Due in October 2012 Part 7 - towards the finish line, going for Gold!

[Planktonette]

On your marks...
Get set...

GO!

Did you get antibiotics, Livvy?

I am doing a few things on the Internet this morning (like checking out a new 'phone) and am checking back here to see if anyone is about.

CrazyP I went to hospital with same worry a few weeks back and same outcome i.ei. baby fine, but the MWs could not have been nicer or more compassionate. They told me to come back within hours if I was worried - not a problem. What a wanker (horrid word but applicable here)

In terms of comments passed I've had my share - I've told you that I have conceived now via egg donor, twice. Well, I am 5ft 8 - tall for a woman (90th percentile), and pale +++ (freckley, slight red to hair, before blonde dye). DH is 5ft 10 (about 50th percentile) and a little sallow. Well my DS is 50percentile in the growth charts and very sallow. In RL very few know DS was conceived via donor. Comments I have received;
'Are you sure you have the right baby' / 'Did the hospital give you the right baby' - I hear this regularly.
'He is so handsome. He doesn't look a bit like you'
From Irish friend with Indian BF, who is very dark - 'That's what I would expect our DS to look like'
OR
'He doesn't look a bit like you'
I just smile inwardly, my secret is safe. I laugh when I am with people who know - sometimes they can hear the comments and are but I am more used to it.

Our babies will be fabulous, whatever size/shape our bumps.

Mastitis I have had with BF - there is almost degrees of it. You can have a blocked duct, which will be sore locally but you don't have a temp. With full on mastitis I was very ill. Use warm flannels and try to manually express/ massage it out. A bra or something might have caught you. Some people are prone to blocked ducts and have to do this regularly. MW know loads about this.
I had redness over the duct, coming out in a v shape from the nipple and the whole area was SOOO tender - like a boil (I have never actually had one but what I think a boil would be like). Cool cabbage leaves are recommended if the area is hot.

LondonMrs Yes, they did give me antibiotics. I felt wiped out and slept for about 3 days. (this is a slight exaggeration but I did feel v.tired and feverish and pathetic and sore). Not sure how much of that was due to body fighting infection and how much was a reaction to the antibiotics.

The warm flannels & massaging tips from Lisbeth seem worth a try - if it is a blocked duct then you may be able to solve the problem by tomorrow.

LondonMrs It seems a bit urgent to wait a day to see Dr. I got very ill very fast - maybe because I was producing milk into a blocked gland. Could you see the practice nurse or ring your mat unit?

lisbeth I've been having weird dreams too! Last night I (seriously) dreamed I was practicing how to breastfeed by feeding my cats (ie they were suckling). Both of them. One on each boob. Eww.

beeble - put your hands under the running cold tap for a few minutes to help shrink your hands!! I've had my rings off for about 6 weeks. My fingers have swollen so much I can actually comfortably wear DH's wedding band now

Phew! After a big glass of water, and propping my arm elebated for my last 2 hours of sleep, I managed t work my ring off n the shower with lots of shampoo. . guess it.s time to ut that away in a drawer now. takes out larger costume ring and slips on finger easily

Hey chucks

Sounds like there's lots of stress at the moment for most people :(

By the way, I started a thread for the "last two weeks of pregnancy" so I can ramble more about wanting baby out/braxtonhicks etc - feel slightly like I'm an unfaithful wife cheating on this thread - still angelico has her GD thread doesn't she - anyway please feel free to ramble there too, those of you near the end!

Angelico you are my role model you know... you always sound so relaxed and sensible! Glad you're enjoying your last 8 days (eep!) So jealous of you living in the beach, I love where I live, but I could add a seaside to it quite happily. How did your nursing hunt go? I ordered the bravado ones that everyone seems to love, but the large was too big and the medium too small and by that point I was too pissed off at wasting money on postage returns and gave up. I found something that seems good in M&S, but I don't know how it will work when milk comes in! I've bought one cup size up, that's what the lady recommended. Could be a bit of trial and error here... am hoping to buy another one when I know what size I'll be.
ps. I don't like sweet stuff much, but OH MY GOD! CHEESE AND FISH ARE MY FAVOURITE THINGS EVER! (not together) We could never be friends! (Or perhaps we could be friends and you could eat my sweet things and I could eat your cheese )

Elpis your ballet story just makes me even more scared that I might have a girl! I have no idea what to do with a girl!! Oh well, we'll just play dinosaurs together Awful they left your daughter alone though... not impressed.

hufflepuffle I have ironed baby clothes to fold and put on the shelves... I am absolutely 100% sure that will be the last time I ever iron them, haha.

Beccus I am also glad I did not have baby in the woods... my mates were suggesting names for if this happened (Ash, Rowan, and of course, Woody).
Im with you on the afternoon naps.
And good luck for last 2 weeks at work, v impressed.

Ah WantanOrange I didn't remember you came so early last time. No wonder you've always been so chilled and sane, you never had to do the rubbish last month of pregnancy
I'm sorry you're feeling so crap, maybe the shock of thinking baby was coming, and then it stopping? Or god knows we all have enough reasons to feel a bit crap! Hope you're managing sports day.

smileyhappymummy I was also lumbering around the food fair at the weekend. I'm glad you're enjoying the end of your time with just DD! As ever very impressed you working so late doing what you do, but do go carefully and re-assess if you need to hey...

Horrible dream lisbethsopposite - I had a lot of horrible pregnancy-related dreams early on but very very few now. (I don't think I'm getting to sleep long enough to have dreams! :() Uh-oh on the preg-rage, don't shout at us!

Beeblebear oh no!!! can only repeat advice of water, soap, vaseline!!

Cwest glad you are feeling more positive and hopefully will be even more so after your appointment tomorrow. As for how I'm feeling - well it's not 8 days for me, it's 0-22 days, which is hard to maintain any one feeling for! I'm all over the place... happy, relaxed, calm, then TEARS, WORRIED, "maybe I'll NEVER go into labour", etc...!

crazypaving god, you poor thing. What a night. What a shit midwife! There's just no need to be like that. Very relieved all is ok, but - ugh. I've had two or three I think episodes where I was worried about babs moving, but it always started again just before I rang anyone. Can't believe she made you self-discharge, that's just really poor. And the home birth comment - totally uncalled for, I mean it's bloody NICE guidance. (They are very pro-home births around here and women who've had straightforward first labours get encouraged quite strongly to have them... they've been very keen with me too, even though it's my first...)

Londonmrs - ouch, that does sound like a blocked duct. With a temp it might be mastitis. No way you can get to the doctors today? Or at least call your midwife...

Phew, I think I've caught up. Sorry for length as always!! Love to all!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE for the sympathy last week - work are twats. Fact.

squidkid you mentioned your TENS machine, any recommendations? Anyone else found/bought a really good one? I?m a bit worried about buying one (I know I can also hire one out) as I?m such a hot, swetay person these days - what if the pads don?t stick??!!

Planktonette LOL at being ?peppy again?, I?ve also had the same thoughts!!

Many congrats to Cwest, we look forward to hearing your story!!

Yomping It seems so undignified (that is probably a really stupid thing to say!). She said that when it comes to it, we wouldn't care, and that might well be true, but I get awkward around other people and so I might not care then but I care NOW, about the prospect of looking shite and making stupid noises and hanging around with my thighs and arse and pubes and bits on view for all to see. And it really bothers me
Absolutely understand where you?re coming from! I scared myself shitless this morning by watching labour/childbirth videos via babycentre website. I thought I was feeling quite mentally prepared before this point having read loads of childbirth stories but it turns out I?m not?after all Oh dear?

And yes, WTF is it with pregnancy and people being personal??!! A few people have said that I look big so I respond with a snarky ?actually I?m about average?, unspoken words were so fuck off

Beeble I have to confess I took my rings off a few weeks ago due to being scared about having to go to hospital to get them removed!!

I?m still undecided about home/hospital birth and have a visit to the local maternity unit tomorrow - any thoughts on good questions to ask?!

How are people finding their perineal massage, those who are doing it? Any tips for optimal positions?? I need to start that this week but am just too exhausted in general to do anythign, leats of all when I?ve had a full day at work

35, 34+1, dc#1?just 3 weeks of work left!

My news, super-brief

• no more pains/tightenings, meh
• birthing pool ready to pick up tonight, yay
• ate the best mushrooms ever for lunch
• I am/my bump is shrinking, hope this isn't a concern! I seriously look a month or two less pregnant! LOOK

is this just baby moving down? I bloody hope so!

39 weeks tomorrow...

Missed you loopyla - well I have a TENS machine, but I can't really recommend it as I haven't used it yet! I hired one from ebay it cost £23 and they send it to you 3 weeks before due date and you send it back 7 weeks later. Postage all paid and it seems well organised. You don't send back the pads, you throw them away.

link

I've missed more people whilst writing my endless posts. I give up!

Thanks for the advice re. sore boob everyone. My doctor is typical for a busy part of London- you have to plan your illnesses several weeks in advance or you can't get an appointment and have to wait at a walk in centre for hours. Literally don't have time- it's my last week at work this week so I'm handing over all week.

I did get an appointment for tomorrow though. I have literally no other symptoms- no temp, no illness, my boob isn't even hot / inflamed at all- just painful. So prob just a blocked duct. Reckon it can wait til tomorrow!

Loopy re. maternity unit- is that a stand alone birth centre or a hospital based place?

I've tried perineal massage, but it's bloody difficult. I did manage to self-froom my ladyparts this week (for the first time in months- it was an absolute jungle). It took several carefully placed mirrors and lots of grunting and groaning but I'm pleased to say I succeeded without needing any blood transfusions.

Squid you look lovely in your photo as usual. Must be just dropping further- can't imagine that baby is shrinking!

Quick check-in -

For everyone with shrinking bump worries:

My bump shrank (36 cm to 33 cm in two weeks), so the midwife sent me for a scan. She said it was probably because the head had engaged, but local protocol is that if it shrinks, you get a scan.

Turns out, the head had engaged.

So, if your bump has shrunk, it's probably because the head has engaged.

(another tipoff that the head is engaged: getting whacked in the cervix! Honestly, it feels like a pap smear BUT FROM THE WRONG SIDE. Freaky.)

oh, also -

AAAAAAAAAARGH ACTUAL PARENTHOOD AAAAAAAAAAARGH

Pant pant pant

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH

Crazy, that is how she treated you, and very definitely complaining territory. Totally unprofessional. Sorry you had such a shit evening/night but glad all is OK.

I'm actually really enjoying the NCT classes, think my teacher just has a bit of a "no holds barred" approach, but that suits me better than airy fairy approach. I'd rather know what is involved in C-section then not need one than other way round.

Thank you all for the support re in-laws, you're all so lovely. Found out when DH got home that his mum had actually said to him about homebirth that we need to stop being so selfish and think about what's best for the baby not just what we want. Am actually speechless about this . Really don't know how to react. Feel so, so bad that she thinks we are not putting baby first, want to go over and ram bloody research down her throat to make her realise that homebirth is as safe as hospital, and that calm mum = peaceful cam birth = happy baby, and that we wouldn't have anything at birthing centre that we wouldn't have at home, and it will be midwives with same training only we will have 2 of them to ourselves. But fuck her, really. This is someone who thinks it's perfectly OK to smoke around her unborn grandchild and will probably smoke around him/her if babysitting (not that we will be taking that option) so I probably can't expect her to see sense. But still. (apologies to any smokers on our thread, it's more that she tells us we are being selfish while having blown smoke towards 32-weeks-pregnant-me a few weeks ago). DH and I both feel really, really sad and angry about this but at least we have some very definite "ways not to be" when we are parents! That's the silver lining Lisbeth, and I know we'll be OK - and you're right about the M&S thing, let it go.

I feel sick today, could that be early labour or am I just ill? Lol, am twitchy at every physical sign, can't imagine what people nearer 40 weeks must be feeling like!

Have to run, got chiropractor appointment, thank goodness, feel like entire body needs to be crunched and reset. Love to all, to those suffering from tiredness/pains/uncomfortably positioned babies/bra confusion/bad dreams/stuck wedding rings (butter on finger good, apparently).

Dammit, posted after reading to bottom of page 22 and there is a whole other page to catch up on, will have to do that tomorrow! Hope I didn't miss anything major!

squidkid You are such an inspiration during pregnancy!

OK. Got DD to preschool early and she had a successful three hours. Didn't feel she was quite ready for me to leave her but will try tomorrow - I have some acupuncture booked on Thu and would really like to be able to leave her by then. Staff all very good and feel lucky to have found such a caring place. Home for lunch, worked on the new nursery and got almost everything into place. Absolutely bloody exhausted. Thank God DD wanted to nap too. Now in woods for some playground time. Ache ache ache.

Tomorrow I have a midwife appointment at 4.30. I really don't know why as I have a pre-op assessment on Fri and saw midwives last Weds. When I said this to MW she said: 'Well, you can always cancel it.' Can I? Really not keen on two tube journeys, one in rush hour, with DD on top of preschool commute when I am so big. Have diligently taken my iron every night.

We are laying mousetraps tonight... Can confirm there is no food under our bed. What are the buggers after?

Afternoon all,

Blimey we all talk a lot, I am going to have a valiant attempt at catching up properly. takes a huge deep breath and plunges in

LondonMrs Sorry about the boob - please make sure you get seen soon. A blocked duct can soon turn into Satan's work - mastitis is the single worse thing I have every had - you can go from sore boob to bedridden very quickly so make sure you do all the massaging you can or express if possible. I found the only relief was to feed - obviously without the baby this is tricky. even with the baby it was tricky

Loopy & Yomping and anyone else worried about the indignities of labour - I cannot tell a lie it is an undignified process but the magic baby making spell that is cast on us makes us all care a bit less when it comes to the main event. This is the same baby making spell that makes second timers do it all again, forget almost instantly the bad bits and focus on the good bits. It sure as hell must be witchcraft but somehow it sees us all through. I feel the same when I watch other people doing it but when it was me I couldn't have given a monkeys. except the 3 student Drs I pretty much told to piss off and stare at someone elses fanjo

Squid sure it is just the baby engaging - mine is already nearly all the way there (2/5ths) and you are a month ahead of me so yours must be nicely nestled by now. I can't walk for longer than about 30 minutes without needing a pee - so irritating. Although I am not waddling just yet I think I will be if he drops anymore. I think you are right about nature telling me to take it easier. I have listened to her and making an effort to cut back on work hours amongst other things. Saying that I am off to pilates in a moment but I am a firm believer exercise is the best medicine even when the size of a small village.

Beeble I am still managing to keep my rings on this time but had the same panic you describe with DC1. Glad you managed to get it off in the end. I didn't bother offering advice as I couldn't remember how I got them off - maybe hand cold with ice and covered it in butter. And panicking a lot.

Zara Eww. Just Ewww. That is all.

Lisbeth some of those things made me go . I do think some people really don't mean to offend when they talk about the size of us pregnant ladies - and I honestly don't mind it myself but asking if you are sure your DC is yours? That is rude no matter which way you cut it . And can I have some of your energy?

Crazy sorry you had such a shit experience - love to say it doesn't happen often but it sure as hell does at my hospital. I have a couple of pretty similar stories myself already and it fills me with dread that I have to give birth there. Hold on tight to that homebirth - I am going to have one last chance to talk my consultant into it but I can hear the no echoing in my ears again before the question is even out. It is so important to be relaxed wherever you choose to give birth and I for one find hospital far from relaxing especially with those with no bedside manner such as the m/w you described

Cwest 1 week. Blimey. 1 week. That is all.

Angelico Hope you get to the bottom of your weight loss conundrum - not a conundrum I have although the gain has slowed down - not the growth in the beast baby though - that seems to be full steam ahead. It is a he, I found out by accident and he is very much a he. Once you see that willy flapping around in the amniotic fluid there is no mistaking it. .

Cherry Hope you enjoyed your weekend of beaches and loveliness. Was it you who asked why I thought mine would be early? Well I am going to tell you even if it wasn't. Basically I had PET last time so getting to 37 weeks was a major achievement. Have always been convinced that I wouldn't make it to term this time - which to be honest I haven't worried about as long as he is cooked enough to be ok. As some of you are discovering now - the last stretch is a bit shit. However, this pregnancy is a million miles away from my last and although I keep having plenty of signs of premature labour I now am thinking that my early thoughts are wishful thinking and these signs are just teasers. I may be waddling with the best of them come 40 weeks.

Right - I really wanted to catch up with you all properly but DD is screaming the house down. Over tired and no TV privileges makes a very cross 4 year old. I am guessing at least 5 people have cross posted since I started this. Will try and get back later.

Ok so it was 4 new posts - that is how slow I am...

Thanks for all your great freezer food tips! And nappy bag suggestions - although i still cant decide. I now have a delicious Tunision lamb with Aubergine casserole in the freezer and am about to cook up a boeuf bourgignonne and freeze some veggies for emergencies (great tip crazy) beccus I'm pretty sure cod freezes just fine.

This morning I went to the only mum and baby group I've found out here and it was great to meet other English speaking mums and chat about the system out here and what to expect. However they seem to fall into 2 camps - either 'epidural is great, just take it and don't feel bad' or 'make sure your dh is prepared to argue with the midwives/doctors if they try and force you into anything'. This last one was from someone who gave birth at 'my' clinic 2 years ago and the mw tried constantly to persuade her to have the epidural as 'I don't think you'll be able to cope with the pain'.

However there was a nice British midwife there who might be able to give dh and I a lesson privately in the next couple of weeks. She did sound surprised that the clinic did water births - she said she only ever heard of them being used for pain relief in early stages then they whip you out and it's epidural legs akimbo time

Really feeling for all of you re bump comments though. All the British people I know comment, the French and Germans never do though. It's only ever 'when's it for? do you know if it's a boy or girl? where are you giving birth?'

simonthedog Congratulations! OMG you were due on my due date. Gulp.
yomping that is a really unfair thing for your in laws to say. At least you can just put it down to their ignorance about latest research, whereas it's pretty hard to ignore the advice about smoking. I literally cannot avoid it out here - everyone smokes around me, which I sometimes find hard as a former smoker who tried really hard to give up and has been off them for 8 years now.
wantanorange i was with you on the foul mood thing yesterday, I had a toddler style meltdown because I couldn't find minced lamb at the market to make this dish for friends who were coming over. Then I had a nap and everything seemed much better.

Lisbeth elpis crazy londonmrss and anyone else still working- lots of hugs for the crazy dreams, lack of sleep, reflux, horrid midwives and blocked milk ducts, ouch.

Very much at Planktonette - I feel the same! Some days it makes me feel all warm and smiley but most of the time the thought just scares me shitless!! (pardon my french!)

Beeble - glad you got your ring(s) off. Had a point about 6 weeks ago when I struggled with mine so took them off for about a week. Fingers then seemed to shrink again so put them back on. Have had a couple of heartstopping moments when I've struggled to get them off again so wondering if I should just take them off.

Phoned the pregnancy assessment unit at my hosp today about slapped cheek and was told that although risk was minimal it was probably best to get bloods done to check. Popped into my GPs on the way home, GP was triaging and saw me after about 5 mins (timed that well!), agreed with PAU but has written me up for some bloods. Get them done on Wednesday afternoon (and scan Wed AM) so going to feel well poked and prodded! Now worried that headache last week (that is still lingering) and the development of a sore throat this afternoon are related, but in all honesty if I do have it, it's a virus so there's not much anyone can do. Am pretty certain that at 34wks it will do very little as he is growing rather than developing IYSWIM.

The bean has been slightly less uncomfortable today but I'm going to try some more "all fours" positions this evening to try and convince him not to get too comfortable around my rib cage!

32, 34+1, #1

Crazy That must have been a horrible experience, fingers crossed you get to have your baby at home.

I had my pre-home birth appointment today. Midwife was very impressed with DH's tea making and providing of biscuits. Baby has grown another cm, and heartbeat was fine. Was a bit worried because she has hardly moved all day.

My mood swings are awful . I don't want to think it's a sign because I'll be waiting on edge but I don't want another 3+ weeks of this either!

Starting to feel completely ovewhelmed, just want to hide at home tomorrow. SPD is bad today just to top it of. Now I feel guilty for sulking because it's actually been a good day! DS had sports day and did great and DH has been really helpful. We cleared out our DVDs and traded them in and made £45!

Haha! Yomping I've just done the same thing! Read the whole page WantAnOrange!

Gosh, but there really is some nattering goes on here!!!!!!! Hav had a read but sorry, no energy to reply!! At work today thus knacked but off tmrw so chance to recover! Tho hav to do 3 wee things for work..... Will I ever escape??!

Also hav physio apt to see if can do owt for this pelvic pain crap, is wearing me out!!

And also hope to hav a perfect combo of doing nothing as well as being highly productive.........!

Bit like huffle have read everyone's news but too shattered to reply, though honestly am thinking of you all.
Utterly knackering day at work, ended up with 7 minutes between end of morning surgery and start of afternoon surgery... So not much time for lunch! Have come home and gone splat, dh been lovely and supplied dinner, now getting me a bowl of Haagen Dazs ice cream. Just need to unwind a bit before bed or really won't be able to sleep!