Due in October 2012 Part 6 - Third Trimester Trials and Tribulations

[YompingJo]

Shiny new thread!

Ready?
Steady?
Go!

I've not had any BH at all so far...don't know whether to feel pleased or abnormal!

Ha, helpful DH wantanorange. My DH calls them branston pickles, bless.

I remember someone saying they'd used the babyjogger city mini with their DC1 right from birth? We have a BJCM, got it when DS was about 10m - wondering what you used to make it snuggly for a newborn? Have a double buggy too but some days will just have DC2 with me. TIA!

Hello everyone!
I've been away on holiday for a week and goodness, it's taken me a little while to catch up! I won't even try to reply to everyone because I might end up here for another week doing that but have missed you all and was really looking forward to logging on and seeing how everyone's been when I got home.
First of all, sympathy to everyone with health worries - scary enough at the best of times but when pregnant evrything is about a hundred times more scary. To those with gestational diabetes big hugs but remember, the main thing is that you've found out about it and so it can be managed and all the problems controlled, the scary complications I think are somuch more likely if it goes up diagnosed.
On the sex front - I haven't felt in the mood at all for weeks and weeks. Weird as this may sound, kind of feels like the baby is watching and doesn't feel quite right doing anything. Am well aware that this is purely my own irrationality! I have a lovely lovely dh and was feeling really bad about this but we had a nice open chat about it, he says he feels similarly so we have both agreed just to enjoy cuddling and being close and not worry about sex for now. I think like someone else says the important thing is being able to talk about it.
cwest with you again on the scared of elective c section front. Dd has recently developed a real fear of dying - sobbing hysterically at bedtime cos she doesn't want to die - and although I am doing my very best to stay calm it is freaking me out a bit (a lot). I know everything willbe fine and different to last time but am still scared. Also feeling generally anxious about everything - probably just hormones but keep seeing worst case scenarios everywhere. Sigh. Just need to get a grip really.
Also had horrible leg cramps last night. And then my leg really really hurt all day today so have been doing a particularly inelegant limping waddle from place to place.
Best stop now before I whinge and whine too much - have had a lovely if not super relaxing holiday so am very lucky

Hey all! Londonmrss and Yomping thanks for thoughts in position, makes sense. Continued today but now also def hav bum jumping up and down on opposite side, it is constant and mad!

Angelico gosh, hope u ok. That's all a bit mad indeed! Thinking of u.

Just had to let u kno about best bit of my birthday today.... Lovely card on fireplace this morn addressed to 'mummy' which on the card said ' I might be only little but you are the best mummy in the world' Cue half hour crying. Brilliant DH, enough brownie points for a long time there!!!

Totally exhausted after lovely but tiring birthday and major BH going on now!!

Take care ladies, xx

Hi everyone, loving the prolific posting although its taken me about three days to catch up with everyone!!!

I usually can remember names and whatnot but i am so tired today I may just write a general reply to you all, hope noone minds!!

Sympathies to those with GD, it doesn't sound very nice but at the same time at least you know about it now and you can keep an eye on it.
Angelico Crikey, I hope you are OK!! Our doula wrote me a list for a hospital bag (and a secret bag) the other day and although its ridiculously early I may just pack it because it's exciting and fun and i want to get this over with as quick as possible.
I requested to join the facebook group but agreeeing that I would rather post on here! Still nice to put faces to names though :) And may also be fun to see who is in your area? I'm in South Bucks if anyone is..

Have had my antenatal classes through and actually (dare I say it) was a bit disappointed? I have two two-hourly sessions and thats it. Four hours? To teach me how to give birth and cope with a newborn and look after it and make sure I don't drop it and breastfeed it.

God I'm glad we decided to go for a doula! She's been wonderful so far :]

She also tells me some hilarious stories (from her midwifery time), ranging from midwives running down corridors with placentas and tripping up and it all exploding all over the labour ward, to complete horror stories about women who leave the chord and placenta attached to their babies until it finally stops pulsating, which could take up to a week! It made me feel very sick :S

Have seriously overdone it at work today and now in agony with hips and legs.. the joy of SPD. And I just CAN NOT GET COMFORTABLE. It's so distressing. It's so hot and I can't sleep without the fan on. I keep waking up in hugeee wet patches (my boobs are like flowing taps already). And then DP and dog decide to cuddle up (which is sweet but god give the pregnant lady a break!!!) and UGGGGGGGHH.

On the plus side I have only got 12 weeks left to go and 9 weeks left at work :D Wooo!!!

Joining in on the sex debate- ours has dwindled to once, twice a fortnight at the moment. Its not great and I can't seem to er.. find the big O either. Which was never ever a problem before. I feel fat and it just takes up so much energy... But DP also has had serious back probs so he has not felt up for it much either. I agree with the talking thing- if you can be open about it then you generally find that it isn't a problem. Cuddlings nice when its not so damn hot

OH dear well I think I might go and colllapse fall asleep now- Sorry for such a general reply, must get better at replying more frequently.
Hope you are all OK. And feeling a bit better after health/work/moving worries. We are moving in two weeks as well, and I am excited but dreading it at the same time....

Exhausted, 28+2, DC1

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY huffle :D

I'm a sweaty melting mess and have been all day in warm, very humid Norway; now in my flat and all day in a non air-conditioned shopping mall. Yeeeeeouch!!!

Huffle have been thinking about your position thing since I read it and thinking how I could explain/looking for a pic as it sounds like we're getting movement in the same places...

At 29/30 weeks I started seeing bulges out the left side of my belly button that felt a big like a leg/knee but I later concluded is one side of a hard butt! Then kicks, which I had previously only felt on the left, started to the right of the belly button, simultaneously to these butt-poking movements/wriggles. I too worried that meant she was transverse. Actually it's more like she's bigger than I imagine (and she's not very big for my dates). She's head down (don't know about engaged) as several scans have confirmed so I figure the diagram on this page explains the bulges out on the left side (bum/thighs) of belly button and kicks to the right (feet/heels).

Does that make any sense? It seems a likely scenario to me and also, if it is the case, is apparently the optimal position for the start of labour/vaginal delivery!! :)

Hugs to everyone but must leave computer now as skin feels like it's literally melting off I'm sweating so much (also have to eat - blood sugar shit - doh!). Will check in on/catch up with you all tomorrow night when the DSDs have gone back to their mums x

Oh and now I see Mickey's post - huffle, is it your birthday? A very very happy birthday to you! :) . I hope you've had at least one ! :)

Fjordmor that is excellent detective work and makes perfect sense!!! Thank you so much, very impressed. Clever baby too, hope it stays like that!! Hope u get some cooling relief soon. X

And yes, I am currently finishing my birthday with half a glass of the loveliest coldest most gorgeous white wine I have ever tasted!! DH even poured it for me without a withering look!! Thank you for wishes folks!

35 today, 32 weeks today, 6 weeks of work to go! Not a bad day! X

ooo that wine soundes nice huffle hope you had a lovely birthday. i'm working up to 37 weeks, i can't wait to leave!

Angelico i haven't done a thing in prep for this baby but since reading your post i'm off to make a list (hey it's a step forward)! you'd have thought i'd know better as about 3 years ago i went in to hospital for a 36 week scan and came out a week later with a prem baby, a csection scar and still no hospital bag! i hope you're doing ok?

i haven't had any BH yet either Kyyria

i'm havinf major trouble sleeping through the night which is all good practice i guess but have just finished a 6 day week at work and could really do with the rest. i also can't find my hypnobirhting file from my last pregnancy, it's got the CD and all the exercise transcripts in!! whimper

Happy belated birthday huffle! The wine sounds delicious.

I am another one who hasn't really prepared for this baby, perhaps I am slightly in denial! Might spend a bit of time today making a list of what actually needs doing. It's a bit harder (excuses, excuses) because we've been hoping to move house - even though there's no way that'll happen before the baby comes now - so no real point in sorting out a nursery or whatever, especially as it'll be in our room to strt with.

It seems very ungrateful to be complaining about the summer finally arriving but UGH it?s hot. Worse cos we?re in a small flat and we have to shut the windows after 430am cos of the flight path. TOO hot. But (small smile here) next weekend we should be in the new house and NO F.....g aircraft. YAY for that.

DF was a right nobber yesterday. We got up and I did packing whilst he sorted his kit out for his cycle race with his mate. I packed solidly from 8am til 4pm by which time my back was killing me and I was pretty hacked off. He finally got back at about 530pm and then started chivvying me to go to the cinema with him and some of his mates and had a go when I said that my back was hurting, I had some ice on it, and if he could wait half an hour I could see how I?d be doing. Or he could just go on his own. We had a bit of a frank exchange of views when I pointed out that I am 6.5 months pregnant and moving house and many women would have told him to fuck right off with his plans to race last Saturday, this Saturday and next Saturday, but I have been supportive, because I know it?s important to him, but frankly I?m in pain and I think it?s f.....g unreasonable to give me a guilt trip about not wanting to go to the cinema. Eventually he saw sense and apologised and I decided to man up and go to the cinema with him and his mates (Bourne Legacy ? alright but the best bit about it was the air con, frankly) and didn?t enjoy sitting or walking much. Owww. Anyway. This morning, he?s still asleep. I?m too hot. And I?m a bit cross. Deep breath.

huffle glad you had a good birthday.

Very impressed at those of you with regular sex lives. Tis rather less frequent round here. Too tired, stressed and sore more of the time to even contemplate it. And when we?re stressed we tend to not even cuddle (we?d do two brief kisses a day and no contact other than that) which makes me sad. Must try to change that.

Fjord I love the idea of getting a friend recruited as a mystery shopper on your flat. Sounds good. You can get the estate agent text re-written from abroad though if you want ? just email them and tell them what you want it to say. And they have to change it. I did this with mine (I haven?t seen the estate agents since January as I don?t live there!). And do check the pricing of flats in that block ? it may be that things have changed and yours is seeming pricey compared to flats on quieter streets. I hear you re being open to offers but (say) if your budget is 225k, many first time buyers wouldn?t even go and look at a flat that?s advertised at 250k because they think it?s out of their reach (even if you might have accepted their offer). So I think it?s worth keeping that in mind. Good luck. And totally feeling your pain on heatwave in small flats.

And absolutely have NOT packed my hospital bag. Packing the entire flat. Hospital bag can wait. I?m only 29 weeks. I figure if she were to arrive now we?d have WAY bigger problems than whether I?ve packed nipple cream. And she?d be in ITU anyway. But I?ll get on that once the house moves (from DF?s flat and then three days? later from my flat and my storage unit) are done. And I?ve had a lie in. I?m tired just bloody thinking about the moves. Deep breath. Sigh.

Sorry about the epic moan of a post. I shall go and find another cold glass of water. and possibly tip it over DF so he gets up and helps

Hi im new to mumsnet hope you dont mind me jumping on your thread.
Im due with my third on the 11th just wondering if any of you have had your nesting bug yet?
Im feeling a bit deflated because i wouldve expected mine to be here now but as it is im still sitting in the same spot on the sofa with the list of things to be done getting longer and longer, and no indication of any urges to do anything anytime soon :(

Another one here finding the heat quite hard, though am also very grateful I am no longer working in the hospital as those places are pressure cookers when it's hot. I am lucky in that my flat has huuuuuge windows so I just open them really wide. The cats eat the flies.

Sex, meh: until recently we were still having it 3/4 times a week which is only a slight dip from pre-pregnant, but then last week it was hot and boyfriend was feeling under the weather with huge allergic itchy insect bites and didn't want it, and then I was awake most of last night with pain in my pelvis which has made me paranoid about opening my legs too wide even though we are free this morning... meh, meh, meh! I have a high sex drive (higher than him) and this is miserable. We still cuddle and that and despite my unsettled nights he refuses to sleep elsewhere.

Maybe the pelvic pain is because I've just been overdoing it a bit. I'm walking about 5 miles a day, just around the river, it's lovely. Friday I was on my feet most of the day, shopping and wandering and then I stood in a huge crowd and cheered Jess Ennis home for hours and then walked home. Maybe it was just a bit much.

Yesterday I had an all day antenatal class which boyfriend loved but I found a bit tiring. The midwife was lovely (and very supportive of homebirths, breastfeeding and co-sleeping so I felt encouraged and reassured as that's what I'm hoping to do) but it was a small room without windows for 6 hours and I have not ... SAT ... that long in very long time. I had a desk job once upon a time before medical school but since then all my work and play tends to be quite active and by the end of the day I was in agony. Possibly this is what caused all the hip/pelvic pain actually.

Anyway like I said boyfriend found the class useful and very reassuring. We went through the stages of labour and the things that can happen. Normal labour was emphasised which was good for me but might not have been helpful for everyone, but I'm not sure how else she could have done it with those time constraints. There was a good session on positions in labour and ways partners could help physically and emotionally - again very useful for me, but I felt quite conscious of the women in there without partners - I don't know if they didn't have them or they couldn't make it. I was the only one there hoping for a home birth but she emphasised how everyone should stay at home for as long as they can as the latent, pre-labour phase can be very lengthy in first labours and you will generally be more relaxed and less tired if you can manage at home for that period. Also I think the hospital would send you home if you're not 3 or 4cm dilated. After lunch we went through how to bath a baby, things to try when babies are crying, and all the advantages of breastfeeding. The day was fine but I was very uncomfortable like I said. All the other women there were quite a bit younger or older than me (teenagers or in their 40s) so I felt like a bit of an anomaly! Boyfriend was very happy and positive and telling me afterwards how I've done everything right (I've been doing a lot recently to try and help baby be in the right position - no guarantees, but it seems you can make your life SO much easier if you stick to being upright/leaning forward/keeping active and avoiding the sofa-slouch (which I find too uncomfortable now anyway)). He is convinced I am going to have a troublefree home birth and am going to manage it all really well and since I was told I am engaged and still walking so much he thinks baby could be early too - I keep telling him this is not likely! Still his optimism and confidence in me is really lovely. I am a lucky girl.

I do feel positive but I guess as time gets nearer (5 weeks now) I am feeling a bit nervous too. Not about labour really - I view it like a challenge and am almost looking forward to it - but I'm not thrilled about the waiting game or the giant unknown. Squid is kicking like mad all the time so I'm sure s/he's fine and I do feel like I've grown a bit last few days so less worried about being small for dates - I'm being re-measured on Tuesday. Boyfriend tried to measure me yesterday and made it 33cm which was reassuring. Had a friend stay over Friday night as well, he's an ITU nurse but he's done quite a lot of obstetric work in Africa as well, he said baby was in a great position and could only feel the shoulders.

I have just started doing perineal massage and it's uncomfortable.

I am very tired and didn't sleep last night and had a huge cry when I woke up which was pathetic, my life is lovely right now, really lovely, nothing to cry about, I am tired and heavy and a bit achy but never dreamed I would still look nice or be active at 35 weeks, really squid stop crying! I am going to see a mate for lunch later, I am so looked after and loved. I need a shag or at least a cuddle. Maybe I'll report back in a few hours...

Happy belated birthday Huffle!

Sending love and good vibes to all of you, going to be erratic on here for next week and a half till we have internet at new house. Special hugs to the SPD brigade - think that must be the absolute worst thing to have :( Also to all the house movers. My parents are up helping us do stuff in new house ready for the 'big stuff' move tomorrow - removal men taking 90% of the furniture away, leaving just a bed, table etc. I feel tired and heavy and useless for anything packing related, even standing for more than ten minutes sends feet up like bubbles :( Community midwife coming later to check BP, she keeps telling me, "Rest!" and I keep thinking, "How?! The rest of the world / life doesn't stop!!!" But after tomorrow the worst is over :)

As for sex - what's that? Oh yeah, that thing that used to seem really important got me into this mess in the first place :o Roll on post-bean! May well get taken at 38 weeks for CS if bean keeps growing like a weed - less than 5 fucking weeks!!! We're not ready!!!!

Welcome mummypig! Still waiting on the nesting myself, much preferring sitting on sofa too! 32 wks, better hurry up!!

Squid mixed reassurance here, cry away, but och don't cry!!! I've cried enough tears this wk to last a year, but yesterday and today are good days!! We just take rough with smooth. Sing your baba a wee song or tell it a story. The responding kicks cheer me every time. Oh and as for the perineal massage, bought the oil, bookmarked the leaflet Yomping linked to but looks and sounds hideous....... Gladly waiting til 34 wks to tentatively try......

Angelico kno I keep saying it, but good luck with move!! Really happening now!!

Oh and as for my response on sex question.... I am def lowest in class. I kid you not, last time made this baby...... Combo of hideously nauseous first 4 months, DH deciding I am now a precious princess, being freaked by little person in the way and early exhausted nights for us both. I am ashamed and embarrassed to admit!! So I better take the perineal massage seriously or there will be no stretch down below at all come October!!!!

Do not panic on my behalf, we hav discussed and are ok with and have lots of cuddles and love daily!

I am mortified.......... X

Had a lovely day today, little brother (8 years younger so will always be "little" brother to me) visited and we wandered around Winchester, went to a really cool pub for lunch then wandered along the canal and back (this bit was less nice for me as I was melting in the heat and had sweaty, rubbing thighs making me waddle and sometimes exercise makes me... leak a bit, ugh.). He says he's really looking forward to being an uncle, and it's really sweet to hear him say that. He says he has been taking a new interest in the babies that are brought in to his office by colleagues who are on maternity leave, and he has been asking to hold the babies to practice! This baby is quite a big deal to my family which is very small, and the youngest member is now 18.

Second day of natal hypno course really good. (Did I already say that? Can't remember). So glad we did it. DH feeling much, much more confident about knowing what will be happening and what he can do/how he can help at each stage. He has tentatively said he might quite like to cut the cord, which is a pretty big step for him - when I asked him a couple of months ago if he wanted to, he looked horrified and said a very definite no! Very interesting discussion about the history of birth in our culture and the slow, steady change from natural, done at home with minimal fuss, to highly medicalised with interventions almost as standard. Very thought provoking.

Mickey, what goes in a "secret bag"? Can you tell us or would you have to kill us? And I have read that cord stops pulsating in about 10 mins (I want to delay cutting it until this has happened, but not for a week, eek!!! )) but in some cultures they leave cord attached to baby until placenta starts to shrivel - that could take longer. Learnt yesterday that the cord will look blue - I just assumed it would be red, or like a red rope and blue rope wound round each other. This link about the how the appearance of the cord changes during the few minutes after birth is interesting but quite graphic.

WantanOrange, your bump is gorgeous, looks perfectly normal sized to me, love the way it looks like it is popping out to say "hello"!

Fjord, that diagram you linked to was really helpful, apart from I have a serious baby brain today and kept looking at it thinking "mine's the other way round" until I realised it would be a mirror image. Then I actually had to stand up, turn around, then crane my neck to look back at the picture, to work out that that is the position I think my baby is in too. Doh. Good news if he/she is, though.

LondonLivvy, did you pour the water over him? Know how you feel, kind of - we're not packing for a house move but my DH is training for a triathlon, having really got the bug, and I want to be supportive but sometimes when he talks about getting up early to go for a run, or going off to the gym in the evening, I feel like he's paying more attention to that than to me. Then I man up and go to the gym with him and feel better - sometimes!

Angelico, good luck for the move, and you too LondonLivvy - fingers crossed you are both "in" and able to relax very soon.

A puddle of Yomping on the floor, 37, 33 + 2.

Wow Yomping ! Blue?! Looks like plastic!! V surprised by that. Just made mistake of showing DH...... Wants to erase it from his memory!!!

Welcome mummypig, great name :)
cwest and smiley, my bestie cried all day before her c section because she was so scared - i think it's normal to be scared, but, seriously, everyone i know who's had one loved it and would def choose to go it again, rather than have a VB.
Sex - huffle, we r the same as u!! b/f has low sex drive anyway and would prefer a back scratch. I am normally more randy, but not so much since late 1st trimester bleeding. I was scared it would return, despite doc's reassurances to the contrary. That bleeding was the worst experience of my whole pregnancy, it just felt so wrong and i was sure i was miscarrying. Miss feeling desired, but still not so in the mood. We have talked about it and are happy to cuddle/back scratch/head rubs for now. smiley, i relate to that feeling about being uncomfortable that the bean is there!! I had a 3am post toilet trip hormonal melt down about the lack of sex the other nite - I had a big panic and was convinced I would never feel sexy again and we would never have any sort of sex life and would end up splitting up, but b/f woke up and I had a big cry and then a cuddle and felt better.
Had hippy yoga antenatal class yesterday. The other 2 hubbies had been to NCT/NHS antenatal, so poor b/f felt like a bit of a dunce. The boys and girls split up into groups and came up with pain relief options....the boys had methadone on their list, how funny!! i do hope that wasn't from my boy, but he did say he struggled to contribute :)
belated happy birthday, huffle!
fjord, sorry, i know I am not being very sympathetic, but I can't help giggling at the thought of u not being able to fit in our shower :) I'm sure it wont really come to that, but I know u have said u have a very little flat, so am assuming u must have an exceptionally tiny shower, if it does :)
squid I hope your aches and pains have improved - i would blame all the sitting around, normally u cope well with exercise. I always feel better after a good cry - i think crying releases endorphins.
So hot, was craving a swim in that magical place, the hampstead heath ladies pond all day yesterday at antenatal class....had an epic journey getting to and from there this morning - got lost, nearly died in the heat, needed to pee, no toilets....one lovely lady who gave me directions was obviously a bit worried about someone in my condition, sweating like a pig, rambling about in the hot weather....but OMG, it was worth it when i found it in the end. Wish i was there now....

ooops, that should be 'your' shower, not 'our' shower, fjord. God forbid any other preggo woman should be anywhere near the dangerous death trap that is our in-the-midst-of-rennos flat :)

Oooh Yomping I'd have to kill ya ;)
But if I whisper it will be okay....
A secret bag apparently should contain the following;

• baccy and rizlas for DP so that when the going gets tough i can throttle him for being able to go and have a cigarette he can go and have a cigarette (i have given him permission .
• a filter for me (shoot me bad mum) so that if i feel so inclined, after i have given birth i can also have, a long, long, awaited rollie. Just the one though before you all tell me off, being truthfully honest here!!
• change for the car park
• my teddy (he comes to hospital every time with me)
• chocolate for me
• jaffa cakes for me. (This needs a separate line as jaffa cakes are an important thing in my life ;)
• aromatherapy oils :)

I think that was it but if I think of anything else i'll let you know!!
Thanks for the link, I had no idea the chord was blue!!! I thought it was more a purpley red colour..

Right I have a question for you all now that you have started mentioning it. Doula mixing me up a massage oil of some kind, and she said to use for a perineal massage. I didn't want to look stupid like a first timer so I nodded and said "thankyou very much", god help me what the hell is a perineal massage? Can someone well informed explain this to me please?!

I had to go and buy more bras today. And breast pads. Already. I will let you know which ones work out best, bought the lansinoh ones today but thinking i may try some cheaper ones next time as £5.49 for 60 pads seemed extortionate to me!!

Hello all -
Hope things are getting better for you Angelico and good luck with move - are you now post move?

Mikey I had mastitis twice with DS - it is ghastly. Boob is like a boil and roaring temp. Anyway, apparently it is a bacterial infection of the milk duct and the most common bacteria is the one that causes baby to have sniffley nose - forget name. According to a pharmacy friend, the jury is out on the benefit of creams, lansinoh etc. Hands and creams can harbour bacteria...So what do you do for sore nipples or the nipple has cracked (quite common, I'm afraid).
I later on discovered individually wrapped sterile breast pads. Trying to spare money I used to cut them in half as they were quite big - I reckoned they did not need to be sterile, just not have baby sneeze/grubby hands on them. I found them very effective and actually never finished the box. I don't remember what they cost but for sure I will be getting them again. I forget the name, but I think the box was purple. Anyway I would use individual pads above a tube of cream - the £5.49 might turn out to be great value, if you never have mastitis (which many BF women never have).

Mickey dashing in to say I really rate the lansinoh ones - they're super absorbent and the best I found. But then I had massive over-supply issues and used to leak bucketloads, so if you don't have that issue cheaper ones may be fine. Or you can get washable ones, but beware these really vary in terms of quality.

I'm too hot to do anything

Thanks for letting me know ladies. I think I'm just a cheapskate, ha ha. I think its a bit of a rip off how they can make so much money out of pregnant women, because obviously pregnant women will never run out will they?! The business will always be there so I swear they charge more because they can get away with it. Grr .