Graduated Elderberry Pavlovas - Thread 7

[Cavort]

Newly diffed right through to new Mums. A thread for the over 30's expecting their first baby.

merk I'm glad it was low overall, I THINK nuchal is the most accurate indicator but I'm not sure - perhaps post a thread in the main forum specifically for that topic as lots of people have probably had similar situations? Try not to worry (easier said than done I know!) and I'm sure it will be fine as overall risk is low - you could look into reassurance options maybe and discuss that with midwife?

Speaking of midwifes, my app went well as no probs and listened to lovely little heartbeat, but I think I expect too much from a midwife as I thought I'd be speaking about birth options and birth plan etc, and she basically seemed nice but really inexperienced and didn't know about much at all! Gave me a leaflet and told me to write my birth plan at home and couldn't help with many of the topics I wanted to discuss. Is that just normal? Seemed a bit odd when I asked about whooping cough vaccine and she seemed thrown and didn't know anything about it, even timing, and again dug out a leaflet - she said she thinks I should just listen to my gut to decide and she didn't seem to recommend it (still booked myself in for it as think I should). Her one bit of advice was get an epidural!

Anyway main thing is baby seems fine Did anyone else do the antenatal classes at hospital? DH would struggle to get there from work on time so am thinking of giving them a miss especially as we're doing NCT, but I don't want to miss out. Is it that important to see the birthing rooms/delivery suite beforehand?!

Alex I dont think you discuss birth plans till later, I looked at my book and each time they are meant to talk to you about something different. Luckily mine is nice, and really knowledgable she said they discuss birth options at the classes and you can write your birth plan after when you feel more informed.

I am doing to nhs classes but not the nct ones, just cant afford them. Saying that I looked at the birth plan downloads online and they are really simple, I used an nhs one. Tbh it can all change when you're in labour anyway so I just used it as a guide and figured it was best to have something done just incase an I could always update it.

Hope you're not fretting too much merk! I honestly didnt read too much into my bloods as the overall figure was low, I would just chat to your midwife and see what she says.

I watched the midwives last night, find it much more realistic than OBEM and they explain things more. Have to say the birth images are WAY more graphic tho. One guy actually took pictures of babies head coming out of his wife....surely they're not for the album

Alex we went to see the hospital, i liked that they showed us where to drive and park in case of emergency. With rooms, they are what they are so I didn't find it so useful to know beforehand.

I go to the hospital for midwife apps so I'd just need to look down the hallway to see where to go and I know the parking situ already (basically crap). I'd like to do the classes as well as my NCT but don't want to drag DH out of work early when he's busy at work and think it would be odd going on my own?!

Thanks mother I'm not too worried about the birth plan as I'm basically quite straightforward so far - skin to skin, vitamin K orally ideally, would like water birth but totally open to epidural, not keen on trying pethidine, gas and air yes, staying mobile but only if possible. Everything else would be dependent on how the birth is going so would listen to midwife on the day. I really just wanted to chat to her about things like episiotomy and perineal massage and she seemed a bit clueless on everything! Let me know if anyone else has any strong recommendations for birth plan please but I think there's an element of needing to go with the flow with VB!

Oh and my DH isn't even allowed to look down the business end yet along take pics!! If I could I'd put blinkers on him so he couldn't see all the horror going on down there! Oops that's exactly the sort of negative thinking my hypnobirthing book keeps banging on about

Alex, my OH doesnt want to go anywhere near the action end! No way would he be taking pics down their.

Oh and alex Id rather go alone than drag a bored OH, he might not come to the breatfeeding one....I want to listen an not babysit him.

I have a really bad right hip this morning, really weak and bit sore....so random!!! What the heck is my body up to?

My DH has the breastfeeding NCT class on his birthday hehe He hasn't moaned about going to those though luckily (probably doesn't want to get told off!)

Oh and the blinkers would be for him as much as me - he has no desire to look down the business end either! I'm more worried he won't be able to resist like looking at an awful scene. Oops hypnobirthing negativity again

Alex - my midwife said to me that as i was doing NCT it wasn't worth doing all four classes, but she said it would invaluable to see the birthing suites so to do that class. I didn't bother due to ELCS (so didn't go near them) but I'm sure it wouldn't be weird to do that one on your own? They also have them on a Saturday morning if you both wanted to go.... She also said to remember that NCT is very pro "natural" birth and pretty negative about pain relief. All my NCT friends who had vaginal births said this was true - almost that the benefits of the pain killers were overlooked in the classes. Still they said it didn't stop them on the day!
Ooh one thing about our hospital Alex is that they offer mobile epidurals, not all hospitals do apparently.

haha, yeah like a car crash, you can't help but look. I dont think he'd recover from a full on end view of child birth though, he's trying to convince himself to cut the cord as even that is scaring him!

I'm getting impatient now, I want to know what our little boy looks like, I want to see him and hold him. My OH thinks he will have bright blue eyes and blonde hair, basically be like he was as a kid, I want him to have some of me though. I have brown hair and brown eyes, I think it is more likely he will have brown eyes as they tend to be dominant. My mum said my eyes were navy when I was born and started turning dark dark brown withing weeks.

Sorry cross posts - I heard that about the NCT classes too Janey

Don't worry I have my mum to balance out NCT attitude - she's 100% epidural! And episiotomy! Oh my god I just googled episiotomy as wasn't sure how to spell it and the images bar was HORRIFIC!!!! Watch out with google! I closed it before curiosity got the better of me!

When you're in labour you won't give a monkeys where your birth partner is or what they can see.

Alex I think your current birth plan is sensible and realistic - absolutely go with the flow HAVE AN EPIDURAL and don't set your heart on specifics as you are likely to end up disappointed. The only other thing in mine was that I wanted delayed cord clamping, and I also put that I wanted the reasoning behind any recommendations they were making to be fully explained to DH and I at the time so our consent would be fully informed. Elodie had Vit K injection and didn't make a sound.

The Consultant who delivered Elodie said she didn't think perineal massage didn't make much difference - I did it but didn't get to find out as I had to have an episiotomy to get forceps in. And an episiotomy is the same severity as a second degree tear, so not ideal but IMO better than risking a tear which could end up 3rd or 4th degree if your MW thinks it's on the cards. Episiotomy was undeniably painful for a few weeks, but I had no issues with it and managed to DTD painlessly at 6 weeks postpartum.

And I didn't bother with the hospital tour. I knew where to go and didn't need to see the rooms to know what they would be like.

Alex I just looked at episiotomy on Google Images and it is horrific!! It honestly didn't feel that bad at the time and I wouldn't hesitate to have another one - recipients are not supposed to see it from that angle.

I am going to try for as little intervention as possible until I'm screaming for an epidural.

I have heard your more likely to need intervention like forceps, vontouse or episiotomy with an epidural so hope I can hold out. But won't beat myself up if I opt for one.

I said the same cavort that I want options to be discussed and to understand the reasoning and implications behind the things suggested to me. I also said I wanted to as mobile as possible and not confined to a bed, plus my OH really wants baby cleaned prior to skin to skin so I put that in too.

mother, I was really worried about tearing and interventions as well. Had both tears and ventuose and honestly, no big deal. Certainly off my worry list for the next time.

Thanks hazel that helps put my mind at rest

I had an episiotomy, it's really not as bad as you think, I wish they'd done it a lot sooner and saved me a hour and a half of stuck baby. Oh and as much as I was all for as little intervention as possible, if I ever do it again i think I want an epidural this time. OH swore he wasn't going anywhere near the messy end then the midwives asked him if he wanted to see the head and he bloody looked! He seems to be more traumatised by the four hours of his life he can't account for though so it can't have looked that bad

Waking up at 5am with leg cramp is not the best start to the day! Now my calf is sore, doh.

Oh I had that a few times. Forgotten about that delightful symptom.

Poor you - hope it's not too bad x

Oh I had that twice too, quite mild - DH had the same one night from cycling so we had his and hers leg cramps, what a treat Not to tempt fate but no sign of heartburn for me yet.

I wake up most mornings with a calf threatening to cramp but this morning I didnt bend it out quick enough....certainly woke me up quuckly!

No heartburn here either yet , the odd BH but nothing painful, just feels tight. I do still have left fanjo discomfort, such an attractive symptom, no nice way of saying it Im afraid. Oh an the other day I went to the loo, got half way down the stairs and needed to turn round and head back up to go again.....I felt like an incontinent granny. Thankfully that was a one off though so far.

You'll never guess bloody what? MY DAUGHTER HAS JUST GOT UP FROM 8PM LAST NIGHT!!! She woke up for feeds at 11.30pm, 3am and 7am but went straight off again after 15 minutes. I must not allow myself to get excited that this will last.

I had quite a few 3rd Tri calf cramps. I felt like I had a permanent limp.

Wow!!!! Round of applause to Elodie! Hope a habit quickly forms!

She has gone back to sleep! I don't believe it!

Go Elodie!!! Bet you feel like a new woman! Keep it up Elodie!

I feel like I could sleep like her at the moment, got a good night sleep but struggling to focus at work - really feel like I have brain fog! Not helped by a comment someone made at work (different company but everyone heard) about it being shocking that women take a year for mat leave these days. And someone in my own family laughed when I said I was thinking of just taking nine months but actually I don't want to go back halfway through baby's first summer and they said "haha sometimes I worry about your priorities". All making me feel very guilty about mat leave and not helping with my worry about how to balance a baby with going back to work!!