Sneeze births! We shall BROOK NO ARGUMENT about overcoming any issues in our way! (Part 11 - blimey!)

[ScrambledSmegs]

Welcome!

Ooh, Scream I'm pretty much polar opposite to you - I think those who want to gender select should not be allowed to have children, as who knows what other unreasonable expectations and complete fuckups they will subject their poor kids to? Or at least they should have some serious therapy before being allowed to ttc!

I have a friend whose parents really wanted a boy, he's the youngest after 3 girls. The girls are obviously a bit messed up because they knew their parents didn't love/want them as much as their brother, but they are all happily married with children. My friend had the weight of parental expectation on him from an early age, and being the golden boy has meant that he can't have a proper adult relationship as he rather expects to be worshiped . Thank god he's got his mates to laugh at him, and his therapist to help him realise that his parents really did him no favours . He's getting there, slowly.

Thanks for the site recommendation fluff! Looking forward to making my first cushion cover tomorrow!

I know Fluff - someone really did ask me that. I think their actual words were 'were you hoping for a girl?'

So tempting to say 'oh yes I'm soooooo disappointed with this scrumptious little baby - I've offered him on Freecycle but nobody wanted him'

Interesting qn about the pr thing. We wondered that as we used our bugaboo carry cot in the day and early evening instead of a Moses basket as it has a proper mattress etc. but because of that we bought a new mattress for it for ds2. Don't know whether that was right or wrong but it seemed sensible given the cot / crib mattress advice?

pr thing? I meant about the new mattress / SIDS thing

can someone explain the new mattress/ sids thing for moses baskets? DS never lay on his front in it and had outgrown it within 3 or 4 months. SIL has given us her mattress when she gave our basket back and so far we have not brought a new one for the pram either...

I believe Generic did her dissertation on SIDS (what a clever bean)

did you get your bugaboo mattress from bugaboo or somewhere else? You have a cameleon don't you?

I looked at the genuine bug mattresses but ended up buying a universal one from the shop that we bought our bug from. T'was less than £20 I think. But I do trust the shop I bought it from (local independent shop) as they seem to 'get' the issue about the replacement mattress.

Sorry can't help with the SIDS mattress question, very interested in the answer though! Surely it would apply to parents using the mattress for a 2nd DC, not just if you give the mattress to new parents? I'm just speculating, I have no idea.

As for the gender selection thing, ALL parents have "incorrect" habits/opinions/preferences about something. I imagine most parents screw up their kids a little, isn't that part of the job description? Why is gender selection worse than a family that chooses to have more children than they can afford? Or families that insist on specific roles for girls vs boys (even though they're equally loved) personally I find them to be far more worrying than a person who is just apprehensive about knowing how to parent a boy. The people I know who prefer a particular gender it's not normally because they hate the other gender, it's usually just fear of the unknown, or wanting to experience parenting both. I don't think they should be vilified for that.

As for the population balance, there are numerous countries where gender selection is legal, including the US, and in all cases the percentage of people actually going for it is so low that it's had no impact on the population ratio.

I hope I'm not coming across as dismissive of anyone else's view. I respect and understand why you would have concerns about a person who is completely unwilling to love a child of the "wrong" gender. I'm just expressing my personal views on the matter, and not trying to browbeat anyone into agreeing.

Now someone mentioned we have an exciting week coming up! Apart from the imminent pain-free arrival of Ninja's DD (yay!) what else is on its way? Sorry, would someone mind summarising for me please?

I think a lot of the mattress thing is just because they're often foam and mould to baby's shape and have a 'shelf life'. One theory was that mattresses get puked on, and some babies who'd died of SIDS has the same bacteria as found in the mattress in their lungs, thus yes, its a new mattress for every baby same parents or not. I'm not sure if it was diaproven though, or a bit of a tenuous link?? I thought there was a ? over it. Mine have all been on new mattresses and my pushchairs are second hand but my cosy toes are washed or new.

New Moses basket mattress bought and have found somewhere for bugaboo foam pad online. For the sake of 25 quid in total its not worth the worry.

I don't know yet what we are having but my entire life I have always assumed I would have a girl because my famiy is so female top heavy. I think because of this the idea of maybe having a boy is a bit 'erm what do I do with him?!' On the other hand my mum imagined having a few boys and she got just me so anything is possible.

Hope everything goes well for you Ninja and everyone else has a good week.

cakes I was the same but I couldn't imagine what to do with a girl! So it's funny to have ended up with 2 boys. Only thing I find strange is the girls name going unused. :)

I had a health visitor tell me what a good job it was I'd had another boy with DS3 as no doubt I wouldn't know what to do with a girl.

She got rather short shrift.

(I stepped away from AIBU when it got to 500. It all got rather nasty)

I keep getting stabbing pains in one side of my tummy :( I'm hoping its wind and not a pulled muscle from carrying too much diet caffeine free coke home from the corner shop, where it was on offer

I've no idea about the science behind the SIDS, but I had thought it was new mattress for a new baby, no hand-me-downs full stop.

I bought some new bedroom furniture so we could move DHs clothes the stuff in the spare room into our room, thus making it all baby's stuff. But now I'm not sure where to put the moses basket or cot because suddenly there's a chest of drawers there. Nuffing's ever simple, is it?

700-something now whims I think you should get a prize if it makes it to 1000!

Oh dear & I had no idea regarding new/old mattresses (partly as we co-slept for quite a while so DS's own bed wasn't in my mind). DS didn't have anything new for ages, not a pram, moses basket, nowt... Even the stretchy sling that we both lived in from day 1 (quite literally) was bought second-hand, though I did wash it I'm not that awful. A couple of later slings were new though he was well past 6 months by then. Oh dear, how awful of me. I feel like a very bad mother. I will endeavour to improve life for DC2's early days. We will have to get a decent cot-bed as the one DS was in was about 4th-hand and really has seen better days. I'm also going to get a new cocoon for the PnT buggy. Whims - did you use this indoors like a Moses Basket; could I add a MB mattress, new of course?

Lots of shock re' crass comments made about twins and DS2s. People really aren't subtle are they?

Fluff - I hope the stabbing pains go. Is it a stitch?

A little bit of extra excitement here Scream, though minor compared to Ninja's big day - 12wk scan for the Tocks on Tuesday morning. We shall take DS and it will be the first time we 'tell' him, not that we've hidden it but we just haven't made it official and this is his chance to see that there's a baby in mummy's tummy and try to make sense of it all, as much as a 2yo can. Look forward to hearing anecdotes re' this from everyone who's had 2+ DCs... I'm pretending to play it cool but am really a bit edgy, inevitably. I'm telling myself to stay +.

Ahhhh-Choooo Ninja!

Watching football. Yawn.

Ooooo No Brooking for your scan Tock! What an exciting day for all of you, especially your DS!! I'll be tuning in on Tues to hear all about it!

Wondering if any of you can help explain the mysteries of reuseable nappies to dh and me. We've all of a sudden decided we might consider using reuseable nappies having resigned ourself to the uneconomical unenvironmentally friendly disposable nappies but we haven't a clue. We've seen a bit about flushable liners which sound like a good idea as long as they are ok in a septic tank and don't push cost up too much. We also want to avoid the double wash nappies that i've seen listed on the internet. We're realistic about initial cost but really want to keep financial and environmental cost down. Also there is the obvious comfort need of our child. Please Help!

Brooking for tock's scan tomorrow, yay, that has come round quickly, not for you I am sure!

We had a lovely weekend at the inlaws, they have offered to buy us a pram which is lovely, everyone excited etc.
I just ignore those gender threads I must admit, I jsut don;t get it, it always seems to be boys people are disappointed with as well, poor boys, I don;t get how people can't udnerstand that if they have a healthy baby they are the luckiest people in the world!

On the mattress point I also read it was due to bacteria that had been linked to SIDS, I am feeling a bit funny about 2nd hand stuff, I want everything all shiny and new

cakes I know nothing about reusables but if you pop over to the post natal thread I'm pretty sure there are a few of the brookers on there using them or certainly have done in the past.
tock best of luck for tomorrow, 12 weeks has come round fast. And how exciting to take your ds. We took our ds to ours (along with some mini eggs as a bribe to sit still), I'm not entirely sure he completely understood what was going on but I do know he was really happy to be shown the baby, even if it was a bit blurry!
Do you have any idea what pram you want far? Have you been to look at any yet? I happened to be in John Lewis yesterday and it was full of bewildered looking parents to be trying to put them up, take them down and every now and then you'd walk past and hear 'ooh its very light/ maneuverable' it did make me and be glad I don't have to do it again!
Not much going on here today. Just a bit of tidying, and chilling out. I need to do another online shop but when I did last time I was due, my poor mum had to rush over to welcome the delivery man as were in hospital! Maybe I'll just make sure I've got the car tomorrow.....

Maybe if your waters go in Sainsbo's you'll get your shop free, ninja :o

I'm exactly the same far - there was even an ex-demo pram in a m&p outlet but I wanted a new one in the right colour

Good luck tomorrow tock!
I think 2nd hand slings etc are fine as you can wash them? You can reuse bedding/clothing etc so i don't see why not, anyway!

I love washable nappies. Can't talk now, but I'll be back later to talk nappies and Phil n Ted cocoons.

OMG we have just had an offer on our flat! And its only 5% under the asking price! Time to make an offer on the lovely house we've seen......wish me luck!

Go Ninja maybe the excitement will start you off