March 2013 IX: Cruising to Christmas with burgeoning bumps

[Sheldonella]

Thanks sarahs999 for the lovely new thread name :)

Old thread here

No 9, can you believe it

Question: should I get a breast pump in case feeding doesn't go smoothly straight away, and if so which one? Should I have some formula just in case?

stormy April I think!

leni you are likely to use one at some point so worth having a look what's out there but if you need one initially you'll need a hospital grade one and they can usually be borrowed

Afternoon!

Sorry to hear of hospital stays, and hi to those I've not yet encountered . I've had a nice end to the week, my sister visited, I finally emptied a drawer in our bedroom for baby things, and it was my friends daughters 2nd birthday. I used up loads of my nectar points buying baby clothes in sainsburys so got 8 sleep suits and 3 pairs of joggers for 50p! Very proud.
I am really finding it hard to sleep at night though, so an trying to phase out daytime naps!

I'm so excited for tomorrow, having a growth scan to check on some ovarian cysts. To me it's just another chance to see my wriggly little fella, and my mums coming with me. It'll be nice for us as she's been travelling since October and only got back today! Eeeee!

Oh, and April for dr who? Yes!

Good late afternoon ladies,

Hope all is well with you ladies and bumps not causing too much trouble or pain.

Leni, i would like to breastfeed but also express so OH can help out with feeds in the night and can have a bit of daddy bonding time with baby. And at least if i fail at breastfeeding, i can still express. We picked our Advent Manual up at Morrisons for £9.50 in the sales. We think we was really lucky and they put the wrong sticker on it muhahaha. Never ran out of a shop so smug!

Had the OHs family down today from Birmingham as it's his 21st Birthday Tuesday. Was lovely seeing nephews and nieces. Brooke (4) asked if the baby in my belly was ready to come out yet because i look very big and she's worried i'm going to pop. Did make me smile. Had a big KFC om nom nom! Am very tired nows.

And as for my cough i spoke to my midwife when i bumped into her at Asda. She told me just to avoid most things unless it got too bad :/ Maybe i have one of those midwives that like everything to be natural. Fun times.

Am fully looking forward to Dr Who. Have a very big soft spot for Matt Smith and have informed OH that he can be the father to my child anyday! I think he took it well :D

Lauren, that's exactly my plan - my neighbour mentioned it took her six weeks to get her baby to feed properly so to avoid losing milk I plan to express and freeze and then like your OH mine can do some feeding too. Got a feeling a manual pump may make my hand drop off though...

Isn't it weird how midwives and OB's say such different things? I've seen a different midwife each time and they've all told me different things. How the heck nervous first timers are meant to decide what to do and not do is beyond me. I sort of feel like because I'm already taking meds, a few Halls sweets here and there won't make any difference! I suppose knowing my LO's got a healthy brain and all his other bits helps reassure me. But I do actually make that ginger drink every day anyway because it's great for a wake up in the morning, and is really nice and warming

Anyway, I'll stop banging on about how amazing ginger is now!

Not sure if we'll wake up to snow but if so I'm working from home (or watching TV and doing yoga with the laptop on), so secretly hoping it starts before 6.30am otherwise I'll have to go in.

OH snapped the knob off the radiator in the study today so it's still freezing in there. Doh!

leni and lauren there is always the option to hand express which is alot better for your breasts according to my midwife so worth exploring. Apparently you just need to be taught properly how to do it and it is as effective as a breast pump. leni you won't 'lose' milk - your breast are amazingly designed to produce exactly the amount of milk that your baby wants and will adapt milk production on a daily basis depending on the amount the baby suckles (increasing and deceasing as necessary). The best way to get them in sync is actually to exclusively breastfeed as this means your body will only respond properly to your baby's suckling and avoid pumping and bottle feeding as this can interrupt the natural process. Your OH can bond over changing nappies and all the other hours baby is not feeding! I think its weird how so many women I speak to prepare to fail where breastfeeding is concerned i.e. we talk about getting a breast pump and bottles etc 'just in case' we can't do it. Its a bit like if a guy, knowing he is going to have sex for the first time takes a sex aid along with him just in case he can't perform!

I think its weird how so many women I speak to prepare to fail where breastfeeding is concerned

I do too, although I suppose it's little wonder when all you hear is negativity where bfing is concerned, which seems to be common in this country. I was lucky in that I had friends who breastfed and my mum fed both my brother and I, so I had a lot of positive stories around me and I do think that makes a difference. I was determined I was NOT going to fail and if someone said to me "wont you need bottles just in case it doesn't work" I'd ask back, "why wont it work?". There was a baby cafe for bfing mums in my town that I went to every week which was fantastic, too, and I will definitely be going along with this one, too. :)

I think it's best to look at both sides, if you can do it, it's great, if you can't, there's no need to worry and you don't need to feel like your a bad mother that's failed. Which is always being constantly said!! Breastfeeding isn't easy, hence why there's a class just on it in Antenatal classes.

Baby might have trouble latching on
Baby won't suck
Baby may "shut down" as soon as she/he touches nipple due to previous negative experiences.
Sensory overload

All whilst your being watched by nurses, not because they're judging but they have to make sure baby can feed properly, but as a first time Mother you can feel like the whole world's judging you. All those reasons you can overcome. I think there's far too much pressure for you to breastfeed, it's a must and the world's going to end if you don't.

It how you, your baby and body feel.

Lauren I do understand the 'bad mother' vibe that's really strong around not breastfeeding - I shudder at the thought of nurses watching as I try to breastfeed for the first time which is why I will be requesting anyone other than my DH to leave the room (the same way I wouldn't have wanted someone in the room telling me what to do when I lost my virginity!!!!).

While pregnant with DD1 I started out having so many concerns about breastfeeding but have been determined to find out why i was worrying about it so much (even more than childbirth!). After my DD1 was stillborn and my milk came in, I was absolutely desperate to breastfeed - I was almost feeding the pillows around me and I was absolutely shocked about what a natural and desperate need this was. It was totally unexpected and devastating - I could have fed any baby just to satisfy that urge. Since then and now being pregnant with DD2 I have tried to educate myself to see why I had so many concerns in the first place and I do think I just absorbed so much negativity about breastfeeing that I stopped seeing it as the natural and obvious thing to do!

As for pressure to breastfeed and it being a 'must' - we are lucky in that we live in a country with great healthcare and great sanitation so that the inherent risks in using breast milk substitutes e.g. lack of immune protection for baby and the risks of bacteria contamination and sterlisation are minimised and therefore we can all reasonably make an informed choice to bottle feed which does not usually affect the health of our LOs. This is not the case for the majority of the population of the world who are poor for whom bottle feeding actually endangers their babies' life. The last statistic I read was that in many places around the world, bottlefed babies are 6 times more likely to die in infancy than breastfed babies - a scary and sad thought but probably where the high value put on breastfeeding comes from.

What is sad is that in the UK breastfeeding is not viewed as a natural process in the same way as childbirth or any other bodily function which we totally accept for granted when it is exactly the same. We are not exposed to seeing people breastfeed all around us so we need to be 'taught'. Ultimately now it comes down to being given or seeking out the right support without judgement.

There is a fantastic funny book called 'The food of love' by Kate Evans which I am reading which address all the problems we might face breast feeding and gives some fantastic advice. Its very lighthearted, illustrated with cartoons but very helpful in a very straightforward and practical way about breastfeeding, making me determined to see it as much of a natural bodily function as going to the toilet!

It's interesting what you say about the urge to breastfeed, Rainbow. It sounds like such a hard time for you, and I had never even considered that this could happen.

Personally I feel that I want to breastfeed for a couple of months. Maybe I'll love it and want to continue for as long as possible. On the other hand I do agree with Lauren and think that it'd be nice for my baby's dad to also be able to share this. I don't intend to buy a pump or bottles before baby arrives, but if it's more stressful than it needs to be I'll be the first down the shops buying all the right kit. That, and I don't think I've got the cojones to breastfeed in public! Quite right to point out that our modern, sanitary and medically sound country allows us to make see this as a choice, when for so many women around the world it is the only way to safely feed a baby.

Oh! I had my growth scan this morning. He weighs 5lbs already! It looks like I'm in for a big 'un

Dh says he's never missed anything by not feeding dd3. He's enjoyed cooking for her instead.

Sorry I have been quiet just catching up with everything after a busy Xmas, New Year and DS 2nd birthday.

Leni - with DS he didn't latch on at first I ha an avent manual pump which was cheapish but useless DH ended up going out as soon as the shops opened and got electric Avent one which was brilliant as good as the medula ones I used in hospital. Was too weak after delivery to use manual pump then never used again so dunno if it would be ok?

Leni, Lauren and Rainbow There are different opinions over expressing, my Sister was told not to express for 6 weeks as baby would get confused but my midwives told me to express between feeds to get the milk up and I had to express at first as he wouldn't latch on but having a bottle didn't stop him latching on just took a few days as he then got tired from lack of milk. My sisters little one wouldn't take a bottle for ages which meant she couldn't leave her and Dad couldn't do any feeds I personally would express as had not problems with it at all but once DS was about 5 months and sleeping through (mostly) I stopped and he was fully breastfed along with weaning till he was 11 months in fact it was heartbreaking for me to stop breastfeeding as I loved our time together.

With DS I got very ill and ended up on a drip my milk dried up due to high temp etc and DS was only 8 days old I carried on breastfeeding in hospital to get it back and bond but HAD to use formula or DS wouldn't have gotten enough.

Whatever you choose is your decision I wish the UK was as bf friendly as other countries but on the other hand your damned if you do and damned if you don't you will always be doing something wrong in someone's eyes but what works for you and your baby is best for you and your baby.

Zoey - poor you sounds such a pain having all those tablets and going into hospital but good you have a date in mind so exciting you may get to see your baby before march!

I am on limited bed rest due to placenta previa and been in and out of hospital too have a scan and consultant 4th feb so will know more then including if I am to have ELCS, they don't think it will move but not giving up hope just yet. Have my sisters wedding 4 hours away on the 16th so don't know if I can go they will give me advice on the 4th though.

How is everyone feeling? Getting lots of Braxton hicks? I have had loads for weeks and lost my cervical plug but it should regenerate but don't like the idea they are doing anything!

I've been recommended to avoid everything but everyone seems to have some opinion about what is good and bad for you- heard the other day we shouldn't be having green tea but that is what I substituted real tea for had a moment of panic then remembered I drank more green tea with DS than this pregnancy and he is fine but it is scary!

Funny hearing your babies are starting to engage - no where near with mine but I suppose I have a great big placenta in the way so can't lol bubba is staying well up high in my ribs -you can't win its uncomfortable wherever at this stage.

I just wanted to make sure that I'm not left with no way to feed him if he doesn't latch straight away - being realistic rather than assuming failure. Bfing does seem like the norm to me, I can't imagine not doing it, but I'm also aware that sometimes it's impossible, plus as I'm on meds for my heart there's a chance adding more after the birth will mean it isn't safe for my baby.

My OH works nights so I'll be doing a lot of night feeds alone, when things are often more likely to seem awful!

I meant losing my milk if I can't feed - I'd rather he have breast milk even if he doesn't feed directly from me.

Personally I have no qualms about feeding in public - if anyone wants to frown on that they can whistle frankly. I'm used to people eyeballing me as it is because I have both arms fully tattooed but work in the city

Plonko Bigger babies are supposed to be easier they say! Got my Growth Scan the beginning of February. I'll be 34 weeks so i'm not expecting to see much on the screen, did you get to see much?

Emsy No Braxton Hicks for me yet :( No engage. Saying that i wouldn't have a clue what it feels like anyway :/ Not even up in ribs. Just same routine of kicks in the morning, (her feed me kicks) and kicks as i'm about to sleep (her good night kicks) She's very laid back.

Sorry to hear about loss of DD1 rainbow, i fully agree about the need to be taught because of it not being around.

Feeding in public is a mixed subject. There are some great cafes by us that make a point of having signs saying Breast Feeding welcome. But it also makes me think, they shouldn't have signs it should be fine anywhere because it's natural and women have been doing it thousands of years. Either way i think i'll get a sling of some form, so i can breastfeed wherever i want without getting the whole boob out. And god help anyone that says anything to me about it!

Mixing back and forth am decorating bathroom today. Not going to lie, i am a massive lover of ducks and now my bathroom has many ducks all over the wall to go with my assorted rubber ducks on the window ledge. I'm rather proud.

Cotbed due for delivery anytime now. No doubt me and OH will have fun erecting it.

Lauren It was lovely! Obviously he's a lot bigger than he was 14 weeks ago but that means you see it in so much more detail. We got a really good look at his face, saw him practicing breathing and having a good kick. The best part was when he stuck his tongue out. He's big(ish) but within normal limits, which is as much as anyone can hope for. Both the sonographer and my mum said bigger babies come out easier and, in their experience, are easier to settle.

Sadly didn't get a good picture because he couldn't really fit on the screen! We have a very fuzzy photo and didn't even get charged for it though.

That's what's made me consider the feeding issue. What if he's really hungry and can't keep up? I always seek the easy way out and can see me turning to formula if the right kind of support isn't there!

Oh and a word to the wise - set the cotbed up in the room you're going to be using it in! Stupidly I got over excited when ours arrived two weeks ago, and set it up in the lounge 'just to see'. I then dismantled it, huffed and puffed it upstairs and set it up again in our bedroom. Cue 30 minutes of panicky BH and a very sweaty shower

Hi Plonko little chuckle at you putting the Cot bed up in the lounge I can so imagine doing that.
My DS was big born early but still 9lbs2oz he was very hungry but as long as you are ok you should be fine I had no problems when in full health - all babies go through growth spurts and you feel like all you are doing is feeding them but it helps your supply come up and it passes only to come again a few weeks later.
Rainbow sorry about your loss that sounds heartbreaking! I admit you do have a need to feed after delivery must have been awful for you.
Leni good to have a back up plan, my DH is lactose intolerant and I was convinced DS was going to be lactose intolerant but one of those babies allergic to breast milk as well and researched lactose free formulas- I am a lot more chilled out these days though and have a lot more faith in my body to do what it is supposed to do. I am concerned about breastfeeding after C section but plenty of people have done it before so can't be too much of a problem - on my long list of questions to ask the consultant.

Breast feeding is proving to be quite devisive. Like everything else, what's good for some women and babies isn't for others. I think there's a lot of scare stories about and there's also a lot of pressure on new Mums to BF or feel like failures. If you think on it that's ridiculous. There are plenty of guides around, there are BF consultants - apparently great if you express too much, too little or baby is having problems latching on (& I'm told you should bypass MW and go straight to BF consultant if you want useful advice). Seriously I'm amazed there are whole books about it out there because its not complex and you shouldn't need anyone to witter on about theory, et hose etc to you. That's my tuppence worth anyway. I'm starting to appreciate that the "baby" which includes pregnancy, industry just peddles confusion - and oddly encourages spending and worrying. Women have been coping since humanity began. Doesn't mean there's no room for improvement but do we really need to soul search about it?

Sorry sound like a grump.

Glad everyone is ok, the odd braxton hitch twinge aside. Zoey, hope you're feeling rested.

No idea if Socs has engaged or not. I'm only 30 weeks.so hopefully Socs is still enjoying twirling around and growing nice and strong.

I've bf for 40 months altogether now and only had one set of dirty looks when dd3 was tiny. I could just be thick skinned as I used to live in a town where bf wasn't the norm it is here.

Hello all
I've just discovered the mine of information that is the MN boards and glad to see there is a March 13 group.

Im 30+1 and counting down the weeks. I've had severe nausea since week 6 and its not showing any sign of going, currently on cyclizine which makes it manageable but I've been signed off work for most of the time. Also just been diagnosed with gestation diabetes so the only foods i can face are now limited.
And I've just discovered the pain i have has a name, SPD!! I was starting to think it was all in my imagination.
Just to reassure you all im not really a moaner, just having a grim time of it, looking forward to George arriving (scan said she's a girl but we call her George anyway until she arrive)
Aso looking forward to getting to know you all a bit more

Just thought I'd mention that Groovystyle's FB had a message today about the prices on UppaBaby Vista going up wef 21st. As they've quite a sporting offer on at the moment, and I know some people were considering them, just thought I'd mention.

Hoping to BF, haven't and won't buy anything else until after the birth should it be required. Ah, no... I lie. My close friend told me to buy a big but light scarf which I could sling over the top of me and baby out in public - worked great for her, so I paid a visit to M&S the other day and invested in a cute one (it's got owls on it ).

Bed time for me! Night night all, and a good night's sleep where possible.

I've been reading the comments on bfing with interest. Ds was officially an "aggressive refuser", since a heartless mw tried to force him on for his first feed. After that, he got scared and subsequent efforts by other mws (some also quite brutal) only made it worse. I was determined to bf, despite accusations by the mws that I would "starve my baby" and statements such as "he won't ever latch on" or "you'll have to give in". I was in hospital 5 days trying to get him to feed before they finally relented and let me go home with him. Thanks to some wise mn comments I persevered, pumping and cup feeding him and gently trying to bf him whenever he was hungry. (I definitely recommend an electric pump btw). Eventually he relaxed and then I had the opposite problem as he wanted to be fed for hours at a time! I finally gave up bfing when I got pg this time round.
I suppose the point is that mws can be very unhelpful and make you feel like a failure/ pressurise you to give up, but if you are determined, to bf, pumping/ expressing and giving it in a cup or a bottle can be a stopgap until problems are sorted. I absolutely loved feeding ds and I think the strong bond we have now is a lot to do with that. He has told me he still misses "milky", our word for bfing, so we'll have to see how he adjusts to a new baby getting it!
Oh yes, and see if there is a bf support group in your area. Mine was brilliant and I still have friends I met then.

Hi talulah sorry to hear you're still so nauseous. I was really sick in first trimester, then it eased off in the second, only to come roaring back with a vengence a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't prepared to get all my first trimester symptoms back again. Surely once is enough!

Emsy I've been getting BH for the last 4 weeks or so. Started off hardly noticable but they've been growing in intensity. No pain, but enough to make me stop what I'm doing sometimes.

Rainbow so sorry about dd1. I think you're right about the negativity we all absorb about about breastfeeding. We do sometimes seem to set ourselves up to fail.

But there's so much pressure either way really. I've had friends told they were starving their baby because it lost 200g the day after birth - she was told to wake the bub every two hours for a feed and practically had to force her nipple into his mouth. She was eventually shamed into moving to formula. Others who've tried bf for months before switching to formula get lectures from nurses about how good breast milk is for baby, as if they don't already know that.

In the end, we're incredibly lucky to have options. I think, like most things connected with motherhood, we need to be gentle with ourselves. Sometimes bf will work for us and sometimes it won't. In then end, if you care for your baby, they'll grow up just fine, bf or not.

Shield absolutely appalled at how you were treated by midwives when trying to breastfeed - same goes for the stories of your friends littlebox. Such terrible ignorance from the very medical professionals who are supposed to be helping establish breastfeeding for those of us who want to rather than sabotages our attempts! This is one of the many reasons why I will be opting out of NHS post-natal care.

Good morning ladies.

OHs 21st Birthday today. Spent the morning blowing up balloons and putting up banners. Will have to pop to Asda and get a little cake. Would attempt breakfast in bed, but the smell of bacon and sausage makes me sick. So it's crunchy nut for him!

sheild & littlebox, i am appalled at how midwives treated you both. Breast Feeding is pushed down every women's throat so much that we feel we have to be a success. I live in a rather seasidey place where there's not much for kids and you have to be in the right "groups" to hear about anything baby related. Hoping my MW may give me a list. And i love the world milky haha. Makes me grin :)

Welcome talulah :)

Well, my feeding plan is pretty similar to my birthing plan. It mainly involves waiting and seeing what happens. If I can breastfeed, grand. If I can't, not going to beat myself up about it. And hopefully I'll avoid the dreadful mastitis my sister had with both her kids - she said she knew breast milk was better for them, but she didn't feel they needed to start every feed with a mouthful of blood and pus. So far we have no emergency bottle-feeding supplies in the house, but I've been making sure to point things out to the man when we're out and about ("Look, tiny little bottles! We may need some of those of my boobs don't work," sort of thing) so if he ends up being sent out on an emergency dash to Tesco's for supplies at least he'll know what to get.

Yay, April! But will any of us have sufficient brainpower to make sense of an episode of Doctor Who in April?

Very glad Zoey's doing alright. Apparently the name means "active, lively". Stop living up to it and put your feet up!