Graduated Elderberries (numero 3)

[BraveLilBear]

Welcome back oh graduated elderberries. Let us discuss the delights of being over-30 first-timers with google obsessions

Oh and welcome back Cavort so pleased you had a fab time

I know what I'll be doing next week !

My American colleagues are asking about my baby shower plans and were of course shocked when I said that those are not common here, we have "see the baby" visits instead, after he's born. Apparently in the US it's not uncommon to have

a scan party where you either all look at the scan pics or better, ask a sonographer over so everybody can see the baby;
a sex reveal party, where you cut a cake with pink or blue filling, open a box of balloons or similar;
a baby shower, of course;
welcome to world party
christening

That sounds exhausting!

Excuse my language, but fuck that.
I've bored my closed friends with a snap on my phone of the scan. After the baby is born anyone who wants to come and meet it will be very welcome as long as it's not too soon post birth!
Not sure why you'd assume everyone else was as interested in your impending arrival as you are? Glad we're different in Europe hey

Jealous of all your compliments. I don't get any and am certainly not blooming. But thankfully, am 2/3 of the way there now, so hopefully I'll start to regain my normal size/shape/skin within a few months....

Closed = closest. Argh.

It's just so excessive. I can understand it in a context of women not having as many babies as they used to therefore it's more of an 'occasion', and it does seem rather narcissistic in the 'Sweet 16' lavish-lives-mean-you're-loved way.

My friend is having a baby shower which I'll go to... But I won't be having one. My mum and sisters cornered me at a family gathering the other week and told me they were throwing a baby shower for me. I said I really wasn't keen and thought the whole thing was a bit icky and would come across as grabby etc.

Eventually I relented that a girlie gathering would be nice, as long as there would be no presents etc. Thought it might be a way to get my family and OH's family to meet each other (the granpdarents have never met) and liked the idea of getting advice from my aunts and friends who are excited about junior's impending arrival.

So I told them which dates I wasn't available on (weddings) and drove the 2 and a half hours home. By the time I got there, I had a text from my mum saying the only date 'they' could all do was one of the wedding dates. I reiterated that I wasn't available then and she replied saying 'well that's what you get for having a summer baby as everyone's at weddings or festivals. nevermind'

So after finally entertaining the idea and coming round to it, I get it thrown back in my face for the audacity of having a summer baby. Was actually quite hormonal upset.

As for a welcome to the world party, pleeeease tell me this isn't a live birth video feed streamed by satellite to a room full of boozing yet tense relatives, waiting with cigar in hand...

Oh brave I'm so sorry, but that did make me laugh just a bit. Poor you coming round to the idea, then having it snatched away. How very selfish you are, DARING to have a baby in the summer. Mums hey. Just think, fast forward 30 years and we'll all be that annoying

brave I would not be too shockedif it was exactly that at the welcome to world party

If you've been to "STFU, parents" website and seen the birth photos some people post on facebook for the whole world to see, not much would surprise you (I'm talking close-ups. of the actual birth process. frum the business end).

Ew Hazle nooooooo! Why?!

Reminds me of a Ben Elton book. Blind Faith

In a world where your birth video and 'cherry pop' video is mandatory viewing at office induction parties, and where vaccinations have been outlawed because they intervene with 'god's will'.

Janey it is funny. I am a taurus. I am stubborn and do not like change. I like change less when I get my round something and then I have to change it back. Bahahahaha.

Soooo anyone having bump to baby pics? I'm tempted. I think this makes me a bad person

What are bump to baby pics brave? I'm presuming they're not about the actual bit where bump becomes baby, as per hazle's post?! Is it just pics before and after? Am I a bad person for not knowing?!

lol Janey Well I think that it's a photoshoot in pregnancy, followed up by a photoshoot with newborn and sometimes later.

Sort of arty stuff. I don't think that necessarily means naked. I think it was someone on here saying taking bump pics is nice as may never be quite the same ever again if stretchmarks take hold etc.

It sounds incredibly vain but I actually quite like my big tummy and boobs maybe because it is so different, and so functional, and well it's a massive milestone for me and for junior. Makes me sad to think that I might miss the chance to document this. But I think this makes me a really bad person certainly in OH's eyes !

brave only if you're brave:
www.stfuparentsblog.com/post/12188713735/fright-fest-2011-birth-pics-edition

Bit off topic but did any of you ladies with dogs notice they changed when you got pregnant? Mine is so so clingy, she brings all her toys to me, she follows me everywhere and she will only settle if shes on my lap. Its knackering! She hardly bothers with my OH, it was cute but now its starting to get a bit annoying, she literally has to be on me, my OH says to just push her off, but all that does is make her double her efforts to get back on. It would be ok if she was a little jack russell or something but shes huge now, shes kind of lab sized but on iccle legs. You tend to notice when three stone of dog is sat on you.

Hazle WTAF is that webshite??? It's horrendous! Who would post such pictures let alone doctor them?!! I am disturbed.

I have a friend who insisted on throwing a joint baby shower for my Sis and my other friend who were due 4 days apart. I was skeptical but it was just a female-only gathering with a few nibbles and copious amounts of wine for those who weren't up the duff. There was a no gifts rule and no games were played. We just had a good old gossip and a right laugh. The same friend has insisted offered to throw one along similar lines for me and my friend who is due 12 days before me so we have both agreed based on having such a good time at the last one.

Brave if you want the pictures done then bloody well get them done! Ignore what anyone else thinks if it's something you'd like for yourself. You can see it as a reward for the 40 weeks of sobriety shit we have to put up with in order to grow a baby.

I have't had anybody paying me pregnancy compliments and I now have cankles water retention in my ankles and toes, and a ridiculous line down my front. Needless to say, I will not be getting photographed!

Mother our dog was too young to notice a difference in his behaviour when I got pregnant. My friend said her dog got much more affectionate when she got pregnant.

If your dog is very clingy then it's probably best to somehow discourage her (although I don't know how) in case she gets too jealous when baby arrives?

brave I'm planning to get bump and baby pics done! My step-dad is a photographer so I'll get him to do them (so not naked at all for the bump pics!! But still arty!) Will only put the baby pics up around the house though, rather than the bump pics, they'll be just for me.

Since getting my BFP, about three people have told me I look really tired on different occasions. So compliments aren't rolling in yet here!

Feeling really nervous about my scan on Sat. Excited but scared too.

cavort it's a nice website for learning how not to behave as a new parent. Nobody wants to see potty training photos.

Mother I haven't seen any changes with my dogs, and as mine are 40 and 30 kilos respectively, I would notice if they tried to sit on my lap. ONe of our cats, who normally does not like anybody but DH has been slightly friendlier though. Oh and one of the cats has been sleeping in the moses basket, there are some muddy footprints there - can only hope the baby is not allergic.

I'm so jealous with all this talk of pets. I wish I had a dog, but DP less keen. Plus not sure now is the time to get one! Would love to though...

I am in a pregnant lady FURY today.

No-one offered me a seat on the tube, despite bump and baby on board badge (am fine with that - I'm capable of standing after all) but then when the person I was standing in front of got off the tube, some old boot barged me out of the way to take the seat. Anyway (and this really is most unlike me) I very loudly thanked her for being so "bloody polite, barging a pregnant woman out of the way". Everyone was staring at us, and she got up and let me have the seat. I sat down, really embarrassed, and slightly mortified over what came over me.

Am also not sure how much longer DP and I can sleep in the same bed for. He loves to sleep in the middle of the bed, leaving me down one side. But I'm starting to need more room than that (still not using pillows, but need carefully positioned legs to avoid pressure on the bump - which means I take up more room) which isn't really working for either of us. He woke me at 2am to ask me to move over (I was literally on the edge of the bed as it was) which put me into another irrational pregnant lady fury. I therefore moved into the spare room, and once I got back to sleep two hours later, slept very well with a whole bed to myself! Has anyone else considered separate beds or am I just being incredibly grumpy this morning for the late stages of pregnancy?

janey nothing wrong with what you did, even if you don't need to sit, many pregnant women do and pushing a pregnant women out of the way is never a reasonable behaviour.

No need for separate beds here yet, we have a super-king and we both sleep nicely on our respective sides. DH has the habit of wrapping himself in the covers like a swiss roll, but I'm hot all the time anyway, so at the moment I don't mind. But if you sleep better in the guestroom I would certainly do that - sleeping is getting more and more difficult at this stage, so whatever works.

Ha just got a text from my Mum, reminding me that her and Dad are coming to stay tomorrow for a week. Due to loft not being done, and lodger not having moved out yet, we've only got one spare bedroom at the moment so that's my plans for more sleep ruined! I think I'll stay there tonight though to try and get one decent night's sleep....

Thanks for that link Hazle - will check it out when not in the office lol

My friends had problems with one of her dogs when she got pregnant, he regressed a bit and started messing in the house and constantly fighting with the other dog and generally a nightmare. They even planned to get him rehomed. For some reason, the place it was being rhomed too wasn't ready, so the dog's still there. Fortunately, he's now calmed down - I think as hormones have dissipated a bit - and he's behaving again now.

Fair play for pregnant fury Janey I hope that person felt terrible. I'm going to London for a day next week and will be looking forward to getting my BOB badge - even though it's pretty pointless now as bump speaks for itself most of the time.

As for bedroom antics, I'd hate to have to sleep separately, but we do still have a single bed in baby's room (currently used by DSS when he comes) and this might stay for a while even after we sort out back bedroom into double guestroom (for DSS and guests). So it'll be an option, especially when OH goes back to work.

My OH is a bit of a bed and covers hogger too, though since bringing in the extra duvet to lie on (clearly demarcates the centre) he's been less land-grabby.

I have to admit for being a covers hogger. So I end up with LOADS of covers (all over the floor!) and no bed. You'd think we'd both learn to share! I hate the thought of separate bedrooms too, but also hate the thought of crap sleep for the next 12 weeks. Although I suspect that will be the case regardless....

I've developed a new craving - rhubarb. The trouble is that my favourite is of course rhubarb crumble and it's way too easy to make. I really should not tell DH that he should get some more rhubarb for this evening, right?

Hazle - it's one of your five a day, of course you should! Is practically good for you...

Oooh, I wonder if that old wives' tale that you crave foods according to the sex is true then - that you crave sweet stuff for a girl, and bitter/sour stuff for a boy. Rhubarb is quite bitter.

Not sure what that says about what I'm having though, about two weeks ago I wasn't particularly hungry and DP was out, so for tea I had pickled onions followed by a chunk of easter egg...

I'm sure rhubarb is good - not so sure about the health benefits of the crumble though
Baby hasn't changed my tastes too much, except that I've started eating chicken again after 10 years. He luckily seems to mostly crave fruit, DH is dragging those home by truckloads. And I can't wait for the cherry season.

I think my dogs and cats are far too stupid and/or selfish to have noticed that I'm pregnant. I had to store our pram and car seat at my Mum's though as the cats kept sleeping in it and it was getting a bit hairy - to my mind though Hazle that will PREVENT the child developing allergies, early exposure and building up their immune system and all that

I did retreat to the spare room for a couple of nights when my itching was at its worst so I didn't keep OH awake all night but most of the time we're still managing fine as our bed is king sized and I don't take up much room just most of the covers but he doesn't mind that because he's a warm person. I think if you need your sleep you should go for it, it's only temporary and you need the rest.

I don't know about the gender thing but I've certainly had more of a sweet tooth since I've been pregnant so maybe there is something in it?