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Connect with mums-to-be with similar due dates to share experiences and support.

November 2012 - arrivals are now underway

999 replies

StuntNun · 04/10/2012 12:43

Previous ante-natal thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1573396-November-2012-counting-down-the-weeks

New post-natal thread for the graduates: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1579907-November-2012-babies-are-here-at-last

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CandyPop · 05/10/2012 23:09

pass I have mild carpal tunnel syndrome for the last 2 weeks. Nights are worse as I often wake up to numb and stiff hands. Gets slightly better during day and repeats at night. Told it will disappear after baby is born .... Hmmm....

I'm so ready to have this baby now. Sleeping is getting very uncomfortable now :(

Working up to 37+4 days!!

TheDetective · 05/10/2012 23:56

Back from work - no reply to email (not a surprise!)

VQ This is a common tactic yes. The problem is that I see it from the other end. What makes it so unacceptable to me is that when there are staffing issues the first port of call is often the community midwives - pull the community midwife in. Stop the home births. Rather than shutting the unit to any further admissions (hardly ideal either, but remember, neither scenario is ideal!) because that will come with a fine, lets stop the home births because its free!!

I might be a bit of a hippy one - I make no apologies for the fact, but I believe strongly in a womans right to choose. Trusts set up all these guidelines - which make no acknowledgement for choice, or disagreement with medical opinion. Research does not always give accurate answers. And the guidelines may not be based on sound unbiased research (in my opinion). A guideline should just be that. Women are free to accept or decline intervention/procedures. And as a midwife, we are supposed to be an advocate for women and their wishes! I might be employed by a Trust, but I am bound by the NMC, and I'd rather lose my job providing supportive care to a woman, than my registration by not supporting a woman and her taking me to the NMC. If in doubt, I would always refer to my NMC guidance. My registration is what is important to me.

In my ideal world, I would not be working in the NHS. But that is another tale! In the meanwhile, I follow the guidelines like a 'good' midwife, but I am always ready to advocate for what my women want, and would never bully or make someone feel they had to accept a particular type of care. Advocacy is my specialist subject Grin I have supported a lot of women in hospital who have wanted varying types of care, and I'd like to think they have been pleasantly surprised to find midwives working in the system who WILL provide the care they want.

Likewise, there are midwives out there who would not be happy to do this.

Anyway, what I am really trying to say is that maternity services are a right. And the right to have a midwife attend at birth outweighs the Trusts need to save money by reducing staffing, or cancelling homebirths as the first port of call.

In my heart, I believe that if I rang in labour, and refused to attend hospital, that there would be a midwife sent. Not from the unit, no, but a supervisor of midwives is always on call - and in this scenario, would she be able to not attend? I doubt it. I'm fairly certain on the fact that no Trust would want the fall out if the above scenario where to occur. I've known many women be told the same tack, and to call in labour and be told no midwife can attend. Low and behold when they refuse to attend, a midwife is found. I can't say I've seen it from my end, but I've certainly known it happen to women.

The point of my email is that I feel so unsupported with my wishes, and worried that the stress is going to be detrimental if I have to argue and stand my ground when in labour. It isn't the time to have to do that! I've made it clear from the start I'd not be attending unless in an obstetric emergency, and there has been plenty of time to come up with a plan, but none has been made. And it isn't through lack of effort on my behalf. I'm sure they just hoped/expected I would go away!

As for an independent midwife - if they can't provide a home birth service, then I'd be quite happy for them to contract services to an independent midwife. At their expense of course. :) (It has happened elsewhere....)

Donna putting aside any professional experiences, with in 4 weeks after DS's birth, I knew I wanted, and needed to birth my next child at home, away from a medical setting. This is my personal, not professional opinion. I wasn't a midwife back then, and being a midwife hasn't changed how I feel. It isn't lack of confidence in midwives or obstetricians, but lack of confidence in myself to be able to birth. Lack of control, which I need in order not to have years of torment inside me at what happened first time around. It is about keeping me safe, both physically and mentally, and providing my baby with the safest birth I can. Safe to me is many things - equipment and medical staff do not equal safety to me. You can have all the medical equipment in the world at your disposal - but it doesn't mean you can't cause more harm than good with it. Appropriate intervention is how I like to see it.

Ummmm. This is an emotive subject Blush

TheDetective · 06/10/2012 00:02

I think the baby is trying to engage. Having some leg clenching, face scrunching sharp pains in the fanjo. Lovely! They are making me really wince! Gah!

Add to that the braxton hicks, and the rather active baby, I'm getting beat up from the inside! Tis a little sore now!

I remember this from last time.... my how it seems 5 minutes since...!

applepieinthesky · 06/10/2012 00:12

Had a row with DP. Now walking the dog alone in the rain because I had to get out. I really dislike him right now and don't think there will be a wedding

TheDetective · 06/10/2012 00:14

What happened Apple? Men can be such idiots sometimes..... I'm a little worried you are out alone at gone midnight though :( Can't say I haven't done it myself, but I always worry about others being out alone...

Iheartpasties · 06/10/2012 00:45

oooof, not a great nights sleep. We had dd in with us all night coz she wasn't well, of course she slept on my pillow all night so I hadno room. I dont have much room as it is!! argh! dear of her though she seems much better this morning. I do love having her in our bed for cuddles, but turning over is very hard when there is NO room.

apples are you ok?

GTbaby · 06/10/2012 01:44

Itchiness. I'm sure I've heard about it being bad in pregnancy? I've noticed it last few days. But only in evening. Is it possible it's in my head? It's driving me nuts.

Iheartpasties · 06/10/2012 03:00

I have seen a few threads recently about itchiness in pregnancy. I don't know anything about it though - sorry.

ShellyBobbs · 06/10/2012 04:02

And Helllooooooo 4am club. Well, I actually haven't been to sleep since Wednesday night. I think the babies head has just nearly popped out of my bum, it's doing a funny roll back and forth a bit like a screw driver and I felt like I was going to break wind and fart it out (lovely). Lots of lovely pressure pains, belly ache and movement in the fanjo from baba in the last few hours.

Thank you mother nature, it's not like I need to sleep or anything :)

ShellyBobbs · 06/10/2012 04:05

Detective Have sent you the name of my new midwife, do you know her? She did say she's been doing it years.

Iheartpasties · 06/10/2012 04:14

oh my goodness shelly imagine farting the baby out. Wehn i was little i thought you could choose where the baby came out, your fanny or your bum. But I thought your fanny was called a 'bagina'!! hehe

ShellyBobbs · 06/10/2012 04:17

Haha. I was telling my kids about my flat poo the other day and how the babies head must be flattening it (we have many a conversation about poo), my 10 year old son must have been pondering it all night because the next day he came into my bedroom and asked me if the baby has now got my poo all over it's head Grin I looked at him and said, 'Joe, the poo's up the wrong street isn't it?', he looked at me for a few seconds, enlightenment dawned, then he burst out laughing Grin.

Iheartpasties · 06/10/2012 04:32

:)

DonnaDoon · 06/10/2012 05:06

Apple hope you tucked up now....Detective Fair play to you chick I really hope you get what you need. I cant sleep so have got up for coffee (tut tut)

ShellyBobbs · 06/10/2012 05:15

Wonder how Evil is doing, she must have a little bundle by now............

ShellyBobbs · 06/10/2012 06:04

Right, off for a long soak then will try and kick hubby out of bed and get a few hours snoozing in.

rowingdowntheriver · 06/10/2012 06:37

Ooh, I missed the 4am club. That must be a first.

Nothing exciting going on here, DH off on a stag do today so my parents are coming up and we're going to go into London to visit one of the museums or gallery's. No sure which one yet but hopefully one that is entertaining enough for my 1 1/2 year old DS. Any ideas?

Iheart, definitely call your maternity ward/midwife today about the itchiness. It could be a sign of something (can't remember the name of the condition) that is serious enough for them to want to induce the baby a bit early, especially if the itching is mainly in the hands. Hopefully it is nothing.

Sophiathesnowfairy · 06/10/2012 06:59

I think itchiness of palms and feet is a sign of obstetric cholitus ( can't think how to spell it so won't even try), if it's the bump it's probably stretching skin as don't we grow most in our last four weeks? Could be completely wrong there!

On this this thing about kids early waking suddenly over the last few week. Don't think I have gone mad(which actually I may have done) but someone said yesterday loads of people are having sleep issues becaus of the full moon and inparticular its alignment with Jupiter! I looked it up and sure enough there is something weird in the planets at the mo which only happens once in 100 years or something but I haven't found anything about sleep.

Passmethecrisps · 06/10/2012 07:35

Morning. I think carpal tunnel is the answer - I woke up with pins and needles. Finished work not a minute too soon!

Hope you are ok apple.

sophia that sound about right! Ask any teacher about the effect of a windy day on children and you will be left convinced of the impact nature has!

ValiumQueen · 06/10/2012 07:44

AFAIK sophie is right about the itching, but best report it anyway.

detective thank you for your frank and open reply. It is interesting how my fear draws me to machines and clinicians, and yours drives you away. The idea of a home birth so appeals to me, but it also fills me with terror. You are very brave, and I so wish you get the birth you want. I think your baby will be half the size of my lump, plus you are half my age, which no doubt helps.

apple I do hope you are ok x

rowingdowntheriver · 06/10/2012 07:52

I'm intrigued passmee, what does a windy day do to children?!

StuntNun · 06/10/2012 07:57

Rowing the Natural History Museum - lots of animals, the blue whale and dinosaurs plus the huge dinosaur in the entrance hall. Any child would love it. If you're near the British Museum, you could nip in and see the Rosetta stone and the Elgin marbles while we still have them. Not so interesting for a toddler though.

Itching in the bump is just the skin stretching and is merely annoying. When you have obstetric cholestasis you will be so itchy you'll contemplate taking a cheese grater to your skin and this needs to be checked out urgently.

I would urge anyone with carpal tunnel syndrome to ask their GP for splints. You only need to wear them at night and they hold your wrist in a position so the nerves don't get squashed.

OP posts:
DesperateHousewife21 · 06/10/2012 08:16

I've been checking evils fb profile but nothing on there. Not sure if she posts on there much though so we might hear it here first.

horseylady · 06/10/2012 08:44

Fab night last night!! Was lovely to get dressed up and feel good! B

Shattered now and do not want to work all weekend :(

Apple hope you're ok?!

rowingdowntheriver · 06/10/2012 09:01

Thanks stuntnun, the natural history museum sounds good. I think we'll try that