Due in October 2012 Part 6 - Third Trimester Trials and Tribulations

[YompingJo]

Shiny new thread!

Ready?
Steady?
Go!

Hello!!! We have stairs!!!!! Yay!!!! Big turn around for renovations now!!! Now all we need is plaster finished, floors down, electrics finished, house painted, bathrooms tiled and fitted, gas installed, kitchen fitted and outside made presentable.............. Moving pre baby???? Well, let's just see shall we...... Thought we might have won one of those euromillions millions last night and said feck it all, but alas no!

Yomping poor you. Not having a good week. I have decided in last few years that friendship changes are partof life, no matter what age we are and usually they are one sided. Nothing personal to either party, people just change. My best friend since age 12 has not called me once to see hiw pregnancy going and really things had faded lots before that, but it hurts. I am of the opinion that with a baby, life will change lots anyhow and new friends will be made in new places for both me and DH. Some girls i thought i vaguely knew have been great in pregnancy and given so much support. It is weird but lovely!!! I am sure you have done nowt to annoy her and life just changing. And as someone said, nobody like a bride to do weird things, she may even hav thought a 7 month preggers gal would not want to go to wedding!!!!!! Get your beautiful dress on, get a good dose of make up on and no matter how you think you look, everyone will notice how beautiful and glowing you are!!!! We are not so far yet to look like whales, honestly!!!! Everyone will find you gorgeous, promise! Xxxx

Beeble glad to hear about the yoga! My class has been off for 5 weeks, CRAP. Did not think it was doing much in earlier stages but bipoy, could I do with it now!!! Looking forward to helping the hip and pelvic pain and generally stopping me becoming the lumbering hippo I am turning in to..... DH actually called me a hippo the other morning!!! Thought was being cute!!! Had a towel under bump in bed to try and prop it up which pushed me over too far all night. Apparently i slept soundly and he didnt!!! HA! Beats me listening to the snoring!!!!!

Also as for that mad pregnant work colleague doing all that exercise..... Well that is all I can say. She is mad. And we are all perfectly beautifully sane.

Angelico ooooh on the 4D scan!!!! To be truly honest we simply cannot afford it but am also more than bit freaked out by!!!!! We did not want to know which flavour bean is too so thought might be a giveaway!!!! But actually would still love to have one!!!!! Hope you are enjoyying it and we look forward to hearing about!!!

Mickey hope you enjoying Olympics!!!! Exhausting, I am sure, but you will be glad in the long run that you went!!

Bella so glad you ate half pack biccies, obviously you needed them! Going out tonight for dinner for SIL bday but would much prefer to eat half pack of biccies or chocolate evey half hour, plenty of room in tummy for those!!!!! Chinese food on other hand......hmmmmmm, will I sleep at all tonight?!

Squid i think it will likely take you a day or 2 to come down chicken. You have been living on your limits for weeks and the relief will take many forms!! Your wee body is exhausted and we do not live in a fairytale world where your last day woukd have been full of smiles, good wishes and pats on the back!!! Well done for getting this far while working so very very hard. Now you can put all your good energy in to preparing for baby squid!!! Relax relax relax. Oh i wish i was nearer to that stage......!!! Congratulations on finishing, big hug and pat on back from moi!!!

Sorry, that is as far as I can manage to scroll up and down and read and reply in one session!!!!!! Thinking of all of you with pains/sleep deprivation/lovely but tiring other DCs/nobber DHs and DPs and families/moving problems/finding new home problems/hormonal meltdowns/heat meltdowns/london madness meltdowns/ ..............

So glad to have this little escape and read all your posts to keep me sane

From me and sweet baby hufflepuffle!! Lol Planktonette !!!!

Gawd, that post actually took me an HOUR!!! Must go have shower and waken self up!!

Squid I think you sound amazing to keep going when faced with a patient going through that and I'm sure she very much appreciates you taking care of her.

Yomping Your attitude towards parties sounds like mine. I'm feeling really guilty today because we are supposed to be going to a friends birthday party tonight. He's really excited but I'd completely forgot and planned an evening in with DH (DS has gone to his Auntie's for the night). I'm exhausted and DH says we are staying at home and I'm being looked after (I do love him) but now I feel like DH is missing out on the party and our friend will be dissapointed that we are not there.

I am feeling very grateful for DH at the moment. A friend of mine is going through a horrible time. Her DH is very ill and it's sounding like he only has a couple of weeks left. He's 28 years old . I haven't heard from her for a long time and I'm worried. I have no idea what to say to her and know I nothing will make it better. They live to far away so I can't even do practical things like taking care of the kids.

And just for that bit extra guilt, I forgot my Dad's birthday yesturday!

I forgot to mention. Remember a little way back we were talking about sensory play and ideas for babies? I found a nice list of sensory experiences for babies. Hope the link works:

Link

Thanks everyone for your sympathy on my temporary homeless situation. The latest in the drama is that the local council won't let us close the road so a removal van can park there as there are too many other roadworks in the area at the moment. It's a tiny medieval road and there is nowhere else to park the removal van nearby and none of the removal companies dare incur the wrath of the local Mairie so it looks like we'll have to do the move ourselves with a hire van. Ummmm, lifting furniture down three flights of stairs at 6 months pregnant?!

WantAnOrange That's a great site - thanks for the link! Lots of cool ideas. I really like the idea of babies playing with 'household' objects like sponges and hair rollers!

hufflepuffle Yay for stairs!! Wowzers that sounds like a lot of work your having done. And a lot of stress. Well done for appearing to stay so sane - I think it would have sent me around the bend.

squid hope you're starting to feel a bit better about things. I agree with the others - it might take a few days to relax. If you wanted any reassurance you have done the right thing then there's an article by Anushka Asthana in The Times today based on a RCOG study about it being good to start maternity leave before 8 months pregnant.

Beeblebear Yomping bella My favourite phrase right now when eating anything 'naughty': "It's for the baby"

Yomping I feel for you, I really do. I had a similar experience a few weeks ago when I went on that hen weekend remember? The one full of glamourous, thin, successful girls? The bride was a schoolfriend I have been growing apart from over the years. But I went along and it was really great, so much fun. And although I realise my friend and I have grown apart, I could be happy for the good times we had when we were teenagers. Put a brave face on, and your gorgeous dress, and go and have a fun evening with your DH. It will mean a lot to her - otherwise she wouldn't have invited you at all (and weddings do make some people go a bit crazy, but often it is just a question of money and having a large family to accommodate).

Poor squid. Sounds like you've got a cross between a holiday cold and the bends - but in your brain. Give it a couple of days, it will pass.

Any nice parks near your house? Nature helps me. All those infinitely complex interlinked organic systems, doing what they do, and not a single one of them needs anything from you whatsoever. It's soothing.

Stayed up for the opening ceremony, am now shattered. Yaaaaay.

Yomping I cried when I read your post on Thursday. I was in bed on my phone and I could so relate, but I couldn't reply. I might not look different to people but as I have walked or swam very little in the last few weeks, I feel the tone on my arms and legs completely different. If we weren't actually having babies I think we'd qualify for that programme 'Embarrassing Illnesses/Bodies'. I had worn a maxi-dress one day this week and a neighbour commented that I looked so lovely and feminine. I feel like a female Homer Simpson, or at least I did on Thursday. Like you I am better now.

LondonMrs It sounds like you have dealt with this situation (which was awful ). In my early pregnancy I was in twice in the EPU (Early Preg. Unit) with worries. Once I decided I wasn't sick enough so I tested with a cheap pregnancy kit and got a barely visible line. The second time I had a bleed. This unit is very high-tech, appointment only blah, blah. Both times they saw me at short notice and were wonderfully reassuring. The MW reassured me that she herself worried throughout her own pregnancies and not to feel guilty about it that it was a worrying time.
In your case MW#2 is saying something very different from MW#1 - Isn't she saying that if the movement remained erratic, further investigation is called for. MW #1 is saying that your complaint that the movement is erratic is a nuisance to her . Makes me wonder, what are her indicators to refer for a C section - labour looks like could interfere with my tea break.
Perhaps have some defenses ready in case you do cross paths again - like if she says something you find , say, 'sorry, could you repeat that, I'm not sure I understood you'. You would have time to gather your thoughts and she couldn't hide behind the 'I meant something else' defense, if she did repeat it.
Well well done for getting her name.

Angelico You have a nice friend who listened to your troubles.

1. I am pregnant
2. Renovations are a drag
3. Book completion was a big/exhausting job.

I'd have killed you. Problem #1 is the DREAM of many women. #2 You have the wherewithal to renovate your house, and will bring baby to a lovely home. #3 Completed book. Then again my emotions feel like a black bubbling churn of dark mood and tearfulness lately. You must be a nice person in RL to have a friend who let you vocalise. My DH says he is moving out if I go back to work.

Crazypaving 'Bagsied' the big bed, what age are they??? Teenagers FFS. I wont start but please let us know how weekend went.

Yomping You will be reading this post-wedding but FWIW
I've heard this saying (I think Native American) that our personality is like 2 dogs fighting within. The one that wins is the one we feed. When I was younger I tended to put a dark side on things - 'this person is not sitting with me because they like that person better, and I'll never be popular blah blah'. As I have gotten older, I consciously try to feed the bright dog. I don't need to 'be popular', I don't need lots of friends. I need a few dear friends.
You will pull yourself down if you feed the dark dog.
It sounds like most of your colleagues are invited to the Afters so you are not alone. The bride has her reasons, that are not particular to you as to why she has not invited her colleagues. Perhaps it is money, perhaps her chosen venue could only accommodate a certain (small) number, perhaps her new husband really wanted a small wedding and she took his wishes on board. Do not take it personally. She wants her colleagues to share her day and I think you are wishing her well by going - you are doing a nice thing.
On the bright side;
You get to wear your new dress.
You get to show off DH looking well
You get to buy a less expensive present
I want to give you a virtual hug because you take on SO much hurt.

Before I go I want to share another positive baby story. At my local shopping centre there is a water feature/fountain thing that many people have thrown coins into. I was there the other day with my mother and DS and DS was afraid of the water and would not go too near. Anyway yesterday he was leaning in over the side, little bum in the air, feet off the ground, and he fished out a coin. I told him to throw it back in and he did but a moment later was leaning in again reaching for another coin. I had to catch his ankle or he would have fallen in!! He was so cute, bum and feet in the air trying to collect a penny - so toddlers in 1 day go from afraid of fountain to trying to climb in . Keep you busy, in the best possible way.

Today is my 4th day off work and the first one I have not been ill or had to go to bed yippee. I think I might be turning into a human again.

yomping how was the wedding? So hope you enjoyed it! Didn't scroll up and read your post yesterday when I selfishly loggged on to moan about my over-consumption of biscuits! I can totally
understand why you felt like that, but hope you were able to feel good in your beautiful dress and enjoy the night with your hubs.

smorgs that is rubbish about the moving van. How unfair! You need to rope in loads of friends to help. I moved at this point last pregnancy and we just had our own van. It was very difficult because I wanted to lift/move stuff and often thought 'It will be quicker/more efficient if I do this myself but was either stopped by dh or stopped myself remembering we are not supposed to be lifting stuff. We did get through it and I made myself v. Useful making coffees and sarnies and then doing all the cleaning at either end. You will get through it and it will be so worth it in the end to be in the baby's new home!

orange so sorry about your friend. How dreadfully sad. Glad your DH is being understanding. Don't feel bad about the party-these things happen. I have a friend whose baby died and naturally that has affected me enormously this pregnancy. It makes you question everything doesn't it? Hope you are ok x

squid rest rest rest and recover from your last marathon week at work. If you ever wanted re-assurance that you are finishing work at the right time, surely this exhaustion is it. Stop being so hard on yourself and revel in the thought that you have a good long holiday to chill out and see friends before you start your next job looking after baby squid!

Hurrah for your stairs Huffle! Glad you are getting there. I am stressed out just trying to sort out our one messy/dumping ground room into a nursery as there is stuff everywhere so I can't imagine how hard it would be to live with major house renovations. So angelico I think your three worries justify a rant of 15 minutes or more! Number 1 on your list has generated enough worries for 6 threads on here so that added to anything else is bound to make you stressed!

Loved the fountain story Lisbeth. That is just what I mean about the joy in watching them grow and learn. How lovely that he went from being scared, to intrigued, to having no fear and wanting to jump right in. Gorgeous!

My brilliant brother sent my ds a BUZZ LIGHTYEAR QUILT SET in the post and it arrived yesterday. I had to capitalise that in order to convey the sheer excitement of such a thing. Oh my gosh, I had the happiest boy on the planet! The sight of him sleeping last night with his toy buzz and toy woody in his hands, clutched tightly and sleeping soundly was just so gorgeous! I am absolutely loving having this last little time with him to enjoy him on his own. We had a great week of adventures and have lots planned for next week too (although MIL and SIL are visiting too-eek!) i am slightly worried that him having Mummy all to himself for 6 weeks then me back to work for 5 then the baby arriving is going to rock his little worls, but there is not a lot I can do about it!

happy sunday y'all

bella 28+3 (bonjour 3rd trimester!) dc2 EDD 18th October

Squid CONGRATULATIONS on finishing work. That sounds like a horrendous last day, but you did your best and by the sounds of it saved that girl's life. Good for you!!! Go chill out for a few days, you superwoman you. Then go and do all the nice things you wanted to do- plenty of time yet!!

Yomping I hope you feel better and I really hope you went to the wedding and had a good time last night. I felt the exact same as you in the start of my second trimester, I am usually very small and slim and had a complete breakdown because I was struggling so much with my image. I am learning to embrace it now, and make the most of looking fat and invalidated because some people are wonderful to you in public! You get seats everywhere and everyone gives you a knowing smile when you walk around rubbing your bump. It won't be here for long and lets face it, Pregnant Women Are Beautiful. But do not feel that you are the only one that feels like this- every pregnant woman feels like it at some point.
FWIW I also had a friend that drew away from me last year.. She has since sent me a message why and has told me I am a complete idiot for having a baby with my DP (she doesn't like him and our situation, he is a few years older than me) and on one hand I was so devastated. I have lost a very good friend and all those fun, funny, lovely memories from when we were smaller are tarnished with her.. betrayal I think I would call it. But then on the other hand I have to think, do I really want someone like that in my childs life? When I look back I was always the one sorting her messes out and picking up the pieces and she never supported me when I needed her too. I don't think I would be happy with my child having a friend like that.
It also stands shining clear to me who my real friends are- the ones that I don't see paticularly often because of uni/work/social lives, my really old school friends that when I told I was pregnant, literally jumped for joy, and are helping me out and supporting me as much as they can.

I think the conclusion of that little anecdote is that some people will draw away, and it really really does hurt, but sometimes I think you have to let them go, and make more room for your real friends who will want to spoil you and your child rotten, and will be there for you whenever you need them. I hope that makes things a little better for those going through the same problem- tell me to shut up rambling!!!!!

In other news, the basketball at the olympics yesterday was a complete disaster. I was up at 4,30, on the train at 05.47am and travelling to Stratford, and my best friend didn't turn up. She had my event ticket (so consequently also had to buy a new travelcard because I couldn't use mine without the ticket) so I had no choice but to go as far as I could without it and just hoped that she got there. We were supposed to be in the arena by 7.45- I waited until 10am. I was so angry and hurt and upset and worried and also in so much pain from all the walking that I did. Her mum finally rang me at 10.30 (as I was walking back to the station to go home) to explain what had happened and I felt awful for being so hacked off!! She has been doing her survival training for the RAF this week and did not finish until midnight on Friday morning, and didn't get home until 3pm in the afternoon- her phone broke and she simply overslept, and boy was she devastated.
I rang her on the number her mum gave me and she cried her eyes out, and feels terrible that she sent her hugely pregnant friend into london by herself so early in the morning. I told her not to worry and that I was fine (which was a lie as I was in complete agony, but she sounded so desperately sorry I didn't have the heart to tell her!)
So I left London and went home. Didn't see the basketball and lost out on about 65pounds. AIBU asking for the ticket money back? I don't know if thats being cheeky because its not like she did it on purpose... and I wouldn't know how to ask. She's my oldest friend and I love her to bits. And she's a poor student. Oh help :(
The SPD has well and truly arrived because OMG I could not move yesterday. I came home and laid flat in bed- Poor DP has beeen working so hard to get my birthday party ready for me today (whilst suffering with aforementioned back problems himself) and I'm not even sure how long I will last on my feet/sitting on uncomfortable benches. Maybe I will take a picnic blanket with me and lay on that instead. Its 8am, the party starts in a few hours, I have no idea what to wear, the food will be late because the hog roast man had an issue with the butcher, and I'm still in agony.

Shut up Michaela, the weathers fab and you will have a great day!!!!

Hope you are all OK. I love this thread for all the rambling support we give each other. Love you ladies!!!

Bella,
I am chomping into rocky road bites as we speak.

The baby needs it ;)

Hooray- friends is on and I can watch it because DP is not here to moan at me hehehehehe!!!!!!

JANNNNNICEEEE, JAAAAAAAANNNICEEEEEEE, JAAAAAANIIICEEEEE!!!

Anyone know anything specifically bad about Quinny travel systems? I may have sourced a cheap one on gumtree... Will probably buy if there's not a good reason not to :)

Pahahaha!!

No idea Planktonette. Whenever I see them they always look quite small and compact and everyone seems to have them! x

Hi lizbethopposite.

Every woman on this board is thrilled to be pregnant. Every woman is finding it hard as well. And every woman on this board is doing her very best to manage a complex life full of responsibilities, and that's hard too.

When you attack angelico for not being glad enough about her circumstances, you attack all of us.

Maybe you could consider dialling it back a little?

Mickey that thread is hilarious!!!!! Tummy hurts laughing, wonder what baby thinks of that?!

Never heard any complaints about Quinnys and there are certainly loads about. We never tried as didn't want 3 wheel type but they sure are popular!

Still lying in bed catching up , wonder what can eat for breakfast ...... Pah to cereal ....... any cake or buns out there???? Rocky road bites mentioned ....... M&S ones? Think I have too.....! My poor back, must get UP!

My name is YompingJo and I am an idiot.

I am so sorry about putting up 2 ranting/self pitying posts in 3 days, and so thankful for all the support you have given me, and all the good advice. Never mind The Mumsnet Rules, we should collect the advice from these six threads alone and publish it as the "Due in October 2012 rules"!

So, I managed to paint my toenails (being freakishly flexible turns out to have a new, previously unappreciated advantage!), and managed not to smudge them, possibly a world first for me. Did makeup, found jewellery, DH did not faff once about his clothes and looked effortlessly gorgeous AND told me I looked lovely the instant he got home from work, thus earning himself a bonus shag this week millions of brownie points. Friend looked totally gorgeous, she was so bouncy and excited and squeaky, it was lovely. Place was also gorgeous and after a good look around the guests I worked out, to my complete and utter shame, that me and one other person who had also come to the evening bit were the only people she had invited from work. The only people, I'm going to say that again just to give myself a metaphorical kick up the arse (or bump slap!). Far from not wanting us there, and drawing away, she actually only invited 2 of us at all, from 35 colleagues. My emotions upon realising this went in this order: . Then she came over and hugged me and told me how amazing she thinks I am and how much I have helped her (I was pretty much her mentor when she started teaching 3 years ago, then I was her boss for a year before she moved to a different yeargroup) and how glad she was that we had come. I was so stunned and surprised, I didn't even burst into tears, which might be another first, particularly in this pregnancy!

We danced, the baby danced kicked (need to have words with it about keeping to the beat though ), there was nearly a 4 Weddings moment when I chatted to one of friend's friends I met once a couple of years ago who was (back then) having issues with her boyfriend, I asked her how it had turned out and I so nearly said "did you split up with that idiot who was mucking you around?" and good job I didn't as they are now engaged . There was also the best wedding buffet ever - a HUGE cheese table, lush. There was a comedy misunderstanding when I introduced DH to the other person from work and she asked what he did for a living and then misheard "I fix trains" as "I fix drains"; cue a hilarious conversation, as she told him all about a problem with their washing machine and DH tried to work out what on earth it had to do with his job. We stayed till 10:30 then came home as DH had to be up before 6 this morning for work.

So yeah. Nobber of the Week award goes to me. (NotW, can we actually set this up? Maybe we could petition for a new emoticon, like the Pombear ?) I'm ashamed of my stupid pride and my negative slant on things and as Lisbeth so aptly put it, taking on so much hurt. It's like I actually go out and hunt for it because I'm convinced it's headed for me so I might as well find it first. How does one get so down and build such low expectations of people and life ? I'm going to make sure I learn a big lesson from this - that how I see things is not very often how other people see things.

Right, catching up:

squid, what a dramatic last day, glad you have finished. I am only a week into my summer holiday and I feel so much more relaxed, makes me realise what a strain it was working long hours in a physically and mentally demanding job. You'll feel heaps better after a couple of days rest and mental debriefing. Still loving your painted bump - told DH about the Death Star Bump idea and he really wants to give it a go when bump is bigger (can it actually GET any bigger?) - Beeble, as the owner of the idea, would you mind if we did?

huffle, your renovations sound like a marathon, impressed at your energy!

Angelico, how was the scan?

WantAnOrange, your DH sounds lovely. I wouldn?t know what to say to your friend in your situation either. Maybe just a note to tell her you are there for her if she wants to talk? And thank you for the sensory play link. I am starting to copy and keep stuff from these threads so I have it to refer to later, I now have loads on sensory play which is brilliant, not something I knew anything at all about pre Mumsnet!

smorgs, gah at bureaucracy, what a difficult situation. Is there anyone who could help your DH with the lifting?

Lisbeths, I like the dogs analogy, that?s a good way of looking at it. I hope chocolate feeds the bright dog, I?m eating a lot of that Glad you are feeling better too

Bella, need a link to the Buzz Lightyear set, sounds amazing! We were in Ikea the other day and we walked through the kids bit. There was a really cool space-age looking bunk bed and as I said ?that would be great if we had a boy?, DH blurted out ?I really, really want that bed!!!?. He will be such a great dad as he is still a total kid himself

Mickey, no! What a shit day. Gutting for your friend, I?m sure she feels terrible, but really, really awful for you, and after all that you didn?t even get to see the basketball, I really feel for you ? ooh, and would it help to be given this emoticon I have just found or would that just make it worse?. No idea what to suggest about the money, maybe she will offer to refund you some of it? I guess she might feel that she lots out too. It?s a really tricky situation.

Planktonette, Myleene Klass has a Quinny and loves it (according to her pregnancy book which I?m reading for some light relief!)

Updated bump photo on my profile, can't work out how to do a link to my own photos though!

And from now on I am going to try to post shorter threads.

Grrr, just lost a long post that took me ages to write :(

Mickey, happy brithday!! Your day yesterday sounds beyond awful and i now feel much better for lamely giving away my tix to table tennis today because i couldnt face the journey and toilet situation. Hope you have a wonderful party today.

planktonnette, from memory, the Quinny got good reviews on which - i think u just need to decide what features you need and then if Quinny has the, go for it. Nothing better than a cheap pram. They certainly look v smart :)

Squid, i am so glad u r finished and dont have to manage situations like that any longer. You will feel better soon after you adjust to rest and will happily reflect that the last thing you did before u went on your well deserved leave was save that girl's life

Lisbe, hope u feel happier, more human and less tearful soon. I am going to try and give you some flowers, but the emoticon might not work

wananorange, so sorry to heart about your friend, agree with yomping, maybe send card/flowers so ske knows u r thinking about her.

welcome to yoga, beeble. I love how easy and chilled out it is. Am looking forward to going to my fav class today - i bailed last week as it was too hot. huffle, can u find another class? I like being a yoga slut and go to 2 classes a week, each with a different instructor at a different venue.

yomping, glad u went and had a great time and feel better about your friendship :)

Angelico, how was the 4d scan? Is there really a cute bean in there, or is it an alien? :)

oh smorgs, what a PITAPOS! can u hire a man and a van or something so someone can help your hubby move stuff while you make them hot drinks and snacks?

Was just doing really well writing my first post in an eternity & the bloody stupid pooter decided to go to a completely different website & lost the lot!!! Now I have totally lost the plot & will have to have another go later when my brain starts to function again!!

Apologies ladies :) Will be lovely to catch up with all you lovely ladies properly & [biscuits] all round :)

stupid bloody technology!!!!

Please everyone do a sun dance for me- i think i need Squid's belly next to me!!!!!! And where on earth did you find the pombear emotion? JEALOUS!!

Ouch Planktonette that smarts. I did not intend to 'attack' anybody - perhaps you should heed your own advice.

to all of you, and what a difference 24 hours makes. I am still mentally unwinding and trying to adjust to the fact I not only have 8 weeks off but when they end they end with a BABBIE! rather than going back to work (I particularly appreciate planktonette's analogy of the bends....) And I love my job and appreciate its privileges and potential and it's secure as well and I am very lucky, but... oh mates... I am so in need of a long break and temporary change of direction.

Managed to get a couple of hour's nap yesterday afternoon and then had LOVELY if sleepy meal out with boyfriend at a cute rustic argentinian restaurant grilling steaks on a huge fire pit in the middle of the restaurant. I wore a long slinky black non-pregnant dress (it has some give) and my boots with cats on them and ate a giant piece of very rare steak. The waitresses were adorable to me and told me to drink wine as it has iron in it and said "how long have you got" and I said 8 weeks and they said, "No! You're tiny!" - which might have been angling for a tip, but was nice to feel sexy and appreciated. Slept pretty decent for most of last night and went for long walk with boy this morning over some hills overlooking the city ending in some shopping (new diary to plan fun August/September! gym ball to sit on! sketchpad!) and cups of tea in town and then wandered home. Feel dazed but loads better and THANK YOU all for not just rolling your eyes at what a nobber I am.

Sat in the sunshine on the floor by big open windows writing a list of all the things I can do over the next few weeks, off the top of my head and I'm already on page 3 :) :) :)

Just got in after taking DD to lido, where I had a couple of short swims but she refused to go in further than her ankles. She's rather overwrought today, after wetting her bed for the first time ever last night. Relief at finding I'd put on two mattress protectors was followed by dismay that the mattress was still damp underneath them. Hope this is a one-off after excitement of DH's return from NYC last night. He's in a good mood and not too jetlagged but informed me that he may have to go to Poland next week.

YompingJo so glad you had a good time at the wedding. I love other people's, but organising mine wasn't my best project. I was 17 weeks gone on the day (though it was NOT a shotgun thing - honest) and the top table logistics were a nightmare, as I am semi-estranged from my father, who was/is in a relationship with Another Woman, and Mum felt awkward about sitting up there without a partner... So I suggested M-, an old family friend, might like to join her? She was aghast. Little did I know (and only found out nine months later, when M- was helping me out during the final week of her life) that she'd had an affair with him in the late 70s. These things are a MINEFIELD.

Does anyone else feel barely pregnant at all one day, and the next everything aches and the bump feels huge? I suppose different hormonal surges must be to blame... Also getting cold feet about my ELCS in eight and a half weeks time, and wondering if I'm being a wimp in not wanting to try to push the blighter out. But apparently my chances of a VBAC aren't great, and DD had a very large head. And despite my earth mother side (slings, long-term breastfeeding, baby-led weaning and all that), I just don't want to go into labour again... But it's different for everyone and [thinks of the first-timers on here] a friend of mine had her third in May at home, very quickly, and refused gas and air because she felt so much in control. [STOP BANGING ON ABOUT CHILDBIRTH, ELPIS]

hufflepuffle thank you love, you were totally right and it was just an exhausted crash, I am counting down days/weeks till all you guys can finish working too! Very impressed/sympathetic you are renovating house, I just have to sort out the spare room and that feels like a big job in itself!

WantanOrange how unbelievably shit about your poor friend, I just cannot even... a friend of mine died when we were 26 and nothing in my life has ever felt wronger. When I hear about people losing partners at our age, I just... I don't know, you just don't even want to think about it do you. I don't know what you could say or do, probably nothing, but I'm thinking of you.
oh, and thank you for the link, I had been meaning to ask you about that again, it was you speaking about "real objects" as opposed to toys for kiddies, wasn't it? I liked the sound of it and am going to do some reading/thinking about it.

Thanks smorgs, I read a similar article in I think the guardian this morning - working after 8 months as bad for the baby as smoking, the headline said.
And you're another one moving house, you poor poor thing! Get someone else to carry stuff....

Planktonette thanks lovely. I found some parks this morning and they were great. They are also building a new park 2 mins from my house so I'm very happy about that, a lovely spot on the river to take baby squid (I call it squid's park as its official opening is baby's due date - how cool is that!?) thanks again.

lisbethsopposite Adorable story about the fountain. I love watching children and these days with my bump on show lots of people smile back :) Glad to hear you are feeling a little better though I completely relate with the dark moods and the sudden irrational body hatred and all that fun stuff! take care of yourself. ps. I apologise for misreading you the other day about finding an au pair, for some reason I got it into my head you were trying to BE an au pair - maybe you didn't notice but ignore me anyway! Any progress...?

thanks bella you're very kind. Your boy's world will be rocked.... but siblings are the best things, from my limited experience little kids are fascinated by and love babies.

yomping half my posts are freak outs whinges or massive self pitying meltdowns, I think that is what these forums are good for, so don't apologise!! We are all just really glad to hear your party was great and you had such nice comments from your friend. And nice one on the dancing, my belly appears to be in the way all the time! Also I think you fab and glam and (dare I say it) glowing. Also I want to say I read and really empathised with your post about body image the other day... I have found it really hard, not so much looking different, as not being able to run/jump/do pushups/do crazy workouts /hike mountains... I just miss that side of me! Some days it translates into me feeling "fat" even though I know I'm not... it's stupid and we put so much pressure on ourselves but I think every pregnant woman has been there at some point.

oh crap Mickey what a shit day, poor you. The pace of London must be unbearable right now... I am ok walking decent distances but I don't walk fast!! Have you seen someone about your SPD (ignore me if this has been suggested a million times) - physio can be helpful, as can I think certain support bindings etc. Hope your party is ok, I'm sure people will understand if you need to stay sat down!! enjoy eating pig!! it's sunny here so sending you sun-wishes!

Right and whose was the death star idea cause I LOVE IT and don't worry about the geek level because when I told boyfriend he said "which death star? the completed one or the half built one?" and I laughed at him a lot. Try googling pregnant belly paintings, there are some right weird ones out there! The ultrasounds painted on tums particularly freak me out!