Graduated Elderberries - Thread 8

[Cavort]

The over 30's expecting/just given birth to their first little bundle of joy.

Thread 8 already!!

Thanks, I'm ok, we're not speaking to each other, it's nice and peaceful

Oh purple that sucks. I think the suggestion of some time on your own is a good one. There's nothing like a newborn to put you both under enough stress (and tiredness!) to really show up any cracks in your relationship hey.

If it's any consolation I remember my brother saying that him and his wife really struggled through the first year after their DS... But are still going strong seven years later :)

Oh Purple as if you need this added stress on top of having a baby to look after. Rather than some time apart I wonder if maybe the opposite would help? You say he's always at work so maybe if he took some time off to for you all to spend some quality time together? Or failing that maybe you can bludgeon him to death and hide the body in the loft conversion?

I like Cavort's suggestions...both of them we're going to try to go away for a weekend to actually spend some time together. If not, he's going under the patio

Purple I think some men take a lot if time to get used to having a baby around and resent the lack of attention coming their way.
My dh has been like that and we have argued more than ever before. I did go away for 9 days and left him here to enjoy a baby free existence. 2 days in and he texted me saying he missed his family. So for us it was great.
We are still disagreeing on things, the main problem is that he wants her in the nursery and I don't - but last night we did things together and had a great stress free evening even though she only went down at 8.
Hope the weekend away works for you. The patio is also a great idea

purple sorry your having a rough time. Loved cavort's loft conversion solution Also think maybe doing something nice together as a family might be a good idea, a weekend together like you say.

Meeting my NCT girls for lunch today. Am winding down at work with one day to go.

Does anyone know any companies that do custom made mattresses? I need to buy one that's an unusual size. Found one online so am looking into it. We're all sorted except for mattresses!

Bed mattresses or cot mattresses?

One is for a sleepyhead pillow (which is like a mini cushioned cot insert) and one is for a crib

Where is mother???????????

Mother is......In the bath

Just got back from the hosp. Loooong day. Turns out all the contractions I'm having are having no effect on my body. Only 0.5 dilated and bubs is 1/5 engaged. Midwife was worried as his heartrate dropped twice when she checked it. Cue 45 min journey for monitoring, turns out his heartrate drops a bit when I have a pointless/useless an now bloody painful contraction.

I'm feeling rather deflated as I was dealing with the pain thinking I was getting somewhere when actually it is pain for no reason.

The contractions have ramped up again, now they start as period type cramps and then spread to my back and even my lady bits. Is this evil non labour payback for an easy pregnancy?!?

Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do to speed things up? Seeing MW next Thursday for another check and sweep.

Mother have you looked at the spinning babies website? Maybe they will have some suggestions for getting baby engaged...

Hi quod, I spoke to my midwife and she doesn't understand it, she said with all the walking, ball bouncing and yoga I've been doing he should be engaged. She actually said its a bit unfair as some peoples babies engage really easily with no effort and I've been trying really hard and nothing. She said shes not known a woman 9 months pregnant walk 7km on her own before.....ooops.

I am well impressed that you can do that! Walking 15 mins to the shops makes me ache at the moment if baby is in the wrong position!

Mother I found that walking up hills as fast as I could got my contractions closer together. After 4 days of irregular contractions I was practically jogging up the steepest hills I could find at 1am with DH and the dog, which managed to get contractions to 1 minute long and 5 minutes apart. Got to MAU and I was still only 2cm and they said come back when they were 3 minutes apart. Ah, the fun we had....

God cav you tried everything!! Respect!

These are getting so bad now I actually feel sick

Contractions now about 50 seconds long and 5-6 mins apart. I know not to read too much into them after today as I know I'm not dilated enough but god I'm in pain right now. Sucks big time! At least I'm back at the hosp at 11.30am, might ask them to check dilation/engagement again then? Surely these have to be doing something????

for you Mother. Hope things get moving soon for you.

Thanks purple. FX they bugger off and let me get some sleep tonight, I feel like crap

On the plus side I am no longer feeling hot.....every cloud and all that.

Definite progress Mother, even if it is slow. And don't forget what I said about Co-codamol. Be firm if they don't seem keen to give you any, it could make the difference between you being able to sleep or not.

Yes I did try everything. Fingers crossed you aren't at it as long as I was, but if you are I guarantee over the next few days you will try jogging up a hill.

Haha, I bet I will cav. If I don't go mad first, my OH doesn't understand how they can just leave me in so much pain with no real end in sight....when he puts it like that its a terrifying prospect!

Was Elodie engaged? Did they ever explain why your latent phase was epic?

She was 3/5ths engaged but never any more until birth. My latent phase seemed to go on forever to me, but I think 5 days is still well within the realms of what is considered to be normal unfortunately. And there's not a fat lot you can do about it other than just wait it out.

Good news here.... in the last week Elodie has moved her first night feed earlier each successive night. This time last week her first wake up was around 4am and now we are at 12.30am and I am yet again knackered.

Well it appears I've been hit by the beginning of sleep regression and/or 4th leap
Yesterday I had non stop crying from 7-9 and ended up in tears myself thinking I'm running out of milk.
Now she woke up for a feed at 4:30 and will only sleep on my lap. When I put her down she wakes up and cries. How do you all keep sane through this???? Argh

Oh mother how frustrating for you. Really hope things start moving quickly - very excited about the next berry coming, but bet it feels like a million miles away to you...

Cavort / lol - I feel your pain. I just keep thinking wistfully back to the days he would wake just once for a feed. This has been going on for about a month now I think However, he's not quite as bad as he was so hopefully there's light around the corner for you both too. It's still not great (yawn) but last night he woke to feed at 3am, a moan at 5am then again at 6.15am for the day. Not great, but not disastrous. Cavort - a week or two ago his first feed was at around 1am but has gradually been getting later over the last few days. Hopefully Elodie will soon do the same.

Lol H's sleep is all over the shop at the moment - some days he won't sleep unless I hold him and those days I make a deal with him that as long as he gets a long sleep at some point in the day, I'll feel less bad about putting him down during shorter naps (that he may/may not wake up from immediately).

His bedtime has crept later this week - was back to 10 again last night - but at least he didn't wake til 420 then 730.

Come on BabyMother - how are you doing this morningMother? I know keep saying that half a centimetre is no progress but to get this far, it's had to go soft and thin out from a few centimetres thick so the contractions are doing something (although I know you wish it was more).

Is he in a funny position? That could explain the lack of engagement and the level of pain ... clearly not a midwife so ignore

Either way if you're struggling with the pain do ask for more help than they're giving at the moment. Fingers crossed for you...

mother just catching up on your news, must be tough being in pain, am keeping everything crossed it starts progressing soon! Sounds like you're trying lots of activity - I thought it was the opposite (because I've been hypnotised by my hypnobirthing CDs!) and relaxing was good for bringing on labour but sound like you're doing that as well with the baths. Good luck and hope it all gets going before you even get to the sweep next week. So unfair it can go on that long, I had no idea!