Graduated Elerberries - 30+ and expecting DC1 (thread no 4)

[HazleNutt]

Welcome old and new graduates and everybody else who wants to join us, elderly primigravidas aka Elderberries.

In my area they advise cellular blankets not gro-bags for newborns as they are better for preventing overheating.

Oh I love massages purple! You wouldn't like my boss, she has a habit of touching me on the shoulder or arm when talking to me and it is irritating!

Thanks hazle will look into a grow bag. Think the sleepyheads cushion is ok as the baby sleeps on it, a bit like a mattress.

Frog his adamance in insisting on only his name would make me boil more determined to get what I want. We live in an equal society so why should one parent's name take priority over the other's just because of tradition? Stand your ground and good luck!

Janey I seem to get more BH when I'm walking long distances. Well, I say long distances but half an hour out with the dog is a long distance these days. I had a terrible bout last week in Cornwall after DH made me walk about 5 miles over rough terrain and then up this massive cliff face to the pub because, 'it didn't look too strenuous on Google Maps.' I woke up that night and they were quite painful to the extent that DH was getting worried that a baby was on the way which would serve him right for taking us on a totally inappropriate trek to the pub!

Cross post will look into cellular blankets, never heard of those (again, so much to learn!) I'd really better start writing some of this down!

I still don't think I've noticed any BH, what do they feel like? And if they're supposed I be sort if 'practice' contractions then why isn't my body rehearsing hmm? It needs to get on with it!

That's exactly the sort of person I mean Alex - irritating to you maybe but actually makes me shudder and feel a bit clammy though if my boss did it I would be ok as I've known her years. Maybe it's another symptom of my only child syndrome

Cellular blankets Alex = posh term for blankets with holes in them!

...which they probably then charge you twice the price for because they're for babies.

I have bought 1 tog and 2.5 tog 0-6m Grobags, but I don't think they're recommended for use until baby is at least 4kg so I will be using a cellular blanket for at least the first few weeks (I hope baby is smaller than 4kg at birth!)

Alex I got a couple of small cellular blankets from Mothercare for about £7 each but I then spotted some in Primark for about £3.

Purple apart from when I've overdone it and they get a bit painful, my BH are just painless tightenings which you could easily not notice.

So can you tell the difference between that and your SPD then cos when I've overdone it everything hurts so I'm not sure I'd know the difference!

Osteopath advised I sit on a gym ball at my desk instead of a chair, not sure about that one, would feel like a right wally!

Must be one of those things they do differently in different countries - here I have a grobag even on my hospital bag list, so apparently they use those for newborns too.

Which reminds me that I should probably think about packing that bag as well.

Yes it's funny how different some of the advice is isn't it. I even notice it between the different ante natal classes I go to with work, I guess all the midwife stuff is the same but the bit the children's centre do on bathing, nappy changing etc differs wildly between two of the towns. I think it's down to the fact that one of the members of staff is a mum of two so gives practical/real life based on experience advice and the other is a bloke who very much sticks to guidelines and rules in his advice.

I haven't packed either Hazle and I still need to order one of Cavort's sexy maternity nighties...although you probably should get on with it sooner than me given your due date! That said I'm sure if we had to we could all lob stuff in a bag last minute and be absolutely fine. I only live half an hour away from the hospital after all!

Purple you can get kind of half-gym ball things that go on the seat of your chair and have kind of the same effect at making you sit up straight and not slouch and work your core. Like a small inflatable cushion. Ask work to get you one?

My pg moan for the day is a new type of boobie pain. Like dull electric shocks through the nipples. Ow. Plus there was someone on my bus this morning that smelt of manure. Boak.

Hazle I haven't heard anyone advising against using them for newborns until Purple just said. It's just lots of newborns are under 4kg, which is the manufacturer's own recommendation to avoid if baby weighs less than that. So long as you use the appropriate tog for the air temperature I can't see them being a problem.

Purple the BH are accross my bump whereas the SPD makes my hips and pelvis really sore if I have overdone it so there is definitely a difference, although I do get more obvious BH and sore pelvis together when I have done too much.

I'm not sure about those BH either - the bump sometimes gets kind of tight and feels harder, is that it?

Good idea Quod I'll look into one thanks!

Can't remember if it was a health visitor or a midwife that said about the gro-bags but they said newborns can be too small for them and slip down inside them and that they can overheat in a gro-bag when they're tiny and cellular blankets are more breathable so better for regulating temp. Think she said gro-bags from 3 months were fine. No idea if that's right or just an opinion but it was definitely a professional that said it.

My NCT leader said that grobags and cellular blankets fine from birth BUT to make sure we have really, really low tog ones (for those of us with summer babies) AND that if your baby is on the small side, it may well be too small for the grobag from day one. As such, I've bought cellular blankets for the start and will get grobags towards the autumn I think. And alex don't fear - at NCT they bring in blankets and pretend babies and teach you useful things like how to tuck them in at night so the blankets are safe and don't get in the way. Phew, I would have had NO idea.

Really laughed at the baby/knob size comment!

Oh dear frog - definitely think some wikisexedpedia wouldn't go amiss there!

I hardly ever get painful BH, but do notice my belly going solid every so often - it's supposed to happen every 15 mins or so from as early as 16 weeks, but they gradually become painful as the muscles get stronger.

The painful ones I get are stretching pains I think, often hastened by dehydration. Had one the other day that lasted over an hour - like a dull ouchy cramp near my bellybutton. Baby had a limb poking nearby and it had sent something into spasm I think.

Weird question of the day... does anyone else have a bulge in the middle of their belly when lying down? Noticed this in the bath the other day as I lay back, basically, there's a massive gap between what I assume are were my tummy muscles that bulges outwards - it's a good 2 inches wide, all the way from belly button to ribs. Am a bit bothered that it's diastasis recti - but it could be totally normal!

Don't know on that one Bear, sorry, my bump is so asymmetrical at the moment I've got weird lumps and bumps sticking out all over the place.

Quick straw poll, if your OH wanted to go away for a couple of nights two weeks before your due date would you say it was ok? OH informed me last night that he wants to go away to some boys with toys playing with guns thing and do I mind?

My first instinct was to say yes of course it's fine as he never goes anywhere and it's only 2/3 hours away (although I imagine he will want a few beers while he's there) but now I'm feeling slightly nervous at the prospect but I don't want to stop him going. It only happens once a year so he can't just go another time, chances are it will be absolutely fine, it's just that little niggly 'what if...' but I don't want to stop him going for the sake of some silly little 'what if' worry which turns out to be nothing. I'll be 38 weeks. Your thoughts?

I've noticed that if I'm lying in bed and try to get up, my muscles kind of go up into a kind of point. Not a distinct point at all, but kind of a bit like a tent instead of being flat. But if I lie flat it's a definite round like I've swallowed a whole melon: I'm enormous

Purple if he could get to the hospital in time (we can hope, but 2 hour labours are rare) and manages to take it easy on beer, I'd probably be ok. You can get to the hospital without him, yes?

Oh and purple I think I agree with hazle. Odds of something happening before he can get back are really, really slim - unfortunately most first labours take a lot lot longer than three hours! But I think I would want him to be in a fit state to drive back at any given time, just in case...

Thanks Janey was slightly alarmed when I read somewhere evil google it can be a bad thing, but I think it's only really bad if it stays that way a long time after birth.

Purple I'd be inclined to say don't go if I'm honest. I am very laid back as a rule, but think that's a bit much - why should he get all the fun when you're stuck at home worrying about every little twinge?

If he does go (indeed, you might want the space lol), I'd definitely ask that he doesn't drink and that he has his phone with him and he will answer it AT ANY TIME.

Given some of your dramas, it is totally not unreasonable to think about you first here!

Tricky one purple - agree with janey labour would usually last longer than the journey. I'd ask him to stay sober but would worry that he would get there and cave in and have a few drinks. I'd try and have a serious conversation with him about whether he can realistically go on a boy's wkend and not drink and if he definitely could and really wanted to go, then I'd probably say go but keep his phone on loud!

Is anyone else feeling bad/guilty about work and mat leave? My boss wants me to keep my pregnancy secret for now from clients, so she can tell them and manage it as it's an "extremely difficult" situation and we need to work out how we're going to handle it and my mat cover etc. Made me feel like it's a dirty secret! I also know a couple of my clients very well on friendly terms so seems weird to have to hide it until she's "ready to break the news"! And I have a little bump already!

God I hate your bosses alex. It's only a difficult situation because they don't do any work, and all your clients know it as well. They'll just be worried about losing all of their business because you're off for a year, and they only retain their clients because of you! I'd just be honest and say you will keep quiet for a week or two, but you're already starting to show so really they need to have a plan of action within the next two weeks as you won't be able to keep quiet about it for any longer, nor would you want to.