal. But I'm a total wuss when it comes to pain like blisters, so I'm not sure really.

My lose birth plan at the moment is water birth, codeine, tens. If things go wrong then in tempted to move straight to epidural. I'll give gas and air a whirl I suppose!

Hoping the sickness settles enough for me to go to sleep. I feel fine other than the dodgy tummy, so I'm sure it's not a bug.

Oooh all this talk about epidurals and pain relief is making me nervous!!! Id love to have a water birth with only g+a if needed but at the moment have to go to consultant led department so possibly out the window:( which is disappointing because I really wanted a water birth with dd1 aswell and ended up being induced.

Really feeling everyone's work related issues aswell!! Seems like this is going to be a long 6 weeks still before my maternity starts.

Can anyone reccomend a good pelvic support band? The one the physio gave me is no use atall!!

I just wrote a really long messsge and crappy app deleted it. Why the f* do they put a 'home' option in tapping distance of the space bar!?

In short then...

misskat your day sounds awful - - really hope you're ok. Sounds like the right thing to do. Might be worth emailing practice manager about the gp's manner though.

On private rooms - Tunbridge Wells hosp (one of 3 choices for us) is 100% single rooms which has swayed my decision to go there even though it's consultant led (would much rather do mw led if all stays healthy). They've got a fairly traditional set up though so might mean a water birth is out as there's a low pool to room ratio. Am more relaxed not having to worry about a busy recovery ward but apparently some people don't like it because it gets lonely when visitors leave.

Eeyoreish, I just wanted to say that I don't drink now (and have never been more than a but tipsy) because I hate to be out of control. Gas and air didn't make me feel dizzy, sick or out of it. It just took the edge off the pain and gave me a focus. So don't rule it out as it works well for some of us

On the topic of doulas I didn't have one but I did have my best friend there as well as my DH, I think to play a slightly similar doula type role. It was good having someone there who was one step removed iykwim so could speak up for me, run to the shop if we needed anything, liaise with my mum and dad (who'd travelled to Leeds but obv couldn't be in the birth suite). I found it really helped, took the pressure off and me & DH could just concentrate on me and the birth.

I'm going to have her with us again this time!

For me, the biggest thing about booking a doula is that she will be with me the whole time, from when I go into labour to breastfeeding. I read the reviews of my hospital's maternity ward online and the biggest complaint was the MW being rushed off their feet, so for my and DH's peace of mind, we've chosen to pay for one lovely, practical, warm, sensible woman to stay with us. Plus it means I can labour at home for as long as possible, safely, and have someone there who has seen it all before and can reassure me. Even though my potential birth situation has changed a little, I think she'll be fantastic through induction/assisted birth as well, and will help me feel less vulnerable. It also takes the pressure off my DH a bit, as he knows I won't be entirely reliant on him to see me through something that is brand new to both of us.

Gnitting Ditto! Plus, as much as I love DH, he is not the most assertive of people and I want someone experienced who will REALLY be advocating for me if they start pressing interventions I don't want (like an episiotomy).
Plus yeah, she'll be there the whole time doing... I don't know, helpful stuff! (You see how much I know about the birth process!).
That said, she's only available exclusively to me for a certain time before and after my due date, which worries me as I have a feeling he'll be arriving around 37 weeks.

Really good points gnitting - I think I'm definitely thinking it would be a good idea now. Especially as we are wanting to hypnobirth which require DH to do lots of things to help me say calm etc.

Awww I just went to see the nice doctor and she was so lovely. She said it doesn't matter what the note says and that it's just so work know I'm off and to go home, relax and do my Christmas shopping. Feel a bit better now. Right I'd best draft up a letter and sort out the stuff I need to give to my replacement. I hope my kids warm to him. Feel gutted that I'm not going to get to see the good ones again for a while but so relieved I can get some rest.

Hope your trip goes well Eeyore and that you're feeling a bit better and that everyone else feeling shite feels better soon as well.

Need to research the local premier inn today too - joy

I wanted someone else at the birth as DH can be a bit of a fainting nelly around medical stuff (he once almost passed out when someone took my blood pressure...). In the end he was fine during labour and even came into theatre with me when they did the emcs

MissKat that is very good news about the lovely doctor. Will that be it for you work-wise now, can't remember if you thought you might make a fleeting appearance again in January or will that be pointless if your cover is in place by then?

Doulas sound like a fab idea - I was never even aware that such a person existed when I had DS. Although I guess with the speed of everything, unless she happened to live very locally and be able to drop everything and get over to me, I don't suppose there is much she could have done. I know so many friends who have ended up with disappointing birth experiences that I'm sure could have been avoided if they'd had someone experienced to advocate for them when they're feeling knackered and vulnerable in hospital.

I'm feeling crappy today as I seem to be back to puking violently every morning again - welcome to the third trimester! This morning I thought I would be ok so I had breakfast, then violently brought the whole lot up into the kitchen sink while DH whisked DS upstairs to get dressed, trying to make a joke about Mummy 'making monster noises' so he didn't get too freaked out. At work now and bored already but we're off to Center Parcs tomorrow for a long weekend and then after that I've only got 11 more working days in the office (a few more if you count the ones working from home, but I don't bother!)

Eeyore I concur with lastnight. I used gas and air oh and two paracetamol with DS, and at no point felt out of it, I knew what was happening at all times. The reason I went for this over drugs was that if it didnt agree with me, it was out of your system quickly. I also didnt want something that may or may not work, and could slow labour down. For me the gas and air gave me a focus and I regulated my breathing accordingly.

The midwife offered a TENS machine and was going to fill the birthing pool to give my poor back some support but by that time, it was too late and
I hadnt considered giving birth in a pool so she didnt want to go against my wishes.

However, there is no right or wrong thing when it comes to labour and the most important thing is that you and baby are safe and healthy. Too much emphasis is put on the "natural" birth, what will be will be.

The important thing to discuss with your DH/birthing partner is the injection to help deliver the placenta. I didnt want it when discussed in advance but had given DH permission to overide me if he thought it best. He did, on the grounds that I was exhausted, hadnt eaten for 24 hours and was shaking. It was a very good decision he made.

Oh yes cam, I forgot I had 2 paracetamol as well

I also used a tens machine and will definitely hire one again this time.

Hi everyone,

Reporting from my sick bed as it seems I have a stomach bug. That's the second one now since I have been over the worst of the HG. Doesn't seem fair at all. Thankfully my husband was really good as I was so ill in the night and for once in his life he showed sympathy as I cried into the toilet bowl. He is working from home today as there is no way I could have got up and taken my children to school.

Misskat so glad to hear you got to speak to a nice doctor. Take it easy now and don't feel bad.

On the labour meds front, I didn't have any reaction to g&a like some others do. I didn't feel sick thank goodness and I didn't feel dizzy or dopey it just helped ease the pain of contractions.

I had DH there at both births and I also had my DM at first birth and my best friend at second birth. We have now decided we will have my DM come to look after the children this time whilst in labour and in hospital. But that depends on this being another induction as she lives in Scotland. I have a close friend who can always step in temporarily if I go into labour naturally.

So I think it will just be DH and I at the birth this time. He is a fantastic birth partner so I feel very lucky about that. But I still think it might be nice to have a female friend there. Or on the other hand as its our last child it might just be more special with the two of us there without anyone else.

My friend recently delivered her cousins baby at home with the help of the ambulance service on the phone. It is the second time she has had to do that as it happened to her with a friend too. I said to her, her calling is to be a midwife.

I am going to go and have a look at the labour suite in Epsom soon. As I do feel a bit nervous giving birth in a different hospital. They said I can book a tour from about 30 weeks. Just think if I was to give birth at the same gestation my DD was born I would be having a baby in 8 wks, scarey!
I really think I should start getting things organised. So far all I have is a snowsuit, 4 knitted cardigans and about 2 vests and one sleep suit, my charity shop bargains. Oh and I have a Moses basket too. I think by this stage with my first I had already purchased the whole of mothercare.

Sorry for the essay, over and out now! Back to sleep.

"relax and do your Christmas shopping". misskat, has your doctor ever actually been Christmas shopping? So glad you finally managed to see a sympathetic doctor. Sometimes its all down to how they speak to you more than what they can do.
I've just got back from Christmas shopping and I'm exhausted. Old people have no sympathy for pregnant women and will push you out of the way, tutting as they do so to grab the last Christmas hamper. I do love Christmas though and feel great knowing 99% of it is done. Most of it was from Amazon anyway but I needn't have worried about the death of the high street, it was heaving.
Also got some goodies for ds2's sleepover on Saturday. I'm not as brave this time so we've only got 4 kids coming but that is definitely enough. Might as well treat him while we can because there is no way I'm doing sleepovers with a baby too. I'm not that crazy.
Also got lots of art and crafts so ds2 and I can make Christmas decorations today. I know it's November but I don't care.
Hope everyone who is struggling with winter colds, stress and tiredness manages to get some rest this weekend. Not long till maternity leave/Christmas holidays.

I like to think those two paracetamol about 8 hours before DS was born made all the difference! maybe thats what gave me the strength that had DH fearing for the survival of his thumb at one point...

Ugh, Christmas shopping despite time out from retail i still cant get excited by it, we were meant to be doing this tomorrow but DH has just asked if we want to come into the city for the Christmas light switch on. If I get my bottom in gear, I could actually get some done before we meet him...

This week the spd has come back with a crippling passion, the heartburn is ten times worse and thanks to Ds having nightmares (I know its not his fault) am lacking in sleep... 10weeks, 6 days to go and at least two of those will go....

Damn blast and buggeration! The seller of the house we are mostly hoping to move into (it ain't perfect, but it's pretty good) is having mortgage issues and may not be able to move after all. And in the 3 ish months since we put in an offer, it would appear that equivalent houses in the area have increased in value by around 20-35k. Which is too much for us. Which means another rental, giving the IL's back the chunk of money they were going to lend us for the deposit (which they almost certainly won't be in a position to lend to us again), further uncertainty re where we're living, still not being able to get settled somewhere and no nursery for Bean! Living out of boxes with a 6 week old! Packing! Cleaning someone else's shitty carpet! Argle!!

There is a nice house, whose sellers apparently are keen to sell to a family only, which needs updating (eg grim carpets, needs painting, but seems to be otherwise ok) which is also in our price range but which is tucked right up under the North Circular, the single most polluted strip of road in London. I just don't think I can put a newly minted set of tiny lungs in that kind of pollution - is that sensible or just wishful thinking that anywhere in Walthamstow is going to be any fresher?

oh Gnitting, thats rubbish, how do people get that far into something not knowing there may be an issue?! we had to have a mortgage agreed in principle before some agents would even let us view somewhere. If I can be of any help searching rightmove, zoopla etc, then let me know. I don't know the areas so cant help on that.

Yep lovesto that will be it now! eeeek! I'm so relieved as I'm still battling a frigging cold and just looking forward to resting now. In the premier inn which I have just had to book into for next week! Apparently the contractor might be able to come and fix the pipe on Saturday - which means I might be able to have a bath this weekend OH MY GOD SO EXCITED! But then the putting the house right starts which involves taking up sink and toilet and tiles to re-tile the bathroom floor and stripping the walls downstairs and repapering. It's such a massive job as our terrace is open plan where the stairs are so even though only a couple of places have damage to the walls it all needs repapering. I have found some pink polka dot paper though that I'm wondering if I can sneak in somewhere lol. Don't know why the people before us decided to do this to the house - it makes it look bigger but it also makes it bloody freezing and means that any decorating you do in the lounge/dining room/stairs or landing needs doing in all those places. Silly people!

Gnitting that is so shit about the house! I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed they get their mortgage issues sorted out and that you can move in. The last thing you want is to be living out of boxes with a baby - you must be so stressed out. It's a shame its so polluted where you are now as even though it needs work I'm sure it would be great not to have to move.

Thingy you're right Christmas shopping is hellish. I think a lot of mine will be amazon based! Definitely cant be arsed elbowing people out of the way in the high street shops to find decent gifts. At least when I am stuck in the hotel next week I will have little to do but get some crochet done and hopefully make a few more pressies for people.

ah gnitting you poor thing - that sounds like a right bloody nightmare. I lived in Walthamstow for years and loved it but I would be inclined to avoid the north circular part... sorry I know that's not helpful! Crossing fingers and toes a decent solution presents itself soon...

cam lastnight good to know that you were ok with gas and air. I'll give it a whirl! The midwife at the MLU promised me codeine rather than paracetomal, I hope she sticks to that!

missk glad today's doctor was much nicer. Put your feet up and enjoy the break from work, you really deserve it, especially with a cold and the house stress.

gnitting that is so annoying on the house front. I hope they do manage to sort out a mortgage.

It looks like this week's work trip isn't the last, I'll be over next week to I hadn't wanted to travel past 30 weeks. It's a bit shit as it's two nights and long days this week, one night away and a long day next week followed by working at the weekend. I am going to be a wreck by December! I'm already teary at the thought of having to travel next week.

On the plus side, baby is still wriggling away happily. I love that feeling

time to do more work now

Gnitting I lived in W'stow with DH for a while and parts of it are really quiet and lovely - obviously the main drag is more pollute-y, but lots was less used roads.

gnitting that is rubbish on the house front, really hope they sort themselves out. I would be wary of getting anywhere way by a main rd for pollution and safety issues.

Good news abt mending your house misskatamari! Enjoy the premier inn luxury in the meantime :)

I know what you mean eeyorish I love love love feeling bean wriggling. Have a proper panic when she goes missing though, but I will never have enough of this feeling.

Haven't even thought abt Christmas shopping! Don't think I am correlating my 4 weeks 1 countdown till mat leave with the fact that is also pretty much Christmas too...priorities