MARTIANS 2014 - Thread 9: Heartbeats, hormones and more Gregg's pasties than you can shake a stick at!

[rescoonetwothree]

Old thread!

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Welcome Martians!

Because he couldn't be arsed driving into town! Knobend. I seriously better pass my driving test or I will go mental!

I've been meaning to ask, do any of you lovely ladies have chickens? :)

Took a box of coco pops to work to deal with sweet tooth. I finished it before the end of the week.

3 bowls a day maybe more than the recommend daily amount?

Blimey, I have only just read this last page and you ladies have given such wise advice. Becca, thank you for sharing about your family. Lumpy Lyra, thank you for the straight-talking. Much appreciated. The only thing that stops me going mortal on th'usband's ass when I feel resentful is the knowledge that Oliver is blameless in all this. he didn't ask for fuck-ups for parents, or to be placed in care, or to have a weekend dad. I just wish the little fucker wouldn't jump all over my furniture, refuse to eat my meals, terrorise the cats, shit his nappy four times a day and stay up 'til midnight. Other than that I adore him

Right. I'm having sweet & sour chicken in batter with half chips-half rice. Will be back when I've troughed it....

What an odd question kara...no chickens here...just my pooch and my snake.

Phone NHS24 and see if you are allowed to take imodium. I had skits for a week, awful! I shat myself while out in the garden it ran right down my leg, and if that's tmi for use, suck it up pregnancy is not a time for dignity hahaha

Lyra, I did not mean to call you lumpy! I meant Lumpy and Lyra!

No chickens just two kitties. A work colleague has a couple of ducks ?

I had my first taste of mung beans today and I can say, without a doubt, that they are fucking vile. The rest of the BBQ food was good though.

Dh is a right moaning Minnie tonight, I might smother him in his sleep.

Hot I think the idea is your body needs to clear out the bug, and that's the best way to do it. If jt lasts for more than a week, you need to worry. Just make sure you're keeping hydrated. Boiled rice is good to 'bind you up' as it were

No chickens here, just my pup! Enjoy your dinner Prambo!

Not odd jol I have 15 hens 2 cocks and 3 ducks, I'd heard keeping hens was becoming fashionable so thought I'd ask. Although I really dunno what's fashionable about wellies and hen shit lol!

No chickens here, just a puppy!

It is quite fashionable nowadays now I think about it...I know a few families myself who keep chickens. I couldn't though...my dog has a very high prey-drive.

No chicken here, just 2 cats and 2 fishes.

Know people with chicken - does that count?!

Whoever asked about Imodium, I begged NHS24 to let me take it and it was a very firm no. I can't really remember why though.

Prambo - the highlight of my straight-talking career was when my best friend was getting paranoid that her boyfriend (now DH) fancied his very skinny flatmate. My pearl of wisdom? "If he liked skinny women he wouldn't be with you..." Oh how we laughed....

I have 1 dog, 2 ferrets a kitty and hens and ducks, OH also has 2 dogs. I love my animals and I'm sure our baby will grow up to love them too!

Kara, you are hilarious!

Mummy, I laughed my head off at smothering your little one. That's not right, is it?

Bionic, MummyPig & SoSurprised, thank you for talking to me about Oliver. I know you're right

Well, the 'nursery' stuff from Pat & Ron is beautiful. They are such lovely, lovely people and clearly think the world of th'usband. I was a little irked, however, when, stood on the doorstep waiting to be let into Pat & Ron's, DH said, 'Oh, don't tell them we are recovering alcoholics. Or that we've been to rehab. Or that we only tried for a baby for 18 months prior to IVF. Or that I've been to prison. In fact, best tell 'em we've been together for five years and been trying for a baby forever' What the fuck? I hate lying and I particularly hate lying to decent people.

I can understand th'usband's reluctance to reveal his past to his customers, I really can, but I was put on the spot so many times tonight my head was fucked when we left: 'So, how did you and ManPram meet, Pram?' (erm..rehab); 'So, you're from Chorley, Pram. What brought you to East Lancs?' (erm..rehab); 'So, how long have you lived in East Lancs, Pram?' (erm...since rehab); and on and on and on....

I've done it, I've taken the plunge, I've requested greymoose I'm too nosey I need to see what you lot look like!!!

Cassio! What a twatty thing to say! I love it

I have chickens!! Just 2 but they're the best pets ever!!

Pram, he wears a nappy at the age of eight? Does he have some sort if disability, like FAS if his mother drank while she was pregnant? I can see why you're not keen on him by what you say about his behaviour. Maybe DH needs to get stricter with him about the way he's expected to behave in your house.

Hotcross, diarrhea is the American spelling. It's spelled diarrhoea

If like chickens but there are so many urban foxes where we live that I don't expect they'd last more than a week.

I used to think so too Raspberrys but I've went off them since I've beem pregnant but I'll love them again once I get over this crappy feeling stage! I had almost 70 birds at one point last year :O

Lyra, this is the crux of the matter, I believe. When Oliver comes here it is horribly clear how very few parameters are in place regarding his behaviour. His mum is 53 (had him when she was 45) and is on methadone after falling under the spell of heroin two summers ago when she was stressed and a local dealer offered her a 'tonic' to 'calm her nerves'. She swears she didn't know it was heroin She also has Hep C which she uses as an excuse for never doing anything she can't be arsed doing (like driving Oliver to us instead of DH travelling 1¾ hours to see him). Anyway, she is frequently overwhelmed with running around after an eight year-old with behavioural issues. The boy has never slept in his own bed and continues to co-sleep with her. I've no idea why he can't control his bowels (she puts it down to his 'Aspergers').

When I try to put Oliver to bed at a decent time for his age on a Saturday night (like 10pm) th'usband is like, 'Look Pram, he only stays once a fortnight and I want as much time as possible with him. Let him stay up until we go to bed [1am]'. When Oliver refuses to eat his tea - despite my preparing the only dish he will eat: roast beef, mash and peas - th'usbna dwill then allow him to eat three Cadbury mini rolls on the fucking trot. It is so not a pleasure having him to stay when my house stinks of shit and he rules the roost.