December 2013 - blue, pink, what do you think?

[NomDeClavier]

New thread! Pile in!

Well you never know... We can't afford childcare so I will have to get a weekend job while dp works during the week.
One baby arrives you may feel completely different..

Hope you can work something out..
I'm counting the weeks until I leave lol... Sad i know lol

Ooh that's a good point, at the moment I've asked to take the full year maternity leave but we are planning to move to the other end of the country just after this one is born (fun huh?) so may well be asking for a career break or just not returning. Didn't consider having to pay mat pay back, any other civil servants have any clue about this?

And as for counting the weeks, as I have 3 days leave and a bank holiday between now and then I've got 35 days left to work

It all exciting!! We are moving around my due date.. But we don't know when that will be.. We may not even know until the end of Nov and im due 21st Dec!!...

Its annoying because I can't get baby's room ready or settled into the new house.. Its killing me...

I've got about 4 months left and it feels like it's taking years!!

crying glad that you were able to see someone. hope all is well.

how exciting that we can all start counting down! I'm off Oct 8th to Los Angeles (29 work days!) and then may work a bit part time from home but will pretty much be off at that time!! it's right around 30 weeks but I had to start then just to make sure I can move and everything is ok...

stom i work in corporate, but we have the same policy, you just need to give 28 days notice and you can start anytime after 29 weeks.

Ok I need ladies who have had kids before to reassure me here. I've literally popped in the past 3 days. I went to barely looking pregnant to having a serious bump... with an OUTIE!!!! outies are scary - please tell me it goes back in lol! my dh was a bit weirded out by it too but he's started to get used to it and pretends it's a doorbell and rings it to ask baby girl to start kicking so he can feel :) it's really sweet.

hope you're all enjoying the bank holiday. it was such a beautiful day. at least it makes this week a short week!

Roselau in the last week i have gone from nothing to a bump, no outie yet but not far off and it really freaks me out!

Ive been off work for the past 8 weeks due to a broken arm and chipped spine so have had nothing about maternity leave any forms or anything. slightly worried now that i should have, my dad works for the same company so could have easily got a form or letter to me.

I didn't get anything from work, you should get the matB1 form from your midwife and give it to your employer by week 25, once I'd done that my manager sent it off to HR and I got a letter by email confirming the dates and terms of my maternity leave.

Don't worry roselau the belly button goes back in, we'll mine did lol

It dies look weird and mine pops out even more when I laugh, no one will look at it lol.

My work needs 28 days notice to change mat leave but I've just sent my matb1 form with a date of November 4th to finish, I'll be 36 weeks.

ahh clare i definitely haven't received the form and I'm not due to see my midwife again until September 19th. i had a different midwife at 16 weeks due to mine being on holiday, and felt very much like a number not a name. looks like ill be ringing them tomorrow. Thank you

Roselau it definitely goes back in :). Mine is totally out too.

In my first pregnancy both the midwife and I forgot about the form at my 22 week appt, phoned her and she left it at the docs for me and I just picked it up on the way home from work one day.

Eeek, all this talk of work and maternity leave is scaring the hell out of me!
This week is my last week of work before my contract runs out and then I'm officially unemployed! Really can't afford to be out of work at the moment, but I get the feeling that no-one will want to employ a woman that's nearly 6 months pregnant!

Oh and hope everything's going ok, Crying. Keeping everything crossed for you!

my outie is now so out that you can see it protruding through tops. very freaky. last time it went back in so I'm hoping it does this time too.

totally forgot about the matb1 form. don't have a midwives appt till 28 weeks. can I just call to get it?

chilli I just popped into the doctors to see the receptionist and they got the doctor to sign it and they stamped it at the front desk x

Hi guys, all these rules are statutory so all workplaces are the same re 28 days notice of change and not starting before 29 weeks.

On the having to pay things back. You do not ever have to pay SMP back as if you are entitled to it you get to keep it no matter what. It's only if you employer is more generous and offers occupational maternity pay that you have to pay that back.

So you can work it out by looking at the difference I.e I get 2 weeks full pay, 4 weeks at 90% and then 12 weeks half plus SMP, then just SMP. Just SMP is 6 weeks at 90% then standard. So ignoring the bit at the start which is ony 10% different I would have to pay back six weeks full pay (the 12 weeks at half) if I don't go back.

stom91 you don't lose your annual leave by going on mat leave - you continue to accrue it.

If they don't want you to take it before you go on mat leave they should either let you take the first 5 days of leave as annual leave then start mat, carry it over into the next leave year (even if this is more than they'd normally allow) or pay you for it. Don't be fobbed off, you are entitled to that leave one way or another!

well I'm still in the hospital as my blood pressure won't behave and I've started to get swollen hands

hope everyone is alright and had a good bank holiday

Hi lady that's what I thought, So technically I still have 5 days to date before the new year (april)...

. Anyway I'm so wound up.. First day back at work after have 10 days off on bed rest drs orders.. I get 2 texts telling me what shift I'm on fair enough.. Even though they've rang me twice this week. To tell me... Then 2 hours before they start my shift.. I get a missed call and I voice mail. Ask me to change my shift onto a late shift and to work on my own..

. I'm still not 100%.. Which also means I'm going to be lifting and rushing around with no help with the Dr says I shouldn't be doing.. And I'll be doing a late followed by at early (up at 5am) which is what contributed to me becoming exhausted in the first place! I hate where I work :( sorry for that little rang lol hope u are all have a good. Tuesday x

Oh crying I bet you are worried sick hun.

Lets hope they get everything under control very quickly and you back home and having some rest. Biggest but very gentle hugs xx

Had an interesting Bank Holiday. Went to a ponyshow yesterday I didn't want to go to in the first place. Did shite at the show (judge really didn't have a clue) which I can cope with as you can't win em all. But then my friend (who I was moaning about the other week) was really, really nasty and rude to my DP. Am fuming over it.

My DP works his bollox off to provide for us. Part of that money goes her way as we have 2 ponies in livery with her (which means we pay her to look after them). We pay her more than anyone else on the yard so we don't have to go twice a day (she does it instead) but this is more for her benefit than anyone elses now as I now work from home and can easily do them myself.

On top of that we give her all the diesel money to go to shows. Its her transport but without us going to A) pay for the diesel and B) help her, it's impossible to go on your own really.

For years we (me and friend) have gone to shows together. It's only the last 2 years my DP has been interested and my DD been old enough to help out a bit once we are there. DP doesn't really know what he's doing but we bumble along nicely us 3. Friend seems to think my DP and my DD are there to help her and I was already annoyed at her getting my DD to pass this and pass that and pass the next thing to her. DD wasn't feeling too well and wanted to sit down in the shade out of the way, so I ended up passing and fecthing and carrying.

I pulled friend on it in the end (in a nice way) and asked what she was paying for a groom these days. She said that as there were 3 of us and only 1 of her that we should help her. Said we do help her and thats fine but my DP works fecking hard 5/6 days a week to pay for these pony shows and the ponies and if he wanted to come to a show and go and get a burger and a coffee he could. And same with DD as she is lucky to have a daddy who pays for all this and a show was a day out for us (a fecking expensive one) and for all of us to enjoy. And that there might be 3 of us and 1 of her but for years it had just been me and friend and we had always managed just fine so to expect my family to run around after her now was taking the piss a bit.

She stomped off but half an hour later had a massive go at DP over something stupid. DP was raging I could tell as he walked away. Advised friend that it wasn't a good idea to have a go at DP as he was likely to have a go back. And if it comes down to it she was in the wrong not DP so don't expect me to defend her to him.

It was not a nice drive home lol. Friend seems to have developed a very entitled attitude these days. She's struggling financially and has asked me for help which I have said no to until I have everything baby needs and all of christmas sorted out. But she goes on holiday for 11 days in 3 weeks and as she is S/E will lose over a weeks wages. She's had trouble with her brother at home and kicked him out, supposedly terrified of him but went drinking in the pub where he goes on friday night. And there are a million and one things that she is doing or saying these days that are getting right on my fecking tits! Arrrgggghhhhhh

And breathe lol.

Sorry thats so long and very boring but needed to get it off my chest and check by reading it back that it's not me being a hormonal bitch but that she is actually in the wrong. And I know she is.

The good news is though DP has now decided (after years of nagging lol) that it would actually be worthwhile us having a 4 x 4 and a trailer of our own. 2 more shows left this season then we have a good stretch until april/may next year when shows start again to save up. Once baby stuff out of the way we will see the financail benefits of not smoking (I stopped months ago, DP just stopped a couple of weeks ago) we can afford it.

So then she will be fooked well and truly for going to shows as she won't have anyone reliable to go with and she won't be able to afford it. Especially if I decide that finances are a bit tight with baby and decide to see to ponies myself twice a day. Soon burn baby fat off that way and DD managed just fine in a snug pram watching me muck out etc.

Hope eveyone else had a good weekend? Now I have had another good bloody moan!

Good morning all, hope everyone enjoyed the bank holiday! We headed down to Cornwall, where I lounged in rock pools in the sunshine whilst everyone else surfed. It must have been quite a picture to passers-by to find a large pregnant woman partly submerged in a rock pool, but the cool water and sunshine was heavenly! I?ve got lots to catch up on now though ? sorry if I miss anyone.

Hope the renovations and clearing out are going ok musiceverywhere!

I?ve been having some Braxton Hicks too froubylou, and for me they?re pretty much as you described ? not really uncomfortable, just tight and hard and lasting a minute or two at a time. I think I probably get four or five a day, most days so not quite as many as you Alyssa1978! The cramp sounds awful Roselau and itsliz, thankfully I haven?t had that particular joy of pregnancy yet, hope you?re ok now!

Oh no, CryingGivesMeAHeadache you poor thing! Thinking of you over here and hope they get it sorted ASAP.

froubylou, that does sound really annoying ? well done for pulling her up on it!

Stom91 I know what you mean about people?s comments getting you down ? I think pregnancy hormones are starting to conspire against me now; it feels like everything sends me into a weepy mess! I was feeling kind of sad that I?m unlikely to be able to have a natural birth, (which I do understand is probably for the best, but just isn?t what I?d envisaged at all), then I went for a coffee on Friday and the usually lovely man in the coffee shop asked how far along I am now, then looked at my bump and said ?are you sure?!?, to which I responded ?it?s twins? and he said ?You won?t be sleeping for a while then eh??. Usually I?d just laugh and turn the other cheek at things like that but it made me feel really upset.

I?m going to be working from home after 15th September, which can?t come soon enough, then hopefully I?ll be on maternity leave from mid-October, but they?re being really good about it and letting me be quite flexible. I?m not sure how much longer I can carry on as I am really ? I just feel so exhausted by the time I get home. Nausea has returned to me as well, which is pretty horrible. I?m hoping it?s just a blip and not back for the duration! I?ve been sick twice so far today and had to get off the tube to vomit on the platform? lovely! Is anyone else feeling sick still/again?

Ah well, I?m going to treat myself / bite the bullet tonight, and hit TopShop, H&M and NewLook maternity departments online as I now seem to have nothing at all that fits!

itsliz I have the same problem - no-one wants a contract teacher (except the place offering me a shite timetable) who will go off on ML. So I only have my SE work, which doesn't pay hugely well and I can't take ML from, so December is going to be a PITA....it's all feeling a bit stressful. Plus I've just realised I've fallen behind on invoicing for June and July so obviously not been paid for them. Totally my fault and I'm sure I'll get a few raised eyebrows but had too much going on and pregnancy forgetfulness.

To whoever was asking about pain relief and birth plans I had gas and air, and pretty much got my birth plan. Sometimes things you think are bad, like continuous monitoring, are the lesser evil. In my case they agreed reduced VEs in return for that and I didn't notice. I also made it very clear I was having an active labour and they couldn't stop me so if the monitoring could cope that was fine but if not I wasn't staying still.

crying, I hope your bp settles down and you feel better soon, at least you're in the right place and being looked after

hetso, I hope you start feeling better soon too, look after yourself.

Is anyone else starting to get a bit....well....fed up? I think I am. I've hardly any clothes that fit, my face is puffy and covered in spots and I'm having horrendous nightmares about dying and losing the baby , so much so that I'm starting to dread going to sleep as I know something horrible will happen in my dream! I just want the next couple of months to whizz past.

YES PistachioTruffle! I?m completely with you! I don?t know if it?s just coming back to work after the bank holiday, or feeling sick, but I?m totally fed up today! Big moan alert: Nothing fits, even maternity clothes look rubbish, no one can say the right thing, I constantly feel like I?m about to pee or puke, and I just can?t do all the things I used to enjoy anymore ? no running, surfing, eating delicious sushi etc etc. I think it is probably normal to feel like this at the point we?re getting to now, and hopefully t?s just a matter of ups and downs.

The nightmares sound dreadful though, and so scary. You poor thing! Have you spoken to someone about them? I was once told as a child that describing my nightmares in detail to someone in the cold light of day can stop them recurring. I?m not sure if it works, but it might be worth a try. Hope they go away sharpish!

Pistachio, I've been having nightmares too, waking up in the morning it feels like I've been through a trauma in my sleep! Very vivid, so for the first few moments after waking I can't work out what's real or what was just a dream. Hope yours ease up soon.

Crying, thinking of you, rest lots and get well soon.