October 2013: The Fourth Trimester - the bit no one warns you about!

[roxvox]

Stats sheet here

New arrivals here

Key:
SC - still cooking (pre EDD)
SFW - still f*ing waiting (post EDD)
OWT - on way to theatre (CS)
IP - induction in progress
SWIL - somewhere in labour
LIT - lost in transition

I can understand that bronze, things like Thomas' first teddy it was important to me that I buy myself, and in laws have been very generous helping with bouncer and pushchair but we made sure I chose the ones I wanted as it was part of the fun of preparing for a baby and if we were given the 'wrong' ones we would have felt we couldn't buy the ones we wanted and would be stuck with them. You can never have too many clothes though, think of it as less washing to do, but go and buy some nice things that you choose yourself.

Bronze- my Mum's been a bit like that. Most things I've liked but, put it this way, it's great that John Lewis take things back without a receipt!!
I didn't think she'd notice but we ended up sorting out T's wardrobe together and sure enough she spotted what was missing! Was quite forgiving tho when I admitted it wasn't quite to my taste. Wd your MIL take offence at that or wd she understand? Or maybe go shopping with you??

I second that infacol made baby sicky. H has only been sick twice in 5 weeks and that was usually through hiccups but he was really windy so started him on infacol and he started properly being sick. Took him off and he stopped - strange!

Little rant from me too: we are currently visiting my partners mum and her boyfriend in London. They both smoke but agreed to do it outside (they usually sit and smoke every evening in the livingroom) while baby is in the house. We went out to visit other family this evening and came back to a very smoking living room. I didn't realise and let baby go in with my dps mum. When I did I sent dp in to get him back and quickly changed his clothes and bathed him. We are now hiding upstairs with the window open! I'm probably super paranoid but I so don't want him inhaling smoke when he's so little, or ever really. I did smoke until I got my bfp so I do understand but would never near a baby and we're only here for 3 nights! Thankfully home tomorrow.

We are still doing 2 hourly feeds night and day (like clockwork!) of 3ozs - to those ff is this normal and is there anyway I can get him to take more in the hope he'll go longer between?

Thinking of those struggling with bf and poorly babies. I admire so many of you for persevering with bf in the face of so many issues

I am having problems adding redlips to Facebook! would anyone else mind having a go?

Emmo I would be furious and you are not being paranoid, the nhs advice is not to smoke or allow anyone to smoke near your baby and they didn't do what they promised. I have always felt very strongly about this though and embarrass my DH by not making an effort to hide my coughing and spluttering when people blow smoke in my face in the street. He thinks one day someone will hit me! I got even worse when pregnant and would hold my breath while walking past smokers as I didn't want any smoke in my baby's new lungs. Now that is probably paranoid!

We had a two hour nap at 5 and now my already confused body clock is out, I keep thinking it is tomorrow.

to those SFW as we tick into November. Your babies are clearly very happy where they are for now. A colleague of mine was due on Christmas Eve and has just had her baby prematurely weighing 4lb. We were such different sizes, it is strange to think our babies are only a fortnight apart now.

Re infacol, I think it is doing its job by making the wind come out as sick? It has done the same to Thomas but I think it makes him more comfortable. He doesn't seem to mind sicking up a little bit but doesn't like the trapped wind.

bronze its not selfish id feel the same and like others hVe said don't let it spoil the fun for u go and buy your own adorable outfits too :-)

emmo were ff too and going 3-4 hours sometimes longer at night so it could be worth trying the hungry baby milk unless little one will take more thn 3oz?

Love all the Halloween outfits on fb everyone xx

Dd's 3rd birthday tommorow I'm not sure who's more excited me or her lol

Oh and with regards to wind, infacol dsnt seem to help H very much but dentinox colic stuff seems to work bloody wonders and is the same price

Bugger Bugger Bugger, my dad was round last night had cuddle with Edward, he had been to hospital as they were worried about a potential artery problem in his head behind his eye, as he's been in pain with it and had been given a lot of steroids, however they couldn't find source of problem and today they have said it's most probably shingles! Have spoken to MW who says it would be really unlucky for Edward to get Chicken Pox but I'm a bit worried he's not even a week old, worth a trip to gp do u think? Although I need to take him Monday anyways to see if his testes have come down! Will also mention my awful piles anyone have any tips on those?!

On the sleep front I'll probably end up co sleeping but for the minute I'm trying to have him in moses basket, have found feeding him wrapped in his blanket makes the "hug and roll" manoeuvre easier as there's no change in temperature.

emmo I wouldn't even be staying in the house! I'm paranoid about it too and I'd be very very cross. Baby B is drinking about as much as yours, it'll settle down when they're a bit bigger.......?
Hope your friends baby is ok orange. 4lb is tiny. Would much rather have the uncomfortable last few weeks than a premie well done for perspective!
DH has been out and just got into bed......he smells of alcohol if he snores I shall be extremely angry

Those of you who suffered with SPD before birth, how are you feign how?
Although I'm alot better , it's not great hurts alot when I sleep on my side Which is a pain for co sleeping and feeding. Tried to do some exercises, but I only remember when it hurts, and then it's too painful to do them. Annoying really.

Oh FFS DH is really annoying me tonight. I have asked him a couple of times to help wind the baby so I can get some sleep before the night feeds - he basically makes nugget all effort and just sticks him under his mobile so baby screams to the point where he needs feeding to calm him down again. Counterproductive or what. I've just fed him again and went off to bed. Five minutes later DS is screaming and DH is shouting "just fucking shut up" at him and claiming to have "tried everything". For 5 minutes?!

Emmo with dd I was told that she couldn't fit more than few ounces and told to start on hungrier babies milk. Please remember those were the guidelines (19years ago)....would be possible to ask hv???
Xxxx

Does your dad have a rash threeblondies? If not then less likely contagious. You could ask gp on Monday if otherwise well??

The smoking in the house is not on at all emmo. Sometimes I think older people think what's all the fuss about?? They don't tend to believe the smoking related risks. This is your last night, I guess you'll know for next trip.

mrshn that would really piss me off. Maybe he needs to be told it can take ages and not yo put him down until he hears burps or farts?? Or you could show him some of the poses on YouTube? I don't think men are very patient when it comes to things like looking after babies (I know huge generalisation). I guess we've had patience training for 9/10 months in preparation.

Ok I'll stop rambling. Hope we all get some sleep xxx

Hopefully we ll have some more babies tomorrow??

Does anyone know if it's possible to only have a forceful letdown issue at night? A will feed fine all day, but then after 10pm she screams and comes off the breast, letting milk fly everywhere. She then frantically roots, but refuses to go back on to that breast (it's only the left one that she has issue with). I've googled it and we seem to have all of the symptoms of forceful letdown.

I love my girl, but I am getting really fed up of the feed/scream/burp/nappy change/clothing change (due to milk spillage) routine that we have every single night between 10pm and 2am ish. I'm too tired for this!

Emmo what milk are you using and what weight was baby?

SC2 was nearly 9lb at birth and we tried using SMA but had to change to aptimel as SMA wasn't satisfying him, feeding every 2 hours.

We have this baby on Cow & Gate and he goes between 3and 4 hours

We are on sma and feeding two hourly.......wonder if we should change. Did you do it gradually or just switch?

Having an emotional meltdown here; I'm feeling so scared about going into labour, dreading the possibility of another induction by drip, feeling very clingy towards DS but feel a million miles away from DH who (bless him) is trying so hard to be supportive & understanding. Can't stop bloody crying. I'm in a right state already & I'm not even trying to cope with the baby yet - just dont know how I'm going to manage. Keep wondering whether it was a mistake to have a 2nd baby which breaks my heart. Please somebody slap me or something

No slap from me dontworry bit sending a hug and a I think its totally normal to feel that way speech. I was a week overdue and everyday my anxiety grew for giving birth and for the thought that each day was my last with Ds. Now were nearly 3 weeks in and I have as good an relationship with DS as ever and Isla has just fit into the family not everyhig has changed. and with regards to labour I think thats very very normal but it will be fine, when are you due to be induced? there's still time for baby to decide to come. Have you told DH how your feeling?

3blondies my MIL got diagnosed shingles the day after meeting Isla, I called the dr and he said because Im breastfeeding and have already had chicken pox it would be very unlikely for her to get it. also it is the rash that is contagious and MIL didnt get that until the next day. Cant remember if you are bf but worth a call to dr if you were worried. they were very good when I called.and just told me to take her in if any concerns but weve been fine here.

Sorry DH is being an arse mrsH mine also doesnt seem to have very much patience will wind I for 5 monutes and then insist she needs feeding again not helpful. but he is excellent with DS and I remember him being the same with him as a newborn, I think it all changes when they start learning things but not really much help.atm xx

Isla has been put on infant gaviscon here, bit of a nightmare getting it into her as she just gags but were giving it a go.
Hope all babys had a good first Halloween. love all the photos on fb

Dontworry...sending hugs your way!!! I second what pink said, and please remember... those feelings are natural... Xxx

Pink.... Wd a syringe help with the infant gaviscon???

Thanks pink and chickie. The problem is that DH doesn't pay any attention to how C is - he lets him get hysterical and then says I've tried everything without thinking that he won't settle and maybe that's because he wants more food. DH seems to assume that C is being deliberately difficult.

Plus, he insists that C will settle better in the basket next to me when I've gone to bed early when in fact all that happens is he keeps me awake (and is my responsibility, rather than DH's).

Dontworry -

MrsHN - your DP reminds me of mine. Anyway, I see your story and I RAISE you this: last night I say to DP, go to bed, you're tired, I'll do the final bf and ff feed in the living room and creep in. I finish the feed, tiptoe into bedroom, put baby (awake but calm) in bednest, get up into bed with massive sigh of relief...and find the duvet and mattress are SOAKING. DP had found my full bottle of water on his bedside table and charmingly expelled it to my side of the bed (just thrown onto the duvet) with the sports lid still popped off. Wake DP and we change everything. Mattress so wet we have to put a bed mat upside down on the wet patch to stop it soaking through to me.

And all along he acts like he's doingme the hugest effing favour and gets angry when I ask him to apologise. I know it was an accident, but in reverse circumstances I'd definitely be like 'I'm sorry my poor sleep deprived wife for creating more work for you', rather than just biting her head off for not closing her water bottle.

Oh and snap there too! DP puts screaming baby into bednest beside me then effing GOeS TO SLEEP on on the other side, saying 'maybe he'll settle'.

(P.s. Sorry to those with greater issues. I know I'm being petty and rangy. But I am so so tired.)

The first week after H was born dh was absolutely beyond amazing but were having simular issues here now too, yesterday I was tired and crying just about general crap and altho I will add he does one of the two night feeds when he isn't working the following day he suggested I have an early night I said oh I can't I've got to feed him at 10-11pm (bare in mind were ff) instead of saying don't worry I'll feed him he just said ok!?!? Yes I could have said 'unless ubfo the bedtime feed' but then should I really have too?

Grr men

Emmo re two hour feeds. What makes your baby stop after 3oz?
Is he asleep? Is that's all that's offered?
Before switching formula I would try increase to 4oz. At 3oz if he stops burp him then try give him more. Twist the bottle while its in his mouth, for some reason this used to work with ds1. Keep him cool so not sleepy.
Used to take ages with DS but we had to get every drop into him or he would be hungry quickly. We were advised against hungry baby but to increase quantity.

GT I'm 2 Weeks post delivery and spd is now nearly gone. I was a but worried in the first week as was still really painful and I think I expected it to go as soon as I'd delivered. However, this week has been a massive improvement and I think a few gentle walks have helped. Hope yours is also settling down.