Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

Hey ladies of the group I am doomed never to join! Hope you are all well and getting excited now the first due dates are looming. And frog in case you didn't see I posted a gushy MSG saying how truly over the moon I am for you. What's happened to mother of cleo, has she name changed?

Hi Merkin, you will absolutely be here soon. Get theeself shagging though, I have seen by stalking the other thread that you have fallen off the wagon.

Mother is here somewhere, she probably just hasn't got as much hot air as the rest of us

Quod, appreciate it probably doesn't offer all that much comfort but just to add that I also had three bleeds before 12 weeks, two brown and not too heavy but one red and a much more significant amount, as terrifying as it is, it doesn't always mean the worst

Hi Merkin

Ouch I certainly should slow down a bit, achy from the gym this morning and generally not comfortable.
BabyNutt has had a growth spurt seemingly overnight. I had the same around 21-22 weeks when I suddenly went from looking chubby to looking pregnant. And now i've gone from looking pregnant to looking like I've swallowed a massive beach ball, I kid you not. 5 weeks to go..

Take it easy hazle!

What stage is generally seen as safe to have a baby, at the earliest, does anyone know? Guess it varies?

hazle I can't believe how much you can still do. Am overcome with awe on almost a daily basis. But yes, slowing down a bit now is a good idea I'm sure!

alex I know that babies are considered "viable" from about 24 weeks (although my friend Daz's mate (your DH prob knows his mate actually) had a baby at 23 weeks who survived despite poor chances and is a healthy 3 year old now). When the midwife was talking to me about the possibility of me having to deliver early, she said that from 34 weeks all will be fine, and it's a big landmark in that way. But she also said that even if I had to be admitted to hospital then and there (was 29+6) the baby would be fine, just have to stay in hospital for a while, but the odds were that it would almost certainly be healthy and well and home relatively quickly, so said not to worry at all if that had to happen. From 37 weeks is considered full term.

quod - how are things? been thinking of you, can't imagine how stressful the blood must have been for you. Hopefully all is well though.

Oh, just found this. Seems to support what the midwife said (fine at 30 weeks, but even better at 34). Amazing that there's an 80% chance at just 26 weeks.

Length of Pregnancy Likelihood of Survival
23 weeks 17%
24 weeks 39%
25 weeks 50%
26 weeks 80%
27 weeks 90%
28-31 weeks 90-95%
32-33 weeks 95%
34+ weeks Almost as likely as a full-term baby

Janey that list is really interesting, and yes surprising that the chances are so good so early. These babies are resilient little buggers

I think there may be an issue around being mentally prepared when bubs arrives early though. My friend now thinks she had undiagnosed PND after her baby arrived at 36 weeks because she just wasn't mentally prepared for it. I am 34+1 and can honestly say I am not mentally ready for a baby to arrive.

Hazle no doubt you will also be putting us all to shame by doing body combat the day after the birth. Superwoman

Morning all,

Sorry to hear of the drama Quod and continuing angst Alex. Like others said, brown blood is usually fine, not that that helps level out the emotional trauma. A watching brief seems very sensible Alex... just take it easy and try and find ways to relax a bit.

That table is amazing Janey - I remember seeing my aunt when I was 24 weeks. She's a consultant neonatal neurosurgeon and she said even then that 24 weeks was about the time that neurosurgeons start to breathe a little easier. It's genuinely incredible.

At some point Hazle you're going to have to take it a little easier! You're doing amazing but yuk at body-pump induced heartburn.

I feel like I may also be in growth spurt territory at the moment - bump feels bigger and like BabyBear suddenly has less room (yesterday, I had something lodged in my diaphragm when I sat in certain positions). Am also very very tired. Still not put any weight on in best part of three weeks, tho am definitely getting bigger.

Weird

Absolutely cavort. I was with a friend last night who had her baby seven weeks early, and knew for a couple of days it was going to happen. She said that all she kept saying to her DH at that point was that she thought they'd done the wrong thing as she wasn't ready to be a mum! No PND for her, but a massive case of self doubt...

And agree about hazle - she'll be doing body combat whilst I will probably be considering relocating to the lounge to save me the effort of going upstairs to bed!

Cavort that's really interesting about your friend - things not going as expected is a massive trigger for maternal mental health issues. Someone I know did a lot of research about this, especially in women whose waters broke prematurely. Because it was so unexpected, it really messed with their heads - the same professor is now researching other elements of how expectations of being/becoming a mother effect mental health - especially around the illusion of birth choices - ie why women who end up with instrumentation/EMCS feel like a 'failure'.

In case you have not received enough conflicting info, Alex, here is an article about bed rest and shortened cervix:
www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/14/bed-rest-premature-birth_n_3272355.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

Good point about not being prepared. Certainly a shock it you expect to have a month or so to go and baby arrives tomorrow. I know plenty of women who had their babies early, so have also been trying to take into account the possibility that it could actually happen any day now.

I don't know about not 'mentally' ready, I'm just not actually READY!

Still lacking an awful lot of baby essentials in the purple household and given that 'my stupid liver' (this has become the actual technical term for this illness in my house) causes a higher incidence of premature natural labour, and given that really I'd actually LIKE to evict the little monster slightly early just to avoid the induction they're insisting on otherwise, I really, really need to shake off this relaxed attitude and actually get organised.

I just can't seem to make myself worry about it all. I KNOW I used to be more stressy and therefore, more organised than this before but these pregnancy hormones seem to have sent me into a zen like trance of 'meh, why worry, it will all be alright'. Poor wee mite could end up sleeping in a drawer at this rate But just over 6 weeks until due date is absolutely ages...right?...WHY IS MY PANIC MODE BROKEN???

Oh and I know you don't believe me, but honestly, sports is easy. Putting shoes on, cutting toenails, getting out of bed 3 times per night to pee - way more difficult than just standing there doing squats or bicep curls.

Brave I have also read some studies on the subject, and is why my birth preferences basically says we are open to anything so long as the baby (and Mum!) are safe. I really don't think I can mentally prepare for premature birth though. No matter what I do I will be shocked if baby arrives any earlier than about 38 weeks.

On the weight gain front, I didn't gain any weight at all from 28-32 weeks... but seem to be making up for it now with the appetite of a horse

My belly button is going to 'pop' any time now

Hazle despite constant Kegels, I really don't think I could currently squat confidently without worrying about leakage

That's a relief Cavort! As to belly button, somedays it pops out, and somedays it goes flat. I think it depends what Baby Bear's up to - when back is on my tummy, it pops out and when it's elsewhere it doesn't.

It's weird though, it's not hard when it is out, just squidgy. But then I have always had a very very flat belly button all my life, it's never been a proper inny either... (previous a very skinny bear - my belly button piercing in my young 20s wouldn't take because there wasn't enough skin so I do have a little scar from that, which has also stretched flat now!).

quod there are tons of people with spotting on my jan 14 thread & someone found a statistic that it happens to 25% of women. I know it's easy to say but try not to worry. Have you thought about paying for an additional scan if you're really worried?

One of my friends had her daughter & twins very premature tho I admit I don't know how early. I know she's never made it to an antenatal class though! They are all totally healthy now.

Oh & her first time she was on a work conference in Brighton & thought she had food poisoning from dinner when the contractions started! Baby was almost born in hotel room! Luckily her DH works with her so was there too.

Hi merkin I am still here have another bloody cold/sore throat bug so am at home napping like a granny! The lessened immune system sucks, i've had 2 colds and a coldsore in 15 weeks....oh the joys.

You will be here soon enough.

You ladies are not full of hot air at all I'm just boring at the mo, nothing going on and nowt exciting to add, I am always lurking though

Hello Mother nice to hear from you but sorry about cold/throat rubbish.

The immune system thing sucks. The abscess I got early doors was caused by that, although other than that, I've only had one cold thus far

I have found myself being a bit weirdy about other people and germs lately - much more inclined to avoid sniffly folks, wash my hands more than usual, much more careful with food hygeine etc.

Oh yes, even a tiny common cold when pregnant is a massive pain in the arse, as you can't really take anything. We got the same bug with DH and usually my immune system is far superior, but this time he just took some normal cold remedies and was fine in a day, while I suffered the better part of the week.

Ok so this is going to sound stupid but... I'm having a massive wobble. It's just suddenly hit me all the things I have to get and do before baby comes, and, worst of all, I'm going to have to go to hospital.

I don't know if this is a delayed reaction to my only experience of hospital when I ended up in urgent surgery in December. Or if this is an oh crap I'm going to have to give up all control fear. Or an 'I don't want strangers poking around in/on me'. Or an I really don't want to be separated from DP for god knows how long thing. Or I don't know enough about the hospital and what it looks/smells like.

I'm just freaking out a bit. Homebirth not an option - DP won't allow it (too messy) and I tend to agree about the risk being slightly higher for a wimpy first timer.

Someone tell me to get a grip please.

Oh brave - I think it's very common to have a panic like this at about this stage. I'm sure it will happen to us all before D-days arrive.

Can you go on a tour of your local maternity unit, just so you have a 'feel' for it before you go? Might help you feel more relaxed in the run up to the birth, and indeed once you're there.

And I know there is LOADS to do before baby comes (my house is a shit tip, with a roof that currently leaks in THREE places, and as such, four different ceilings need replastering/redecorating) but the point it that really, you will get it all done. And if you don't, nothing terrible will happen. Babies need somewhere to sleep, clean nappies, something to wear and boobs. Anything beyond that can wait if it has to, or if baby arrives early.

Try not to panic - and remind me of these words when I inevitably start to panic at any time soon!

Have to say Janey the mention of boobs as a requirement did just make me smile. I know you're right... just need a deep breath or three and to get my list-pad out tonight I suspect.

I'll definitely be asking about a tour, I think it will be hugely beneficial, especially as my last hospital trip wasn't that pleasant (not same hospital, but next door and connected by a walkway that every time I drive past I wonder 'is that the way to surgery or does the women's hosp have its own theatres' etc)

I feel for you and your roof situation! Hopefully it's not too difficult/painful/expensive to sort.

Oh and will definitely remind you that all will be well when you hit the big red panic button