October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

this is what I did last time after having DS1. Hormones didn't feel right as long as I was BFing...

and exactly this shire! I felt much calmer and happier when I stopped using it. I swear it affected my mood and I didn't realise it until I went off it...

It was a friend who tipped me off to it after she'd had paranoia attacks while on it. I then asked some other friends and was shocked by the number of people who had been effected by it, or knew someone who had. I then Googled. The pills were thrown out that day.
As I say, it's all anecdotal, but I won't take it again.

I was on microgynon and hated it too definitely don't want it again. I'm thinking implant or injection but we'll see as I'm not keen on hormonal either but hate condoms and have heard bad things about painful coils.
natalie I cry most days and he's 12 days old.......

nat I have a little/sometimes not so little cry every evening so far due to still being completely overwhelmed by the love I feel for both baby and baby daddy! He thinks I'm crazy as I'm fine all day and then am a snivelling mess for a while each evening.

We will use condoms and ultimately I reckon we'll go back to the method we used before we decided to have Cyrus which was temp taking every morning, getting to know cycle and then using condoms for the wk before ov and then 3 days after. Would be terrified of this method until I felt completely back on top of cycle so it will be condoms all the time til then. Given that disturbed sleep can effect 1st temp in morn i cant see me managing for a while. i do not want an accident for at least 4 yrs, if ever!!Though I'd like to think I will eventually trust myself, it worked great for 2 yrs when I gave up with hormonal stuff as nothing suited.

dontworry big hugs. Baby cannot stay in much longer. I had what I thought was my worst nightmare when I was induced. But it was so much better than I expected. This day last wk I was on the antenatal ward just waiting for a bed on delivery suite to evict my misbehaving baby. The staff were really respectful of my natural style birth plan and helped me keep it that way despite monitors and drips( which I have the fear of... They kindly bandaged my arm so I didn't have to see it! )Labour was quick and I managed with just a little g and a at end. I was the worlds biggest sceptic of positive induction stories but I think in hindsight mine was quite positive. Try not to use up your precious energy stressing about the idea of it. You are so nearly there. Xxxx

Ladies I am thinking of buying Ewan the dream sheep today can those who have one recommend him or not?

Contraception wise I won't take any, I'm the same as a few ladies on here and don't like the thought of hormones in my body which aren't my own. My mum had breast cancer so it's always put me off taking hormonal contraception as her type of cancer was hormonal probably from years of taking the pill or hrt. Not to put the fear of god in anyone just explaining my reasons for not wanting to take the pill etc.

I hope midwife can give you a sweep tomorrow and get things started naturally dontworry I have to say Isla is a muh better sleeper and feeder than DS was and I do wonder if it was due to that extra week cooking. Heres hopong your just going to have a very chilled out baby xx

soup takeaway and fizz sounds great. think that may have to be the plan. just didnt want it to go by completely unnoticed.

I had the coil after having DS as is safe while breast feeding, I didnt have pain but I bled most days for about 3 months so had it removed and went on the evra patch instead which I loved.
Cant use that until after I stop breastfeeding though so I guess we'll be using condoms and being very very careful. no more babies for a while here!

natalie Im still teary too and like you very anxious for tomorrow but part of me is looking forward to trying to get back to a new normal. Just be kind to yourself. if DH gets home tomorrow and ive managed to get us all dressed,feed both children and myself and get us to the drs on time ill be happy. and surely it cabt be as bad as we think right? Good Luck will be thinking of everyone else alone tomorrow xx

nat - 2 weeks in and still crying daily here too!

Just feeling unsure of myself or worried about something that's happened or anxious about what I think is going to happen next.

Pretty sure my midwives are dying to label me with PND due to my previous mental health history but as someone who has been affected by depression and anxiety for over 10 years; I know this isn't depression - I'm just very emotional but after everything I've been through, it's perfectly normal.

flyer we have a Ewan. Only got it a few days ago and not sure it makes a massive difference but I am trying to put him on whenever I put A in her Moses basket in the hope that she will make associations between the sound and being asleep. He is very cute though and seems comforting.
I have 6 wk appointment with doc on Wednesday so will hopefully sort out contraception then. Haven't dtd yet - would love to but A has other ideas, I have no idea how we'll ever have time to do it again!

Nat not as much crying from me this week but still sometimes and just cried now saying goodbye to DH.

I was on mycrogynon for about 7 years but stopped when I discovered cysts on my cervix (not sure if related or not) and also lost a stone when I stopped. We will be going back to condoms as they worked well for us for 5 years, I don't fancy anything hormonal and want another baby reasonably soon.

I agree with whoever said they had huge respect for people doing this alone, it was my first night of being solely in charge and I am exhausted. Thomas kept straining and whimpering on his back and although we kept trying the Moses basket he only slept on me, I then keep waking panicking I have smothered/overheated him. He also is back to doing green poo again and had his first massive sick so all in all a long night!

Pink, my aims for the day don't even include getting dressed or going out, well done you. I am meeting nct friends on Wednesday but today my target is just to make sure we both eat. I think I will turn up the heating and do a lot of skin to skin.

to those SFW.

A screaming baby at 5am couldn't do anything to settle her. I went into YouTube and searched for white noise hoover and within 30 seconds she was fast asleep! I urge anyone to try it it's amazing untitled put it on the Facebook page....she's a life saver.

I have just downloaded a white noise app! Fingers crossed!

Thanks for the support ladies, so its almost 9.10am and were all dressed about to leave for the school run! Obviously Harrison decided he would cry the majority of the morning nd not drink his milk to hinder me efforts too be on time

I will third whoever said they take their hat off to single mums, at least we all have someone coming home to us at the end of the day

I don't no how u ladies with more than 2 do it, I will deffo not be having anymore dc

Thanks flyer - glad it worked for you too!

For those having trouble with inconsolable crying have a look at Dr Harvey Karp on YouTube. Works instantly to calm the baby down.

Morning everyone

Sorry your still waiting dontworry hopefully mw can give you a sweep to kick things off?

So pleased to hear feeding is improving flyer it's what you deserve after a rough time.

Well done nat it's so much easier when there's a little routine to get into isn't it. For example I used to get up at 7:30 to do school run at 8:30. I get up at 7:00 now and if ds isn't ready for feeding ill get dd washed, breakfast, uniform ironed, packed lunch done etc. it'll all fall into place.

IRT contraception... I was on microgynon late teens but was totally rubbish at taking it, resulting in dd! I then went on the injection. I found lack of periods appealing but I would suggest its not an option if you want to be preg in less than 3 years. I was on it for 8 months, it took 4 months to get my periods back to normal. Although I fell pg within the first normaL cycle that ended in mmc and tbh I blame the injection. I was considering the implant...?

So dh is on annual leave this week. However an incident at work before he left means he's actually been suspended for a month. Sounds like a bit of a stitch up and he's got full support from the union. His staff refused an order from higher up and since he was the manager on duty it's fallen to him and his colleague. So although I don't think it'll come to it we gave the prospect of dh losing his job.

Also feeding not going great. Isaac can feed on one for up to an hour and be frustrated so offer him other side, on that for twenty mins, still not content then takes 1-2 ounces of ebm. Plus it hurts with shields now (tried different sizes) and without. Even though the latch looks right and he's not making my nipple lipstick shaped. I just don't have the time/patience to get it right or sit for hours feeding him so atm I'm solely giving him ebm/formula and not putting him to the breast. I'm gutted but its making me miserable and I just don't think he enjoys it? Maybe he like the speed he gets it out a bottle I just don't know :-( I just can't satisfy him.

Oh and I can see he's frustrated as he thrashes his head about when he's latched on too

hAyle I was on the pill and took a year to convince dd and this time I had the implant in my arm which caused me no problems and conceived 3 months after having it removed. Xx

I hope ur dp manages too resolve the work issue xxx

I had Ewan for ds1. Worked well. Have to build the association with sleep.
Still to try it with lo. Every time I remember ds1 is asleep in his room so I can't go get it. As he is now!

Hayle I'm doing the same. We were so upset with his hungry crying yesterday and we tried topping up his breast feeds with formula and it's made a whole world of difference. Last night he slept from 11-3:30 then 4:30-8:00. The night before when I breast fed he was awake every hour from 11pm-6am, feeding for 20 mins then crying hysterically the rest of the time.

I breast fed him for 40 mins at 8am and topped up with 30ml of formula and he's been asleep ever since. I've managed to dress, eat breakfast, put make up on (shock) and watch an episode of Gogglebox. It's been amazing. We're even talking about leaving the house this afternoon.

I really, really want to be able to breastfeed, but when it's making me, DH and the baby distressed 24/7 I'm just wondering if it really is worth it.

I'm hoping because I'm still trying to breastfeed first that I can combine so he still gets the goodness but it only seems to be formula that fills him up.

I'm so glad it's not just me that is finding the feeding distressing, all my friends with babies said they have had the same issue and just couldn't continue with the breastfeeding in the end. It seems like it's the norm to have issues with fullness and being able to breastfeed successfully is very rare.

I had the implant in before ttc and will have another. will be at least 3 years till dc2 I think and I got on with it well. I like the idea of no hormones but not keen on copper coil and dp hates condoms (typical man but don't really want him to not enjoy it!)
glad people seem to be settling in more with their babies. We're definitely getting more used to everything. taking H down to my work today to see my collegues. I've really missed them so looking forward to catching up!

That's what in doing snitten although giving him formula only when I have none expressed. I can see why people give up quickly. It's tiring and bloody hard work. I'm not putting him to the breast because i just can't get it right. I don't want to be in pain.

I reached my six week "re-evaluation" point and that was my decision. I'll express what I can, when I can for now but will not be making myself miserable about it.

Morning all - we're goin to try to venture out to the scream club at the local cinema this afternoon. It's for babies of less than 12 months. Whether I'll actually get to watch the film is another matter!

I think I might have a blocked duct - I've got a little lump in my breast round towards my armpit. It felt like a marble in shape and size last night and I think it's a bit smaller this morning. Does that sound like a blocked duct? Any tips to clear it? I've been massaging it and I expressed from that side this morning to try to clear it.

mrsHN I had a blocked duct on Friday. Just keep emptying it fully and massaging. Mine went within the day. Also keeping your breast warm worked for me.

Good luck, it can be rather uncomfortable.

flyer we have Ewan. He works, but only when DS is already fairly settled, so if he's screaming his head off it won't do any good but if he's sleepy and we put him down awake in his basket with Ewan on it does tend to distract him long enough to drift off.
Re contraception. Not ready to dtd yet, still bleeding too much. That's been nearly 3 weeks, it's like the mother of all periods! When we do we will just use condoms as I think we'll have another dc within the next couple of years and don't want to use anything hormonal.