October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

MrsNH I used a dummy to give me a bit of a break earlier. Is it something you'd consider?

Thanks bowlfull and mrsH. My boobs never feel full, in fact they only feel remotely like they might have milk in them first thing in the morning, and A doesn't seem to struggle then, it's only in the evening that it becomes an issue for her. She's fussy (cluster feed style) every evening between about 9pm and 2am. This pulling off and crying with milk flying everywhere is a new addition to the evening fun!

MoN pleased to hear that Eliana is doing wel, but so sorry to hear about your friends LO, how heart breaking.

clapham thanks for sharing your story. I hope your back starts to feel better very soon.

xuntitledx pleased you've got something to help your LO feel better. Out of interest, how are they having you administer it then?

ready A is 4 weeks today and I have the exact same issue; 1 boob is painful to feed from. It's not excruciating, but it's almost like it's a bit tight and it tugs as she feeds, and A's tongue seems rougher on it too. Fingers crossed it will sort itself out! I also am feeling the overwhelming love. I almost feel guilty to say, but have to admit that it's been gradual though, not a sudden rush of love like people often get (I loved her right away, but not to the same extent I do now. I think that was down to the circumstances of my labour though).

smitten I hope you've been seen to now and that baby smitten is ok

GT a) I know your LO is 5 weeks old, whereas my A is only 4 weeks and b) I never had PGP, but I am still feeling very heavy and uncomfortable down around my lady bits at times, so I suppose that if that takes a while to repair then the effects of your PGP might take just as long/longer. though, I hope you feel better soon.

MrsH

MrsO weirdly enough I have just been googling colic symptoms. The past few nights A has been crying a lot, and normally I change her nappy/pop a boob in her wailing mouth and all is fine again, but she seems quite inconsolable. It's heartbreaking and tiring all at once.

ready just try to be mentally prepared for random days where hours go by and all your doing is feeding. Or, if your baby is anything like mine, be prepared for it every single evening...

I'm really starting to lose my mojo. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT Ailla cluster feeds. She feeds, cries, feeds, nappy change, cries, feeds etc etc. and now matter how often I trim/file her nails, they still seem to be like little razor blades as she puts a tight grip on my nipple during her random crying spurts. I love her to bits, but fucking hell this is tiring (for both of us).

MrsH I just read your post before posting this mammoth message, and I feel your pain! It's exhausting isn't it?

MrsHN hopefully he will settle with ur DH, he won't smell of milk!

Thanks, infacol ready for next feed! Still fussing now, it is so very very tiring! Dh asleep....

Roxvox, your lo sounds just like mine - ditto on the nails! He gets quite aggressive at times, like he's fighting with my boobs!

Hi All

Sorry for the lack of post I find it a bit hard to keep up with the board these days.

Congrats Clapham and well done for doing all those hours on G&A alone then you got your much wanted water birth

Mon glad to hear Eliana is doing well. However very sad news about the other baby

I also have one sore nipple...ouch it bloody kills.

My mum has been staying all week, I've loved having the extra help, first grandchild and she cannot get enough of her, she happily just nurses her when she's grizzly...she's gone back home this evening but is returning next week for a few more nights. It's great we've been shopping and I was able to go and have my hair done today feel a bit more human now.

So Alexandra is slowly gaining a little weight, though we are still being very closely monitored every 48-72 hours. The feeding is getting better, small steps in the right direction she is starting to learn finally. It is far from perfect though.

And one big positive about breast feeding is I've dropped 2 stone already still another 1 and 1/2 to go but I'm quite chuffed!

Love to all those SFW although I guess they are only a very few now, I do hope the final arrivals come very soon.

And 2 weeks post c section I'm back driving I couldn't hack not having the freedom of getting in my car and just popping out even to the supermarket. Again another step towards feeling a bit like my old self again

thanks everyone! I'm now joining you for the inevitable sore nipple / cluster feeding / extreme sleep deprivation chapter!

smitten poor you... I really feel for you - you gave birth only two days ago and now stuck in hospitals... you must be so exhausted. What did they decide about your LO at the end? Hope both of you are OK. Thinking of you

ready I second what everyone says - I've just done two days and my nipples are already very sore. And I know it will only get worse over the next few days... it's perfectly normal and the fact that you feel most pain at the beginning but it gets better as you feed is a sign that the latch is OK. The pain would be getting worse otherwise. Not pleasant but we will get through it

Sending hugs to everyone exhausted by cluster feeding... DS1 was a terrible cluster feeder and I can already see that this one will be similar. Evening are already tough and he wants boobs for hours... However, I think a lot of times they want the boob for comfort, not for feeding. I know it's controversial for some but as gt suggests dummies can save your sanity at some point... I tried to resist giving it to DS1 for as long as I could as I know it can interfere with BFing if given to early. I finally gave in when he was 3 and a half weeks and it changed my life... and BFing was well established by then. I'm planning to hold off for a month with this one as well but I have a feeling he will get them too eventually.

sorry to hear about unhelpful partners... mine has been amazing so far but we are only on day two. these things are really tested over time...

gt sorry your recovery seems to be so slow. must be so hard with two little ones

I have a feeling that I'm forgetting lots... hope everyone has a good night xxx

crosspost - glad you are feeling better flyer and Alexandra is learning to feed! fingers crossed the worst is over now. And your mum sounds so lovely

rox - they've given me a syringe to drip feed midway through feeding.

We've given two doses tonight and it seems to be doing the trick although skipping for the night feed as too much faffing at 2am making it up and giving it to him. Hopefully the earlier doses should still do the trick but lesson learned if not!

mrsh - cluster feeding is the worst so I'm feeling your pain!

clapham - yay!! So pleased for you!

Glad you are starting to feel more positive and that A is gaining weight flyer.

GT sorry you are still in pain. My pgp hasn't completely gone but did immediately improve after having Thomas. Maybe ask for a physio referral if still bad at 6 week check?

Rox that nipple pain/tugging sensation is exactly what I have on one side.

Hi ladies. I'm new to this post as don't seem to have had time since little one was born on 19th oct but sitting here in the dark feeding with sore nipples after a long night of endless cluster feeding I'm so glad to hear it's not just me!

I'm really looking forward to DD's first smile. I know it's a few weeks away yet but right now she looks upset most of the evening and night so it would be lovely to have some reassurance she doesn't think DP and I are the most awful people in the world!

Waves to tulip. I am sure I read that newborns can physically only stay awake for 90 minutes at a time... Our babies don't seem to have heard that! Really looking forward to the first non-windy smile too.

Orange this one managed to stay awake for hours last night, so he didn't get that memo either!

GT I don't mind a dummy but he's only 2.5 weeks and also I don't think he's feeding for comfort really, so I'm not sure it would help?

My LO won't take a dummy! We've tried to give him one after a few sleepless nights but he spits it out like its poison!

A has woken and demanded feeding every hour/ 90 minutes since 11pm. I am hoping it is the 6 wk growth spurt ( a few days early) and that in a couple of days she will be over it!
*MrsHN, maybe C is having the 3 wk growth spurt?
Congratulations Clapham and glad Eliana is doing so well MoN.

Ruby I think he must be. Feeding slightly calmer overnight and this morning. DH took him for a bit when he got home and then when I fed C at 1 he fed quickly and then went straight down. I wonder also if I was getting confused with wind because DH said he was quite windy when he had him. But then he was happy to go back on the breast and he will normally refuse if he's about to fart or poo and wait til he's finished that before eating.

I wonder what the weird tugging feeling is.

I don't have that, but have one nipple that's a bit misshapen. Half of it will get erect fine, but half stays pretty flat. She struggles to latch on to it, so rarely feeds well from that side. Not sure if I should use a nipple shield or something to make it easier for her.

shirehobbit

it may be that you can't express easily - but as others have said sometimes the baby can get it out more easily.

A few things I have done (it was a long time ago now but still remember the exhaustion and emotional turmoil):

1. fenugreek - stimulates milk production (also all other sweat glands so you can get a bit whiffy !)
2. expressing one breast while feeding on the other - stimulates let down (but you need to have six hands or lots of pillows !).
3. massage breasts while expressing.
4. alternating breasts when expressing - if I remember rightly it was about 20 mins total. Something like 1 min on each side, then 2 mins on each side, then 3 mins on each side, then 4 mins on each side. Don't try for long than that but do it again in say 2 hours times - sort of mimics what babies do.
5. expressing start with short shallow pumps repeated reasonably quickly, once the milk starts to flow do slower, deeper pumps - again mimics what the baby does.

And if it is all too much - give up and formula feed - it may not be what you wanted but there is so much more to being a mum than successfully breastfeeding.

FWIW - I had one 38 weeker who took a month to get breastfeeding, and fed until 12 months, and 35 week twins who never did feed directly (lack of time to persevere with toddler too), but expressed for 9 months (with a little bit of formula top ups).

Sephy both my nipples are almost completely flat. We have tried shields but neither Thomas or I got on very well with them. Pumping helps bring them out, as does wearing a nipple shell (stops them being squashed by my bra I think), or he can feed on them when they are flat if I shape my boob and shove his face on so he builds suction around the whole area. They are gradually standing out more and more as they get used to being used. It has caused us problems, especially combined with other feeding issues, but it is very possible.

I seem to have an entirely nocturnal baby. Sleeps all day and parties all night. DP is also nocturnal, but unfortunately he doesn't have boobs. I must start expressing to build up a stock for night feeds.

Clapham - we were in hospital for 12 hours yesterday. They let us home around midnight after we'd sat in a boiling hot ward with really ill children with infectious illnesses in there. I was petrified he might catch something.

We were meant to go back today at 10 for another test, but they said unless his levels had shot up overnight he would be well under the limit for treatment today as the line increases steeply every day. So I told DH we're not going as I'm not sitting on a ward for nothing again all day.
I've called a midwife who is going to arrange a retest when my milk has come in and he can flush his system better.

Anyway, I can join you all with boob issues, I was up all night trying to feed him but I haven't had any milk come in yet so he wasn't getting anything and was obviously starving. Come 8am he was hysterical and so was I. I've ruined my boobs trying to feed him all night so they are killing me. Mum just came over with formula for him but he wasn't interested.

Obviously the second help arrived he was good as gold and has been asleep since. Making the most of it while I can.

roxvox just read that you are feeling 'heavy' down below. Thought I'd post as I've got a similar sensation and think May have a prolapse. Got my 6 week check next Monday and am going to ask the gp about it. It's not a full on one but there's definitely something not right. Am getting the hab-it DVD to see if the excercises help.

mil has just told me that dp's cousin has had chicken pox this week. we spent all day sunday with him!! H doesn't have any signs of it so I won't worry for now, am more annoyed that dp's aunt didn't think to tell us after seeing us!!

thethreeblondies - re piles. I was prescribed anusol HC and lactulose and they are much better. Was incredibly sore to sit down before and now they've shrunk right down and I have no pain. It's different to the over the counter stuff. I think HC stands for hydrachortisone? Sp!
Might be worth a try?