Due in October 2012 Part 6 - Third Trimester Trials and Tribulations

[YompingJo]

Shiny new thread!

Ready?
Steady?
Go!

And kicking off with a question for you.

Baby showers - naff or nice? I would never organise something like that for myself, because to me it just seems like saying to people "hey, come to my house and make a fuss of me, bring me presents and stuff and it will all be about me!" and that's never something I could say (partly because I would not believe that people actually wanted to bring me presents and make a fuss of me ), but 2 friends at work really, really want to organise one for me. I'm touched (and surprised ) that they want to, but equally, it's still a baby shower, with all its american, consumerist, stuff-I-normally-raise-my-eyebrows-at connotations. WWYD?

I guess the main point of a baby shower is that post-birth you're too overwhelmed to see more than one friend at a time, and when you do you're not quite so radiant as before. But in my experience nice people send stuff by post, and your best friends come round anyway to pretend to agree that DC is the most adorable baby ever who already resembles you. Never thought about a baby shower myself, but my colleagues made a fuss of me on my last day at work. I went home and cried because I couldn't imagine having an identity outside work. Ridiculous.

Congratulations on all those starting mat leave! Only eight weeks to go for me, and two of those are holiday, while another 2-4 are Olympic dates and I have a good excuse to work from home/ bed a lot. Had productive day yesterday, too, which made me feel chances of my job surviving in a company that wants 100 voluntary redundancies by September aren't too bad.

I understand it's going to be HOT HOT HOT next week, in London at least - high of 33! Time to stockpile the ice lollies... My question to you ladies is this: How crucial a part of antenatal R&R is it to go for a swim at the lido each morning on the way to work? On the one hand, it eats into working hours (I already have a DD so childcare time is rationed and anyway DH in New York all next week ). on the other, I'm sure I'm more productive after a refreshing dip. What do you reckon?

Beautiful new thread!!! Thanks Yomping, I've finished the last one so there's no double posting, etc

Marking my spot, but shall return later...

Oh and thank you so much to those who gave input on the books, I shall def invest in the Mumsnet ones next week when I get paid!

I never liked the idea of baby showers - very grateful if anyone gives me stuff, but I wouldn't want anyone invited over for that purpose. And I have tried to tell everyone I'd prefer hand-me-downs to anything new if possible. I can't quite see most of my hard-drinking lad mates being massively excited at coming over for it either... hah! Still Yomping if your mates are organising it and you fancy it, it's not like you're pressuring them so why not!

Love the idea of lido before work though, jealous. I go to a beautiful outdoor swimming pool in the gorgeous Peak District sometimes - it's only a 20 min drive but not really do-able on the way to work which is the opposite direction. And I have long hair.

Trials and Tribulations is a very ominous name for this thread! After today just one week left for me... I'm so lucky. 31 weeks now and two doctors yesterday said they had "no idea" I was pregnant when I told them I was starting mat leave shortly (!) I ordered my uniform (they're like scrubs) when I was 14 weeks pregnant so quite impressed I managed to stay in the same size for the whole job...

I'm late for work and I've stopped caring!

Yay!!! Well done Yomping ! And what a beautiful name you have given us!! Have not read the rest of last post, despite being up since 6. Daydreaming = continued sleep, yes?! Must go and have a read then get ready for work.

Hello part 6! and all round!!!

Xx

Nice one yomping- enjoy your last dat of term!!!!!
I also have the mumsnet pregnancy book and it makes me die, some of the most gruesome subjects talked about so light-heartedly. It makes me laugh so much ive read it twice!! Will definately be getting the next ones.
RE:baby showers. NAFF. I went to one last week and it was awfully boring. I am also very much like yomping in the way that i wouldnt want an entire afternoon to be about me... I also think they are very aimed at women and the fathers get left out which i dont think is paticularly fair. Im not having one and i have expressly told my mother she is not to organise one :-) plus all your non-pregnant friends get to drink and we don't :-(

i hope that good weather story is true... Its my 21st birthday next weekend...!!!

Also. Ive been up all night (hence the early post)- my cousin had her second baby this morning!!!!!! How exciting :o it made me cry when she finaaaallllyy texted me XD

bookmarking!

The Mumsnet books are fab. I'm in the Mumsnet Rules (under my old screen name).

Yomping I would not feel comfortable being the victim centre of attention at a baby shower and I don't want anymore 'stuff', I know I'm horribly un-grateful!

Elpis 33! I chose the wrong week to go to London didn't I? I live in Torquay and the one week of the year we couold actually hit the beach I'm going to a city. Oops!

It's my last day today, letting go of the childminded children has been horrible this week. One little girl dropped by yesturday with a card she'd written herself and a box of chocolates for me and I nearly burst into tears. I've looked after her for 3 years. My littlest one is going today. We are off to the zoo.

On the up, I think I've found a house! and DH got a phone call yesturday from an employment agency saying he had been put forward for an interview! They only picked 10 out of over a 100 applicants and it's for a management position with plans for training and promotion. I have everything crossed.

Have a good day. X

Morning all. Quick post to mark my place...

I agree and think baby showers are very naff and American. If friends/work colleagues want to do something I'm not going to stop them but I certainly wouldn't organise one for myself.

I've got GP appt today - spoke to work on Tues, they want to discuss workload/risk assessment face to face when I go back. Supposed to be back on Monday, but they want me to postpone return for another week as senior partner (who has generally been dealing with stuff) is on hols and doesn't want to leave it to Nnew boss (currently in 3rd week) to deal with -fine by me if it means another week before having to go back. Will only have 8 weeks to go til mat leave on my return, a still have 8 days hols left...

I've been struggling with meals for quite some time - can't way anywhere near as much as previous, plus almost every meal ends with a gaviscon chaser.

Have also been feeling the baby spasm on and off for quite some months, but wig this being my first I just presumed it was.normal so didn't bother saying anything.

Did some more organising in the nursery yesterday - put up some alphabet stickers around the room and did some rearranging/putting things away. Think I've got near enough everything sorted now...

Have got dentist this morning (just a check up) so hoping all is fine. Got GTT on Sunday to look forward to also.

Hope everyone is ok

32, 25+5 (i think - having a baby brain moment) #1

Plus, trying to write this on phone and screen does stupid things so apologies if it doesn't read well!
ment), #1

Also, (sorry, multiple posts this morning!!!!!), any advice for travelling to the olympics next saturday? Im only an hour away on the train but the less walking i have to do the less time i spend in agony when i get home... Who said it was a good idea to do this?!

hi Everybody!

I am back from our little holiday in Yorkshire and it has taken me forever to catch up. So great to be back in the world of worrying/reassurance with you all. Am struck again by what a great support you all are!

Thanks yomping for the new thread and the catchy title! And in answer to your question, I am in the same boat as you. Two friends want to organise one for me and though I agree totally that I hate the concept of enforced present buying etc, I would love to see everyone because it is so hard for me to get any time with my friends. While the attention thing is not something I am comfortable with, I am really touched that they want to go to the trouble for me as I feel I missed out on a proper hen do because my bridesmaids never got themselves organised. I have said to them that I really dont want the emphasis to be on gifts and things like that, so we are having a get together with nice food and drinks and a few silly games and the present thing has to be restricted to under a fiver-like a packet of socks or something so that it is all a bit of fun and not people feeling obliged to buy me a gift (especially as I already have DS!) Could you tell your friends that you like the idea of a pre-baby get together with your friends but could do without the fuss that comes with it?

Well done you on getting to the summer-it is a brilliant feeling. I am lucky as my school breaks up slightly earlier as it is an independant one. I saw my work colleagues last night and they have spent the week since we broken up sleeping and trying not to go into school to do work. Full time teaching is so intense, in a way that is impossible to understand if you are not doing it, and it does take a long time to unwind. I had a lush time over the summer before DS was born, getting enormous in peace!

Feels very different this time around as am so delighted to get to look after DS full time for a while, but am finding it quite hard as he is being really demanding at the moment with exhausting potty training issues (he got the hang of it and has now lost interest) and am going through a rubbish time with my family at the moment as a consequence of my Grandma's deterioration since her second stroke. DH working long hours so am on my own a lot with piles of wee soaked clothes to wash. Thinking longingly of our little holiday together and wishing we could just run away and go back! We had such a great time despite the weather and it was amazing to have help lifting DS etc. And it was so heartwarming to see how happy our boy was-a rainy caravan was his idea of heaven, he couldn't have been happier if we had gone somewhere really expensive. He just loved the puddles, mud, sand at the beach, more mud at the yorkshire show and could barely sleep with the excitement of having his very own little caravan room! Bless him. I just want to treasure this time when his mum and dad are his best friends and all he wants in the world.

It was our anniversary yesterday and we were really brave and used up DS's last paid day in nursery to have a day out just the two of us which is something we have never done before. We had such a lovely time and just enyoyed actually holding each others hand for once, eating at the same time instead of one of us doing stickers etc and getting to just carry an ordinary handbag instead of twelve pairs of clothes and a potty! For my present, I chose a load of front opening nighties and knickers for the hospital bag. V. Glam ey?? But i went through quite a few last time and my mum had to nip out and get me some more-so I would say to pack plenty when you are getting the bag organised.

Big hugs to all of you with work/moving and renovation stresses. I really feel for you all.

Woop woop for Squid finally getting to the end of the most demanding job EVER. Well done you for keeping up this far! Who is next? As I have said, I am so lucky to have a summer holiday so after that I am going to try and work as long as I can in order to be off for as long as I can afford. I am only part time so it isnt the same as you full timers. Last time I managed to work until 39 weeks but DS was 8 days late so I still got a couple of weeks to nest and prepare. I hope this one isn't too late as I got so impatient!

I have a doctors appointment on Monday because a friend told me that I could get a huge bottle of Gaviscon on prescription instead of paying £3.99 a bottle so that is good. Was also going to mention to him the ligament pain I get every time I walk anywhere, not that he will be able to do anything I suppose. It is just that I walk with DS every day and it is the only exercise I do currently. I am only 27 weeks- I can't just be static for 13+ weeks!!

Right, quite enough waffle from me. Sorry not to reply personally to more people! Will get better at name checking now that I have caught up.

Bella age 29, 27+1 weeks, EDD 18th October DC2

I'm in the baby-showers-are-naff camp... but then I refused to have a hen night.

I suddenly look pregnant this week- in the space of 2 days, I popped. I think my ab muscles were hanging on as long as possible and they've finally given up. A young lad in a tube station offered to carry my bag yesterday. Either a very sweet gesture to a pregnant lady, or just a very polite attempt to mug me. You never know in London.

Yey to the new thread!

Marking spot - will read later and opine on baby showers

Morning all, thank you for the shiny new thread yomping!

It seems the general consensus for baby showers is utter naffity naffness, and I would tend to agree. I generally dislike American culture creeping our way....but I was thrown one for DS by my bridesmaids. It was fun - we ate loads of food, drank champers (felt DS jump when the cork went pop!), and just generally caught up with a lot of my closest friends. It was a lovely day. It was slightly marred by the fact that DH sat in the local pub for the whole day with many of my friends' DPs and got utterly twatted. They all came back, drank some more, ate some of our food, trod it into the carpet and buggered off. DH then announced he'd be back in a minute to tidy up....I found him 10mins later, fully dressed, passed out spread-eagled in bed. I was NOT amused. Spent half an hour clearing up the worst of it (about 38wks pregnant with SPD, I was highly amused) and then went to bed, only to be woken at about 3am by DH chundering repeatedly and incredibly loudly in the bathroom. Enduring memories, eh

Hmm, so in conclusion - a baby shower doesn't have to be a load of American twaddle. Call it something else and do what you want if people are kind enough to want to do it for you!

I only have 9 days at work left!! I work 2 days a week, and have 3 days off in the next 2 weeks, which leaves 9! I'm really struggling to manage a full work day followed by being a patient lovely mother to DS once home I had a bit of a meltdown on Wednesday when DS refused to eat any supper at all and flung the plate of food across the room. When I'm tired I find it particularly difficult to keep my cool, and I've been feeling like a terrible mother. The Fear of 2 children with a relatively small age-gap is really setting in now!

bella sounds like you had a lovely holiday, and I can relate to wanting to go back when reality bites! how old is your DS? We have the joys of potty training ahead of us....totally dreading it!! It is so nice when you get any time with your DP alone - holding hands is so ridiculously exciting! And meals out without the craziness! If anyone had said that to me pre-DC I would've been very

Slight waaahhhh moment - my stomach is so big! Officially as big, if not bigger, than the week I gave birth to DS. I don't want to get any bigger!! Waahhhhh How can it be so different second time around??

To those who suggested changing mw to me on the last thread, I must admit I'm too chicken. What if I swap mw and then this one's at my birth? I'd feel all Chicken emoticon required.

Hmm, need a snack.

Hello, marking place! Will catch up later, flitting in here between drooling over ridiculously expensive buggy and taking parents to show renovation progress - they will not recognise the house :o And our floors after all the angst are be-yoo-tiful! :o :o :o

Teachers enjoy that end of term feeling - and commiserations to everyone else :( I've been off for 3 weeks now and I have no idea how any of you are still standing! Mind you have been pretty much full-time 'project managing' house so hasn't been the 'lady who lunches' summer I anticipated... I'm actually getting up earlier than I do when I'm at work

Laters lovely ladies :o

Bloody hell this thread moves so fast I am exhausted just thinking about catching up with it but I shall do my best:

Mickey What Olympics venue are you going too? Let me know and I will advise as best I can. I know if going to the stadium one of the stops is a huge walk - which I will be fine with there but not so fine when knackered and on the way back. We have a silly amount of tickets and kicking off with the rehearsal for the Opening Ceremony - all of a sudden very excited. Was thinking I would be too pregnant to enjoy it all but currently still comfy(ish) and up for it so should all be good.

Yomping I Agree with Crazy The word baby shower made me shudder. And I don't think I would want one. However, if people want to organise something then seems churlish not to let them. I would just not want it to be called a baby shower, or be like a baby shower but they can all pretend it is a baby shower. And for it not to last long so you don't squirm under the attention. And crazy - my bump is also huge, I don't remember being this big at 37 weeks with DD. People keep assuming that I am due soon. When I say October they look like this: and then like this . Don't be too hard on yourself. I find my tolerance levels with DD have dipped, I think they will come back up again a few months after birth. We do the best we can - I am sure you will manage just fine.

london did you check your purse was still in your bag? Only joking. I have had lots of random acts of kindness in so called unfriendly London since I have been pregnant. I have only had to shame people a couple of times And I think people smile at you more. I like it.

Bella lucky you breaking up early but I think DC's can be much harder work than actual work. For what it is worth I would give DS from potty training. If they aren't interested it can make things harder. We had the same with DD. Gave her 2 weeks off and then went back to it and we were accident free. Anyway enough of the unsolicited childcare advice. I shudder at the thought of having to face potty training again with this little fella, so I feel for you.

Kyria good that work are taking you seriously and you lucky swine to get another week off. Are you feeling better about it all though?

Elpis I vote for swimming. If it relaxes you then it is very important. sod work and family and all you are worth it I may trip down to the lido next week if this London heatwave is to believed.

Orange I feel a little choked up at the thought of a little 3 year old at your door, head bowed, offering gifts of love to say goodbye. You sound like a lovely childminder. I hope me & DD can make the staff cry when she leaves nursery not sure as some of them are hard faced ladies

Squid you are due a whole month after me so should not be jealous of you finishing work. But I am. I cant help it. I have 3 fecking months to go and can't bear it. Stressed and busy and finding it really difficult to motivate myself. Still working hard but having to force myself. And made a tit of myself in front the of the CEO by having a bit of a breakdown about my tosser of a boss. I want to be able to control myself better but have given up the fight - the hormones are winning. So stressed, busy and pissed off - not a good combo. DH says I should take time off but don't want to give in to it. --I am being a nobber aren't I?

loopy well done for tidying up the last thread - some of our OCD friends on the friend would have been all unnecessary about it not being complete. I on the other hand am I messy cow who would have just kept wondering where you had all gone too.

As we have so many renovation experts amongst you all at the moment - can I ask for opinions please.

I know some paints are bad for us but is it ok to do painting ourselves if we get nice safe(ish) paints? Want to paint a couple of rooms but not sure if I am being reckless or not? Would you do it? I would appreciate your thoughts before I decide if I should get someone in to do it.

Right working from home so should go and do some work.

midgetm be bloody careful painting - its not the fumes, it's the muscle strain. My left shoulder was out for several months after I foolishly attempted to help with DH's study!

midgetm yeah I agree that sometimes DC is harder than work. I hate work a lot of the time and hate leaving DS so trying not to be a moaner about it this way around! I love being with him so much, I just wish my hubs got in a bit earlier to give me some help in the evening. As for potty training-any advice is gratefully recieved! I just didnt want to waffle too much about in on this thread as I know it is a long way off for most of you! But I have posted on the behaviour/development section if any second timers can be bothered to read-I would be so glad of any help. We are 8 weeks in and he had got the hang of it but has now lost interest. Hard work!

crazy loved the baby shower/pissed hubs story! Bloody men! Yeah-it is so strange getting time alone with dh isn't it? We remarked on how weird it felt just being on our own loads of times during the day! It was so great to have a laugh together and remember just being us, because so much of the time we are a childcare tag team who run a house together and snatch the odd cuddle when we can! (that sounds like a bleak description of my marriage now I read it back! We are happily married honest!) My ds is 3 on the 17th Oct and my due date is the 18th! Going to be a busy month in our house! So he is well old enough for potty training. I am sure your DC won't do this weird regression we are experiencing. I certainly hope you have a more straightforward time! I can empathise about lacking in patience when you are tired. Even just playing on the floor with trains etc or building a camp is so much harder these days. I hate feeling tired all the time when I am usually so actiive. Am feeling very guilty about the amount of cbeebies we have watched this week!

Hey midget I'm feeling much more relaxed for having the time off.

I agree with your sentiment about you being a nobber for trying to not give into it all! .I git my self in a horrendous mess last year (too much stress, boss shite, taking too much on, crashing & burning, needing anti-depressants) - I have to thank the little bean this time round for making me realise it's not just me I need to think about. If I hadn't been upduffed I would have carried on pushing through and I think would have been on tablets again. Fair enough, I was too much of a nobber myself to jump ship before I got overwhelmed, but at least I recognised the signs this time and jumped before i made myself horrendously ill. I hate feeling like I'm letting people down and in the last 8 yearsi (ignoring the 4 months I've had off with stress in the last 18 months) I've only had 1 day off sick (when I literally couldn't move from the bathroom) - I think that says a fair bit about my attitude, and more importany the effect of the place I work in.

Don't let it drive you down - if you need a breather then get signed off.

I'm feeling the most relaxed that I have done for about 7 months!

32, 25+5, #1

Thanks Yomping for the new thread and hello to everyone else.
I have an American friend who has offered to organise a baby shower for me but it really isn?t my thing. If we get the house before the baby comes we will be having a BBQ anyway, and inviting everyone over as Engagement Party / Happy New Home / OMG I?m PREG type party as we?ve barely seen anyone this year. I?ve been SO shattered as a result of my yoga course and baking a baby and have been horribly antisocial as a result!
I am feeling lucky that I?ve not actually had need of gaviscon yet. Sorry to all those with heartburn.
I met up with a very pregnant friend (37 weeks) today for lunch and OH MY. Poor thing ? she?s a tiny skinny wee person normally (about 5?4 and 55kg) and has this massive bump and her back hurts and she can?t walk, can?t drive, can?t sit in a car, can?t sleep and now I have the fear of god in me about how awful the next few months could be.
YAY re finishing work, squid and can?t believe various other people are stopping soon too. I have three months left!! (GAH). However we will need every penny of the money until my flat is sold as the tenants move out in two weeks? time and then I have mortgage to pay and nothing to pay it with. Awesome. I had, of course, hoped to have sold it by now (as we put it on the market in January) but sadly it?s just not happened. Must try to keep positive.
HURRAH Angelico re house renovations. So glad it?s been worth it. We?re still in house no-mans land and my sister is moving overseas and has offered us a bunch of stuff (lawnmower, garden table etc) which is ACE as we will need them and have no money, BUT we have nowhere to put them (still in tiny flat). Fortunately one of her lovely, lovely friends has offered space in her garage. I?m feeling so touched at the loveliness and kindness of someone I?ve never met.
Mickey well done you re braving Olympics. I?d try the London transport website and go into the options and ask for least possible walking ? they?ll find you a reasonable route. Just allow lots of time and you?ll be great.

Well, I've had a funny couple of days. Yesterday was really hard, had a midwife appt in the morning and when she listened to baby with Doppler she said she could hear an irregular heartbeat with some ectopic beats (she was right, so could I). She said she thought I'd need to go to antenatal unit for monitoring, ok, fine, but then when she phoned them they said no need to do anything after a 30 second conversation. I should have felt reassured but actually it's made me really anxious, I wish they had put a monitor on, cos now I just feel worried about it. Next appt not for another 3 weeks. And then I had a really busy day at work and was on call, didn't finish till 8pm, and then woke at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep.
Today was my last day at the hospice before going on maternity leave. I'll still be doing some locum GP work a couple of days a week, but am really looking forward to having a bit of a break - doing 5 days a week of 10 hours plus has been really difficult the last couple of weeks. And I'll get to spend some time with dd over the summer as well.
Am I allowed a little tiny boast about dd? Wouldn't normally on here but feel like I "know" you all now so might be ok..... She came home today with the certificate for achievement for foundation stage. I am such a proud mummy. Made up for the 40 minute tantrum this morning when we asked her to wear the wrong school dress!
I don't think I would be over keen on baby showers either. All feels a little bit artificial. But if its just a fun afternoon eating cake and being happy with friends that sounds brilliant! So I guess it depends how its done....
I am worn out now so won't respond to everyone properly but am reading and thinking of you all, honest!

Hello all, I cannot mentally sort out who is selling/sold/moving/awaiting offers/buying. Anyway good luck with it - it sounds like mental olympics to my baby brain.

Baby showers - I'm with the rejecting American culture camp. Wasn't mentioned with my DS 2 years ago. Perhaps Ireland is a little less Americanised. I can see it being well intentioned, (I love that American positiveness) but I'd only be interested if it was a 5 quid maximum gift. Better still free - like a 'voucher' for 2 hours babysitting - the one thing I couldn't do and I really missed with DS was going for a swim. If a friend had said I'll meet you at the pool at x time, I'll take baby for a walk while you have a swim, I would have loved it. Many people have serious financial stress and I wouldn't like to add to it.

My news - I GOT A CHEQUE REFUND FROM CRECHE TODAY, the full amount minus ?20 but they did mind DS one day. It was accompanied by a letter, my DH described as self-righteous. Of course big nose here couldn't resist reading it. Thank goodness my baby brain won't be able to remember any of it. The matter is closed - learn and move on. And enjoy the dosh

I am also in the heartburn camp but it really is manageable with Gaviscon. To Cherry chopsticks if I thought I had to ration mine I would become anxious

Is anyone up yet? I'm starving and fighting the urge to eat breakfast pre-6-30 on a weekend! Went out to day one of music festival last night, straight after work so was a bit wiped out really, saw lots of bands, though am no longer in the mosh pit... and walked home a bit slowly really. Didn't see a single other pregnant girl :( Though I did see lots of people at the back with little kids so I can go next year when babysquid is 10 months old :) Got four or five mates coming up shortly to crash at mine for the main two days of it. I hope I cope with the pace...! I have monday off to sleep sleep sleep. At 25 weeks I was getting tired at work for sure but I wasn't like THIS, slow and heavy and achy! My bump is fairly neat for a shortarse I think and when I see myself in the mirror I'm happy (from straight on or behind I don't even look pregnant really)... but wow, I FEEL so different, especially when walking around, slowly and achily. Third trimester trials and tribulations indeed.

I have found this girl who paints faces for a living to come round sunday morning to paint my belly. This may be a DIRECT reaction to hanging out with my boyfriend's super-super-conservative brother and wife last weekend, she is a nice girl but basically sat around fanning herself for nine months and the baby is a year old and she doesn't go out, doesn't have any friends, and doesn't mix it with other babies. She hasn't been into town once since she gave birth 8 months ago (she lives... a hour's walk from the centre of her city). This is so mind boggling to me. Anyway they both looked at me as if I was seriously crazy for even going to a music festival 31 weeks pregnant so I figure if it's such a big deal to be pregnant at one I should at least proudly show off belly. If the painting is crap I'll just wear a long top :)

Yay for the weather, at last!