Due in October 2012 Part 6 - Third Trimester Trials and Tribulations

[YompingJo]

Shiny new thread!

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Morning peeps. About to shoot off down to house but Huffle just wanted to say please, please don't be worried about not posting to everyone, some days it's just impossible because the board moves so fast. As Squid said when you're working too it's absolutely knackering just staying alive AND you've had the house stuff to get organised too which is a fulltime job in itself, believe me I know.

You are far better off losing the pressure to move until you have more time to think about it but don't be put off coming on for a rant or a quick hello - that's what we're here for.

Sending some , and a for you and everyone who is knackered and struggling gamely on! x

Bella x-posted. Hope your kids got on well - know the worry of the A-Level results! Was pleased with my lot who got exactly what they deserved (bar one who mangled one paper) but of course they're all supposed to get A's now aren't they, regardless of their actual ability to read / write etc...

Ah the joys of teaching :o

Aww thanks folks. I appreciate your posts. Xx
Bella I am not in education, nothing so noble!! I am an optician with my own practice which has been my baby til now. And this week has been end of VAT quarter and staff wages. Never mind all the good mummies getting kids eyes tested before they go to school!! So yes, it is all hard work. I am am list person but currently afraid to start writing them....! That is my plan for Sunday!

Cheers ladies, over and out. X

Hello all,
I have a 2yr old here that I am determined to take swimming but I had to reply to you Fjordmor trying to type with said 2yr old trying to climb on me.

I am sooo sorry if I sounded like I was dismissing your concerns. This would be from the woman rushing to the EPU because her blue line wasn't 'blue' enough .
I am a kind of list person myself and sometimes when confronted with problems I make a list of the positives and the negatives. Then I try to improve the positives and shrink the negatives. I was trying to look on the positives of being pregnant in Norway with complications, not dismiss your worries. GD and decreasing movement is worrying - not to mention the flat (not) going on in the background. Anyway sorry if I was a bit of a nobber.

Hey huffle - don't worry about "being selfish" - you don't have to respond to anything on here. I'm not surprised you feel exhausted and low when you're so busy. As long as you know that we are all here if you want to come and rant...

Sending and a big hug x

Hugs to Huffle. Please be as vocal or as quiet as you like on here.

I have a question (that no one has to answer if they don't want to).

How is everyones' sex life going? I admit I'm a bit too knackered to keep up the 4-5 times a week routine we were in before pregnant, but even our current twice a week routine isn't quite as exciting as I'd like it to be. It's partly because I'm knackered and just can't be bothered a lot of the time, but it's mostly because I find it so hard to get comfortable! It's just a logistical nightmare; has anyone found any good positions that work?

I hope no one minds the direction of this conversation...

Oh lisbeth no! It is I who feel like the nobber as I was worried that I'd expressed myself so clumsily (as is often the case) that you were worried that I am more fretful than I actually am! (if that makes any sense!) I didn't feel you dismissed my worries at all and it's great to be reminded of how lucky I am in certain areas as I do drift into 'oh poor me' some days . I hope you manage to get out to swimming with DS and have a lovely time! :)

huffle - you're currently being a legend. Have & . Staying caught up on this thread is an epic feat that I only manage occasionally (and then post so much I add to the load of all the poor souls trying to stay caught up!! ). I also have a flat full of boxes to sort before baby arrives and I am not even having to contend with a full time job so hats off to you! Please don't overdo it! :)

Angelico - hope you get some answers - thinking of you!

Midget - ah - on top of it? I hope so. I did drift into the low GI diet very easily as, with a history of PCOS I had tried it before to manage that - and it's not a million miles away from my usual diet of choice anyway just needed to cut out all the ice cream, sweets, junk food etc.. PCOS that weirdly mysteriously 'disappeared' when I was trying to get pregnant - something of a tiny miracle for which I'll be eternally grateful even though it was replaced with rampant fibroids. I'm feeling you on the enormous bump thing by the way...I am now having great difficulty getting in and out of the shower cubicle and say sorry to the bump every time I scrape it along the glass door opening - have got no bath here and a stupid long, shallow modern basin so heaven knows how I'll wash my hair if I stop fitting in the shower. DP is thinking of taking the door off as our bathroom is effectively a wet room . Also forever having to swerve 'walking backwards in a daze' cruise ship tourists in town who blindly head for the bump with their elbows as I waddle along like an obese goose .

TMI alert - content of personal sexual nature

LondonMrs - grrrr don't ask . When we do do it the only way it seems comfortable is woman sitting on top (the only way that doesn't squash bump somehow I guess). Works ok, takes a little 'engineering' and isn't 'how it was' but is better than nothing.

Having said that, I'm probably not the best slide rule for a pregnant woman to measure her sex life against. All the way along I've been up for it 4-5 times a week. DP has remained only up for it once every 10-19 days (YES I'm counting!!!!) for most of my pregnancy and now I'm warned (by baby centre etc) that I've reached the point that it may be too uncomfortable for me!! With at least 7 weeks to go until I deliver and we're not supposed to do it for what? 6-8 weeks after? fills me with dread.

Oh boy do I ever have a lot to catch up on. I do read every day, but usually can't find the energy to post.

angelico I hope you can get in for another checkup, though weight estimates are notoriously innacurate so try not to worry
yomping please send me lists! I hate making lists, but love live usiing them!

midgetm thank you for the up a ladder visual, made me chuckle. Also re bump slap... I bump slapped a little boy in the face trying to get past a busy lineup in a restaurant. Whoops! Will we get to see a cute baby belly pic????
Ugh.. Still 41 work days left for me!
huffle don't worry, babies reLly do not need a lot of room. Could do with a moses basket and a slung. I get the house proud thing. Mine is a disaster most days. I don't think men understand how women judge other women (especially mothers) on tne state of their house.

And HAPPY BITHDAY!!!!!!!

Part 2

lindonmrs i'm going to be totally honesty here, sorry for the TMI but hopefully someone else in the same boat. I have very very little desire for sex right now, however do "take care of myself about once a week. I hardly ever orgasm with dp, so that is fairly common practice for me..

Re the actual sex thing, I.m very swollen in tnat area at the moment, and am sufferung with eithe hemmeroids or fissures which also makes me uncomfotable in that area. I also can no longer see to shave, so all un all feeling very unattractive down tgere.. DH expresses his wishes for sex more often (currently inly managing ince every 2 to 3 WEEKS. Am I a bad wife for wanting himto "take matters unto his own hands" or should I be finding other ways to please him??????

Hey Beeble, I reckon it's a tough one for the blokes. Mine doesn't initiate as much as he used to which is because he doesn't want to pressure me and he knows how tired I am. If he was constantly asking for it, I'd be really annoyed because my body is going through something so extraordinary and exhausting. But when he doesn't ask for it enough, I feel very neglected and unwanted. So he can't win basically!

I think you should do what feels natural and if you're not up for it, well he'll just have to deal with it- it's perfectly normal. Men don't have any idea what it's like. The best men just talks about exciting baby things a few times a day and gives his partner as much sympathy as he can, and tries to understand as much as he can. But that's nothing compared to actually sharing your body with this tiny person 24 hours a day.

I think the most important thing is for a couple to talk openly about sex (easier said than done) and if the sex just isn't happening, to accept that's normal and continue to have lots of cuddles and affection.

Thank you all for your kind posts and support, lovely lovely ladies, xx xx And yes I am a nobber but yes I am still mostly gonna lie low and sort meself out.

Just popping in with a 'do you have this too?' question....

I have thought this week that baby has went head down and possibly engaged (tho only 32 wks tmrw) as I am suddenly able to bend over much more freely, do not have 'full feeling' at top of abdomen. It has been so much more comfortable.

However, past 2 days I am getting merciless digs in my right side, probably in line with belly button. My clothes are jumping constantly. It is sort of ticklish but actually sore mostly! I can feel what is likely a limb there when I rub. Happens most of day and lot of night. Worried baba is sidewards??? Transverse, I suppose. Do you think if was head down it could still kick sidewards like that? And surely if it was transverse it would be horribly more uncomfortble?? (My 'cube' bump on Saturday and Sunday last week was def sidewards and felt very weirdly wrong!)

Been constant all day, regardless of how busy i am. Think it is trying to punch way out?!!

Thanks for al and s. I really do need them all!
xx

ps it is so easy to type on a computer! Bloody phone is the problem you know!!

good advice mrsS. We are in the same boat. I am not feeling very attractive or the least bit sexy right now, so it is hard to be in the mood, but still feel even worse that DH isn't initiating it. Felt that it compounded my view of myself as a fat, sweaty, swollen woman that he wouldn't want to sleep with anyway. I too can't get comfy and hate being on top at the moment as I feel huge and can't get someones anecdote on here about their DH making sumo wrestler noises out of my head! We did talk about it and I feel so much better since he re-assured me that he does find me attractive like this, but has tried to take my lead. I can see how early nights because I am exhausted, millions of pillows barricading myself in, carpal tunnel wrist splints, gum guard for teeth grinding etc etc does not send out 'please bonk me' vibes! However, I am not that every night, and I do think there is a part of him that feels my body is someone elses at the minute and he isn't too keen. I worry massively about his acceptance of not much sex at the minute, although, as you say-he can't win! I would hate it if he disturbed me from my pillow mountain every night for it! Ha!

Sorry Huffle-got mixed up. Sounds like you have a very demanding job-not surprised you feel as you do. Don't be a stranger.

angelico thanks for the results support. So glad yours were ok. I work at a high achieving private school so totally get the mindset of 'if it isn't an 'A' it is a fail' which is so hard to cope with. I hope you are ok today? Have you spoken to your GP or midwife about the measurement concerns?

Bella age 29 31+1 day edd 18th oct

Sex - wasn't allowed to do it first trimester - high risk, 2nd trimester, bleeding, advised not to do it, 3rd trimester, feeling rather unsexy and knackered so by the time I get DD to bed it is the last thing on my mind. I miss it - sometimes I really feel like it but the mind is willing, the flesh is weak.

Hey Huffle I'm often wondering the same thing and trying to work out position based on movements. I've assumed too that side kicks mean transverse but actually I imagine it more like this picture: www.babycentre.co.uk/pregnancy/fetaldevelopment/29weeks/ ie bum is probably at the opposite end to the head, but unless legs are stretched, they can be anywhere in between! Plus you could be feeling hands or elbows. I've tried to interpret movements using this method: spinningbabies.com/baby-positions/belly-mapping but either it's very difficult, or I'm too stupid.
Need to stop posting and get on with some work. Can you tell I'm bored in the office?
Keep cool this weekend ladies, it's going to be a hot one. I'm thinking about moving into the car as it's the only place we have air con.

Thanks London. I really do try to tell him how I feel about it, telling him it's just not comfortable anymore. Oh well. But I also seem to be building some resentment of the cuddling too. I know I shouldn't but I just keep reading into it as "this is me telling you subtly that i really want SEX".

Huffle, head down does not necessarily mean legs front or back. If you think about it, baby could be head down but turned sideways so its spine is one side of your bump and its legs and arms can kick/punch other side. Mine seems all over the place at the moment!

Sex - very of those of you who normally do it 4/5 times a week, have never managed that despite knowing it would be very good for relationship! Normally manage weekly or twice a week (depending on whether it's term time/holidays) with DH sometimes 'taking care of himself' in my presence instead (this is very lazy of me but he likes it and it means no effort for me). At the moment, about fortnightly. I have to feel sexy and relaxed, which isn't happening often and I am best in mornings so we need a lie in which again isn't happening often. Sometimes I do a bit of DIY then feel terrible about it as it has taken care of a desire that he would doubtless have liked to be a part of Positions - I still find it fairly comfy on my back as long as he keeps his weight off bump. Not sure I could take me being on top seriously, the view down to the bump would be horrifying! Doggy style is OK too.

I am going to try to post a little less - once every couple of days - to do my bit to keep the thread a bit more manageable.

Natal hypno course today brilliant, really, really recommend it. DH apparently very easily hypnotised, and the sound of his snoring made me want to and made it quite hard for me to stay focussed but it was great apart from that! We both feel more relaxed about everything and he is getting a much better understanding of what to expect and how he can help me stay calm. Saw a couple of clips of women labouring using the techniques and they were so hugely calm and serene, you could hardly believe it was labour.

Too much else to reply to but sending general hugs and support to anyone with health worries or work worries or house worries. Liked one of the mantras from today about breathing: inhale peace, exhale tension. Simple, but reminds you to take a moment every so often to just... be.

Home-made sushi for dinner tonight, yay. Not the raw fish kind as we are wimps. I have all sorts of things like avocado and mango in mine. DH once made full english brekkie sushi rolls containing bacon, egg mayo and sausage! Legendary!

Yomping, 37, 33 weeks today, inhaling peace and exhaling tension!

Beeble, cross posted - know what you mean about being suspicious of cuddling, I can get very like that too. It helps a lot telling DH that's how I am feeling, he always reassures me that if sex is off the menu then he really, really wants to just be close to me, and he doesn't have an ulterior motive for cuddling me. Am sure it's the same for your DH - don't feel bad, keep talking to him and tell him how you feel, especially about the cuddling.

yompingjo thank you so much for the lists some great stuff on there, will keep them safe. The baby list has me worried and confused that i dont seem to know the difference between, Sleepsuits, body suits and babygro nor when the baby should be wearing them! Oh dear roll on the antenata classes (grin)

Beeble & bella I really can relate to both what you're saying. We seem to be leaving it longer & longer between bed sessions & I'm feeling quite about that. While I love my bump, I really haven't felt attractive since getting pregnant & now bikini line looks a hairy mess & I'm just hot & sweaty constantly - why would DH want to get intimate with that?!! We only did it 1/2 a week before pregnancy, now it's an event if it's once every 3 weeks I want him but don't if that makes sense?!?

Evening ladies,

Wow, I've been exhausted these last few days - does anyone else feel like they are back at the start again only this time with a massive bump?

I'm tired like ALL THE TIME, MS back with a vengence, and soooooo moody its unbelievable. Bean doesnt stop wriggling, day and night (which I know is a good thing) and I'm now getting really scared about my elective c section. I just dont want to do it. Silly I know, as there's no other way in the world this baby is coming outd...I think I'm just scared as this time around, obviously I've already got DS, I dont want to leave him for a number of nights whilst I'm in hospital, and god forbid if anything goes wrong. I know I tell him off etc like any other mum, but I also know I'm the centre of his world, and it breaks my heart to think about how he would feel if anything happened to me. Sorry to be so morbid, I'm just sooo scared. Things are already weird for him, we're living at my parents until our house purchase has completed (more on that in a min) and he starts school in less than 3 weeks. I just feel like the worst mum in the world for putting him through all this at once.

Sorry, onto happier news, we went and looked at the new house today, met the owner, and she said she had signed the contract and sent it off! Yipee!! DH is over the moon and hasnt stopped gushing all afternoon, I'm a bit more laid back, but Im so bloody knackered, its hard to summon up much enthusiasm. The house was every bit as gorgeous and perfect for us as we remembered though :)
The lady said she is quite far behind with her own purchase, but that really doesnt bother us, we are quite happy to stay with my parents until after bean arrives. After all, they will be doing all the school runs with DS, babysitting (DH works nights) and running us all to and from hospital. It will just be so much easier, especially as if baby is very prem and has to stay in.....just have to wait and see on that I guess.

Wow, sorry for the epic post ladies, I'm almost done, but just wanted to say one more thing......Sex?? Er....what's that??!!!!

Night night!

LADIES HAVE YOU PACKED YOUR HOSPITAL BAGS???

Did that shocker get your attention? :) Reason I ask - had to go into hospital last night! Long story short, thought I was leaking amniotic fluid, I wasn't - but had mega ketones in urine, concern about GD - and this morning after repeat GTT I just failed (cut off 7.8, I was 7.9) so they are going to refer me. Still no idea what happened with the ketones, apparently I was so dehyrated it was like I hadn't drunk anything for two days but drank loads all day yesterday due to heat. Drips all night, and morning, am the human pin cushion as all my veins refused to give any blood, nightmare.

Anyway, the moral of the story is: I am usually the most disorganised person alive but thanks to imminent move I had actually washed and packed some nighties and giant post-CS pants, bought toiletries etc and was able to throw bag together in five mins flat. Went along thinking I was being ridiculous and was horrified to be kept in!

Hope you are all well and haven't all gone to FB ON Will get caught up soon, have to go and start getting stuff organised for move! x

Just popping on quickly - wilting in the heat - to give big hugs to CWest. You're tired, hormonal and emotional - I think feeling that is natural, but don't let it take over you. You will be absolutely fine, and so will your DS. Guilt is such an intrinsic part of motherhood, as I think we've all found, from the moment you get the BFP. If you weren't so tired I don't think you'd be feeling so bad. (((())))

Angelico yikes, so glad you're ok! How scary. It's a good point, even though I'm planning homebirth (assuming breech isn't an issue....) it's good to have a hospital bag packed a. in case something goes wrong and b. so that everything you need is in one place.

I'm shattered (went out last night, with friends - didn't get to bed til midnight then up at 7 with DS, plus bad night's sleep because it's TOO FECKING HOT) and TOO FECKING HOT!!!!

FECK OFF HOT WEATHER!

Planning a Home birth here too but have packed a bag anyway. I figure I will use as my labour bag wether I'm at home or hospital.

I have put a picture of my 31 week bump on my profile, is it huge?

I am having LOADS of Braxtom Hicks! Is this normal?

Angelico are you ok now? When are you moving?

23, 32+3, #2.

I've just had 4 Braxton Hicks in the last few minutes and DH's respose was "well I hear cooking dinner helps".