Jan 2013 part 4: the one where we are closer to the end than the beginning

[PricklyPickle]

Here we go!

Stats: 16 girls, 9 boys, 13 surprises

BuntyCollocks (29) DC2 EDD 28/12/12 She?s a girl!
Pmgkt (33) DC2 EDD 28/12/12 He?s a boy!
Birdies (33) DC2 EDD 30/12/12 She?s a girl!
Pascha (35) DC2 EDD 30/12/12 It?s a surprise!
PricklyPickle (31) DC1 EDD 31/12/12 It's a surprise!
LowLu (31) DC2 EDD 02/1/13
TootieMaroo (32) DC2 EDD 03/1/13
MarasmeAbsolu (31) DC2 EDD 03/01/13 She?s a girl!
Lora1982 (30) DC1 EDD 04/01/13 He?s a boy!
IsSpringSprangedYet (?) DC4 EDD 05/01/13
DollFisher (28) DC1 EDD 05/01/13 She?s a girl!
Allchik (30) DC1 EDD 06/01/13 It?s a surprise!
Pockemuchka DC3 EDD 06/01/13 It?s a surprise!
Happyhow (26) DC1 EDD 07/01/13 It?s a surprise!
EmilieFloge (38) DC? EDD 07/01/13
Complicated24 (44) DC1 EDD 07/01/13 It's a surprise!
Newbie6 (36) DC1 EDD 08/01/13 He?s a boy!
Norfolkinway (25) DC1 EDD 09/01/13
Octanegirl (34) DC1 EDD 09/01/13 He?s a boy!
BumgrapesofWrath (30) DC2 EDD 10/01/13
Kim222 (30) DC1 EDD 11/01/13
Lulabel27 (29) DC2&3 (twins) EDD 11/01/13
CraftyGirly (26) DC1 EDD 11/01/13 She?s a girl!
Cejay8 (32) DC2 EDD 12/01/13 It?s a surprise!
Tinyeyes123 (30) DC1 EDD 13/01/13 She?s a girl!
CreepyCrawly (22) DC1 EDD 13/01/13 She?s a girl!
PixelCarrier (37) DC1 EDD 13/01/13 It?s a surprise!
Shakemyhead (37) DC1 EDD 14/01/13 She's a girl!
Godzookey (35) DC1 EDD 14/01/13 He?s a boy!
PeshwariNaan (33) DC1 EDD 14/01/13
Hormonalhell (40) DC2 EDD 15/01/13 He?s a boy!
DoIgetastickerforthat (36) DC4 EDD 16/01/13 She?s a girl!
Theboutiquemummy (35) DC1 EDD 17/01/13
ChutesTooNarrow (33) DC2 EDD 18/01/13 She?s a girl!
Glorious (28) DC1 EDD 18/01/13
Tugstonia (33) DC1 EDD 18/01/13 It's a surprise!
SpringFlowers (39) DC4 EDD 18/01/13 It?s a surprise!
Eagleray (40) DC1 EDD 18/01/13
13mma (29) DC1 EDD 18/01/13 scan 13/09/12
LetThereBeCupcakes (30) DC1 EDD 20/01/13
Silversixpence (29) DC2 EDD 20/01/13
mulan07 (27) DC1 EDD 20/01/13 He?s a boy!
BadgerFace (34) DC1 EDD 21/01/13 She?s a girl!
PreggoFabulous (30) DC1 EDD 22/01/13 He?s a boy!
Bunny222 (31) DC1 EDD 22/01/13 It?s a surprise!
Bealos (34) DC2 EDD 22/01/13 She?s a girl!
AppleCrumples (??) DC4 EDD 22/01/13 It's a surprise!
Woody2313 (33) DC1 EDD 23/01/13
SigningGirl (?) DC1 EDD 24/01/13
Mrsbugsywugsy (34) DC1 EDD 25/01/13 She's a girl!
SquealyB (29) DC1 EDD 26/01/13 It?s a surprise!
knuckingfackered (39) DC2 EDD 26/1/13
Thinkingpositivethoughts (28) DC1 EDD 26/01/13
MrsMallard (35) DC1 EDD 26/01/13 She?s a girl!
Salt1 (38) DC1 EDD 27/01/13 She?s a girl!
Lilblondepessimist (33) DC4 EDD 28/01/13
MamaMary (31) DC2 EDD 28/01/13 She?s a girl!
Sebsmama (32) DC2 EDD 29/01/13
BionicEmu (26) DC2 EDD 29/01/13
Missymoo (32) DC2 EDD 30/01/13
DiscoDomina (31) DC1 EDD 30/1/13 He's a boy!
Brugmansia (35) DC1 EDD 31/01/13
Mummypud (32) DC3 EDD 31/01/13
PipIsOutNow (27) DC2 EDD 31/01/13 scan 19/09/12

Oh Pascha just saw your last post, so sorry to hear about your DH's nan

thanks MrsBug. She was a fiesty old thing. She wasn't expected to go anytime soon but I'm not surprised really as she fairly rattled with medication and was in constant pain. I hope she's found peace with her husband now.

I get backache too, i'm a side sleeper anyway and I prop up bump and knees with pillows but its getting less and less easy to do. DH jokes that I'm building a wall to keep him out. Maybe I am . Perhaps we should all take a leaf out of Bealos's book and see someone to manipulate us.

I was getting anxious about visitors a few months ago so have sorted out already.

DP's mother lives overseas and when she's in the UK will stay with us for a while but always for longer than I'm happy with. For various reasons it's a bit of an issue anyway.

I was getting worried she'd come and stay pre and post birth and DP would tell her it's fine. I decided the best approach was to act early and informally mention I'd prefer to have no one staying then as I wanted time with just DP, baby and I. Fortunately she completely understood, having been living with her PILs when DP was born and had no real space of her own. My parents live near by and have said she can stay there.

Congrats Bernie I hope you had a wonderful wedding day and a relaxing spa weekend.

Welcome goldie.

Pashca sorry for your loss.

Sounds like we are all being very productive (pass the halo polish). Birdies my parents live in Spain and we will be letting them stay with us on the strict proviso that they are to assit with domestic chores etc and give us space to get used to the new addition to the family and they are VERY easy going. I would feel bad telling familt to stay in the travel lodge but that is just me and I am sure I will regret that !

Sorry for your families loss pascha.

For ds1 my dad who lives in Austria came over with his wife, I'm not a fan of hers, plus I didn't know how I would feel about feeding in front of them, so told them they had to find somewhere to stay, so they rented a house for a week nearby, which worked well. The other thing is that if you gave family staying it makes it difficult when you want other friends to come over, all too manic. The other factor is are they good house guests normally. My dad can stay for a week and I'm lucky if he makes a cup of tea without me asking him too, so to have him stay would be hard work. On the other hand my mum came up last time and stayed when ds1 was a few weeks old, she hoovered, drove me places, took ds out for walks and was generally great. This time my dad won't be booking his ticket til its arrived and his wife won't come as her daughter is due 2 weeks after me, but my mum is coming the day of my due date to stay for 2 nights as my dh is away the day after my due date doing best man duties. (Not too far away and he will come back if anything happens) but I know it will be chilled and she will be calm. She will sort of ds1 too which will be one less thing to worry about. Long message sorry.

pascha so sorry for your loss.

I've definitely found that I get more rolls and squirms than anything, although still plenty of kicks. I also still get the weird flutters which must be her hands down low.

I had my mum, dad and gran to stay when I had DS. it was nice having the support tbh, and then my DMIL came down for a week to help when they left (DH split his paternity so he was off one week, back the next, then off again).

My mum and dad will definitely be down again as I need someone to look after DS whilst I'm having DD, and to look after DH at night! DM will also hopefully be back in the delivery suite with DH and I. She was great at supporting us, especially my DH. It was such a horrendous birth I'm glad she was there to watch out for him whilst he was making sure I was ok.

DMIL will also be down for a week at some point when my mum goes home. I have no issues with visitors, but then mine are lovely and very much do the stuff visitors are meant to do when you have a newborn, I.e. help out and not hog the baby!

pascha sorry to hear your news.

I'm lucky that dp family all live in the same town so don't need to be accomodated. My family (well dm and dsis) live a short train ride away. The only 1 who has ever needed accomodating is my dad who lives in Thailand but I put a stop to him staying here as we don't have the space (and he tells inappropriate stories about all his Thai girlfriends in front of dcs - urgh!). He now stays with my sister and only let's her know his plans.

He has just announced he will b over in feb. He will be in for a shock as dsis has never mentioned dc4 and I don't have any contact until he turns up on my doorstep have thought about getting email address from dsis but find I can't be bothered!

Dcs have made glitter pictures which was fun at the time but now there's glitter everywhere!

Sorry to hear about your loss, pascha.

Definitely noticing squirms and wriggles mainly, and only the occasional strong kick.

I've got a U shaped bolster that goes along my back, then flattens out under my pillow, then down the front under my bump and the between my legs. It's basically a big bean bag, so I can squish the beans around and make it flatter in some places (like under my pillow or bump) and bigger in others where I need more support (like for my back or between my knees). Since I had that my sleeping has been soooo much better. I'd thoroughly recommend something similar if you can find it, or an arrangement of pillows that does the same thing...

My mum's coming to stay with us from overseas to help in the first couple of weeks. I'm really looking forward to that as she's definitely good at helping out and getting things done, & I don't get to see her very often anyway. She gets on well with my husband too, so hopefully it'll all go smoothly.

I bought my first things for the baby this weekend- some baby grows from eBay. Every time I try and think about buying anything big, we get given it or lent it by someone!!! It's almost getting funny. We feel really blessed though, and I'm very thankful that God seems to be looking out for us!!!

On another issue, I was wondering if anyone could help me with a debate I'm having with DP about car seats.

We have a whole load of baby stuff from Freecycle. It was a job lot of all sorts of things. My view is we keep what we want and pass on our get rid of stuff we don't want or need. DP thinks it would be a waste to not use any of the free stuff.

Included is a car seat. It is part of a maxi cosi travel system and we also have the carry cot and pushchair seat but not the chassis. We've bought our own pram now anyway. A second pushchair could be useful, eg for travel abroad, but I don't see the point of spending money getting a new chassis unless we can pick up one super cheap. The carseat is also not compatible with our new pushchair. DP isadamant we will need it and that it would be a waste of money to buy a new one.

So, help required with arguments I can use to persuade DP he is being nuts on this issue. From what I can see carseats are one thing where second hand is not a good idea anyway. It just seems crazy and completely impractical as well to only have a carseat that can't be used with our lovely shiny pram.

Brugs personally I think you are bang on the money about NOT using the 2nd hand car seat. I am happy to have all sorts of hand me downs but I wouldnt accept a car seat from anyone I didn't know as from a child safety point of view you don't know the history of it! There must be some online sites that will help you with this argument?

With any other bits and bobs that u don't think you want I wouldn't keep them just for the sake of it - I have enough problems storing what I want let alone storing stuff I know I won't use? And if you were to give it to someone else you could really be helping put someone that REALLY does need it?

So in short, you are right he is wrong, haha!

For some reason he seems to have become really attached to this carseat. I don't get why. There's loads of other stuff in the stash we're keeping, including a cot with a new mattress still in its wrapping, travel cot, high chair and plastic bath, along with bits of clothes. Having this free then should free up cash for bits we want or need to buy new.

We're both generally pretty laid back about our approach to how we will be parents and don't get anxious but I think I may just have to get a bit worked up and PFB about this carseat.

Brug we had the exact same issue when we bought our Stookke second hand. The seller was willing to include a car seat for £50.

I was intially tempted and sought out advice on here and was convinced that unless you could be 100% sure that car seat had never been in an accident and was properly stored (i.e. you were being given it by family or a very close friend) then the risk that it might not be 100% structurally safe was not worth saving the extra ££.

DH was not convinced but I told him that in the unlikely event of a car accicdent and the baby getting injured, I would not be able to say that I had done everything I could to keep the baby safe and that would just kill me. And then he relented. It was a no compromise issue for me in the end and I think he realised that. Most of the other things you buy second hand is just not going to have the same role in protecting your baby.

HTH

Birdies I have same dilemma as you about inviting people to stay and must admit I hadn't really thought about it before now. DH's family live within a 1.5 hour drive so not too bad. I don't think I would mind DH's parents staying for one or two nights (they live 1.5 hours away and are elderly now) but might not feel like that after birth. I do get on with them well and DH's mother has knitted 2 gorgeous blankets and gloves. One person I would absolutely love to stay is my mother but she had a stroke just before Christmas last year and is now in a nursing home. She feels so guilty she can't help me as was there when my two sisters had all their kids (6 in total). My father died a few years ago so it is really important that our baby gets to know its granny (my mother) as don't know how long she will be around. We will need to go and visit her as soon as we can (she's in N Yorkshire and we live near London). My two sisters will be pretty chilled and will definitely want to visit us, but don't think they will want to stay. One lives in N Yorkshire, the other an hour from us.

4 more weeks to go til I finish work. Commute is getting harder now especially when no-one gives up their seat on tube. My tummy is now huge and I'm wearing a "Baby on Board" badge but commuters too busy reading papers to notice. There was an elderly lady on tube coming home and was more offended that no-one gave up their seat for her, even the ones in the priority seats who are meant to give up their seats. OK, moan over!

Hi ladies.
Sorry for your loss pasha.

After some advice girls. Been to the consultant today and had another scan. measured bump all seemed ok (although if I go to full term they predict 9lbs6!)
Anyway, my cervix length has shrank loads in last three weeks, and consultant is worried about early (pre 35wk) labour. So he wants to give me steroids for baby to ensure that his lungs are ok in case I do go into labour really early. They have said there's nothing they can do to hold the cervix with a stitch (too far into pregnancy) so the best thing to do is to give baby these steroids just in case. Was feeling really stressed out so haven't have the steroids today, am booked in for two weeks time. I hadn't heard about steroids before, and they didn't have a leaflet for me to read or anything, but apparently it's what they give people who may have babies early due to high blood pressure/ bleeding/ twins.
Has anyone else had to have this or know anything about it. Giving baby steroids sounds scary, but then so does him coming too early. My SPD is awful at the moment, had been awake since 2am with the pain, so wasn't in the right frame of mind for making a decision today.

Would really welcome your thoughts. Xx

bunny sorry that's so scary for you :(. I haven't experienced this but i think the steroids are to mature babies lungs so if he does come early hopefully he wouldn't have breathing probs. At this point they are pretty well developed and just need to put on weight. Apparently lungs are last to fully develop hence the steroids.

Really hope everything is ok for you. My SIL had a baby at 29 weeks 7 weeks ago and she has been fine just needed help with breathing and obviously had a lot of growing to do x

Hey Bunny - steroids help baby's lungs to develop a wee bit faster in case of preterm birth - all the medical evidence indicates that it is not harmful and actually save life. Hope you can take it very easy for the coming week, and that maybe resting, and laying down as much as you can will help?

As for visitors - had my Ps come and stay for a week when DD was 4 or 5 days old (they are abroad). It was hard - I am not used to having people in my space, our house was tiny and a dump and my dad does not deal with competition very well (he gets jealous if my mum does not concentrate her attention on him). As they left, my PILs arrived. While they where staying with friends an hour or so away, they insisted on having all lunches and dinners with us, the "structured" way.
I don't know a newborn who can cope with "structure mealtimes" - it ended-up being hell, I resented having to pump / feed with them in front of me (or having to bugger off to another room)

This time - noone for a month!

Complicated24 Can you ask people to give up a seat for you on the tube? I was offered a seat for the first time yesterday which I gladly took (having been on a country walk and was knackered!) but I don't have a big bump and don't take long tube journeys, so haven't asked anyone to get up for me yet!

brugs - according to miriam stoppard (who in my eyes knows everything) agrees with you that it is the only thing to always buy news, incase has been involved in an accident x

Brugs Put your foot down and tell him no way are you using a second hand carseat - you don't know where its been or what has happened to it. The damage he should worry about isn't visible with the naked eye - its stress fractures inside the structure of the plastic. Only needs a small shunt of the right force to cause that plastic to break down, usually near the belt mountings. Your baby could fly out of the chair.

Its the same as with motorbike helmets. They recommend not using them again even after a very small accident for a good reason - its already done its job by absorbing the impact the first time. It wouldn't survive a second time.

Bunny that must be a bit scary. I'm afraid I have no experience but I understand that they are likely to help with preterm babies so would be guided by the doctors and midwives.

Complicated I get the tube and a busy train everyday and haves baby on board badge too. Most days I get offered a seat but when I don't I have starters politily tapping the people in the priority seatson the shoulder and asking them would they mind if I had their seat. Most people are mortified that they did not see or did not offer. No issues so far at all I think most people don't mind giving up their seat for a pregnant lady.

Thanks Squealy and Bealos will give that a go. Maybe I was just as self-absorbed before I was pregnant and didn't notice pregnant women on tube either. I definitely do now and hope I will always give up my seat for someone who needs it after I have had baby. Commute in morning not so bad, but I find my tummy is really tight after a long day at work. It is as if baby is getting into a really small ball right on my bladder!

Aw bunny that must be scary for you,but its fab they have noticed now so u n baby can be looked after.Steroid injections are supposed to be amazing for toughening up babies lungs.Why not give the charity Tommys a buz,they r a charity that does lots of wrk with prem babies,if ur informed u may feel calmer x x x

One of the ladies from my NCT has had her baby...6wks early...foot first...3 hr labour!eek!mum n bub fine,but bloody hell!!x

I just want to come back to say that, at 30wks, I gave birth to my triplets by emergency C-section. Eleni Isabelle, Katerina Rose and Alexander Nikalaos (Greek names, because I'm Greek) were born each slightly less than a minute apart (and in that order), so 02:41, 42, 43.

Eleni is in my arms at the moment, but unfortunately Katy and Alexander are in hospital, SCBU, due to difficulties with their breathing, as their lungs were so small, so currently they are being assisted with breathing, but, according to doctors, all going well, they will be allowed out in roughly 2-4wks. It seems such a long time.

I'm off to postnatal!

oh WOW! slightlytipsy congratulations!!!!!!

Good luck to the babas and you....

slightlytipsy wow congratulations! Hope all goes well with you and babies!

Had a funny moment in asda this morning. Had all dcs with me which is obviously stressful but at checkout I got a really strong periody pain in my bump and tops of legs. Def not contractions (I should know) and went away once I was sitting down with dcs in front of tv so am thinking am just over doing it! Have midwife tomorrow so will check with her but has anyone else had this?