November 2012 - the ten week countdown

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1547119-November-2012-a-couple-of-early-arrivals-please-will-the-rest-stay-put

Stats list: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/antenatal_clubs/1485512-November-2012-Stats-List

By health issues - I mean inherited cancers btw.

I just said that's how I feel, it's not necessarily correct I accept.

It's a very emotive issue. I don't want to upset anyone.

Back from my 32 weeks scan. Midwife and consultant very pleased with my giant babies. Twin one has a current estimated weight of 4lbs12 and twin 2 estimated at 5lbs5. All good with babies and have had 3 different sonographers confirm 2 girls.

Am exhausted from my waddle around the hospital and Mothercare. Nap time.

Wow they are very healthy weights gardenpixies

Sorry apple I thought I'd upset you! Don't want to upset anyone either.

Having just been through a hellish year with DSIL battling bowel cancer - which seems to have a genetic link in DH's family - we're taking no chances so if something has anti-cancer properties we're onto it at the mo'. It was so hard as she has a 3 and 8 year old and at one point it looked like she might not survive. Thank god she's had the all clear. Sadly she is now torturing herself because she didn't BF her two kids (she had no family support :( ) and is worrying about them going through similar in the future.

DH is still really scared about bowel cancer though as there is a lot of it in his (very pro bottle) family - he's a marine biologist so is very pro natural biological solutions being best, where his family are more of the 'dazzled by human ingenuity' types who still kinda hold the 60s view that formula is an improvement on nature - which I don't think the science justifies anymore.

I have to confess to thinking there could be other factors increasing the cancer risk on his side of the family (weight is a real issue with the inlaws and I know that doesn't help).... but m'eh I'm also a 'blind as a bat' contact lens wearer so if I can avoid blindly stumbling down to the microwave / kettle in the night then that's good by me. My sis loved BFing so I'm hoping I enjoy it too.

The only point I felt I might be vaguely judged last night was when I mentioned that bottle feeding had an advantage in that I could enjoy a niiiiiiice bottle of wine soonish - but thankfully the mw laughed and explained how to pump and dump so even if BFing I'll be able to get a little bit tiddly every now and again.

I think whatever you do feeding wise you are made to feel rubbish by some people. I bottle fed my first two because dd1 wouldn't latch and feed andi had a hellish first three weeks with no support and all the midwives could say was keep trying. It ended up, she wouldn't latch because she had a slightly wonky head and thus face because of being breach and I was beating myself up over it and no one helped me come to a decision to stop and when I did I felt aweful and shit and like a really crap mother, and no one told me otherwise.

With dd2 I didn't even try bottle from word go.

With ds1 I decided to give it a go with my new super supportive husband. I manged 11 weeks, I did the best I could and then moved to a bottle.

I think I might do the same with this one.

You need to do what suits you and what is best for you and your baby and your family and never feel guilty. It might not go to plan. We are not all born BFrs, just like some people find it suits them brilliantly and love it.

FFS! Just typed a massive post only for the laptop to reboot as I clicked send.

YW my mum said exactly the same thing this morning re fat stores! As she says, I had virtually none pre pregnancy and as such it's so important I put on as much weight as possible now while I can. She reckons she gained about 4 or 5 stone when preggers with me and despite continuing to eat loads afterwards she lost it all again just through bfing. She couldn't exercise because of her back. She also pointed out I'm so low risk for GD that it's not worth getting upset about and she had glucose in her wee a few times but was never diabetic. Like me she just has a ridiculously sweet tooth . So rest assured, I spent all morning eating cake with her while DH was at work, blissfully unaware!

Apple I was horrified when my mw said to me at 11 weeks "and I assume you will be breastfeeding". In all honesty I hadn't even thought about it! Although it is my intention to give bf my best shot, I wholly accept it's not for everyone and I may end up having to bottle feed. I'm a bit torn as I personally feel that something from a packet can't compete with something nature has spent 100s of years developing and as such the only real benefactors of formula milk are the drugs companies that produce them, yet at the same time I whole heartedly sympathise that you should never be pressurised into something you aren't comfortable with. And up here, at least, I feel there is far too much pressure on new mums to BF. It's a very personal thing. Do what works best and to hell with everyone else xxx

As for stubborn babies, mine has unfortunately inherited my genes . Sleepless nights go from worry that baby hasn't moved all day to being kept awake by some severe internal organ abuse!!

No I'm not easily upset YW. Glad your DSIL has been given the all clear, it must have been a very scary time for you all. I completely understand people wanting to breastfeed and if you can then good for you, but like MissMummy it really annoys me when people just assume that you are and then try to make you feel bad when they find out you're not.

Wow pixies!!! Good job! You've clearly been providing 5* accomodation to those wee lassies - they're thriving. We've got a 32 wk scan next Friday - I hope this singleton is as good a size. My wee premmie niece was smaller than one of them when she was allowed home from hospital after 2 months! That is so reassuring. I hope ours is as big!

I'm open about everything!! If I can great, if not I can't. I'll not beat myself up about anything.

My mum totally pro breast, both my sister and I were breast fed until weaning I think lol my mother in law totally the opposite!! Hated it and bottle fed. I don't think my husband and I are any worse for wear for anything!! Considering we both had different diets :)

Do what's best for you!! I still want a ga for labour.....

I think it depends on area too. My sis' mw nearly fell over when she announced she'd like to try BFing her prem in a hospital where most Mums spent the days after birth nipping out for a fag :( (I think Fife has the lowest rates in Scotland?) and was made to feel a bit like an odd lentil weaver for suggesting it!!! Whereas mates south in Oxfordshire (including one who had BF her first for 2 years but just couldn't get her 2nd to latch correctly, even though she clearly knew what she was doing, it turned out to be two undiagnosed tongue ties) who had to give up due to baby losing so much weight were made to feel equally weird by the medical staff. I think whether your health visitor did or didn't BF can have a huge influence on how your choices are accepted.

Well, am off now to the land of no broadband. I miss sloping off to bed early with my iPad and settling down with MN!

Hopefully by Monday we will be sorted.

Just ordered a few more books off eBay - from the woman who said she wouldn't buy/read any pregnancy or baby books I'm going to need another bookcase!!

After several recommendations I ordered both the mumsnet pregnancy and baby books. I also order a book on aqua yoga during pregnancy, that has lots of info on breathing techniques etc for water births and was recommended by my yoga instructor. (I also splashed out on her own book full price from amazon..) There's several second hand bookstores on eBay selling the mumsnet books for a couple of pounds each inc delivery - dodgy hips and lack of enthusiasm for traipsing around the shops won't stop me from scavenging for second hand books!!

Also, for anyone with school age kids (or any other teachers) go onto the BHF website and click schools. There are several books and resources to encourage healthy eating - was expecting a few leaflets but been sent a coffee table sized resource pack! It's free but I'm nice so donated a fiver

Lol at 'lentil weaver' YW!

Excellent news on your wee monsters pixies! I thought mine were big, but they're nowhere near that size yet, I think. Will know for certain when I have my 32 week scan next Tuesday. Really does make you feel better to know they're on the larger side, doesn't it?

I'm hoping to mix feed this time so its not all me doing it. I bf ds to 15 mo this so feel like I've done alot of it to last a lifetime.

apple you could always go and just not say what your plans are. That tip about bottles half full of cold is a good idea.

By the way,'midwife' means with the wife, so a male midwife is still a midwife. I am sure you all knew that, but the obsessive part of me just could not let it lie!

Ha! A pedant after my own heart there VQ!

I have breastfed all of my kids (at least one of them for far longer than I wanted to!). This time, however, I am thinking that I would rather like to be able to have some time off, even if it's one feed every couple of days. I intend to express, but thought it might be nice (say, if we had visitors or something) to be able to feed them with a bottle rather than whapping out the wubs, so to speak. This is particularly pertinent since DH is the first to have had any kids at all, and when his friends came to see us after our youngest was born, they'd all run to the kitchen where DH would be making teas so as to avoid being in a room with a lady who had her boobs out!

It's also a damned sight harder to feed twins when you are out and about. With my singles, I'd discretely feed on park benches or wherever and no one would be any the wiser unless they were really staring. I'm starting to think that it might well be the best of both worlds for me, but I confess to being a little worried about how they'll take to the bottle, or back to the breast, iykwim. Eyeing up the Spectra 3 breatpump on Amazon at the moment, but may have to wait until next month for that purchase since I really should organise getting some coal delivered before the prices go up on the 1st October...

I would love a man midwife! They're always portrayed on tv as so gentle and caring. But then I'm a bit weird like that...

That is to say, DH is the first of his circle of friends to have any kids!

Good point on the coal Catbag, we need some more in for the next month or so until we move, better to get it cheap (ish) now than pay winter prices.

I had a male midwife briefly just after giving birth to my youngest. He was a bit mean to DH who was half asleep and very confused...

ARGH! My fecking cat managed to slam the door behind me locking me out, I've had to walk half an hour to get the kids from school, then walk back now waiting in the garden for DP who works 2 hrs away. I could cry, the walking was agony. I'm very much done with today.

No need to pump and dump! Just make sure you do not feed baby for a couple of hours after consuming a modicum of alcohol. If totally shitfaced then I would say possibly best to, but I would hope none of us would do that, whether feeding or not.

In relation to judging, from the second we see that line, we are judged - by ourselves and others. In pregnancy for sure, but also after. Try having a toddler in a pushchair with a fruit shoot and a Greggs sausage roll, or a toddler in Burger King. And as for being a helicopter parent - you are either that, or neglectful. Or, horror of horror, a toddler with reins on ( even if you are heavily pregnant with a broken leg and clearly not up to running after the little cherub).

My MIL thinks breastfeeding is disgusting. My mum fed us to three months then weaned as that was the advice.

From a health point of view, I would encourage everyone to try to get some colostrum in the wean as they are drops of magic in my opinion. People have personal reasons for feeding or not feeding. A dear friend of mine could not feed as she was in a horrible accident that resulted in most of her breast tissue being burnt off. She was utterly devastated when the little bits of tissue she had left produced milk, but with no nipples it had nowhere to go. She has since had reconstructive surgery and has a mighty fine rack! Some people do not want to feed due to a history of abuse, some just do not like the thought. It is nobody's business why, and I hope nobody on this thread experiences judging for whatever choice they make.

I was called dairy farm to my face in public by a 'friend'.

Oh bugger tits. Cat stew for dinner?

I had a male midwife once, in the biblical sense. He was very gentle