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Birth clubs

Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

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Original poster

miserable club

36 replies

noodlekitkat · 03/04/2006 19:59

I am starting a new club for people who are pregnant and feel miserable - depressed, confused, scared, angry, lost...

I find it hard to share my feelings with cheerful pregnant laydies so thought I might form a breakaway group here for anyone else who is wondering what they have got themselves into!

The purpose of the group will be to let off steam and be supportive to others who are finding pregnancy mentally and emotionally difficult.....

Go on whinge to me!

xxN

OP posts:

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Rhubarb · 06/04/2006 19:03

I had and whilst pregnant with dd, it wasn't diagnosed until I was 8 months and nearly killed myself. With ds I got some help fairly quickly. It is isolating and you do think that you are the world's worst person, the only person to be thinking such horrible thoughts whilst pregnant. But recent studies show that you are not, it's actually much more common than people would think, it's just not diagnosed very often.

Please do visit the site. Pretty soon I'll have other women's stories on the site too, to prove that you are not alone. You can contribute yours if you would like. Depression is an illness, you wouldn't suffer tonsilitis without treatment, so why suffer depression? Get help!

kitegirl · 06/04/2006 19:49

Thank heavenes for this thread. The fact is that not everyone is happy, blooming in excited anticipation and enjoying their pregnancy, and it brilliant that we can be honest about it. My antenatal yoga class is full of happy blooming expectant ladies and everyone is joyously exclaiming how they love their bodies and how they are enjoying being pregnant and I just want to scream!! I didn't enjoy my last pregnancy and I am not enjoying this one either - loved having my son and when he arrived it made it all worthwhile, but I could have done without the hormonal rollercoaster, the discomfort, weight gain, pelvic pain, sciatica... This time round I suspect I have proper ante-natal depression as I am a SAHM and the isolation at home is a fertile ground for gloomy thoughts. I hate the tiredness and being constantly knackered and don't get me started on my boobs. 22 weeks so at least I am half way there.

Marls001 · 06/04/2006 20:23

Wow, hockymum, that was a terrible experience. It's not like that at all in US - Dads can stay overnight at the hospital, first off; also all facilities offer epidurals - in fact all my friends (& even my OB/GYN, I suspect) thought I was crazy for not getting one; I'm the only natural birth they knew.

Sounds like they've set it up horribly. You have every right to moan!!!!

lucy5 · 06/04/2006 20:27

I am only 5 weks pregnant and am a bit daunted by it all. I have a dd who is 5 and we'd put off trying for another and then I got broody. Well I got pregnant on the first attempt and I am in shock. Im excited but at times Im thinking god what have I done? Ive missed out the ttc stage that I had with dd and dont feel prepared if that makes sense.

Rhubarb · 06/04/2006 21:09

lucy5, so long as you watch out for the signs of depression, and ask your dh to keep an eye out for you too. If you do find yourself going that way, do tell your mw or GP. But usually depression in pregnancy happens for a reason, either hormonal or circumstantial. If you didn't get it with your first, then you could be ok, so don't worry unnecessarily and congratulations on your pregnancy!

hockeymum · 06/04/2006 21:09

thanks marls and littlemisspiggy for the support. I think I'm finding the emotional rollercoaster the hardest, one minute I'm fine and the next I'm crying but at least its not too long for me now - although how 2 weeks can drag, no one who hasn't been pregnant could possibly understand! I think I'll hit anyone if one more person says to me "it's gone so quick", or "it'll be over before you know it" do you think I'd have a good defence for assault in court if I said my pregnancy hormones were raging

Lucy 5. I too put off being pregnant again having had a tough time being pregnant and delivering dd 3 1/2 years ago, ad we too got pregnant the first day we decided to try again, thinking it would take a year like last time. It is a shock and I think I was talked into it by friends and family saying "oh it wont be as bad as last time" (actually it's worse) and dh making me feel guilty that dd would have been an only child. I am, however, really happy to be having another baby (final one, dh is ready for the snip!) despite all the illness and my worries about the section and I know that a couple of years down the line it will be worth it.

Marls001 · 08/04/2006 15:51

Hi Hockeymum - many similarities here. Also cajoled by friends and family to have a second child; they also said (of the post-delivery-yucky-newborn-depression period) "it won't be as bad as last time" - and it probably won't be, as we were in a one-room loft with DS but a large house with this one. My Mom was the one who made me feel guilty that DS would be an only child; she was one and she hated it! We're also very happy to be having our 2nd & final baby - DH may or may not get the snip, as I like being able to take birth control in such a way to have 4 periods/year. I also know it'll be well worth it once the child becomes a cute, sleeping-through-the-night pudgy baby I'll fall in love with like DS instead of an old-man-faced whiny thing with scratchy fingernails. I'm sure there were some happy moments in those first 4 months but honestly don't remember ANY. How sad is that?? Know that a couple of years down the line, as you said, it'll be well worth it. Just have to get through the hell that's coming when this one first gets here.

Original poster

noodlekitkat · 24/04/2006 19:43

Still missing thre point. Everytime I see someone pushing a pram down the street I can't help but think:

"God, that looks boring." And carried on to work relieved that I would be doing something exciting and paid all day.

Am 5 months pregnant and still feel the same way. Help! Surely it can't be as bad is it looks or no one would do it?

OP posts:

kayzed · 24/04/2006 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

noodlekitkat · 25/04/2006 20:01

Hi Kayzed,

Thanks for your message. Good points you are making here. I am beginning to care less about what other people think these days also which is quite liberating.

At the end of the day I like my baby but don't really care for the lobotomy-like vision of motherhood you bump into from time to time.

Anyway nice to hear from you.

xxN

OP posts:

koshka1984 · 06/05/2006 16:32

Hi
I feel like i dont have anyone to talk to. my boyf just keeps on shouting at me cos im hormonal.
Whenever we have an argument i want to hurt myself but i cant cos of the baby.
it just seems so strange that im pg. most of the time i dont want to be and change it but then i change my mind.
argh!
sorry just had to get it off my chest.

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