October 2013, anomaly scans, boy, girls and little surprises :-)

[Natalieand]

Welcome to thread number 7 (of many) of the October bus xxx

Nothing sad about deciding to be a SAHM Falcon or wanting to study if that's what interests you. Defo don't beat yourself up about lack of motivation, I've never cared less about work than I do now- exams are coming up so I'm doing all I can to support the kids but the office politics side of it is going over my head, really not interested! I have considered being a SAHM and ATM it's finances ruling it out but I won't let go of the idea completely and defo don't think it's any 'lesser' than working, it's individual choice to be based on you and your family's needs.

Sorry for going on! Good luck with the assignment, don't beat yourself up

Falcon we had silver cross sleepover for dc1 and dc2 and lived it. Bulky but super for walking, napping etc. I would have used it for dc3 but some mice took up residence in it and have left it only fit for the bin

Thanks feminist means a lot we dont have much money but we have no mortgage and only low rent dh pay covers the bills and we get by but I love being here for them all and childcare is so expensive!

jelly good to hear made a decent choice buying the sleepover sorry the mice got to yours, did you use it overnight?

wow... what a busy chatting day! I have no idea where to start!

falcon I'm going to give up a very successful career and well paid job after DC2 is born to be a SAHM for a couple / few years. Scary but I believe it's a very important job and I'm sure (hope? :-) it will be more than enough in the first few years! It's a lifestyle choice as DP has a job with lots of travelling and life would be extremely difficult to manage otherwise with two small children. I'm also sick and tired of office politics, backstabbing and power struggles. I want to be a nice mum and, right now, I am often so stressed and tired that I struggle. Please tell me some good things about being a SAHM!!

shooting I learned the same lesson after I came back from my first maternity leave. Once I was a mum, somehow they didn't care at all about making me happy... or about me in general! Took me about a year to get my old standing back. These big politically correct companies are all lovely but just try to scratch the surface... don't have too many scruples

umlauf I love Edith Miren and like Albert Julen

smitten I have a bulky buggy, similar to Stokke Crusi I guess... It's a German brand little known in the UK (Concord). They are indestructible, it still looks like new after DS1 and it was great even when he was 2 - so big and comfortable, he would nap in it for hours. Most of my Bugaboo friends had to buy a new bigger stroller after 9-10 months. But yes, getting into some shops or cafes was a challenge :-) so it's a choice!

Sounds like many of you have sexing scans soon. Jealous!!! 4th June here :-( And can't wait for your news!

interesting what someone said about hayfever and headaches. I've had a headache all say and now feeling quite sniffly and watery eyed. typical, not had hayfever in years and now get it when I'm not sure I can take anything!! need to see gp next week anyway so will put it on my list!!
glad everyone else is good. me and dp have been off today so done a massive spring clean. regretting it now though as I'm on my way to work and am exhausted!!

claphamama being a sahm mum is awesome it will take a little while to get used to slower pace of life but its great always being there for them and its meant a lot to my ds im a constant dad goes to work/uni but mums always there xx

I'd love nothing more than to be a SAHM, but I don't think we'll be able to afford it. I'll see how it goes while on Mat leave.

So much too catch up on!!

Wrt being a SAHM I gave up work when dd was born was we thought she would be our only child due to fertility problems and I didn't want to miss a single things it has its ups and downs. U can have as many pyjama days as u want when it's chucking it down. U never miss out on building a snow man. Your always first to have a nice summer tan lol. U of course get to see your little darlings blossom but unless u have a good group of friends it can be very lonely so my advice would be get out as much as u can cos once the novelty of having a newborn wears off ppl don't pop in to visit as often or ask how baby slept as often egg u have to make the effort to make sure u see everyone.

I went baby boy clothes shopping today and brought a cpl of baby grows and bibs looking forward to showing dh when he gets in from work today and I went to show my dad my scan pics as he is delighted to have a grandson as he has 7 grand daughters and 1 grandson ATM. So that's a step in the right direction for me right?

Headaches, sorry some of u seem to be having such a difficult time with them, I had a lot of migraine in the first 12 weeks but it seems to have calmed down a little since then hopefully it will stay that way

How exciting that u got a buggy falcon it isn't all about buying new anyway cos once you've stepped outside the door with it its no longer new anyway dh and I are fortunate a relative has offered to buy our buggy but if not we would have brought the same buggy but second hand. If u drive though my advice would be to try and get a new car seat if at all possible.

Beg my pardon if I'm wrong but do u have a sexing scan tommorow umualuf? Best of luck if you do :-) are you hoping for a particular flavour? Xx

NHS advice on hayfever meds when pregnant for all interested people: www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/935.aspx?CategoryID=54&SubCategoryID=129

ha a teenager at work just looked at me and declared "are you pregnant?!?" and then looked really horrified in case she was wrong. I can definitely no longer hide it then!!

Smitten, I have little red spots on my chest too, I have never had a spotty chest before being pregnant. I also have really dry skin everywhere else and cracked bleeding elbows and hands as of yesterday. Again a new joy.

Our plan at the moment is for me to be a SAHM, although I might try to go back to work part time and have another baby soon afterwards, or at least for 13 weeks so i don't have to pay back any of my maternity pay, but I am not sure it is worth it. I don't like the idea of paying for my child to be in full time childcare while I am being paid a similar amount to look after other people's children! Maybe i will go back part time if I find I miss work. At the moment I can't wait to escape it.

natalie, glad you're starting to feel a bit better.

smitten, same, would love to be SAHM, but finances would be difficult. Most of my friends who have done it were by far the lower earner in the couple. We earn about the same, I earn a little more, so the impact to our income would be massive.

I've been getting headaches too. More often if I'm not drinking gallons of water, but sometimes even then.

I went shopping at lunchtime, my first pregnancy shop! I'm still not brave enough to go baby shopping, maybe after the next scan and the final results?, but bought things for me: knickers, tummy rub cream and the ugliest bras known to mankind. They are hideous. But they fit and I suppose thats the main thing.....

I also bought some wool. My local John Lewis supports a charity called Bonnie Babies. If you buy the wool, they give you a pattern (changes every month or so), you take in what you've knitted and they give them to the charity that supports babies in special care units. So I bought the wool and have the pattern for 5 teeny, tiny hats. I'm not an experienced knitter and have never done anything this small but I'll see how I get on!

Enjoy Masterchef tonight, I'll be catching up tomorrow so probably avoiding the Internet until I do!

Phew Orange, at least I'm not the only spotty one. At least they're not on my face I guess, but I wouldn't mind being able to wear a summer dress this weekend without being paranoid about my disgusting spotty chest. Yuck!

I'm the same as you orange blossom. Spots on chest but really dry skin everywhere else.

MOAN ALERT. Don't get me wrong i love being pregnant but there are 2 things really really pissing me off:

1. People looking at me and say 'wow you have a massive bump...are you really just 16 weeks?' Yes but thanks a lot for making me feel really fat.

2. conversations that go like this.....'Being a mum is great but (insert a very patronising look) it is really hard work you know.' Errr really? I thought I was just going to chill out for the next year??? FFS. And the one that drives me even more mad 'get used to your lie ins you won't get them when you have a baby.' Now this would be fine if I was a big sleeper but I'm an insomniac and rarely get much sleep and never lie in longer than 630 in a very good day. And it's always friends who get at least 7 hours a night who say it to me (knowing full well that I sleep badly.)

Ok rant over. Hopefully I haven't ruined the nice thread with my grumpiness. I'm off to make a banana split.

Just sent DH out for a bag of Revels. Ha ha.

Yes people do say stupid things. One asked us "was it planned?" Really annoyed me.

I've had the 'make the most of your sleep, because when the baby comes..." The best one was "oh, thank god I'm over all that. The first year is the worst year of your life. It's worse than a year in hell." - Thanks for that!

Just catching up on the thread. Congrats on your scan results MoN and soup, and your house, flyer.

I'm another one with the stokke xplory (in blue). Think I might buy new covers for it if it's a girl though! We are having a surprise though, so if its a she, she will have a blue pram for a bit! DS will be just 3, definitely not buying a double buggy, if DS does want to go in the buggy, I'll have a sling for the baby.

Felt first definite kicks today, 16+4. Lovely.

Oh yeah smitten I forgot the 'was it planned ' one. Always tempted to say 'no the condom split'. But never brave enough.

Yes a few people said make the most of sleeping in, I haven't had a full nights sleep since about 4 weeks pregnant. I wake up for a wee at least once every night and usually wake properly between 3 and 5 and just doze then until the alarm goes off. I know it will be much worse with a newborn but certainly not feeling well rested at the moment!

Oh yes on the sleep comments! A colleague said that, I told her I was suffering from insomnia so was sleeping really badly. Her response? Well, you'll just have to force yourself to sleep.

All these years, if only I'd known it was that easy......

I was going to ask if anyone else was still having to get up in the night to pee, orangeblossom! So it's not just me, then?

Don't worry shire I'm at least 3 times a night!!

Phew!

As for the SAHM conversation. I'd love to, but I'm the higher earner (by a long way) so we really don't know if we can make it work. But we're not going to worry about making decisions until the New Year. And DH started a new job on Monday, with some real prospects to move on and up, so we'll just wait and see.

I've had the 'was it planned' one a lot, I had a right go at my sister! Errr yeah, we had a sudden brain wobble after 12 years of sex and forgot how condoms worked so went without?!

sparkleigh where was your DBS ex gf from?! I heard somewhere it is a Scottish name too? In Basque it means Mary/Maria. Our problem with Edith is that in Spain the Spanish will say edit, and Edie they would pronounce ed eee ay. We don't know how long we will stay here!

I visited the stokke and really liked how you can put the baby night and high up near you when you are walking, but they are less prominent on eBay unfortunately!

DH earns more than me, but its about 60:40 so it would be a big shift in income. It must be reasonable to live off one decent wage... Especially now we are not saving for house/wedding/honeymoon. And we have Maternity leave will be a good test, especially if we can save all my maternity pay.