February 2014 - is there an octopus in there?

[LittlePandaBear]

Okay I don't like to run out of things, even threads, so here's the new one.

Can't remember who described their baby kicking like an octopus but it's very true :)

Cubano - I had an epidural with dd and I didn't know that either!!!

Cubano, Sassy - I only knew from watching OBEM. Tbh when i had mine i was past caring and I only felt the 'injection' bit of it anyway.

Also we are very nearly decided on a name - I'm not 100% (but I don't think i will be with anything until DD2 is born and I see her) but we are leaning very heavily towards Sadie. Am being swayed as DD1 keeps trying to say it which is v cute. Middle name likely to be Rain middle names are what hippy pregnancy hormones are for!

Glad it wasn't just me Dawn - yes at that stage I don't think I would have noticed anything they did!

I asked the midwife about needles/taking blood/etc at epidural stage (I need small child needles for my small child veins apparently) and she assured me that by that point I wouldn't be that bothered/aware of that side of it - good to know she wasn't just fobbing me off!

Out of interest, are many people going for epidural-at-earliest-possible-moment approach? Was speaking to a friend recently who was evangelical about the epidural and being hooked up to all the machines at all times for reassurance - I've read so many hypnobirthing/yoga/active birthing/2 paracetamol stories recently that it was really useful to hear there are other approaches to the process, so would be interesting to hear more opinions (and experiences) if you're happy to share?

Sunflowered I personally think most people know in advance whether they feel inclined towards a natural birth or one hooked up to as much pain relief as possible. Although saying that I know some people who have set out wanting a calm, natural water birth and ended up demanding pethadine, epidural etc. which surprised even themselves. Personally I don't really like the sensation of being out of control (not a big fan of being really drunk, drugs are definitely not my thing) and felt pretty strongly that I wanted to experience it and remember it. Plus there is a fair amount of evidence that epidurals can slow things down and then result in more intervention. Not that I would judge anyone who chooses that route of course, it's just not for me. Personally I had a water birth with gas & air and was lucky that it was super quick (although very ouchy) and it all went pretty much as I had hoped.

Hey guys,

I'm slightly freaking out because I've had reduced movements since about 3:30 yesterday - barely felt him today at all.
Would love some reassurance from those of you who had this too! (I know I've read about some on this thread but can't remember when and from who). I'm 26+3 now.

I might consider an epidural this time. I was fully induced with my first and had gas and air and also had gas and air with my second but I think I'd like a pain free labour this time.

The only thing that puts me off is being stuck on my back for hours which was incredibly uncomfortable when I was induced but I guess I won't feel it with an epidural anyway. Also not sure about how quickly I could get home afterwards. If I had to stay in the hospital for a day or two I might change my mind. I prefer my home comforts over labour pain relief apparently.
Would love to hear about other people's experiences with epidurals.

I agree that you probably won't care about the tube in your back by that stage. When I was induced I had to have a constant drip feed to keep labour going which they put in my hand (small veins here as well) and at one point I managed to pull the whole thing out without noticing. Your mind is quite preoccupied at the time.

Thingy bloody hell, that's sort of good to know (about the pulling the drip out thing). After I was on a drip for HG I could 'feel' it in my arm for about a week, it made me feel sick to look at/have anything brush against where the IV had been.

I hate needles so much that I'm definitely not going in with the 'give me an epidural NOW' attitude (plus I want to be in an MLU and if at all possible labour/birth in water) but of course this being my first time I am well aware that I have no idea whatsoever how painful it is all going to be and am prepared to eat my words come Jan/Feb.

That said I also don't react well to drink/drugs - after anaesthetic earlier this year I was puking and puking all night, I would hate to have a similar reaction to epidural and not enjoy first night with baby.

Julietee I was one who had reduced movement, it went on for a couple of days. I called the hospital eventually and they basically said it was too soon to worry - I was 27 weeks. Nothing I did really helped - lying down, cold drinks, prodding, etc. I think now that she had probably got herself into a funny position.
The websites etc do say don't worry about counting kicks til 28 weeks, but if you're concerned, just call the hospital - yours might be nicer than mine :) And it was somewhat (though not entirely, tbh!) reassuring to have a mw tell me not to worry.

I was exaxtly the same. For months afterwards that area on my hand felt uncomfortable. I thought it was caused by pulling it out but maybe everyone gets that afterwards.
Not everyone who gets induced needs a drip btw so don't let that put anyone off. My labour just wouldn't continue by itself, he didn't want to come out. Ds1 is still super lazy now.

Thanks Champagne and Marzi. I also read that it's too early before 28 weeks, but then the RCOG guidelines on reduced movement start from 24 weeks. I wonder if midwives are aware of that?
Yeah, I'm at Watford. With my anxiety I'm pretty shite on the phone, so it's really a last resort for me, unhappily. I'm so conscious of disturbing them and I don't know the right number to call - it all gets into a tangled mess of anxiety.

Marzi I'm a needle phobe too. While I'd prefer a natural type experience from the comfort of my own head, I'm also acutely aware that I have no idea how I'll handle the onslaught of pain. Keep reading reports of Watford delivery suite where people could hear women screaming whilst on the tour and it kinda terrifies me!
So I'm open to the idea of an epidural. I don't know what pethidine is yet. 'Expecting Better' has a really good section on the risks vs benefits of them (apparently the stats show they do increase interventions (mostly antibiotics) but don't really slow everything down as people fear).

Wrote out looong post about epidurals/birth and my laptop ate it. Argh!

I'll just give the summary which is the best advice I was given. Have an 'in an ideal world i would like......' type birth plan but be prepared for the possibility things might not happen like that or you might not react how you think. Keep an open mind.

I had what some people would probably find quite a traumatic/labour birth but looking back I did 'enjoy' it (i know enjoy isn't exactly the word i want to use here but mushy pg brain is preventing me from thinking of a better one) and I'm looking forward to this labour/birth very much. Getting quite excited actually!

The people I know who had the 'worst' experiences are those that had their heart absolutely set on one particular scenario and for whatever reason it didn't go that way i.e really wanted a water birth or were dead set on having an epidural.

Champagne Thanks :) The number on my notes goes to an answermachine, though. Which I have always been disappointed about.

Julietee well the ones I spoke to definitely had no idea about RCOG guidelines

I hate making those kind of phone calls, of course it's nothing comparable to your anxiety, but I really had to build myself up to doing it. In the end I figured that I am going to spend the rest of my life advocating for this baby and trying my best to protect them and that's probably going to put me in a bunch of uncomfortable situations so I might as well start now.

I'd say if still no movement by this evening then do try your best to call. As champs says, it is their job, and while you and I will probably remember these calls for yonks they will have almost certainly forgotten within a day at the most.

Also the worst that can happen is you hang up.

julietee my friend has lent me a birth guide by Juju Sundin, who is an Aussie physiotherapist, and who recommends using sound to conquer pain, so maybe the women heard screaming were just doing this, and weren't in agony / lost control? This book basically recommends distraction techniques, like stamping, breathing, making noise and stuff (haven't finished it yet) which is the opposite of a lot of hypnobirthing, calm, serene ideals. I'm reading both, so I can chop and choose depending on what I need

I didn't make any noise really during labour which surprised me. I had a go at moaning at one point for the look of the thing but I found it was just more effort tbh.

The most helpful thing i found was actually a tip from my nct classes - it's a breathing technique where you'd breath in for four counts say, then breath out for five during contractions. I found concentrating on the counting helped me through each one.

Each to their own I guess...I also hated having a hot water bottle on my back and flung it across the ward rather dramatically. I think maybe read up on a few different ideas so you're going in with a 'toolkit' wanky bollocks jargon word from work and you'll soon figure out which ones help you and which don't!

i've got the Juju Sundin book too gnitting and am finding it interesting. Doing hypnobirthing too but like you I want to pick and choose whatever will work on the day.

Ugh I'm feeling shitty today. I've really been struggling with work - both physically being on my feet all day and having to police practicals and teach and circulate the room etc, been finding it exhausting and by the end of the day I just go home and try to eat a decent meal and go to sleep. On top of that I've got some really challenging classes, that normally I can copy with fine but being pregnant they are really stressing me out, which stresses me out more as every time i get annoyed I get scared its bad for the baby. All the extra pressure from management about observations and work scrutiny etc has just been the icing on the cake. Feel like i've just been using all my energy for work, and getting more and more run down. Anyway, I went to see the doctor today as I just don't feel like I can cope with all of it as it's exhausting me and stressing me out.

She was so bloody unsupportive and now I just feel shit. She started by just saying "well can you bring your maternity leave forward" - which I don't want to do. Why should I compromise time with baby when the problem is I am pregnant and can't deal with the added stresses work are lumping on us all. So she was like "you want signing off then" - which I guess yes I do - but it's been very hard to accept that I'm struggling so much at the moment. I've worked there 8 years and I don't want to let people down and have them look down on me because i'm struggling. Anyway, she has given me a doctors note and signed me off until Christmas with "stress at work".

I know that it's good that I can stay off and rest and try and get myself healthy - but now I feel really shit that she was so unsympathetic and wouldn't put a reason as anything pregnancy related down. I'm now really worried that work will hold this against me as an absence as it doesn't say pregnancy related on it. Champagne - as resident HR guru do you have any idea about this? The thought that work might use this against me is now making me even more bloody stressed out and i've just sat here crying since I saw the doctor.

Work are going to be so pissed off and I feel like a big failure for being signed off as i'm "stressed" - If i wasn't almost 30 weeks pregnant and exhausted I would be able to deal with the stress . Sorry for the mammoth rant ladies. I know I should just think "fuck it" and focus on the fact that I don't have to go back in and be stressed out again but I'm struggling not to just feel really anxious about it.

Maybe I need some cake!

MissKat I can totally hear where you're coming from. The doctor sounds pretty unhelpful to be honest - you're clearly a very competent employee who works really hard and gives them everything you've got, so it's totally normal that you're frustrated that in your current condition you can't rise to the challenges in the way you would have don previously. This is 100% pregnancy-related and I would also be really annoyed that the doctor didn't put something to this effect on the note. Do you think you could call the surgery, get a telephone consultation with her and explain that you would like it reworded as it's adding to your stresses?

So many people get signed off towards the end of pregnancy and I would have thought in your profession if must be quite common. I honestly don't know how you do it. I'm only managing because I've convinced them to let me 'work from home' (i.e. laze around at home mostly resting, doing a few chores and a little bit of work) 2 days a week and obviously you don't have the option to work from home in teaching so it's sort of all or nothing. I would be completely broken right now if I had to be on my feet for most of the day and dealing with challenging situations.

Be kind to yourself and don't feel bad - I'm sure your school will understand eventually.

missK what an unsympathetic doctor! At least you have a legitimate Drs letter to wave at work - I'm sure your colleagues will have seen you struggling and been amazed that you're still working. And don't feel like you're a failure - your body is telling you what it needs right now and if you worked yourself down into the ground you'd be feeling worse. Let your 8 years hard work at the school stand for you now and don't feel bad. And have some cake - the world looks better with tea and cake.

misskat you poor munchkin, lots of cake for you. Go and cheer yourself up by looking at the size of my enormous arse on Facebook.

From day one I decided if I could do it with zero pain then why bother with anything else so when I insisted the put me on the consultants ward from my 16wk appt she was a bit surprised! Since then however I have come round to the idea of pethedine and am now even toying with the water birth idea. Although I don't like baths. Don't worry, I do shower. I've never taken a naughty drug in my life and rarely drink so am quite excited about being on pethadine!!

I wrote a birth plan with dd and then pretty much ignored it! I was put on a drip after 15 hours of labour as wasn't progressing fast enough. They then advised me would break my waters at that point so everything would step up a lot so I might want to consider epidural. I immediately said yes as pethidine wasn't doing a lot to alleviate pains. My dh then said to me that I'd told him to remind me I didn't want to have ep unless totally needed at which point I told him to ignore what I'd said and had the ep!!! It was fine and 9 hours later dd arrived. The worst thing for me was the pethidine injection - I can still remember how painful it was!!!

misskatamari don't feel bad at all! I have no idea how you have coped on your feet for so long especially with the extra stress work are putting on you. And drs can just be up themselves sometimes, I'm glad you pushed for what you need.

I'm another with vein issues, had a drip last yr and the dr did it so badly I had bruises from my elbow to wrist for days. But that wasn't the uk am sure they'd be more competent here. I'm also in the natural birth camp and the idea of an w
epidural creeps me out no end. But I think what others have said above is true in that I keeping open mind to everything you wanted changing in birth is probably best advise. Maybe I'll be screaming for it.

And Julietee bean was so quiet a few days and I was worried she was sick with me or it was tje antibiotics but she is wriggling away today at 26+2. Guess there is still enough room to hide. But if you are really worried call mw and get them to get u in for monitoring, peace of mind is so important

See I'm a right little piss head really so last time was really looking forward to g&a as i'd heard it makes you feel drunk but was disappointed to find it made me feel really sick. Lots of people love it though &/or say it really helped them so i'll give it another go before going on to the 'harder' stuff but i'm managing my expectations a bit more this time.

misskat You're doctor sounds like a complete cockwomble. I'm not an expert but i don't think it matters if they've put the reason is pg related or not. She sounds unprofessional though....'so you want signing off then'...urgh, that's just awful. You could complain but if you think that would cause more stress it might be better to just try and ignore it and move on. Remember this is your time to be selfish and look after no 1 for a change - can be very difficult to do if you're not used to it.

Can you treat yourself to a pregnancy massage? I had one a few weeks ago when i was really anxious about something and I swear I could feel the tension leaving my body.