Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

Baby cycle? Wow, mine's getting a bog standard quick wash I'm afraid, it's not even dirty after all bad Mummy and our machine was bought during OHs bachelor days (although i'm apparently the only one in the house who knows how it works) so without a doubt does not do anything so posh!

I personally wouldn't worry about going out an about, what's the worst that can happen? Its not like giving birth is a ten minute process! Where I live you need to drive at least half an hour to get to the shops and more like an hour if you want half decent shops/ a 'city' and I'm not seeing that as a reason to be housebound. Our nearest ikea is bloody miles away in Bristol though (about 2 hours) so I'll maybe give that a miss

My washing machine has a baby cycle that I think is a really long boil wash, to get all the stubborn stains out. Before wearing I just used a short cycle.

Cavort in vast majority of cases and especially with first babies, you could be happily walking around in early labour for ages -the average lenght of first labour is 8 hours, and that's calculated only from 3-4 dilation. I would say it is very unlikely to only have 10 minutes from the first contraction to baby and even if that's the case, so you are unable to drive and DH can't pick you up, you would simply call an ambulance. So no, I don't think you should be under house arrest.

Lol, I very patiently responded with 'a baby!' a few times, and 'either a boy or a girl...' once or twice. In normal circumstances, I'd be more snarky, but played it safe.

I don't see any need to stay close to home - so long as you have your notes with you. I'd probably say a day trip to the Hebrides/Isle of Wight would be a bit daft, but I don't think it's necessary to tie yourself to the front gate just in case...

Btw - totally reasonable to be mad at his phone dying, my DP never ever ever answers his mobile phone. I'm giving him two more weeks, then will be spellig out in no uncertain terms that he needs to pay attention to his phone. He says he can't answer it at work, and he couldn't in his previous role because he worked on phones, but he has no excuse now. His colleagues are hardly going to read the riot act for taking a call from heavily pregnant partner.

Hazle - my line manager doesn't have children. I think she thinks it happens in five minutes flat, and wanted someone to play catch.

I guess he's thinking 45 mins from home would take him 1h 45mins to come and fetch me if he was at work and I was having contractions so couldn't drive. I'm sure I could find a good samaritan other than DH to come rescue me if I found myself standing in IKEA contracting in a pool of my own waters.

My machine isn't a fancy one (like I said, I am not very domestic so a fancy washer would be totally lost on me), but it does have loads of different cycles which I never use because I don't know what they're for. I used the baby cycle but still put it on at 30 degrees. I was very impressed at myself for remembering to use non-bio though.

DH here was sternly told off for having the automatic network search off on his phone. Yes, it's more expensive if you don't notice you're not in France any more and take a long call, but considering where we live, he was always out of coverage whenever he happened to be in Switzerland or Germany.

Talking about DHs, mine is still nesting. Just insisted that we have to have a musical toy for DS. And not any toy, it must play specifically Brahms Lullaby. Honestly, I'm supposed to be the pregnant one with funny demands..

I've already had the 'phone' nag conversation, whether it had made any difference remains to be seen, my OH very often doesn't even seem to know where his phone is and has, on more than one occasion, left it in a customers car, given the car back then had to phone everyone whose car he's had and asked them to look for it!

at your DH Hazle. Mine is kind of nesting but not through choice as I keep adding things to his massive list of things to do before baby arrives. Brahms Lullaby will become the most annoying sound in the world if it doesn't have a few more to choose from!

Sis says one of the best things she's bought is a remote control crib mobile which they can turn on without getting out of bed and entertains/settles baby off so they can grab a bit more sleep.

So my last monday at work is rapidly turning into the LONGEST monday. Lordy, can't remember the last time a day dragged this much!

I guess it's not being helped by the fact my Nan had another stroke first thing this morning . Long story but am just sat here clock watching waiting for any news on her condition. If it's bad I will really, really want to go and see her. In fact, even if it's not I will want to see her, but work will prevail. Thankfully I saw her a fortnight ago when she was last admitted.

The six hour round car trip to get there doesn't worry me, but I'm stressing about missing a day in the office during my last week at work. Hopefully she won't be too bad and I can go and see her at the weekend...

Had my last NCT class yesterday (apart from a breast feeding session this week with another leader). Everyone has swapped details, and we're all so close it's lovely. However I'm getting a bit worried as we're now all adding each other as friends on FB, and if you just glance at my photos it's pretty clear I was a right boozer before getting pregnant, whereas they all seem to look lovely, sober and grown up in theirs (despite all being younger than me). Hope they don't judge!

Oh god, why do I do it to myself? I seriously need to learn how to relax. Not content with washing, cleaning, dyeing my hair, lugging the vaccum cleaner up and down the stairs etc I suddenly decided my dog desperately needed a bath (well she was pretty filthy).

Picture this; naked massive pregnant lady and German shepherd locked in a woman v dog wrestling match in the confines of a corner shower cubicle with no room to move as the drain rapidly clogs with dog hair and mud until we're ankle deep in filthy water that's stubbornly refusing to drain until eventually I have to concede defeat or flood the bathroom and declare her clean enough.

So now I'm knackered with an only marginally cleaner, pissed off and still in some places slightly soapy and in others slightly muddy still dog, with the filthiest bathroom in the south west, water running down the feckin walls where the dog shook and a mountain of saturated dog towels to wash and coated in a fine layer of sticky wet dog fur myself.

If ever I needed a bloody big glass of wine...

So sorry Janey, didn't see your post, hope your Nan is ok

Thanks purple

And I'm sorry to say that, but your post really made me laugh. I'm a bad virtual friend, I know, but it was too funny. Urm, hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you have to be naked?!

Purple I did indeed picture that. And had a wry chuckle (sorry). Tis a fab image! Hope you get mud/soap out of dog/walls/pregnant lady and normality returns at some point soon!

Janey oh no that's terrible news about your nan - and so much harder when they're far away. Totally understand not wanting to bail in your last week though - but if it comes to it, you'll regret not seeing your nan so sod work if needs be.

Really hope you get some better news soon.

And I'm sure your posh NCT friends won't judge you - they'll just be jealous of the confidence in your no de-tag policy

I/we start our classes tomorrow. A bit late, possibly, at 33 weeks (and there's six sessions), but looks like DP will be coming to the first at least

Sorry to hear janey

Brave I wash our dogs mostly naked as well - otherwise I'll just get all wet.

I'm glad I could give you all a chuckle, I did have enough humour about me to laugh at myself! Naked is definitely easiest when you're a standing IN the shower cubicle with the dog which is the only way without a bath in the house, skin dries much faster than clothes and I get totally soaked!

Terrible news about your Nan Janey. I hope she's better soon.
Don't worry about your FB photos. If people judge you on that rather than the person they have met and like enough to exchange details then they are probably not worth knowing. DH and I met on Facebook (on a social app not even a dating one) and I was worried my mostly-pissed-up photographs would put him off but quite the opposite it would seem.

Hilarious mental image of you naked wrestling a big wet dog Purple We get Dial-a-Dog-Wash round when he starts honking. It's expensive for a big dog but worth it. They work miracles, the dog smells nicer than us when he emerges from the back of the van.

Afternoon all. Sorry to hear about your nan Janey. I hope you get some news soon.

Purple that is the funniest thing I've read all day & cheered me up immensely as I've had a terrible day.

Long & short of it is that my company has decided my role is not working out & offered me a lump sum settlement to leave. If I don't take the offer then I'll basically be forced out at a later date on performance grounds. I've been hating my job recently anyway but was planning to stick it out till maternity then potentially not go back. They have no idea that I'm pregnant either. The package they've offered works out as only slightly less than what I would have got for rest of year & maternity pay but I had no intention of giving up work at less than 12 weeks pg! I can hardly get another job knowing I'd be there less than 6m before I went on maternity either. Timing totally sucks. Waiting to speak to my employment lawyer friends to get some advice.

Oh frog that's bloody awful. Hope you get some good advice. Absolutely the last thing you need at the moment

Oh Frog the timing really is shite isn't it? I mean it's good news if you do hate it but twiddling your thumbs for 6 months until baby turns up isn't great. I don't think it's completely unheard of for women to get jobs while pregnant and you are under no obligation to tell a prospective or current employer until 25 weeks. I think I have seen threads on MN where women have told prospective employers in the interview and still been offered the job. It sounds like you have good backup if you have employment lawyer friends.

Holy crap Frog that's awful

Definitely get some good advice on board. Re starting a new job pregnant, they can't not give you a job on the grounds that you're pregnant, but you wouldn't be entitled to SMP/maternity pay...

Fingers crossed you get some good advice.

Frog you can claim Maternity Allowance if you have been employed or self-employed for at least 26 weeks in the 66 weeks before the week your baby is due. I think it's paid at the same rate as SMP but without the first 6 weeks at 90%.

Bloody hell, I'm so sorry Frog and Janey that you're both having such a shit day, feel a bit bad for posting such frivolous nonsense when you're dealing with the doodah hitting the proverbial fan

Is it worth looking for temporary work/short contacts or anything Frog? The timing really is shitty for you

frog certainly talk to a lawyer. Sure nobody knows about your pregnancy? Would be quite easy to make it into a discrimination case - certainly does look like they decided to get rid of you the minute you got pregnant. You might be able to push for a better settlement at least.

Indeed hazle. It's a shame in a way if they don't know - in many ways I think you're more protected once you're pregnant! Is there anyway they could have known?

or you of course would not do it, but I would hypothetically, one could claim that they did know..

Wow, sorry to hear Frog and Janey have had such bad news today. That is shitty on both counts. Frog, I agree that you should check very carefully re employment rights. In the worst-case scenario, one way of looking at it is that at least you won't be significantly worse off (if I have understood correctly) and could potentially be better off of you can find something temporary in the meantime and claim SMP? I know the lack of security must be scary (perhaps less so for me cause I am self-employed so no maternity leave/pay here anyway, so perhaps I am inclined to look at the 'opportunity' side of it?).

Janey I hope your nan gets better soon. If you need to, make sure you prioritise her over work, even if it does cramp your final week. I think quite often women feel a huge sense of responsibility and guilt towards work and colleagues when sometimes personal stuff should just be put first. I know you will make a good call on it but hope you don't have to make the choice.

My woe moment today is very very trivial in comparison - discovering that now the sun has come out, Tescos have DOUBLED the price of the ice lollies that I have become addicted to to fend off the nausea. I am getting through 2 an evening at the moment. Bastards. On the other hand I have discovered eating ice lolly on the bus stops me vomming in the park when I get off. Classy lady, me.