Graduated Elderberry Pavlovas - Thread 7

[Cavort]

Newly diffed right through to new Mums. A thread for the over 30's expecting their first baby.

Hello all, back from Turkey here having had a fantastic time (save a bout of D & V on our final night/morning which made the journey back pretty unpleasant). Grey/cold London is a bit of a shock to the system! I would so so recommend Turkey, the Turquoise Coast in particular - and having scoped it out I reckon it's a pretty baby-friendly destination too. Hazle you have a lot to look forward to. I have definitely put on some weight/bulk while out there and reckon my baby is now probably 40% made of Turkish food! Seeing the midwife on Monday for 28 week appointment and hoping that she will reassure me that I am not measuring particularly small, just that bump is spread out as I am tall.

I am glad of the reassurance here re interventions/episiotomies (willing myself not to google - agghhh!).

So suddenly I am en route to trimester 3 - how did that happen? And having to think about stuff like writing birth plan, packing hospital bag, and sorting out maternity leave. There's been a few threads about mat leave recently which have made me wonder if I am being unrealistic in thinking I will be able to continue to 37/38 weeks - what do you lot think? Apart from one conference at about 37 wks which will mean an overnight stay in Birmingham, my work will be mostly sitting at home working on a laptop, with the occasional foray to meetings, and right to the end I will get to be flexible with my days so probably not working full weeks...does that sound realistic or am I being dim?

Alex yes likewise I worry about that balance. Being self-employed I can't take a year off - we need my income - so I'm going to have to get back in the game fairly swiftly, at least in a part-time capacity :(

Well done all these sleeping babies!

Also - Mother and Alex - when are you planning to pack hospital bags/make birth plan etc?

In working to between 37 and 38 weeks, will be fine I think - loads of people do and we're both lucky we can do a lot from home. Take your hospital notes to Bham and scope out local hospital though and take it easy when you're there.

Damn my maternity leave guilt!!! Sorry you won't get to take as much off but hopefully you can do lots from home to try and fit it in.

I'm going to sort my hospital bag and start ordering baby stuff when my house doesn't resemble a building site anymore - so around 33 weeks? Oh and everyone is still saying my bump is small but I've noticed a real increase lately and midwife said it was fine. at baby made of Turkish food! Glad you enjoyed your hols, can you believe we're both in third trimester! Not long until our next batch of berry babies!!

Quod - not unrealistic at all. I worked to 36 weeks but only stopped then as a) the hour on the tube each way was exhausting b) we had just finished loft conversion so I had loads to sort out at home and c) I knew I was having a c section three weeks to the day after I finished.
If I had been able to work from home one or two days a week, or wasn't having an elcs, I would have worked later.

quod I was still working on my due date and then worked from home until the day I gave birth, so if you're feeling fine, not unrealistic at all.

I'm not looking forward to putting on any weight in Turkey, I'm slowly fitting into more and more of my normal clothes. Then again, the menu will be somewhat limited if they can't figure out what I'm allergic to.

Quod I too worked until the day before I have birth. A long as you have an understanding with your boss that you can leave earlier if unwell then I reckon you can work as late as you like. For me it meant more time with baby rather than chilling while feeling like a whale! All a question of choice!

Thinking about it, I'm taking my last week of annual leave leading into mat leave, so actually technically I start it at 39 weeks. That's purely so I can relax a bit first and finish off getting the house ready (if I get time that is!)

Did any of the mums get the blues by the way? I heard from someone at work about a hormone crash she had not long after the baby's born and just wondered if anyone got anything like that?

Wow, busy morning. Very jealous of the Hol quod glad you had a fab time though! I have a baby made of crisps I think.....ooops. I just love the salt .

My friend is a doctor and she scared me into packing may bag early so I have most of it done, need a lightweight nighty and to remember to put makeup, hairbrush etc in but apart from that and clothes to go home in I am scarily organised! So unusual for me! I also want to see what the weather is like as I might be cold in my pjs of choice so might chuck in some pj bottoms rather than shorts......I'm in 2 minds though as the wards are always so damn hot! I've also written my birth plan, I basically downloaded one online and filled in the blanks. lazy I know

alex I was like that yesterday, our office was so warm I could have napped at my desk!

I am finishing work at 37 weeks, my maternity doesn't start till I'm 38+4 but I have holiday left to take and thought sod it don't save it just take it before.

I also felt bad about 9 months maternity alex but I don't think I'll e able to hand over my tiny little baby son any earlier than that. Especially as he will no doubt have to go to nursery at least for some days, 6 months just seems too small to leave him at nursery. I respect anyone who has to though! Not an easy decision and tbh it's not fair for anyone to judge you Alex, you've given up your body to growing a little person for 9 months, is it wrong to have some time off with your child?

Oh yes, my maternity leave didn't officially start until the day I had Miles - elcs meant I could arrange that - so crappy maternity leave/pay didn't start until then.

Alex - I didn't at all but DSIL did warn me about it. She said she had one day, about three days after birth, when she cried non stop for 24-48 hours apparently

Can I just spend the day on here? My life force is being drained by 4 media schedules and one social media spreadsheet. Excel is killing me. Certainly one area of work I won't miss!

Oh and a word about nursing bras - don't bother. Yes, get something stretchy til the milk comes in, but once the size has settled down, just buy normal bras and clips www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Breastfeeding-Nursing-Bra-Clips-Clasps-3-Pairs-for-10-Nursing-Dresses-Tops-/261270213289?pt=UK_Women_s_Lingerie&var=&hash=item3cd4eb12a9 and make your own nursing bras.
First, you have way more choice and can search for bargains, especially if bigger than average. Second, most nursing bras are fugly and unsupportive - even brands who usually make excellent bras, only offer horrible uncomfortable matronly things (yes, I'm looking at you, Freya!). Life is too short to wear ugly bras.

Alex The MW's on my postnatal ward warned me that it's normal to feel down/cry a lot immediately after having a baby so it's obviously quite common but I always felt ok.

Quod I worked until 36.5 weeks but my job involves lots of long-distance driving on my own so I was just being sensible really by not risking going into labour on my own in Carlisle. In terms of how I felt I could of carried on longer but I did enjoy having some time to myself and getting stuff done before she arrived.

Elodie is currently parked up in her bouncy chair in front of the TV watching a Baby Einstein video on YouTube. She is transfixed watching it, not moving and not making a sound. This is the first time I have put her in front of the TV while I have a cuppa and MN do a bit of housework and I currently have an internal battle going on inside my head as to whether this is a good thing, or if I am turning my baby into a couch potato and it makes me a bad/lazy parent for not stimulating her myself instead? I do spend quite a lot of time singing talking to her and playing with her as well. What do you reckon?

Hazle they are a great idea! My MIL sews so I wonder if she'd do them for me? I am rubbish at that kind of thing

hazel I said that exact thing to my mum as I can happily get some nice and cheap bras in Matalan, Asda, Primark, etc which I would be far happier in than the maternity ones which cost about 4 times as much. She thought I was being tight! Glad you ladies are more on my wavelength. I already have the clips too. Would you literally just put the hooks and eyes where the straps attach? If so that sounds a wonderfully simple and money saving option, I couldn't believe the price and mankiness of the maternity bras in mothercare! How can they think we 'want' to wear bras like that?

Oh and cav it's Baby Einstein, who bad can it be?

Cavort I think that is educational much more educational than watching the washing machine go round anyway and anything that allows you to briefly recharge is going to make you better at giving her your attention properly the rest of the time.

Right, so I've had a proper look at this buggy that MIL insisted on buying for us (second hand, and v cheaply) and it is a clunky fucking beast of a thing and folds down into something approximately the size of several small cars, which is no bloody good in our tiny flat with tiny hallway. I think we are going to have to bite the bullet and buy one. Alex, did you go for the Bee? Looks like it does what I want it to in terms of folding down in one piece which so few of them seem to do...I can't work out if I could get away with just buying the Bee and the cocoon thing and not all the other accessories too which seem to double the price...

there you go, really easy:
www.motherwearuk.com/page23.htm

I think it's absolutely fine to plonk baby in front of a video while you take a break do some housework cavort I'm sure I'll def do the same, mixed up with doing stimulating stuff with the baby!

I'm getting the Bee quod but haven't actually got it yet, as there isn't much clean space in the house to keep baby stuff while the loft conversion is being done - and I've been too busy lately between work, bathroom shopping and arguing with builders about buggering up the bathroom dimensions! Have you had a look at the City Mini? It's ridiculously light and easy to fold in literally one movement, and it's cheaper than the Bee - great option. Worth looking at too. I just slightly preferred the Bee purely on the look of it really, but MIL is paying for it so that swayed it too.

I've got a baby rocker thing (you sit them in and it swings itself, battery operated), but I'm wondering if I should get a bouncer chair too or if it isn't worth getting both? Also wondering if a baby gym is worth it, one of those playmat things they lie on?

Awesome hazel thanks

What did she buy you quod?

So far not that impressed with our NCT course - they've sent me an email asking us to bring our own packed lunches for the long sessions (can't they not do a buffet for that price) and she has "a tired and tested list of topics she tends to cover" Only joking, I'm looking forward to loads of time to talk pregnancy, birth and babies without worrying about boring people

Alex yep the Cini Mini is the other one on my list, but it doesn't do parent-facing and just looks a bit clunky when you clip the carseat/carrycot in in the early days. Haven't actually looked at either yet, but planning to sweep through JL tomorrow if I have the time.

Mother, it's a Bebecar Ipop, a few years old, bought from a friend (of MIL's) daughter. V kind of MIL to sort, but it's not really what we are after. They look quite nice online but in the flesh it's really big and unwieldy and clunky, and difficult to get bits on or off. As well as being clunky it's got light mould/staining on the carrycot liner which isn't machine washable, so not sure how I'd get that out. Mainly I figure that you're going to be spending hours dragging/pushing/humping the thing around once baby is here so worth getting something that's not going to piss you off from the get-go.

Alex - I don't have a bouncer too, not sure if I'm missing out or not but just didn't get one. He does like his swing though. In terms of play mats I'd def get one, Miles uses his every day. I bought it second hand from eBay as it was machine washable, is one that's still in the shops for £60 and I paid £14.... I have a Lamaze tummy time one too which we got from new which Miles may well have grown out of by the time your baby comes - no promises just in case though!

That was my other criticism too - it is a bit clunky with the small carrycot in. If you can afford to, I would go Bee, although our neighbour's got a city mini for their child after running into us testing them in John Lewis (they have three buggies/prams now!) - their child is 2 though and they were saying it's ideal for toddlers. We wanted something to go all the way through from newborn and the Bee really seems to fit the brief unless we have a second baby sooner than we think of course!