July 2013 thread 4 - keeping the duchess company

[Runswithsquirrels]

No one seems to have started a new thread yet, so here we go!

princessllama-dc3-27th June
CottonSocks - 1st July
QuinandThem - 1st July
Badgerwife - DC2 - 1st July
Cutandstick - 2nd July
Runswithsquirrels - 2nd July
Thinkingof4- DC4 -2nd July
VinegarDrinker - DC2 - 2nd July
Persuasion - 3rd July
esme80 - 3rd july
Glup - 3rd July
emblosion - 3rd July
BB01 - 4th July
Dinkystinky - DC3 - 4th July
elliejjtiny - 4th July
wifey6 - 5th July
Notprincesskate - DC2 - 5 July
OhGood - 5th July
PenguinsInThePantry - 5th July
marmitemad DC2 - 6th July
Gingerpanther27 - 7th July
DifferentNow - DC5 - 7th July
Abzs - DC1 - 7th July
Efme - 8th July
GeorgieWilson - 9th July
shelley72 - 9th -
Devilforasideboard - 10th July
CitizenOscar - DC2 - 10th July
TwoOfThree - DC1 - 10th July
Calmisthemantra - 11th July
Specialknickers - 11th July
MrsMillions - DC1 - 11th July
mysterymeg - 12th July
Reikimummy - 12th July (DC1)
SlouchingPanda - 12th July
Thundercatz - 12th July
Twirliedobbit - DC4 - 12th July
Hai1988 - 14th July
LittleFlower888 - 14th July
Tashtastic - 14th July
Beaditsback - dc2 14th July
Lizincornwall - 15th July
Mizar - 15th July
photographerlady - 15th July
Guavasforbreakfast - DC1 - 16th July
paolocee/donna - 17th July
MiniPenguinMaker - DC1 - 17th July
MrsWildermac - 18th July
TotallyEggFlipped - 18th July
SingingMomma - 18th July
GingerJulep - DC1 - 19th July
Niktasha - 19th July
whitedaffodil - 19th July
Grannyapple DC2 - 19th July
orangebubbles - DC2 - 20th July
Thinking positive thoughts - 20th July
Cheeseandbread - DC1 - 20th July
AmaDablam - DC1 - 21st July
butterflyexperience - 22nd July
BadMissM- DC2- 22nd July
AllYoursBabooshka - 22nd July
Isitme1 - 23rd July
MightBeMad - 23rd July
Supershiv1 - DC1 - 23rd July
Boostar - 24th July
Cantreachmytoes - 24th July
MrsRoss26 - 24th July
Camb79 - 25th July
Sashabella0 - 25th July
BoyMeetsWorld - 27th July
marimama - 27th July
JessicaMLH - DC2 - 27th July
Flyingsprocket - 29th July
SchroSawMummyRidingSantaClaus - Unknown

Yep - I'm of the medical persuasion too. Not on the DNUK forums though...

Definitely no homebirth here - I'm undecided about epidurals but I don't fancy testing my pelvis out without a blood fridge or theatre within easy reach . Different for those on second baby (or more), but certainly not for me.

Feeling pretty boring here, but feeling movements a few times a day now.

18+0

SlouchingPanda Even though it is number 2 for me, bugger that for a laugh. After DD when I nearly died, no homebirth or odd ideas for me...in fact an ELCS if possible!

I think I posted my homebirth thoughts a while back, in summary though, it's not for me, even without the previous PPH.

Also, don't think DH would forgive me is there were stains on his nice flooring .

My birth plan will basically be "please put in a massive cannula and do the needful". Think I was rather a disappointment to the community MW who booked me...

badmissM sorry to hear those scary stats! But remember they are just stats, 1 in 150 is still low in real terms, but still not welcome news of course.

What is Harmoney btw??

Slouching & Tom, definitely no home birth for me either. The MW was trying to push the idea at my booking appointment, but things weren't straight forward with DD and none of my medical friends have had a straight forward delivery either. It's just not for me.

Vinegar I used to post on DNUK a bit, but haven't for ages. (since I found MN really). I think it's friendlier/more inclusive here (AIBU aside, obviously )

Slouching - as I said on am earlier thread, no matter what kind of birth you have in your head as the ideal birth, babies often have their own ideas about how its going to go. Ultimately it matters not a jot how they enter the world, just that they are in your world and in your arms and you are starting the most amazing journey of love and discovery as a new unit. I am pondering a home birth as may be easiest if another fast labour (though heaven knows how this birth will go).

Undecided about when to go on maternity leave too.

cutandstick and guava I feel your pain. Change going on with me too and colleagues/friends leaving, which is tough, along with challenging pupils not to mention parents I have had a teary past two weeks and feel emotionally and physicslly shattered- but try to hold on to the positives and the lovely kids in my class.

I think I might try and stick it out until a week or two after half term so I have more time at home with bean... We shall see though...

I should have already left for work... I'm normally there by now... Oh well it's Friday- yea!

I hope everyone had lovely days- sorry about the moan.

dinky your post just made me smile and made me feel a little calmer on this Friday morning. Thank you.

slouching I totally agree. I feel safer in a hospital (and don't live that close to one, wouldn't fancy that journey in an ambulance in labour), and near blood products!
I tend to read the DNUK forums, but don't post. Haven't seen the family one though, I'll go look!

Right, off to work...

I don't like the idea of a home birth for my first. I'd like to try a water birth & I know the only way to ensure that is by being at home but I like the security of the hospital, the staff, the theatres & the pain relief if needed.

Also I think I'd feel a bit odd cooking eggs/making tea the next day & thinking I'd given birth on the floor just there 24 hours previously!

morning early birds.

I love a homebirth but still unsure with baby #1. I guess maybe its a little bit of fear about not knowing what to expect. Its still in my mind as I am literally a 3 minute drive from hospital. So will talk with them about it. Regardless I am looking forward to hynobirthing.

Waterbirth is at the forefront of my mind. Thanks to shelley I know all the info on our local hospital's facilities. Watching/catching up on One born last night where a woman couldn't get the pool it does have me thinking about renting a pool. Either way I be having a baby at a funny angle as I know I don't want to be on my back. Most my anxiety in hospitals in laying in the bed and I need to be upright in someway and drug free.

New MW, fingers crossed, should be ringing me today to setup my new booking appointment for the area we are moving. I really hope to hear from them and get the ball rolling before the DH and I are moving cross country.

Cutandstick and Guavas, these thoughts/experiences are exactly why I want to finish early! Think you've really strengthened my belief that I'd feel better now if I know I'm finishing quite early on.

My friends/family who had HBs said there was hardly any mess and worst mess was from waters breaking, which in their cases would have been at home anyway. However others have said they did get some mess so if it puts you off a lot can understand the reluctance. I'm not v squeamish or too fussed about the few odd stains so guess I'm not at all worried re that factor. Can understand others' feelings it's not for them and don't think us pro homebirthers will ever change anti homebirthers' minds but it's just nice to find out if anyone else is planning one, as we're such a small minority

Dinky is right, it's not how they enter the world, but that they do safe and sound.
I'd also say, do some research and make an informed decision, ignore the shite printed in the likes of the Daily Fail, scare mongering bullshit! Read lots and lots and the same goes for pain relief, research your options. I had a woman in my NCT that new nothing about pain relief but was adamant she was having 'everything', she didn't in the end and she didn't need it!
I have mentioned before but I had a water home birth with DD1 and if anyone wants to ask questions more than happy to answer, just pm me.

orange I love to hear your waterbirth experience if you like to share.. Like what time you arrived, when you actually got in the pool, did you stay in the pool or got out for the afterbirth.

Great reading for those who want it (feel free to ignore)

• Childbirth without Fear - Dick Grantly Read (foreword by Michel Odent, who my birth doula works with alot)
• any Ina May Gaskin books
• Marie Mongan or Katherine Graves Hypnobirthing books (warning Marie Mongan is VERY american)
• anything by Janet Balakaris (or however you spell it)

Photographer - I had a waterbirth with DS2 (not planned that way at all). Got to birth centre in transition and when I saw the pool in the room there was nothing on gods earth stopping me from getting in it. Was 10cm when got in. Baby born 20 minutes later. Was very grounding and didnt impede contractions at all. DS2 born in pool, came out 10 - 20 minutes later and snuggled on bed for 20 minutes then had to get upright to deliver the placenta.

I'd love a home birth, I think it would be fabulous to go at your own pace, have one on one care, get into and out of bed / bath when you need to and best of all - it's clean! Far cleaner than a hospital would be. And a toilet all to yourself... Amazing.

Unfortunately for me, I had a very difficult labour with ds (despite a perfectly straight forward pregnancy and me being fit and healthy) and I will never forget how grateful I was that we both survived it. In different circumstances, we may not have. It's scared the bejesus out of me. I may have to go medical again and I think it's so sad that most people don't have the option of a safe midwife led unit, attached to a hospital to go to. For me (in a decent sized city) it's a dirty labour ward, with a shocking reputation, or nowt.

photographer I went into labour early hours on a Friday morning, a home water birth was always planned so I wasn't worried about having to get to hospital or anything like that! I got up at 8am and went about my day, Sainsbury's shopping, walked the dog, took dog to the kennels (didn't want her to be frightened by the noise so she was put in for 2 nights - the kennels were wonderful and knew they were on standby for the call). DH came home at lunch time and got the pool up and filled. MW also came at lunch time and confirmed labour but was only 1cm dilated. She put on my TENS machine... highly recommend them, available to rent via Boots (of course I don't how much difference it actually made but I am sure it helped me work through the pain). Another MW came and checked me at 7pm was only 3cm dilated! I went to bed at 9pm and worked through the contractions with the TENS until at 12pm when my instinct kicked in and I just 'knew' it was time! MW arrived at 1am, I was 9cm dilated got in the pool and baby arrived at 3am, I stayed in the pool and delivered the placenta half an hour later. It was the most relaxed, calm, stress free birth I can imagine. I had no pain relief but the feeling of the water was just amazing. My mw's were fabulous, they essentially sat in a dim lit room and let me labour very naturally, checking baby's HB frequently but not bothering me at all. I did start to run out of energy towards the end and the mw got DH to feed me banana between each contraction! I can not even explain how much energy I gained from each bite... honestly it was like I was being super charged. Make sure you have a stash on hand! If you are low risk then I can highly recommend. You have all your things around you, everything is personal (as opposed to clinical), you don't get stressed (transferring from home to hospital whether under your own steam or by ambulance is widely acknowledged to slow and in some cases stop labour). It wasn't all straightforward, bean shot out so fast I had tearing and in the end had to go to hospital to be stitched but that's a different story and not one that affected my wonderful birth.
I think the fact I went into it fully prepared and not in the slightest bit worried is what allowed me to have such a calm and wonderful experience. I also had complete faith in my mw's, there was a hairy moment when the first mw thought I might have meconium staining and they thoroughly investigated before concluding it was not, but I knew if it was they would have called the hospital without hesitation.
Hope that helps, as with every positive story, there will be one that isn't but the same applies to hospital births (you just have to watch OBEM to see how scary some of those births get). I think it's all down to the individual and what you feel comfortable with.

afternoon all, just been reading all the lovely stuff about home births - am very and . have had a few sleepless nights this week - had my VBAC app on wednesday which left me feeling a little disappointed (posted on the childbirth thread) and then had my first bout of heartburn last night (nice) so had to try and sleep propped up. i actually felt 'ok' yesterday but back to feeling bit crap today. still plodding on with the iron and vitamins, hopefully will make a difference soon. but at least its the weekend !

Shelley - there were quite a few women who were hoping to VBAC on my Feb 09 thread. Some of them had disappointing appts but they all had lovely births in the end and felt ok with how the baby came out.

Re heartburn - my pregnancy yoga teacher was recommending not to eat too many starchy carbs (particularly if it contains gluten) as that can exascerbate it. I find eating little and often helps stave off heartburn.

Another teacher here. Well kind of - I got signed off work with SPD at 24weeks in Oct '11 with dd1 then took a years maternity leave. Was due back Dec '12 but found out I was pregnant and SPD worsened (it never really got better!) so signed off again for whole pregnancy. After this maternity leave I'm not due back until June '14. I am very unpopular at my school To make things worse I don't think I'll be going back as can't really afford childcare x2!

vinegar I think I know who you are on DNUK! You're quite a regular!

hi! i have been keeping up on the thread but can't seem to find time to actually post once i've caught up! :) i'm home today because we've got a blizzard coming here. did all my shopping yesterday, and school is closed today so we're just hanging out at home waiting for the 24-30 inches of snow that are coming.

re homebirths and expectations. i can't remember if i already said this in an earlier thread, but i had a disappointing birth experience with DS1 which ended in EMCS. i was upset after DS's birth, but i do realize now that i would have gone through ANYTHING if it meant he'd be here safe and healthy. that said, i do think hospitals (in US anyway) often suggest/push drugs and intervention and monitoring that can put you on a medicalised track you might not end up on otherwise... i have really mixed feelings about what's best. my doctor has said i've got a good chance of a VBAC if my body actually does what it's supposed to this time. so i will be going for hospital birth, hopefully with a doula at my side to balance things out a bit.

i missed the gender-names topic earlier this week. we'll be finding out on the 26th. didn't someone on our thread say that it's just as much of a surprise at 20 weeks as at 40? i can't wait!

we've got first names picked out for boy/girl, but middle names are a problem. we gave DS a middle name from my side of the family, so we think we've got to give DH's family a shout-out this time. it's just that the names on his side are...umm...kind of obscure italian and not our favorites. we'll give baby an italian name (like DS), so i don't want the combo of two italian names in a row to be ridiculously sing-songy, and followed by a hyphenated irish-italian surname (we're jerks!) it could be too much!

mini just want to give special hello to you. i am really sorry to hear about your redundancy. pregnancy is stressful enough, esp as single mum, so i hope the good advice given here helps and sees you with some support soon.

congrats to others on new jobs!

school year finishes here mid-june, so i'll be 35 weeks, i think. but is it restful when you're home with a 3-yr old? would i be better off at school with my 100+ 15-yr-olds? :)

photographerlady - I spent most of dd's labour standing up leaning against the bed and also delivered her in this position as lying/sitting was so uncomfortable despite having chronic arthritis in my hips/knees and a consultant who was desperate to book me in for a cs. I just had to lie on the bed briefly for examination so try not to worry about having to lie down if you don't want to. just make sure the mws are ready to catch your baby as they missed dd and she ended up landing on the padded floor mat!

one of my best friends had a completely unplanned hb on the bathroom floor after getting up during the night to go for a wee and finding a head about to emerge, despite the shock she said it was a wonderful experience and her dd (aged 3) slept through the whole drama

another friend had a planned hb which was ok but they ran out of gas and air, her dd also slept through it but I guess it would be harder to conceal from dc during daytime.

I'm hoping for a water birth in the hospital mw led unit this time (after being told I wasn't allowed in the pool last time due to mobility concerns )

thanks for your lovely home wb story orangebubbles

I would love a water birth but am not allowed in the mid wife led unit as my BMI is over 30
The only way I could have one is possibly at home but I wouldn't want my toddler DS's around in case they were scared