March 2014 - thread 3....Boy can we chat!

[Souredstoneshasasouredpebble]

thread 2

faithful Are you having a waterbirth as well as a homebirth? If not then where you give birth? So excited to read another 1st timer has decided on it. Be prepared for a barrage of questions from me

In some hossies the partner is allowed to stay overnight with you, it's worth asking. My hospital allows this - although they have to sleep in a chair. Ha ha. Told my DH this (it's come in to play since having our first, and for our second we didn't stay overnight) and he didn't look impressed at the idea!

I'm so conflicted about partners staying!!

Mine just got in the way, knocked stuff off and was so careful not to embarrass the other ladies (he's a sweetie) yet other blokes hanging around the ward were total turnips, noisy, one even argued with his partner and the ward is better with fewer people, limited space etc., and it was a heatwave so more bodies = hotter
I was quite ill after having my dd; and the days of other peoples' visitors swishing around my curtains and curiously eyeing me were knackering enough, wouldn't have liked men though the night as well. Also there's the thing of you bleeding all over yourself, the extra use of the toilets, extra eyes when you need privacy...

my sis had a waterbirth, sounded blissful. helps with pain, relaxing etc.
I couldn't as I was induced, 11 days overdue with dd and had cs with ds. The pool was like my unachievable birth dream

Gawjus, my OH doesn't like me being on FB either but he's gonna have to suck it up and get used to it. I won't be dictated to and neither should you.

Choc, you sound eminently sensible about the blokes-hanging-around thing. I've never had a sprog but I would imagine the only thing you need in the middle of the night after a fuck-off thirty-hour labour is some drugs and a belting pillow

Lyra, I was going to say summat like that to the lovely gawjus, but then I remembered she's only twenty and we might upset her. I don't want her to be bossed around either!

My preg symptoms seem to have disappeared and I don't feel pregnant anymore. Maybe I'm just being pessimistic but I have a feeling like something's gone wrong

Pram

I'll tell you for why
when I was in with ds I stupidly optimistically bought a fairly short (for me) nightie
thus not taking into account my giraffe-like height I was flashing a fair amount of flabby, marble veined chunky thigh. And other people's partners thoughtlessly gawp. They're sleep deprived and bored; but damn, I was so uncomfortable.
Like you say with all the ultimate shite you have to go through anyway, the little things can tip you over the edge {rocks}

First time around I was totally traumatised, half numb from epidural, and had catheter for so long it was bulging because they forgot about me, but i was too scared to leave DS in case he stopped breathing again (was resussed at v traumatic birth) so I defo could have done with DH there that night! It was the longest, loneliest night of my life.
Hwvr I also totally see how the idea of random blokes wandering around the ward might be disconcerting! I am hoping for a carbon copy of DDs birth this time - early morning birth, home for tea

Lyra
a lot of peeps on here say their symptoms come and go, try not to worry, everything will be OK

Piratesmam

I'd like my own dh there, after cs I couldn't move and the fecking MW never answered the bell for an age, so having him there to lift me across ds for a feed would've been ace.
best compromise is to baggsy yourself a private room with your dh

all this reminiscing is reminding me of several moments...
overhearing 2 MW talking
''Room 4 Needs a DEEP clean''
''deep?''
''Ceiling too''

Ceiling!! WTF!!

also

''doctor can you see bed 5, her wound has gone green''

argh.

Lyra - I keep thinking that but then wondering if I've just reached the point where I've forgotten what it's like to feel "normal"? The symptoms do come and go though. Try not to worry x

Lyra, sweetheart, remind us when your last scan was?

Last scan was at 8 weeks. 11 weeks now. I've been feeling sick every night but it's just stopped. And I had weird hard lumps in my belly when I woke up this morning. One was beneath my belly button. So strange and nothing I've felt before.

Sorry if I was a bit direct, gawjus. Just don't like men telling their women what they can and can't do. It's how a lot of emotional abusers start out, not that I'm suggesting your OH will become one.

choc LOL at ceiling!!! WTF?! As for green wounds - holy shite.

I had my own room for my fourth night in hossie first time around (after minor breakdown at staff about DS possibly being brain-damaged/not feeding etc) and it was AMAZING. Was obvs given it as had been major liability on open ward due to my constant hysteria, but I would have paid any amount of money at that point! (DS is fine by the way; I wasn't!)

I am painting a beautiful image for the first timers here.... DS's delivery was something of an extreme situation, please be assured! DD was like shelling a pea

Lyra, it's so scary isn't it, when you get those feelings? I've been quite pessimistic all along about this pg, despite having a good scan at 6+4, but I think we're coming up to the stage where symptoms can start to decrease (so looking forward to not feeling sick!), so hopefully there's no need to worry, although I know that's easier said than done!

On the subject of symptoms, as I was throwing up my tea a few minutes ago, DH's helpful comment was "Maybe you won't put on as much weight as last time if you keep on throwing up like this" He's lucky I was preoccupied, or I think I'd have lamped him!!
Saying that, I'm determined not to gain as much as last time (5 stone, the same as with my DTs!!), but we'll see what happens...

I will try not to worry. Not easy though.

Gawjus I'm with everyone 100% but then everyones relationships are different! if you don't mind me asking how old is your partner and how long have you been together?

Also does anyone know if its too early to think about spd? Pain in my lower back is getting worse and now having sharp pains in top of butt cheek/pelvis, hurting a bit to walk - I'm 10 weeks if it makes any difference?

Lyra - I was going to say exactly the same (and add my two penneth on the home birth discussion...). I'm due the day after you and I wonder if we've just turned that 11 week corner after the placenta takes over. I definitely remember a marked change in my bleurgh-ness with DCs 1 and 2 at some point before my 12 week scan. I had an early scan at 8+1 so the stats are with me but I will worry too until my scan on 20th August.

DISCLAIMER: Do not read if squeamish, you're not ready to face the prospect of how to get your baby out yet or if you don't want to read a negative experience of HB

So I had a HB with DS (my first) because I had an easy pregnancy and was a very short distance from the hospital. We had a pool too. As it was, I laboured 16 hours at home (me relaxed and baby showing no signs of distress so allowed to do this). I had to come out of the pool to actually give birth (which was gutting) as MW had to break my waters. Then my placenta didn't come away, cue all round panic, talk of calling an ambulance and a very unpleasant (but necessary) assisted removal at home. This caused and was followed by a night of heavy blood loss and clots at home which was very frightening. I felt like I had been hit by a bus for a long time afterwards and it really affected my first days with DS. I know there are lots of positive HB stories but quite honestly, I wouldn't put my family through it again. Plus, in light of the above, the cleaning up exercise was a nightmare. I've chosen hospital both times since, not least because, having faced the prospect of transferring to hospital at in labour or with a newborn babe in arms, it is too horrendous to have to contemplate it again.

Sorry if this offends anyone but I really wanted to give a balanced HB review. Teds x

at your story-telling, Choc.

Lyra, you probs won't remember but when I turned 10 wks last Tuesday my symptoms stopped immediately and only returned Saturday afternoon. They're nowhere near as horrid as before. Nothing we can say will reassure you but I do hope you get some peace of mind somehow x

Ted, don't apologise for some straight talking. I, for one, appreciate it. I'd love a home birth but, if I'm honest, I think I need the reassurance of a sterile, midwife-packed hozzie for my only first baby.

My tits are like basket balls

Hi everyone, taken me ages to catch up on here!! I'm going to book in for a home water birth, I have my booking app Monday so will see what they say.

grey to me your pains sound more like sciatica, which is caused by trapped nerve, ( not a gp so could be totally wrong!!!) I had spd real bad with DC3 and suffered with bouts of sciatica, my spd didn't start until around 16weeks but got progressively worse, if u do end up with it, I would recommend seeing an osteopath, they worked wonders with me, really helped ease the pain but needed regular app.

lyra I'm sure all with be okay, stay positive whilst waiting for that scan

gawjus fb can cause problems in relationships especially if there are insecurities there, so only u know his/yours thoughts on it which u may be happy with. As long as its your choice not to be on it for whatever yours/his reason than all's good!

teddy sorry to hear of your bad homebirth exp.

Hiya again, thanks for the welcomes, I'm trying to catch up a bit at a time, though I rather like the thought of an ongoing thread, there is just so much I can't talk to anyone else about at the moment really!

For example 2 year old DS is imitating me being sick. He keeps running to the sink and spitting out his snacks. accompanied by sound effects and everything. I didn't even know he had even seen me!! We haven't told 12 year old DD yet so I'm hoping she doesn't rumble me before the scan.

I had a home birth with DS, it was brilliant. All very calm, I did hypno birthing and had oils burning and lovely music. Still bloody hurt mind, and i needed stitches but I felt in control and calm apart from the last 1/2 hr out of 5.5 hours when I was about to push. Going to go for another one with this baby too hopefully!

Lyra, LOVE your name, my other Internet NN is a Lyra based one too! My fave books ever! Sorry if TMI but are you constipated at all? I get sort of hard lumps in my tummy like that sometimes if I'm not regular. I'm sure all is fine, you are reaching that nice bit in the middle when all the early fun and games are calming down somewhat. It's so hard not to worry though isn't it?

I'm going for an early private scan next week when I will be 8+6. My DSis had a mmc recently and I had a mc before my DS, so I'm very jumpy at the moment too.

It's really hard posting on my phone as I can't scroll up to see PP or names, so will have to try to use my non existent memory.. Apologies if it takes a while to remember who's who and what's what!

Also, in relation to the avoiding everything that could possibly ever be even slightly risky whatsoever, problem faced by all sensible pregnant women I have found these or even as a stylish alternative these

Classy, and safe I'm sure you will agree..