June 2013 - thread 5

[DontmindifIdo]

new thread! Jump on board!

Collector - yep, mine is doing that right now, I've got a great big wobble going on!

I'm feeling rather on my knees today - DS decided our day should start before 5am today, then we went swimming. I'm just not doing well. That said, after having a few days of food refusing he's eaten really well today so can't complain too much. Just hope he's down early...

As for boys names for RueDe - I love the suggestion of Jasper! Go for it! We know a Jasper so it's not really on our name list.

Collector, I didn't think they could enforce mat leave until 36 weeks. What's in your maternity policy at work?

My belly doesn't seem to move that much, I don't think. I don't often watch though. I did get a series of monster kicks earlier which I could see through a few layers. Most amusing!

Got my maternity exemption card today...time to stock up on prescriptions and dental work! :-)

This child is going ballistic to the rugby. Admittedly we are in a busy loud pub. Not sure if she's enjoying it or is really scared!

I was off sick for my first two and they just couldn't enforce the start of mat leave that early, it was 37 weeks both times, no questions asked.

I'm starting to fret now. Went out for a couple of hours this afternoon, came back and straight to sleep, then woke feeling like I'd been away for weeks! How on earth will I manage at work? Had a cry about being useless and not contributing to the family. Going to do my best though, will do me good to be back at work. DH doesn't work as such so I can't go off early or go part time, though I probably have enough leave to squeeze out a couple of four day weeks. It was so straightforward with the first two, my pelvis gave out and I had no choice, exhaustion's not a good enough reason somehow, in my own mind anyway!

I've been told I'll be put on to mat leave at 29 weeks as well because of being on SSP and off with a pregnancy related illness. There's another thread saying this can't be done but it does seem to be the case

You really CANNOT be put onto maternity leave at 29 weeks unless it is your choice.

Go to www.maternityaction.org.uk and look it up. If your employer insists they can, call ACAS and ask for advice how to deal with it.

Don't let your employer screw you over.

I thought you can be forced to start your maternity leave from 29 weeks onwards if you are off sick for pregnancy related illness, but that could have changed, worth looking it up, I think a lot of the laws around maternity leave changed after i went off having DS (so in the last 3 years)

No, it is now 36 weeks they can force a start. They're relying on out of date legislation for 29 weeks. And probably breaking the law in doing so too.

Evening everyone.
Agree with others on introducing baby to siblings. We bought a present from the baby for DS1 and DS1 chose the baby a small toy. Also I purposefully left DS2 in Moses basket when DS1 arrived home so that he could have a look on his own terms and gave him lots of attention. He did regress on the potty training front for a week or two but was soon back to normal. No need to worry this time as they'll be 4 and 7 and just excited!
I've enjoyed a lovely mum to be treatment this afternoon, very relaxing, just hope I didn't snore!! Had a bit of a scare last night though - prob overdid it with Chinese takeaway and on going to bed had awful stabbing pains across top of bump. So painful it made me cry out, and they kept coming and going. Was panicking a bit about what to do especially as had no one to look after the boys. Luckily it subsided and I got to sleep, so prob just awful indigestion. Has made me realise I need to find someone in the playground that won't mind a middle of the night phone call though - on the to do list for this week!

Bri is bang on. I worked on that legislation! 29 weeks is the earliest you can choose to take it. If sick it's SSP until 36 weeks, then force start to SMP at that point. Man, employers take the piss sometimes....

Aw hawk you poor thing- the exhaustion is definitely not a great side effect is it! Hope you manage a good nights sleep tonight.

I also hope your DS let's you wake later tomrw don't mind!

Sarah I'm impressed- I'm a massive rugby fan but there's no way I'd have coped in a pub today- DS had a nap and I watched from the comfort of my sofa instead!

OMG, seriously?! Thank you SO MUCH. That could save me so much money!

I will check that out, and challenge. They said they would revise my mat leave dates and be back in touch. I will dig out the policy and have a good read of it today.

A big (non-MN of course) hug xx

PS Learner, we had curry last night - right there with you with the stabbing pains! Was worried too.

Ah thank u ladies, I too will challenge this now (and tell my mum she was right).

Bubs has been a bit quiet since fri night. I had a panic attack fri eve and now worry the stress is affecting bubs. Think if once I'm up properly I might phone the midwife and see what they think. DP is in court tomorrow so lots could be about to change and I don't know if I'm just focusing on bubs more and being a worry bean.

Hope everyone had a good nights rest x

Pinkbear so sorry that you're having such a tough time. It must be so hard. I'd ring the midwife just to get everything checked out if I were you. I'm sure it'll be fine but it would be good for them to tell you that for certain so that you have one less worry in your mind at what is a tough time.
Will you know tomorrow what the outcome is with dp? I hope all goes well for you.

Try to have a relaxing day together today- easier said than done I know.

Poor you, pinkbear. Definitely ring the midwife about it for reassurance. And it is no wonder you're stressed. I hope your DP gets a good outcome tomorrow.

Collector, if the policy says 29 weeks they can't rely on it. I know my company used to do the same, but it is now 36 (though as we only get SSP, SMP is better financially). Go to that Maternity Action website and look for a pdf (can't link to a pdf on here) which details your rights. Print it off, or email the link to the relevant person.

If they insist, advise you will take legal advice.

Thank you ladies.

It's a bit unknown about the outcome tomorrow, DP solicitors have told him to prepare for being sentenced/having the outcome but that if any of the others change their plea this could hold things up. It's all happening in London too, and we're in the south west. After much deliberation I've decided I'm better off staying at home, DP dad is going with him and I just don't think I'd be in a good state coming home without DP. And being in the car for 20 mins is hassle enough let alone hours.

Ho hum, what will be will be. Hope for the best prepare for the worst.

Pink sending lots of positive thought..
Bubs is quieter here too but he's moved position and bump looks completely different now.
Has anyone booked or thought of hypnobirthing?

Littlemiss, somebody has sent me a book and dvd on hypnobirthing which I will look at when I start maternity leave. It is really meant to help.

My friend, who's a midwife, has said it's best to relax into the pain as getting tense can prolong labour. Wondering if that's easier said than done though.

Pinkbear, surely it'd be madness to change plea? I hope it is done in one day so whatever happens isn't prolonged. And I think you're right to stay at home.

Mrsbri you are right it would be madness - but so far nothing has been quite straight forward. Just got to keep fingers crossed. And as hard as it will be being at home I think it's for the best too. My mum and dad are coming to stay so I have some company/distraction.

In the mean time I have a crazy springer climbing the wall because he thinks he can see/smell something. There is nothing. But he's convinced otherwise.

Ooooooh! She wee! I hadn't thought of that genius idea, I bought one last year for going to a festival for my hen do. Blatantly going to use that for wee samples from now on.

Luckily this is my first, so no stressing about other children coping with new arrival, although my two feline children may take a little while to get used to their new baby brother.

Think I am developing SPD . Do you have to go to your midwife to be referred or could I make an appointment with my gp? My midwife is only in on Mondays and Fridays, I'm too late for an appointment for tomorrow but I feel like if I am going to try and see someone I need to do it sooner rather than later. I'm sure DH just thinks I am being lazy , but I'm in agony when I roll over at night, and I went to a gig on Friday (space - do you remember them from the 90s? The female of the species/neighbourhood etc? Was bloody brilliant!), and I was on my feet/ dancing all night and I think I aggravated it. I hate it, as all I want to do is be lying down!

Feeling slightly better about work now, managed to get a few things done off my enormous list, so am trying to be a bit more positive. 7 working weeks to go with a two week break in a fortnight...

Oh and keeping fingers crossed of you pink, hope the day swings in your favour. Xxx

oh I hope it's all ok Pink.

You really are a wonderful bunch of lovely ladies thank you all.

I called the midwifes and was told to lay on my left side for a couple o hours and have cold drinks. I wouldn't say bubs is kicking for England but I've felt some little wiggles now and I hope that's relaxed me enough to feel it all more normally now.

Thank you all once again x

That's good, pinkbear...it's always worrying when baby decides that they're going to have a lazy day! I'm glad there's now some wriggles to reassure you. :-)

Baby B actually responds to me lying on my back more than on the left, as I don't think he's keen. I did that this morning and regretted it about 5 minutes later when he went mental.

At what point do they realise they don't have room to keep rotating? :-/

Oh pinkbear, everything crossed for you and I'm sure baby was just having a wee rest for a bit. X