ok so i need to rant. and whinge. my reflexology was lovely by the way- i highly recommend as a post-birth treat, for all you ladies. I fell asleep. For an hour! It was the most relaxing hour everrr.
Anyway. Sorry I'm going to be a moaning-minny and all self-absorbed, please do ignore me, I will feel better tomorrow.
I had my fourth sweep today. As to wether it works, I can't say, but there we go. I've been booked in for an induction next tuesday. The midwife today said that it would involve a pessary, etc etc. I asked if it would be possible to just have my waters broken- i'm 4cm dilated right? Surely that would just be quicker. Rather than keeping me in hospital for nearly two days because it could take so long. She said that it was my choice, but it would be so much more intense and so much more painful, and did I not want a gradual build up to labour?
I can understand her point, but I'm so fed up with being pregnant I don't care what way it comes out now.
Anyway. Then she tells me that my cervix (good talking midget) is all ready to go really, but the baby's head isnt tucked in properly and so isn't low enough, which is why it hasn't come yet, because there isn't enough pressure on the cervix to cause contractions. (I think, this is what I gather).
It sounds so stupid I know. On one hand I want to have my baby now, please, so we can have a cuddle and start being a family, but on the other hand I don't think I want to be induced at all, and will I really get a choice between breaking my waters and a pessary? I have no idea which would be best and less traumatic (pain isn't really bothering me, its all gonna hurt right?).
I feel like such a failure already. And surely that shouldn't happen until after I've had the baby! I've walked every day, I've been bouncing on my ball, been on my hands and knees. Sleep on my left side. Hot curry, sex, hot bath, stern-inner-voice, pineapple, reflexology. You name it. I've done it. At least now I know the problem is the baby's engagement, not my cervix. I've spent all afternoon miserable. Crying. DP isn't home yet. I want a cuddle. And a baby. Is thaat too much to ask?
Sorry everyone. Just feel so rubbish. Come on baby, your deadline is Tuesday.