February 2014. The cake mix is in the mug, the microwave is on, it's slowly rising and we'll be pinging in three more months!

[Shropshiremummy2B]

Sadly my cake mix is rising too much and resulting in a serious muffin top.

After 4 years of NO trick or treaters I have been inundated tonight but had to hide behind the sofas as I didn't have anything to give them :(

lovesto my ds was quite placid/still in utero but screamed his demands at me from the minute he was born. He has no patience. He is otherwise a very textbook child in development/feeding/sleeping and on the whole is a very "good" boy (very few tantrums unless tired etc...) just bloody demanding oh and can't sit still but he is a toddler? This baby is VERY active in utero..... I don't know what to expect?

DS is totally not the child I thought me an dh would have as we are quite chilled people!

Mmmmmm MissKat I could just fancy apple pie yum!

Cubano I am about 10mins from you then... I'm amazed as I always assume that everyone on these threads are miles away

I have had such sore legs today... went to the metrocentre last night for the £12 boots points thingy and can only assume its down to that? I only walked from carpark to Boots and back again though it's £17 on 13th Nov can't decide if thats worth the pain

at you hiding Petty

Cubano sorry for worrying you. As I said, it's the first time I've ever been hurt by a midwife feeling the position of a baby. She was just so rough. She grabbed the baby's head and wiggled it 'can you feel that?' 'Erm YES!!!'

Cubano and Poop, we are opposite direction in Whitley Bay. I probably couldn't have grown up much further away on the Sussex Coast! I think Bear(?) is in Blyth...

DH just told me I have midwife appt tomorrow! I thought it was next Friday. I'm glad he looks at the calendar.

I've had no trick or treaters tonight, and have loads of fun size chocolate bars to get through myself! Nightmare

My baby has been very active the past few days - I can't actually remember if he's more active than DD was at this stage. I wonder if it's about sugar as I probably have too much of it and maybe it makes baby more wiggly!

It's DD's 3rd birthday on Monday and we have a family party and visitors this weekend so I will try to catch up on all of your news from the weekend next week. I'm really looking forward to it and DD knows what's going on and is so excited. She'll have tons of pressies and attention and I've even ordered her a posh elephant cake from M&S

Baby is jumping about again, I think he's saying hi to all of your babies

littlepanda party sounds nice :D you must post a picture of the elephant cake!

I am so angry with work.

My boss has now told me that I should work over Xmas and New year because we're busy, and he won't authorise me stopping working on 20th December. This after he has also said I can't carry over more than 10 days leave.

I've also been trying to find someone to take over keep in touch duties for someone I've been doing it for, whilst I'm on maternity leave. Her previous manager has moved on, hr refuse to help and the new team leader won't take it on. It's made me really angry about how they treat people on maternity leave, as if they don't give a damn.

Thank god I'm working from home as I'm having a proper melt down over it!

Eeyore that's ridiculous! I'd be fuming too.

I'm sure champs (and others) will be around later with some actual knowledge, but am sure I remember someone on here saying the day you start mat leave doesn't need to be authorised - that you inform them and they have to live with it. I might be making this up too, but if you haven't already taken your 20 days statutory holiday you'd also need to take those before you finish?

sorry to hear that EyoreIsh, so disappointing.

That's appalling Eeyore - I'm pretty sure they can't do that! As others have said you are entitled to your holidays and you tell them when you are starting maternity leave - they don't get a say! You must be bloody fuming!

If you're only allowed to carry per ten days leave then you should get to take the rest before may leave as well too.

Sorry typos carry over and maternity leave!

Thanks all. I've moved on from raging to tears, bloody pregnancy hormones! I just find it so annoying that I work bloody hard and have given so much, and at the moment I'm travelling in and then onto Brussels etc despite being in pain, and work just won't give an inch back.

I'm screwed on the leave really. We are lucky and get 30 days a year, but we're too busy to take them. And as my leave year runs from end August to end August, most of my leave is taken at the end of the leave year. I'm back in the office on Monday so I'll put my foot down with my boss then and see if that works.

Just been to see the gp about my rib pain, and he said he'd be happy to sign me off of it got too much. I resisted the temptation to say it already bloody is. So now DH is annoyed that I'm in a right state and didn't get signed off! But if I get signed off all that will happen is the work will fall on my team and I'll have to pick everything up when I get back anyway.

I really appreciate the support

I'm off to eat cake now. That makes everything better, right

Eeyore you have my sympathies and once you've calmed down I would suggest phoning ACAS for their advice. Putting the annual leave situation to one side, I really don't think that your work have a choice in when you choose to stop work for ML. It's your choice as the pregnant mother - you just have to give them the required notice.

As for the annual leave carry over business, how is it fair that you can only carry 10 days over into 2014 yet physically haven't got the opportunity to take it between now and ML? At the very least I think you should be paid the equivalent of the leave entitlement but that's little help when it sounds like you need the time off.

Hopefully our resident HR guru will be along shortly to give you some better advice.

In the meantime, eat and maybe even have a sneak glass of later on. Sending hugs x

Cake makes everything a bit better

It's a tough situation knowing there are things to be done and nobody else to do them - hope you manage to resolve it when you have your showdown with the boss on monday. If you add in the gp offering to sign you off that might give him (or her?) a kick up the backside and realise that he's got to manage without you for up to a year and can't do anything about it.

Well the good news is that after cake I calmed down enough to talk to hr. I tracked down a nice sensible lady and she has spoken sense (and with authority) on what to do about the person I was responsible for keeping in touch with. So that's one of my problems resolved satisfactorily!

I'll tackle boss on leave on Monday. He's just being an inflexible idiot. He's totally not grasped that he'll have to do without me, he's not even started to sort out a replacement!

Blargh -.- I am so tired of dealing with my mum, she just phoned me to have a go about my spd pillow being delivered to their door, meaning she has to walk down the stairs to open the door to get it (she's not very mobile, so I understand that it's a problem, but I didn't order parcel there intentionally) . I really don't know how to deal with her once the baby comes, and when trying to get advice on the family thingy forum here, I just get the "cut contact" response, which is not an option! She's been pretty abusive to me in the past, and since moving back close to my family, it's all started again. Issue is that she's now terminally ill with cancer, and we've got no idea how long she has left. I feel insanely guilty for not getting along with her when she's so ill, but she's so horrible at times that I can't really cope with it, and it starting again sent me in to the worst depression in 10 years.
Please does anyone have some advice to how I can deal with her? I have a great relationship with my dad, and my little sister still lives at home, and I have to help out a lot as well. Just worry me when little one comes along :(
Sorry for the wall of text, I can't ask anyone irl as they all know her and like her.

Eeyore, I can only go on my company when I went on mat leave with ds.

My company would only let me take the holiday I had accrued by my mat leave date before I went on mat leave. Their feeling was that I could resign in that time and end up owing them money. They had no say on when I went on ml and were happy to tack the holiday onto the start of that as it caused less inconvenience. we had strict periods we could take holiday in

With regards the rest of that year's holiday, you cant take holiday while on ml despite accruing it, so they had no option but to roll mine over to the following year to either be taken along with the amount I had already accrued for that year, or pay it all to me.

I knew I wasn't going back but played the system as long as I could to get the maximum holiday pay at the end. I think they ended up paying me a month and a halfs wages.

The cab website has some useful info but I would also talk to acas.

Just come on here to offload. This is what I've had to smile through today:
"Omg, really? Not until February? You are huuuuugggge!"
"You are enormous! Your belly is massive. Well, this is your third, everything is probably stretched out."
Not sure how I was supposed to respond to that but I seem to be a bit sad about it. Doesn't help that DP is no longer interested either. I can tell because he keeps trotting out the "well, you're still beautiful". STILL beautiful though? Like, despite being a giant heffer I'm STILL beautiful? I daren't ask so I'll ignore it.

The thing is, my boss is sticking to the legal position, but also not letting me take leave other than one week already agreed immediately before I start ML. So I'll have half a year (15 days) and the ten days to carry over. If I finish work when I want (20 Dec) and use annual leave until 38 weeks, then there's no problem. But if he doesn't allow me the extra time then I'll lose extra days, as I have carry over from last year I was too busy to use. All v confusing, but basically what he's doing is legal but unnecessarily inflexible. He's had ages to get a replacement lined up, and my costs come from central funding whilst I'm away so it doesn't make a difference to his staff costs.

I'm going to try talking to him again on Monday. failing that, given I want to stop work early is because the commute is really challenging with the rib pain, then I'll get the doc to sign me off when it gets unbearable, start ML at 36 weeks and make do with the carried over leave I'm allowed.

littleen sorry you're having such a tough time with your mum. It must be a really difficult position to be in.

my post below doesn't make sense until I say that I've 36.5 days leave because I was unable to take much last year because of work pressure!

eeyorish glad that cake solved some of the issues... your boss sounds extremely unreasonable though and I wonder if there is someone else who cam talk to him or overrule him on this? If not tjen one option could be to get signed off from tje dr from dec 20th and work would have to pay yoir AL? Would that be possible?

Littleen I also have v challenging relationship with my mum altho she is not abusive seeing her always stresses me out and sends me into deep pit. My theory is tho that ultimately she.is my mother and I should maintain a relationship with her, but on my terms. I think cutting off is too jarsh, esp if your mum is ill, but set the relationship on your terms and don't feel preasured by it or to see her. Talk to your dad amd sister about it and see if they can help act as a buffer as well.