January 2014 (thread 9) Pregnancy half time is over. Fast growing bumps, braxton hicks and we thought we would worry less!

[Frizz1986]

Hope its ok me setting up a new thread.
Couldnt see one, but if I am just being blind please tell me.....

Happy belated birthday nature

I do a bit whine when a spider appears and thankfully Dh saves me. He doesn't work away so hoping I will be safe for now.

So after my hot choc I fell straight to sleep on the sofa for over an hour in an almost bolt upright position. I don't even remember Dh putting pooch on my lap so she could snooze with me (very cute when I woke up)

Have got up 4 times in the night to pee tho and pooch randomly started barking at 1am so Dh brought her upstairs to sleep with us. I love her but she is trying to use my maternity pillow as her snooze pillow. My hips are in so much pain and have had a rubbish sleep, hence now sat up writing on here.

Are we allowed to sleep on our backs but just prop our pillows up so we are at an angle. My sofa snooze was the best sleep in weeks. Do I need to check with the mw?
I fear I will be another grouch today due to lack of sleep!
Oh and to make me feel good Dh is snoring away like a trooper and pooch is curled up in a ball on my side snoozing away too.

You ladies make me laugh

I had rage yesterday too, stupid cuntpuffin cut me up twice on the way to work

Thanks for the birthday wishes, had a fab day and now have a pregnancy massage to look forward too

Not sure pregnancy yoga is for me but I'll stick it out a bit longer as I am assured the breathing practice is very useful for labour

Urgh wish it was the weekend.

Dh and I looked at some prams yesterday. Some of the prices are eye watering. Can't believe a pram could cost more than my car! Heading to kiddicare next weekend so will hopefully find something then

Hope today is a better day for everyone

Frizz I get the "night guilts" where I end up on my back "just for a second" due to hip pain and then wake up an hour or so later! I am at a bit of an angle with duvets and pillows under me (to try to combat heartburn - only Rennie needed twice through the night last night), but probably not enough of an angle for bubs... If I have ended up sleeping on my back, I tend to wake up to kicks, which then makes me even more paranoid it's because bubs isn't happy/getting enough oxygen, so quickly move back to the less comfortable side position....! My mate used to sleep completely upright towards the end of her pregnancy, propped up with tons of pillows. I think that may end up being me, although when I tried that recently my ass starts to go numb if I sit for any length of time like that in bed........lesser of the two evils - hip pain or completely unbearable numb ass?

OK, so here's to a day of not letting RAGE take over! Longggggg day today, but then day off tomorrow, so can't really complain too much! After this week it will be 8 weeks til I go off on holiday break/mat leave! OMG! Soooo excited!!! Just 2 weeks til NCT classes start!

I sleep on my back every night. Not a lot I can do about it so no point worrying about it.

Speaking of rage -- avoid Sainsbury's first thing in the morning when the online shopping staff are clogging the aisles with their massive barrow things. They are so bloody rude! They stretched this morning from one end of the bread aisle to the other, blocking everything. Then wouldn't move at all, completely blanking me when I asked them nicely if I could get to the bagels. So I huffed loudly and shoved one of their barrows out of my way.

Then, when I got to the till, I paid and was about to leave when the next customer turned up, and stayed on her phone the whole time the lady was serving her. How bloody rude! I wanted to hang her phone up for her!

So I have The Rage today and it's only 8.15. I'm also deeply regretting today's meal plan -- homemade soup with homemade pesto and sundried tomato bread. Why didn't I say we'd have beans on toast today?!

Oh dear ladies... Sounds like some stressy ragey days were had yesterday! Hope a night's sleep has done the trick?
Thanks for those of you who responded to my q around bank holidays. My problem is that not only do my employers not have a maternity policy, but nothing is mentioned about bank holidays in contracts or any other policies. In practice, everyone gets the bank holidays on top of their annual leave entitlement (full timers have to take them on the day, part timers get the time pro-rata). Plus we get 4 additional days not out of our annual leave as our office is closed over Christmas. As these and bank hols are not contractual but just what everyone gets I have no idea where I stand - any ideas? So that's why I want to put my first day of leave as a bank hol, as my due date is a bank hol, and so I can't go the date after, but want to make sure I am still a "normal employee" for as many as the days before that no one will be at work for but are not contractual leave.
Sorry, all very boring, but if anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated!

Don't worry about sleeping on your back. My MW told me to sleep however was comfortable for as long as possible. You aren't going to hurt the baby. You're body will make you move when it feels like you should.

Yesterday I felt the rage as my stupid DH, long story, but he was a pratt. Then he came home and was all lovely so I loved him again. It's so awful being this moody all the time. I know i'm doing it, but it seems like I can't stop.

I'm struggling with smelly people. I hate the stale sweat smell and it's like it's everywhere. I can't cope!

I've ordered some jeggings and some leggings from matalan, they appear to have a sale on mat clothes at the moment :)

MrsA I really wish I could help - reading that I feel as befuddled as you.... Hopefully some bright spark on here will have the answer!

Toby I can just imagine! The staff are the worst as they feel they have the right to put themselves in everyone's way and they should just lump it. The number of times I have huffily pushed carts out of the way to get to the shelf I (the paying frickin customer keeping them in work) need to get to! Shite, the RAGE is trying to sneak out!

I have been really bad and lazy and have gone away from the meal plans - have been knackered by the end of work and DH also gets in late. I need to eat early to prevent as much heartburn as possible, so that means I need to prepare the meals every night. Sooooo, DH bought some bagels at the weekend and the last couple of nights I have just had a bagel and some fruit for dinner and DH has made himself something when he has finally got in two hours later.... Will get back on it at the weekend when I feel more inclined to cook! We are having a slow cooked beef brisket roast at the weekend and left overs for the next few days! YUM! I can't wait!!!!

MrsA, have you handed in your MatB1? Could you get your MW to adjust the due date to the following day so that you can start your maternity leave the day after the bank holiday?

Dammit, frying! Now I'm on the Matalan site! I really love this, but I always find that Matalan maxi dresses are too long for me. I suppose I could order it and return it...

Haha Toby me too! Dunno what's happened but my spending recently is OUT OF CONTROL.

Happy birthday for yesterday nature enjoy the massage.

Woke up to another hugr spider this morning in dd's room, rang mother in law to come and rescue me! I even check my shoes before I put them on now.. paranoia!!

Shit im blubbing at kyle,what is wrong with me!!

Dont worry abiut sleeping on backs, I did with both of mine anyway.
Got soaked on the school run and was waddling up the hill, looked like a whale.

Extra not at all. I love jokes like that.
What's brown and sticky?
A poo.

frizz bless you, snoozing with pooch. I hope DH took a sneaky picture. As for sleeping on your back, I don't believe (not a doctor!) that it harms the baby even if you're flat out - it's your vena cava (large vein) you're compressing, which will affect your blood oxygenation.. oh, so I guess in that sense it might have a knock on effect. I'm pretty sure you'd wake up if it got bad though - and you only need to be not totally horizontal to take the pressure off, as I understand it.

nature did I say happy belated birthday? If not, happy birthday! And enjoy the pg massage, I loved mine. I'm starting pg yoga tomorrow, not sure it'll be 'me' either, but I want to try and use the breathing techniques, as my Mum only used that when she had my sister, and swears they are miraculous!

Toby . Can you buy 'homemade' style soup, decant into pan, do same with pesto, hide packaging, fling some veg peelings round the kitchen and dirty up chopping boards/utensils, then serve up your lovingly 'homemade' dinner? That dress is lovely, btw - worth seeing if you can get it taken up/take it up yourself?

MrsA god - no idea then. We had the same really awful vague arrangements before - 'everyone' took Easter & Christmas off, but it wasn't contractual, just mutually agreed - and then the boss changed his mind. I'd suggest (and this probably isn't helpful, given how incompetent your work have been so far) asking for written clarification of how you stand wrt bank hols. I think Gobbo who was on here, but has disappeared again, is an employment law type - you could PM her, maybe?

fryingpan I am so up and down with DH. Mostly, I am in awe of how patient he is with me, then he'll say something without thinking, and off I go again, crying uncontrollably. I do apologise, albeit in a snotty, snivelling way . Lucky DH, eh?

sarah you're just getting your share of the little fuckers all out of the way at once - everyone has to encounter a certain number of eight legged monstrosities every year, and you won't have to see any for AGES when this is over. Hopefully...

Much better today - but it did take a MASSIVE sobbing session (that's every night this week) at midnight, for two HOURS, to get me to this zen-like state. God, I am a wreck this week. I can't stop crying - everything's a bit much. If I were a Victorian lady, I'd be suffering with my nerves

Tomatoes are roasting for soup, bread is proving. It's all a little better now and the house smells delicious! Cooking calms me, when I can get up the energy to actually do it...

My sister and my delicious nephew are on their way over to my house, which is awesome. I love that baby.

Ugh @ the crying, Humpty. I don't cry much. I think DH would think I'd gone mad if I started crying all the time. I'm not ruling it out, though!

I bought the dress (along with some yoga pants, PJ bottoms, a vest top and a skirt)

I go from being really mad at dh to being really clingy. Needing to hear he loves me, won't leave, won't die on me, and that he still finds me attractive. Poor man can't win. I did it when i was pregnant with ds too so it's my go to feeling ??

i didn't get many other clothes, but just ordered my toddler more train parts for his track from ebay. He's a big choo choo fan. Drives me demented! But it's nice to see dh playing with him.

today I'm 23 weeks and feel massive. I look massive too, but it's all bump which is lucky really

You are all a bad influence. Just ordered three new tops off asos!

Oh no now clothing talk. I need to get something for work as my mat trousers that I guestimated size wise at 14 weeks no longer fit my thighs and my dress I have been wearing is getting progressively shorter the bigger the bump gets. No way it will last more than a few weeks longer.
Really can't afford anything tho. Hopefully I'll start to fit the mat leggings and Ill just have to get some big cheap tops or something to wear as dresses almost?!

Thanks for the sleeping advice ladies. No sleep is making me grouchy atm. Am hoping it will be nicer waking up to a baby not just to turn my fat arse over!

mrsa i am not sure about holidays either. If your work don't have a maternity policy maybe you should ask for a meeting to clarify everything and just go in starting with so I think this is what I get off and this is how it works and see if they disagree. Then ask for it all in writing to confirm.

There are a few things that I am not sure if my work will know and as I am not too sure myself I am going in with information but stating it as a question so that gives them to opportunity to find out or just agree with me if they can't be bothered. As long as you get it in writing..... Such as 'I think my holidays are .... days. Is this right? And do I add these onto the end of my leave meaning I would come back in Feb?'

Hello everyone,

Not sure whether i should be starting a whole new topic for this - don't be shy to let me know if I should!!

So, I have two questions:

ONE: My bump is still really small - and everyone (on this forum anyway ;) ) seems to be talking about maternity clothes etc., and I still have no need for them whatsoever. I'm 22 weeks tomorrow and although I am showing, I still seem to have a bump that "comes and goes" - there in the evenings and when I let it relax, but almost gone in the mornings or when I feel stressed. I want a bump too! Luckily, the 20 week scan showed that all is well, and I do feel "flutters" and sometimes stronger movements every other day now. Still, everyone who finds out that I'm pregnant (and 5 months at that) comments that I'm "not showing at all"!! :( I've also been struggling to put on weight (I'm still around 3lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight as a result of severe and long MS. But gaining weight now at about half a kilo a week.

TWO: Sleeping positions - I saw people here commenting on the importance of sleeping on the side. I try to do that, but not religiously! Not pregnant I usually sleep on my stomach - don't have much in terms of boobs etc, so it's usually not a problem if I use a pillow. Even pregnant - given my small bump - I can still sort of get into that position, although have to lift my leg and sort of tilt back a little bit. I also use a pillow to support bump and breasts. Is that ok? I fear that lying on my front side might be a complete NO NO? What do you think?

Cheers everyone for reading. Bit of a long one... xx I need a to relax I think... ;)

Hi MrsA - I know for sure that when you are on maternity leave you are still entitled to your full year's holiday allowance. So if you were to take 9 months mat leave, you still have you 20 (or however days a year you normally get) days of normal holiday on top, so in theory you could stay at home another four weeks (and get full pay!). I'm planning to do that after 6 months mat leave - to stretch home time with the baby to its maximum...

Now, bank holidays! You've given me something to think about... I will definitely ask my employer about this - we'll have a meeting in the next few weeks. My boss is very kind and upfront about my rights etc., and he knows the rules, so to speak. To my mind, you should get any bank holidays during which you're on mat leave added on top of your annual holiday allowance which you can then make use of upon your return from work. The alternative would be that they should pay you your full day's salary on bank holidays - as they do for all other employees. I'm no expert, but this is what would make sense, surely?!

Good luck with sorting it out, and let us know what agreement you reach...

lalunya everything that I've read says that everyone is different. I've mentioned before about my mums friend who was tiny right up until giving birth. I think the baby was about 9lb something and is now 6 foot 5 and at uni. I also know of people who were tiny until the last trimester and then put on weight really quickly, and people who put on almost all the weight in the first two trimesters and hardly grew during the 3rd.
If your midwife isn't worried and the scan showed that baby is growing fine, then try not to worry!

lalunya I agree that what you have written regarding bank holidays makes sense. And I wonder what would happen if someone took their employer to court. But legally it's a grey area at the moment so they might take some persuading. When I was arguing about this when about to go on mat leave with dd it seemed that the crucial thing is whether bhs are included in your annual leave entitlement or on top of it. If they are part of your 28days statutory leave you are definitely entitled to them but if not it is much less clear.
Because my employment contract said that I was entitled to 6 weeks annual leave plus bank holidays they were not obliged to let them accrue over mat leave. If it had said including then they would have been.
I have no idea why bh are exempt from the usual stuff about not discriminating against pregnant employees but it seems they are. Hopefully you'll be lucky and they'll accrue though.

Lalunya, is it your first baby? What size were you before you got pregnant?

With DD (DC2), I didn't tell work until about 24 weeks. I had a bit of a bump but could hide it under biggish jumpers etc. Everyone's different. Everyone keeps telling me how small I am this time, too.

Ps only know so much about it because I felt like my hr were trying to screw me over so I researched EVERYTHING to get my maximum entitlement. My employer was a university so big HR department but they seemed absolutely clueless about maternity.

I'm not sure about sleeping positions, but frying said upthread that her midwife told her not to worry as your body will make you move when you need to :)

My holiday entitlement is 30 days plus bank holidays on top. Not sure how its worded in contract. I can add the 8 (I think it's 8?) days on to end like holiday as they accrue while on maternity leave. Makes sense to me as has been said normal employees get paid for them. I'd go in with that stance and see what they say?

lay I've got quite a big bump now but also sleep how you describe. I feel more movement that way so expect he's a bit squashed but I'm sure it takes more than that to harm them

I think BH are a grey area as it will depend on the wording of your contract and whether it is included as a benefit or not. If it's classified as a benefit then you should accrue it because otherwise that is discrimination, but if they don't include them as a benefit then I think they fall under renumeration in which case you are not entitled as you can't be paid whilst on mat leave (or that's my understanding from what I read on the internet). I realise that doesn't help at all but there you go!