December 2013 - part 3

[Holly1977]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1740732-December-2013-part-2

Starting yet another thread as us chatterboxes have filled up 2 already!

Jucy, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Big hugs, wish there was something more I could say.

Frouby, if you're feeling crap just fuck the housework off, I do! It'll keep.

I'm scared and excited in equal measures about the scan on Friday. Looking forward to seeing bean and being able to get on with things. But obviously scared of getting bad news like Jucy... 2 days, 1 hour and 50 minutes to go!

My friend has offered to be a birthing partner too. I may well take her up on it, I suspect she'll be more help than OH. And as I'm planning on having a home water birth and OH has already invited his bloody mum (!) think it'll be good to have a friend there. I'm not private at all, have zero issues with people seeing me naked (as my neighbours will tell you) and she's seen me throw up enough times from our party days (though never shit myself to be fair) that I'm not too fussed about that.

QUEEN!!! Your ceiling!! What a nightmare :( :( you poor thing

hi takingthestairs

although my living room is practically destroyed...I sincerely hope my landlord will either put her foot down and make our management agency fix everything we've been struggling with or just scrap the management agency altogether and let me re-do the house and let me claim the updates against my rent...or pay for them. It could be a stunning house if I could just get permission to do more than paint the walls.

Yoga exactly the same thing happened to me! DD would not latch at all and I breastfed her for 5 months using nipple shields for every single feed.. She latched onto my breast once that entire time! So i agree with the previous posters about doing what suits you with regards to BF or FF

Anomaly scan on friday went well and we managed not to succumb to the temptation of finding out what gender baby is.

Last bit about BF I promise! I would recommend Medela nipple shields but really it's finding ones that suit your nips and baby's mouth. And yes, sorry LLL is La Leche League. All the leaders have successfully BF themselves and received a hefty course of insanely difficult training. I know I'm in a minority among the leaders and trainees I know that I take a really relaxed approach to doing what works, mixed feeding if you have to or want to and giving up if it's just not working but life is too short to be unhappy like that. Equally never rule anything out upfront, so even if you plan to FF try giving it a go for a couple of feeds - colostrum is really magic stuff. Then if you don't like it go with the original plan. If you want to BF and it's just not working out for you, even when you've talked about it and got proper advice then don't rule out FFing. Ironically I find more women keep BFing, even if it's only 50%, if you talk honestly about how to keep the maximum amount if BF possible rather than pushing BF 10"%. Of course for the first 3 months, ideally 6, my advice would be to feed as much as possible and keep feeding but once your supply is established and your baby knows how to then it takes between a month and 6 weeks for your milk to disappear completely so mix feeding isn't anywhere near as impossible or harmful as anyone makes it out. Gives you something to aim for and fall back on!

I suppose the disadvantage of organisations like LLL is we're so focused on BFing and it being a positive experience whether we found it easy or not that we can be a bit scary! Some treat formula as poison, which it totally isn't as long as you're making it safely.

Ugh this heat! I'm just not used to it any more. DS has finally succumbed to sleep so I'm off to plonk my feet in a bowl of cool water.

Hope your landlord does let you do the property up, Queen. She'd be a fool not to IMO. Thankfully I never got expressing related orgasms - that would have been awkward at work!

feather/mildred you'd have that thought that the NHS, being all about health and stuff, would actually give a shit about employee health! I guess it's just so over-stretched its impossible for them to be as accommodating as some managers would like. Or maybe some are just prats.

I really want to bf if possible, but reading threads on here about bf babies refusing bottles really worries me - I'm likely to have to return to work after 5-6 months, what will happen if baby refuses bottles and starves while I'm not around?! The good thing is that my area has a lot of support for bf mums according to the midwife, including trained breast feeding supporters who will do home visits to offer support and advice, so that's an option too.

Queen, that sounds an absolute nightmare, hope you get it sorted soon!

Dasie, congratulations on the good scan

don't worry about baby refusing bottle...

DS is the most stubborn child in the world (has serious control issues because of his Autism)...he refused bottle for like 3 feeds in a row---then just had to give in...you'll be fine.

They won't refuse for long. Alternatively at 6months they can reverse cycle (which if you're happy to cosleep isn't a problem).

But seriously don't let what might happen 3/6/12 months down the line stop you starting. Cross the bridge when you come to it.

Haha sorry, I didn't mean to make this thread go off at such a tangent!
You're all wonderful though After reading so many brilliant tips I feel a lot less stressed about the prospect of BF, so thanks everyone!
My midwife suggested going to a few local groups to learn technique etc, so I think I'll go to those, give BF a try when the time come and if all else fails, come running back to MN for help!

:)

Never knew BF could be that difficult. I knew it was a challenge at first whilst both mother and baby learn but omg! Definitely going to ask around about local BF groups.
Has anyone had experience in changing hospital/areas whilst PG? My new job means I'm making the permanent move 100 miles away from home to where OH is from so have to transfer my care down here. I'm nervous though since I know how everything works at home and I know where I need to be and when. Do I need to inform a new GP/hospital of which stage I'm at or will they go off my notes? I'm scared of missing appointments and everything getting muddled up when atm I have complete faith in the system at home and know nothing about how it works down here :(

Nom, what is a reverse cycle?! I feel I have much to learn!

abdcdemma, I would just give your new GP a ring, explain you're x weeks pregnant and new to the area and ask for a midwife appointment, hopefully they'll be able to sort it all out from their end?

Hi all,

So nice to get some bf tips before having a go, thanks so much!

Moving house today. Eeeeeep, nervous! xx

Good luck violetbean
We moved a month ago, we still haven't finished unpacking.

Reverse cycling is where baby previously had a daytime feeding routine and fed less at night/was sleeping through and effectively reverses that, so their long milk free period is during the day and they feed frequently at night. If you cosleep it really isn't that bad and while people who don't know about it will tut it's normal and healthy for baby to prefer your milk and want it when it's available.

But honestly don't worry about it now! That's a year or so away! If you do want to do some pre-reading then the kellymom and analytical armadillo sites are great, and feel free to shove any questions on here or PM me :)

DS is refusing the eat his breakfast and he has more spots but I'm still not convinced it's chickenpox.

Good luck with the move Violet DP is currently applying for jobs all over the country so I could be facing a move either heavily pregnant or with a tiny baby!

Have my 20 week scan this afternoon and I'm absolutely sick with nerves, barely slept last night. DP just doesn't get it, his attitude is that its much more likely that everything will be fine than something being wrong and that there's no point in worrying about something that hasn't happened yet.

I can see his logic but it doesn't help, hopefully if everything goes well today I'll stop worrying, probably not though knowing me!

If possible though, we'll get to find out the sex, personally I'd prefer a surprise but I got my way last time and DP really wants to find out. Will help with buying adorable little clothes though

nom you'll probably disapprove (can't imagine LLL and Gina Ford are very compatible) but I have used GF routines for both my DC's - it worked for us and they were very contented happy babies (well mostly!) not sure how BF works with it. Was easy to FF. GF doesn't focus on demand feeding but I think I'll give it a few weeks for baby to feed well and my milk to settle then start. Perhaps it can work..

Thanks for the tip on nipple shields. Any advice on breast pumps? Had a manual one last time and think that's partly why I failed- trying to pump to give boobs a rest but hardly any came out! .

Clare good luck with the scan! I'd be nervous too but try to think postively- no point in worrying till someone/something gives you cause to- SO easy to say tho! I'm pretty irrational right now and worry about everything!

I've still got 3 weeks till mine

Movers turned up on time, yay! However, they are really stressed about having to empty our loft even though we definitely showed it to the estimator.
Anyway, hopefully it'll be ok, they are working really hard at the mo. Fingers crossed!

Breat pumps, I've only heard good things about the medela swing. I had an avent electric one when I had my first, and I was happy with that (but less happy that the room my work set aside for pumping had no power socket)

I would avoid open system pumps personally, especially if you're buying second hand, plan to use it for more than one DC or want to sell it on. I have an Ameda lactaline which is bloody brilliant. Production when pumping, especially if it's after a feed, is not an indicator of supply. It's difficult to trigger let down with just a pump, and doubly so with a manual or mini electric. You need a pretty strong milking machine for that . But the stimulation helps supply. Manual pumps are good for relieving a bit of pressure but you can do just as much, if not more, with good hand expressing technique.

As for GF and LLL, whatever works. GF is not that revolutionary. She puts babies on an extended feeding schedule earlier than most BF babies can cope with but most parents recognise that you can dial back a couple of weeks and just feed more frequently while still stocking to the routine. She's also a bit obsessed with expressing and her actual BF advice is....well... MN has already been in trouble with her and I wouldn't like to cause more. But she's not devil spawn and her timings aren't that inconsistent with some others who are counted BF friendly. What I think most people got upset about was leaving baby until it was time to feed, which is less compatible with BF, but if it slips by 10mins so what?

Routines aren't by any means incompatible with BF.

You baby may have other ideas but if your previous ones have been happy there's no reason this one shouldn't! And if it's not working, change it! If you feel it's harming your chances of BFing successfully or a BFC advises you to feed more often than GF does, or feed for longer, decide which is more important to you.

Good luck for the scan, clare!

I really need to sort my fat fingers premature posting problem!

Shocking that the room they deemed suitable for expressing didn't have a power socket loki! They must have really looked hard to find a room without one....

Glad the movers have turned up violet. Definitely the sensible way to do things. I never cease to be amazed how fast movers can go if they want to.

Nom I don't know what an open system pump is but I'll google it! (don't want you to spend all your time explaining things to me tho I really appreciate your input!

Yeah if BF goes well this time I'll definitely be flexible with the routine as I couldn't leave baby to cry if he/she was hungry. I think that although GF talks a lot about BF in her book, I really do think it is more suited to FF where baby can go longer inbetween feeds more easily. I have a few friends that followed GF (roughly) and BF so I can always ask them if I'm struggling with it. And anyway, I think baby will end up fitting into family life more (i.e. around the other kids) than anything else. I think routine helped more with my first just so I had some kind of structure to follow!

anyway thanks again for all help/advice. I'll try not to bombard this thread with BF stuff now- at least not till we're all nearly ready to pop!

Actually I'm glad you asked because lots of people will be starting to think about buying stuff and it's worth being informed beforehand.

This explains what an open system is and some of the issues. Also remember where there is milk mould will grow and if you end up with thrush you can't sterilise the motor so it may still lurk. Here explains a bit more about that.

Blog post but very informative and clear, with pictures and other links. She also goes into quite a lot of details about the standards for pumps if you plan to donate milk to a milk bank so it's really well worth reading.

No worries about time - I have a stash of bookmarks! Plus you don't train as a BFC unless you're happy to answer questions and help mothers who have questions.

Well then if you don't mind nomI'll be back with more questions after the birth you can be sure of it!!

I always found it was late at night when tired and no help was to hand that I really felt dispair about it all, this time I'll get more help and pester mw/health visitors more!

Wow - it's all starting to feel very real seeing all of this bf advice!

I need to remind myself of all that, as we had a pretty unsuccessful beginning to bf with DD - managed 3 weeks ebf when she got smaller and more jaundiced by the day until we started to top up with formula. We then successfully mix-fed for 4 months by which time she wasn't bothered about the boobs and just went for the bottle; I think the bf was more for comfort - for her and me - so I am glad we kept it up even if only for 4 months.

I am trying to keep an open mind for this time but I know I got myself in a slightly horrible place over it last time, and I have promised myself (as well as my DH and Mum!) that I won't do that this time, so I am happy to move to FF if necessary this time, and won't beat myself up if I do. Great to know we have some BF experts for support on this thread though - I think support, whether online, in real life or over the phone seems to make the difference in getting it cracked (excuse the nipple based pun).

I had my 16wk midwife appt last Friday (although I am 17+1 today) and it was lovely - very straightforward with no weighing (hooray) and we heard the heartbeat which was lovely especially as Mum and DD were with me. DD tells me she has a baby in her tummy too, but I have told her it's not allowed to come out for at 25 years!

I thought I would try to re-start Pistachio?s suggestion of getting our stats in one place ? so here?s the beginnings of a list for anyone else to add their info to:

Alyssa1978, DS3, EDD 02/12/13
PistachioTruffle, DC1, EDD 11/12/13
Lisbapalea, DC2, EDD 21/12/13