Graduated Elderberries - Thread 8

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting/just given birth to their first little bundle of joy.

Thread 8 already!!

I think Viki might have a slight cold as well, was coughing a little and making funny snoring noises. He also decided it's totally reasonable to be awake between 4-6AM

I'm never really sure how to dress him - worried about overheating and I know it's fine if their hands are cool, but last night when he woke up, his hands were properly icy, that's a bit much, no? And our house is warm and he was wearing a light pyjama under his grobag.

Hazle by pyjama do you mean a babygrow? I normally have her in a long sleeve one without a vest underneath then the bag on top. I have also bought gro suits for colder days. They are long sleeve with thicker sleeves. I paid 21 quid for 4 of them on eBay -sorry don't know how to do links! And they are lovely and soft. Might be worth a go?

Actually ladies have two random questions:

• how many nappies do you go though a day and do you change tout babies during the night?

• has anyone heard of the "no cry sleep solution book" and "nap solution"? I have read some good reviews and am thinking of buying the nap one at least. It's just over a fiver on kindle.

oh thanks, have just ordered a couple of those gro-suits. That should do the trick.

Hm I don't know how many nappies we go through, haven't paid attention. I don't change him during the night (unless he poops, but usually he doesn't). If I only feed him he usually falls back asleep after that, but a nappy change wakes him up and Pampers claims to keep babies dry for 12 hours.

currently about 3 perhaps 4 during the day, I also only change him at night if he poos. Usually its just wind and wee.

He only woke up between 4-6 last night for a long old feed, just one wake up at 5 days old! What the hell. He is still asleep now. I'm awake as he is farting like a trouper.

We got bought so many nappies, used pampers at the hosp, ran out amd tried huggies (I think they are huggies) they leaked up his back every time!! No good huh. Anyone else tried any good cheap brands? I've heard asda and tescos own brands are good?

Currently Harvey sleeps in a vest and a sleepsuit with rolled up blankets either side to stop him getting too frisky in his sleep and 2 blankets over him. Basically didnt want to change from what worked in the hospital.

janey quick question, did u wear knickers over or below your section cut? Curently mine are below bit my friend said she wore ones over (spanx/sloggi type) and that it helped get rid of the oh so attractiveoverhang. Also did u find that the sticky from the initial dressing was like superglue? I cant get mine off and it bothers me a bit as it looks like ive not washed it properly.

I bought massvs granny pants that went up to my belly button as didn't want anything to irritate the scar. Kind of miss those massive beauties, comfiest pants I've ever worn. I didn't wear a girdle thing but thankfully don't have an overhang or c section "apron" - god knows how I avoided it, but my scar is VERY low and very neat, which I think helped?

I didn't have a dressing at all, they just put a glue type thing all over it to stop infection getting into it. It took about ten days for all that to come off and it looked a bit skanky with dried blood under it and bruising all around

Is it still very sore or getting better? Are you still having to inject yourself every day? I sodding hated doing that!

Oh and I only change at night in case of poo.

Let's not talk about poo today though as we've had a poi disaster here today, involving me having to wash it off my engagement ring, scrub the carpet, and finding some on top of my foot half an hour later Why he has to save it up for days on end then do a ginormous one I will never know!

We had a projectile vomit incident this morning, so not only had I change his clothes, but mine as well. Oh the glamour. Of course had to feed him then again as well.
Good my working hours are flexible enough, I have no idea how I would manage otherwise - there's always something just when I'm about to leave.

Might get myself some big granny numbers then janey, as I have a bit of an apron going on at the mo. Its not so sore now, must be healing ok. Mine is really neat too, just in the natural skin fold, I had to shower and take off the dressing the morning after the section, scary times. I just dont want to end up keeping this attractive overhang!

Feeling for you all with the vomit and poo dramas. Have to say that finding poo on you an hour later did make me laugh though. Sorry.

Weighed myself this morning, I'm 1.5 stone heavier than before, I'm going to say best part of the .5 is boobs and milk so a stone gain isn't too bad is it?

Oh and yes to the injection, thankfully my MiL is a nurse and she offered to do it for me which is handy. One less thing to think about. It's not the nicest is it, last one today though....yay!

I use Tesco own brand and had Asda own brand before. Both have been great, tho I get far fewer leaks with the Tesco one, but that might be due to going up a size.

I change H maybe 3 times in the day, mainly after number twos. I very rarely change him at night unless it's a 7 am situation or he's resisting going back down and wide awake.

He only seems to poo when he's awake so haven't needed poo-induced night changes since he cracked the day-night difference c. 4weeks.

My dad is a bloody nightmare! I phoned them this morning for a chat as I felt bad, my dad keeps bugging me and I'm not being as tolerant as usual. He asked if he could come today and check his emails (they dont have a computor). I agreed but said I would call once the midwife had been to check Harvey. Instead, as the midwife leaves, I have my boob out ready to feed and he just walks in the front door!!! I specifically said I would call when she had left to say it was ok to come over! I dont know how much clearer I can make it for him??

It's like I'm not safe in my own home. I honestly dont know what else I can say to make it clearer for him.

Of course I'm happy for them to see Harvey as much as they want but a heads up before they turn up would be nice. Just a simple text or phone call to say 'can we pop round at so an so time', is that too much to ask?

The way they are at the moment I just find myself annoyed at them for one thing or another. Its driving me mad!

On a happier note, although Harveys weight dropped from 7lb 8oz to 6lb 15.5oz at day 3, it is now back to 7lb 7oz at day 6. So he is feeding well, plus the amount of time he is sleeping at night is fine.

They moaned about me using the nipple shield though, seriously I dont get the issue. Either I use it and he feeds or I dont and he refuses? Surely its a simple choice? She said it impeeds flow, well surely he is coping if he regained his birth weight almost in 3 days! They have to make everything an issue dont they!

Great news about the weight gain for Harvey... bloody interfering about the nipple shield would have made me cross

Cheers merk. Normally I would have got mad too, currently I just question myself and beat myself up even though I know I am doing the best I can. I know I'm being so stupid as Harvey seems to be thriving at the moment from what I can see, nobody (midwife/doc wise) says anything nice though they all seem to second guess and do me down....grrr the rudeness!

You're clearly doing an amazing job. They should be telling you that but as they're crap at their jobs they are not giving you the reassurance and support you need

I've never used nipple shields Mother so I have no idea what they might potentially do to supply (if anything), but I thought HCP's judge how well you're doing by baby's weight gain, so in your case they should think you're doing great!

Lol we probably do 4-6 nappy changes per day now. It used to be much more as she pooped about 3 times a day until she was 8 weeks, but then dropped to one every 4/5 days so we get through much fewer nappies now. No nappy changes at night unless she has pooped, which has only ever happened about 3 times.
I have heard of the NCSS but haven't actually read it. If you Google people's thoughts on it they seem to think it advises a strict routine and gradual retreat to get babies to self-soothe so not exactly groundbreaking stuff.

Hazle Elodie also quite often thinks it's ok to wake up for 2 hours in the night. Despite all our efforts absolutely nothing will get her back to sleep until 2 hours have passed. It's not every night and I think it might be linked to what time she goes to bed. If we are late getting her to bed and/or hasn't napped well during the day she generally seems to have a worse night, which is a bit shit as obviously life gets in the way of her needing to nap and go to bed at certain times but we then pay the price for it that night.

Cheers cav, merk, she originally calculated that he had lost weight again as she was working from his birth weight and was telling me nipple shields were bad, that we needed to wake him in the night to feed, that she would be back tomorrow to check him again etc. Then she realised she had made a mistake and recalculated from his day 3 weight and basically said oh don't worry he had actually gained loads and was almost back to his birth weight so must be coping with the nipple shields ok. So many mixed messages.
Left me feeling a bit confused and a bit shit. Think I just need to man up, didnt help that I was still processing what she'd said and my dad strolls in and catches me getting my boob ready to feed. The whole thing just bugged me.

Your dad needs a good talking to!
We will all stick two fingers up at the HV on your behalf mother x

Moan alert...

I am so bloody tired. And after all our hard work getting him to self settle etc, we seem to be getting into worse habits than ever.

During the day he's ok when we are at home. I can put him down awake, with or without a dummy, and he will happily lie there until he falls asleep. Same if he wakes for his dream feed at 10pm or so. But over the last few days, he won't self settle in the early hours, and will only sleep in bed next to me. I know this is a really bad habit but am so tired!

So last night he woke at 2.30am having done a poo (massively unusual, think it must be related to his cold or teething) and refused to go back down in his own bed. I'm knackered so let him fall asleep next to me. But every single time I put him back in his cot he woke within 15 mins and we had to start the process again. We did this on repeat until 5.30am, at which point I gave up and left him in bed with me.

Any ideas anyone?! I don't want to cosleep, and I don't want many more nights like last night as I don't want him to be reliant on being next to me to get to sleep. Or am I being harsh? Could it be because of his cold or teething do you think? I wondered if it's because our bed is much more comfortable, but think it can't be that as he will happily sleep in his cot for the first part of the night...

Happens to us sometimes and I have just left him in our bed then - better than staying awake. As it's quite a rare event and he's usually fine in his bed, I don't think I've done any permamet damage by this.

I wouldn't mind on the odd occasion, it's just because it's been every night for the last few nights I'm worried about forming a habit.

Maybe I'm being too strict on the poor lad but I've seen too many friends and family with much older babies having problems getting them into their own beds (at 2 or 3 years old!) so really want to avoid it...

Janey we have just been through this and FX are coming out the other side of it now. We kept with the bedtime routine and just went to bed earlier to accommodate the millions of night wakings. After night feeds I would put Elodie down either asleep or very drowsy (she just can't stay awake during night feeds) and she would wake back up 10 minutes later, so I started standing next to the cot until 10 minutes had passed and the very second she stirs I gently stroke her nose which seems to soothe her enough to stop her waking up. It's not ideal but I figured it was better than the alternative of having to start again with resettling her.

I have posted this loads of times, but reading this blog really helped me get through it. It altered my mindset from thinking I was doing something wrong to have caused the disruption and was getting into bad habits, to just accepting the situation and knowing it won't last forever. The blogger describes her baby doing exactly as you describe Miles doing and then goes on to say her baby just went back to normal afterwards. The only problem is that once this 4 month regression is over, we have others to look forward to at 9 and 12 months.

I know what you're talking about, my cousin would still wake up and wander into his parents bed every night when he was 10!
Maybe it is because of his cold and he will sleep in his cot again once he gets over it?
I'm probably making a rod for my own back, but at the moment I'll just go with whatever works.

Ok, hopefully I'm worrying unnecessarily. I don't sleep so well with him in the bed (I'm usually a deep sleeper so worry about squishing him) so selfishly I'd prefer him to be in the cot, but I guess light sleep is better than no sleep!

I guess I hoped we'd be through this by now. We've had five weeks if his sleep being crap now, overnight it went from one feed at 4.30am on the dot to 5 or 6 wakings each night, and no sign of things getting better. Still, as they say, this too will pass, and in the meantime I'm going to get DP to take a turn one night over the weekend before I'm sick with jealousy about how much sleep he's getting