Due October 2006, PART THREE!

[Gemmitygem]

Thought I'd start a new one..

But will make sure no-one's left on the old one.

Hope everyone is blooming and not too hot!

Gingeme, I understand that money and space are limiting. You sound like such a good mum though, I thought it was a shame. If I'd got pg easily and at an earlier age (even a couple of years), I'd almost certainly have said I'd like more than one. Right now though, I'm so glad to have this one on the way, I think I'll just see how it goes.

Glad you're safely back in Europe Gemmitygem.

I feel a bit abnormal having read everyone's birth fears. I'm not worried about a vaginal birth, but I'm TERRIFIED of having to have a caesarian. Regardless of the increased risks and recovery time, it's actually getting through it that worries me. Not helped by having seen a caesarian video at antenatal class last night, even though it was really positive and supposed to be reassuring. I'm going to have to face this one head on. I think I'll write a separate birth plan for a caesarian in case I absolutely have to have one.

Dogmum: sep birth plan for a cs sounds like a good idea. I'm sure there must be lots to think of that wouldn't apply in a 'normal' birth. I was thinking of doing the same thing. Am also concerned about having a long and complicated plan that no-one bothers to read - prob better to split into headings!

I'm trying not to worry too much about the birth - just something to get through in order to get my baby

Swizzler, I was thinking of starting on my birth plan this week. I guess the first version will be really long-winded but hopefully it will be possible to trim it down a bit - or have different versions for the different outcomes. Perhaps some of the experienced mums have some tips?

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Wuzzle and Gemmitygem, it's so important for you to get rid of all your fears about birth before the big day. From all that I've read it's all very self fulfilling, so the calmer you are, the better chance your body has of doing what it has been pre-programmed to do.

Like Milliee, we're going to hynobirthing classes, which seems so gentle and natural - it's so encouraging. It really is possible to have a pain free birth.

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hi all, sorry to sound so negative yesterday - feeling a bit brighter today. dp is being a complete star and telling me to put my feet up more but I'm just not used to feeling so bloody useless. he even washed all the floors in teh flat last night when he came in from work - bless
DogMum, I was totally like you for my first birth - I seemed to trust in my body and thought that whatever happened during a 'natural birth' I'd be fine. I was, however, terrified of having a c-section... and unfortunately that's what I ended up with. I was sooooo gutted at the time and it took me quite a while to come to terms with but at the end of the day it was definitely what was best for me and my baby and the end result is certainly worth it Still have my fingers crossed that I'll manage a VBAC this tme round though...

My birthing plan doesn't need headings. It consists of following:-

1. Remember which hospital this time. Check directions. If possible, travel in car with leather seats, not fabric.
2. Turn up, whimpering, with trail of water gushing in one's wake.
3. Don't forget to scream abuse at husband, accuse MW of being a nazi bully, and poo on the delivery couch.

I figured if I just do the same as last time that would work fine. And point 3 is of course optional. I just did it all because I could . Far far TMI for the newies I know, but hey, I'm feeling rash and crazy today.

On the serious side, for those worrying about the childbirth itself best help I can give is to guarantee that the bit that really hurts is only for the last hour (maybe 2 hrs) and the bit that really really really hurts is over in about 5 mins, tops - maybe I guess 10 if you need ventouse or something. All the lead up to that is uncomfortable but more akin to the kind of low-level pain you get with stuff like toothache than the really agonising kill-me-now-please stuff. Promise. And some bits of childbirth are very funny (we should maybe start a discussion on that subject here to cheer everyone up about whole childbirth thing)

I would have loved waterbirth but everything went wrong for me so it went out of the window; would have loved to go down that route.

Gemmity - if the baby stays breach I would recommend a reflexologist - my first stayed stubbornly transverse for weeks and weeks and then turned a couple of hours after my therapist said she'd 'give it a try'. Marvellous. And no, I'm not a nutter (though I did for some strange unfathomable reason watch Most Haunted last night.....). If you want I can give you the name of my reflex therapist (who I worship - she has something like 9 kids and is one of the most calming, compassionate people I know) but it would mean a trip out of London - she works in Faversham which is one hour on train from Victoria. Worth the trip if faced with possible C-S. Am booked in to see her for hot stones treatment on my back this weekend (well, warm stones, really, as she isn't allowed to bake me to normal temperature when PG). Cannot wait.

Have just hoovered up pie & chips with PG colleague. Us city girls can't half be sophisticated when we want.

First of all thanks Dogmum for the compliment. I like to think Ima good Mum and have done and am doing my best for my kids. I had my 28 week check up today as well as my glucose test(Lukozade YUK!). All is well with baby and my blood pressure etc is a ok. I asked my midwife about what the last one said about baby being a larger size for my dates. She said if anything the baby is a little small but she also said being big may not necesarily mean weight wise but length wise. MY last baby was considered a long baby. All depends on how tall Mummy and Daddy are too.
Yes Millee is so right wether you do it naturaly or with hypnosis the best thing you can do is relax during in labour. It sounds harder than you think especialy when you hear and read so many horror birth stories but its so true. I was totaly relaxed with ds3 my midwife actualy wrote it down on my notes! I also had a water birth with ds3 which I found fantastic. The only thing I didnt appreciate was delivering the placenta out of the pool. Not very dignified and not very easy. Hoping to do it the same again and have another torpedo baby. I know Ive said this before but one thing I do remember from ds1 is my midwife telling me whatever you do in labour don't scream it doesnt help one bit and all it does is give you a sore throat!

cheers ladies for all the advice about birth..i must admit it had been getting to me a bit. i'll try relaxing a bit more about it all. its silly really..its not like i can get out of it lol.
and if it was that bad, then people wouldnt have more than one... or should i just not think about it and wing it when my waters break lol

Thats a good idea wuzzle he he. What are you most worried about? The pain? Losing control? The mess? Tearing?

probably tearing and the possibility of pooing at the midwife (sorry if tmi lol). i was fine untill about 3 weeks ago..then i just started to think about it more and more

Well to be honest I tore with 2 of my babys and didnt actualy know until the midwife said I needed stitches which they totaly numb you for anyway so you dont feel a thing. Usualy if your like me I actualy had a touch of the runs a few days before labour and so it seemed my body was preparing itself. My sister poohed herself twice in labour(2 different babies) and she basicaly advised me dont eat a curry or Mc Donalds near your due date! I think the realy worst bit is when the head comes that can realy sting. Again if your relaxed enough and breathing right you can actualy breathe through it. My last ds who was born in water didnt bother with that bit. Seemed he was in such a rush to get here he just pushed right out. Hence we called him our torpedo baby. And he still absolutely loves water now. Any kind

Oh and once your up to the bit when you could actualy pooh in front of your midwife your past caring anyway. And just remember shes seen it all before!

Thanks for the reassurance Nowanearly. I must remember getting the baby out safely is the most important thing. Also thanks to Whiffy for getting us all back on the planet.

Wuzzle, the best way to prepare is going to be different for each of us. The way that suits me is to understand as much as possible about what's likely to be going on in and around me, so that I won't be frightened at the time. I'm also trying to understand as much as possible about interventions so that even if I don't have much choice, it will feel as though as I do. If you don't think about it beforehand, the midwife will end up making all the decisions for you - I'm not knocking it - I'm sure it works for some. And don't worry about an indiscreet poo. Midwives see loads every day (and get rid of it quickly.) The midwife at antenatal classes said we'd be told to push like we're pushing a poo out, so it's hardly surprising that it tends to happen like that. I've sworn my DP to secrecy about everything that goes on during the birth. I might appreciate that later.

thanks gingeme and dogsmum - its lovely to hear voices of reason. i honestly dont think i'd have known what to do withought this thread lol. so i should just calm down then and take it as it comes. i suppose in a way its the panic of the unknown...dh keeps trying to tell me not to think about it untill i have to. thanks for all the advice again...its funny how a chat thread can give so much relief

Your welcome wuzzle. Glad to be of help. In a way your dp is right. But yes you must relax and think of that beautiful little person who will be wrapped up and all yours at the end of it. That is the bestest bit by far. Oh if I wasnt already pregnant Id be feeling quite broody he he. Anything else we can try to help you with just ask.

thanks gingeme yeah, what you get at the end of it is deffinatly worth it all.

Just signed up to my antenatal classes (good job I did as they start next week ) so hopefully will be more clued up soon!

Really hoping for a waterbirth now, but it depends how busy they are on the day - s'pose I can't wrestle a woman already in labour out of the pool so I can use it!

Thanks for all the info, O experienced mums Will def try and get to the right hospital...

can I join your group please... tis due on 11th October... I'm 31 weeks today hello

Welcome emzickle! Is this your first and do you know if its pink or blue? I'm due the 10th so at the same place as you...

Its great that you are all thinking about relaxing and being positive for the birth - its certainly very important and will definitely help. But do remember that if the birth doesn't go as planned and you need some intervention that it really isn't your fault - you can only be so prepared [especially first time] and need to follow your instincts, messages from your body and your birth-partner at the time rather than a pre-designed idea of what should happen. In the end all that matters is that both you and the baby are safe and well...

By the way, water is fantastic, you feel so much more comfortable, they can make the room seem much more atmospheric with lowered lights, you can kind of ignore the medical stuff easier and its lovely to rest between contractions - dp even managed to take some photos of me looking really peaceful in the brief spells between contractions in the pool

Hi everyone - just joined up and found out about the October group - I am due on 16th (according to dates) and 23rd (my birthday!!!)(according to scan) ... anyone else due same time as me?

I haven't had the chance to read through everyone's messages - and apologies for not remember name of lady who totally made me laugh about her birthing plan .. poo, scream and make sure get to right hosp!!!!!!!!! Glad I signed up to this now!!!!

Hi there can I join too am due october 3rd? think I talked to emzickle earlier today about people being rude about the size of your bump.

Welcome girlygale1 and jaybot. Hope your both keeping well and enjoying your pregnancies. Are you first timers? do you kow if your havong pink or blue ones?

This is number two for me, have dd of 14 months, this one is the blue variety