Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

Lol Hazle I think this is actually something we're supposed to aspire to, as it means BabyNutt has gone head down and giving you 'the bowling ball' sensation

I occasionally am a bit slow when I start off if I've been sat down for a while because my coccyx keeps getting sore and stiff - but I'm usually bounding about like my usual Tigger self within a minute or so!

Me too Brave. DH says I'm like a granny for the first few paces these days, what with my dodgy hips an all. And ever since breaking my foot the first few steps after being immobile for a while are really stiff and make me limp. I really am a sight to behold getting out of bed these days

I fear I started waddling quite a while ago but I blame my dodgy hips! I think that article may have cured me of my pregnancy body dysmorphia as even though I've endured another morning of lots and lots of virtual strangers commenting on how big I am, I don't think I look as big/any bigger than some of those ladies and my due date is right at the beginning of July so it's making me wonder what everyone is wittering on about!
I'm really not a fan of the idea of being stuck in hospital and if it weren't for the risk of complications due to my stupid liver, I think we would have gone for a home birth. As it is I'm hoping to be allowed to give birth at the MLU and be sent home to my own bed as soon as possible. As much as I might not know what I'm doing, I'm sure I'd feel better not knowing what I'm doing at home, I really hate people fussing around me when I feel like crap.

I definitely find it harder to get up from the sofa, often demand that DH rolls me off pulls me up. But once I'm up, I'm fine, still in heels and can walk normally.

Oh, and at least so far, my feet have not grown. Hope they can behave for those last few weeks as well, I have a massive amount of shoes.

Glad it's not just me! It reminds me of a Billy Connolly stand-up gig I saw years and years ago... he said the definiteion of getting old was when you start making involuntary noises when getting up and sitting down.

I'm ancient by that logic!

Purple if it makes you feel better, I just had someone tell me my bump appeared before me round corners these days... followed by someone else, who was due nearly to the same day last year, congratulating me on how neat my bump is. Tis very funny. Definitely feel better after seeing those pictures. Tho word of warning that she didn't get any stretch marks til gone 37 weeks so will stop feeling smug for being line free at the minute and start redoubling creaming efforts asap

Good news on the shoe front Hazle - so far, so good for me, too.

yes Brave that's what all the people I've talked to have said, stretch marks appeared around 37-38 weeks only.

Oh great, something to look forward to then I did think I was doing well on the stretch mark front given that my efforts to rub cream into it lasted less than a week.

Argh I don't know what to do - just had a second opinion on my cervix and this consultant doesn't think I should do an elective stitch now and thinks we should wait and keep scanning regularly. However the guy yesterday said he thinks an early elective stitch is more effective than trying to 'save' an opening cervix later as an emergency. The second-opinion consultant is calling my usual consultant to discuss the differing opinions (although surely this will annoy my regular one - a bit like cheating?! I want to keep seeing both but am worried my usual will get annoyed, don't think he can refuse though hopefully). I'll be back in two weeks for scans so hopefully no drastic cervix changes before then. Really struggling with this and wishing I was back to worrying about stuff like what food I can eat and whether I can fly in pregnancy! What would you all do?

Ah good news Alex, been thinking of you. This was the guy that was recommended to you by a colleague, who has an excellent reputation? Did he scan you rather than prodding around? If yes to both, then I'd imagine he's got a better idea than the other guy of what's going on and what does or doesn't need to be done. As such I would def be trusting his opinion. Did they give you any measurements or anything, so you can go away and do your own research?

Don't worry re: second opinion - they're very used to it, and it's your right.

what objections does the second guy have?

Oh, and I have never worried about either what to eat or flying - have done lots of both! It seems that these worries (liver issues, pre-eclampsia, cervix length etc) are just sent to try us...

alex wait and see what he tells you after they have had a chat, they shouldnt
't be bothered by this at all, its part of their job! really don't worry about him being annoyed, you are entitled to be as informed as possible for you to make a decision.
If they are happy to keep monitoring you closely, find out exactly what this means, and what changes they would be looking for, just so you know what they are doing!!

He said it looked about 300mm (hacked away at the entrance) which isn't ridiculously short but he said it's very hard to see on a scan what's cervix and what's placenta and impossible to predict what will happen (as I looked at him with desperate eyes!)

At first he was just saying their policy is to only do the stitch late on when you definitely 100% need it. They do precautionary stitches, but only really following a history of previous late mc. I said I can't afford a late mc before they are cautious so I need caution with this baby.

His objections were it's surgery, risk of infection, they don't know for sure it will make a massive difference at all, it could do more harm than good (although that doesn't seem to match with the success rate I'd seen online), I could be fine without it. It mainly just didn't seem to be his policy. It's the decision part of it all that's so hard. A friend of mine said her cousin lost a baby at 23 weeks due to cervix issues and then had a stitch put in next time and carried full term so she would insist on having it before I have to go through that.

my sister had bleeding with 'threatened mc' with her first, but was just given bed rest, i dont remember how ling this went on for (days not weeks). she was not offered a stitch with her second and did not have any issues, now has healthy happy daughter.
My sisters friend found out she was pg after emergency laproscopic surgey on a burst cyst, managed to keep the pregnancy, but she did bleed quite frequently through the pregnancy and barley left the house. She also went on to have a healthy happy daughter.
I am seeing this friend tomorrow and if she seems up for it I may be able to ask about the stitch, pretty sure she had one.
ont know if any of that was helpful at all, sorry x

Yes please foody any stitch/cervix scan stories would be helpful

Random one alex, but have you heard of Professor Kypros Nicolaides? I have read a lot about him on MN and the tinterweb in general. Think he's one of the leading professors in the UK, and actually almost in the world, on pre-natal research and care. Anyway, when I was looking at organising my private 12 week scan I saw he operates out of Kings and also the Fetal Medicine Centre. Anyway, if you really are worried, maybe look into trying to see him? I had decided that if my downs risk wasn't low I wanted to see him before any invasive tests, and wonder if getting the opinion of someone so internationally respected might be of help? Or maybe a third opinion would just muddy the waters some more...

Oh Alex, what a dilemma. I really don't envy you having to decide and I really don't know what I would do in your shoes. I think maybe you should get the hard facts and then decide yourself following doing as much of your own research as possible.

Really feel for you Alex, your head must be spinning with all of it, hope you can find some good information which will help you make an informed choice.

I think I've decided to wait and see, for now, with regular scans, another one in two weeks. Have heard from my usual consultant and it sounds like I can see them both separately for scans so two opinions. If it gets shorter, I'll ask for weekly scans and ask their opinion on when it's stitch-time. I am feeling so down about it - just for a couple of hours yesterday I could enjoy my pregnancy, was so happy, and now I can't even look at my lovely baby scan pic without bursting into tears! Thanks for the support

Poor you Alex . So annoying that the joy at seeing your scan has turned into such a nightmare. I would suggest just avoiding any hasty decisions until you feel you have all the facts, can talk it over with DH and reach a joint rational decision.

I've booked a scan for 8 weeks. Rather bizarrely the clinic said that there was loads of availability that evening as people tend to leave booking to the last minute & I'm booking 3 weeks ahead. Eh? I don't understand that at all. Surely if you're a worrier like me an impatient type you know whether you want an early scan or not? Unless people do it when they get worried by symptoms or something I guess.

Poor alex

Back from the gym. Have to admit that Tae Bo is now getting quite difficult and I got an annoying heartburn from it. Hopefully Bodypump tomorrow will still be ok, would like to teach it for a couple of more weeks, but will see.

Hazle you really are the bionic woman!

Oh Alex that's a horrible dilemma but sounds like you have thought out a sensible course of action and have got good care on hand. I appreciate your concern about the 'wait and see' attitude, and I know it can feel like your outcome is just a statistic to them sometimes, but the flip side of that is that they look at cervixes all day everyday and probably have a very good feel (scuse the terrible pun) for when things can be safely left. I really sympathise with you not being able to feel happy about the pg because of the worry, it's a really really hard set of emotions to cope with.

I have had a tiny tiny amount of brown spotting in the last 48 hrs - loads of very mundane possible reasons why, logically (it was after sex, have a known cervical ectropian which has caused spotting before, scan showed up some implantation bleeding in womb which she warned might show up as spotting) but still the frightened part of my brain managed to stay up half the night terrifying myself about the possibility of a second MC. It is truly horrible and very hard to keep the 'good' statistics uppermost in your mind.

Oh quod I would have got so anxious too. Brown is good though, old blood, better than red. Has it stopped now?

Also, sex, what's that? so glad I have my sex ban in place to try and help my cervix! Have decided I'm going to have a VERY boring summer, staying home with feet up as much as poss, as am reading online that some people with cervix issues take bed rest.

I don't know if you remember Quod but I had 2 bouts if bleeding prior to 12 weeks (4 if you count the 2 before BFP). It really is very common in early pregnancy. I believe brown is a good sign as it's old blood, although mine was bright red and accompanied by cramping and still all was fine. Only natural to be worried though, can you perhaps phone your MW for reassurance?