Oh my lovely, lovely friends, I'm so sorry I've 'gone dark'. The baby is fine - perfect in every way - and no, we still don't know the sex. I'm sorry you've been worried but boy! what a fucker of a day. As soon as I posted to you this morning the internet crashed. I left for the scan and on my return it was still down. I screamed down the phone at Sky and they sent an engineer right away. He was still working on the fucker when I left to catch a train to stay with my mum for a couple of days. The train stopped suddenly in Black burn and some chap came along to tell us that someone had killed themselves down the line at Bamber Bridge 
We had to get off and wait for 'up to 2 hours' for a courtesy bus to take us to Preston. 'Fuck that', thought I, so I got a taxi from Blackburn to Chorley. And here I am. I'm sorry you were worried but there was no way of contacting you all (yes, I know I need a smartphone thingy).
Can I explain about th'usband's van situation? Because of the scan time (8.30am) his slag of a boss demanded that he go into work at 7.30 to slog for 45 minutes. He then had to drive from work to the hospital which, although on my bus route, he would be sacked if I am ever spotted riding along with him. Works vans are not insured for pleasure or for any other passengers and he is repeatedly told he will be sacked if he contravenes this rule. So, no; I won't be kicking him in the testicles. He is a good boy and we would rather he kept his job 
I can't stop thinking about the suicide jumper. I've stood on a railway bridge at the height of my illness wishing for the strength to jump. I hope he is at peace. Poor, poor soul
I will now go back and read...