Due in October 2012 - Part 5

[Kyyria]

Just starting us off on a new thread

Yomping, my husband is an engineer and loves to buy expensive equipment only to take it apart and rebuild it. So I bought him some lego and a train set- honestly, it kept him really happy for weeks.
Also re. hypnobirthing, my stance is... worth trying the relaxation, and reading up on, but not worth paying for a course.
Congrats cwest! Sound like standard letter talk to me too, so I wouldn't over analyse that.

And here is a link to that home study programme: www.tums2mums.com/index_files/Hypno4BirthHomeStudyProgramme.htm

Thanks lisbeth for the reply, I'll keep wrestling with pillows to find a comfy spot!

Anyone else just HOT? It's not even warm really, just mild but 10 minutes of walking and I'm sweating buckets. It's disgusting. And yesterday I had a hot flush in the middle of a meeting that came out of nowhere I've been asked to do a small presentation tomorrow but now worried I'll just be standing up in front of people and sweating grossly

I'm feeling down, grumpy & exhausted Moan, moan, moan....

Loopy it's not just you. Before I got preg used to constantly be cold, cold hands and feet and snuggling up with a blanket on the sofa - all I have to do now is walk upstairs and I'm sweating like anything!

Must admit I wasn't the fittest person before being upduffed but at least I could walk without getting out of breath! Have done some gardening this morning - usually manage to do a full day but today have managed 1 hour, legs and arse seized up, bump now starting to impede bending...thought I was going to get stuck! Am now absolutely knackered!

Thanks for all the welcomes!

How are you all today? I'm good, just starving - it's the end of the day here, I just got back from work and am naughtily snacking whilst preparing dinner.

DameFlatYouLent, Japan is great and I would definitely recommend a a visit, but I've been here a few years now and for me, the novelty is starting to wear off. But still, it never fails to surprise me, everything is so different here.

Ayeasha, nice to meet you! Sounds like we have a few things in common. If you said you lived in Japan, that would be perfect! I think the bump that I do have is quite high up, so that's why I can still fit into my everyday jeans. I doubt it'll last much longer with the amount of food I've been eating.

Squidkid, congratulations on entering the third trimester! I'm very jealous, I feel like once I get there, I finally won't feel like such a fraud.

CWest, I hope the scan goes well, it must be worrying but I'm sure everything will be fine.

Today, the mum of one of the kids I teach gave me a bag of post natal corset support girdle things! It was my first hand-me-down baby gift, I'd been expecting more along the lines of baby clothes. Apparently, a lot of Asian cultures strap themselves up after birth, it's supposed to help with the healing and getting back into shape. It makes sense to me, and all the Japanese mothers I've seen have completely flat stomachs, so I think I'm going to give it a try. What do you think?

It's also quite common to wear a support during pregnancy too. One of the reasons is to keep the bump warm, which they have a strange obsession with. But another reason is so that things don't get too stretched or put under too much strain. I'm going to try this too, but I don't know how long it'll last as it's regularly over 30 degrees and very humid here in Summer, so I feel absolutely no need to keep any warmer!

Well, I've gone from not posting at all to writing epics. I guess I've been keeping it all in for too long, sorry...

Cherrychopsticks, 31 (just - another Gemini), 23 weeks (today), 1st DC.

Ooh cherrychopsticks, I am really fascinated in the cultural differences in approaches to pregnancy. Have you got any more? Keeping the bump warm? I thought it kept itself warm! I like Loopy am just too bloody HOT all the time- and I've always been a cold person.
I have heard of body binding, but I think there is an argument that it will lead to your abdominal muscles not being used so much in posture etc.

Lisbeth I will trade you one biting toddler for one 6 six year old with teenage attitude? . FWIW, the creche worker sounds highly unprofessional. Anyone working with kids should know how to cope with behaviour as common as biting. If I expelled every child who miss behaved I'd go out of business!

Cherrychopsticks at having to keep your bump warm, I think our bodies know how to incubate a baby, it's what we are designed for. However, I am liking the sound of sound tummy support, when I walk I feel like my insides are about to drop out and my muscles ache.

Infact, all my joints ache today. I have a headache and backache. I'm anemic and keep waking up dehydrated, like I have a really bad hangover. I'm an exhuasted, hormonal, grumpy mess. Counting down the days until I finish work now. I feel like I'm coming down with the flu.

23yrs, 25+6, #2.

Saw MW yesterday. All was mostly well, inc my BP and the baby's heartbeat but she measured my bump and is concerned it's almost off the chart as to the range it should be in - around a 36-weeker . I'm hopefully getting another scan in the next week or two to see what's going on - if my bloody fibroids have gone 'giant' already and what that may mean.

Also think I left another of my interesting bloody annoying symptoms off my earlier list; hot flushes! Grrr! Spending half my life in front of a fan! (LoopyLa - you are not alone!) The interweb says they last anything from a few seconds to 5 minutes but usually takes me an hour to cool down enough to feel 'normal'. I think my hormones are still surging about some days despite my 'babycenter' calendar telling me they should be 'calming down' by now. Joy.

Welcome cherrychopsticks & Ayeasha . Cherrychopsticks - nice to see another expat on the board! I'm living in Norway. It's been a lifeline to talk to other english-speaking expectant mums on here! :)

CWest - can relate to the moving house stress. We're in a not dissimilar position and have had to come to terms with the fact that we will somehow have to cope with bringing baby home to our tiny 1.5 bedroom basement flat until the purchase of new house is all sorted. It's currently full of boxes, no room to swing a cat, DSCs occupy the .5 room together and there's barely room for a Moses basket in DP & my room (and we don't want to co-sleep). Still, we're making the best of it and keep trying to think how much worse things are for so many people. Congrats on your little girl!

LondonMrsS - I think I'm in the same camp re not worrying about labour but worrying about breast-feeding. I'm paranoid I won't be able to do it. I'm trying not to beat myself up in advance since one of my 'already mummy' fellow expat chums here tried and failed as she couldn't stop her nipples from bleeding and it hurt her SO much. Her little boy has been on formula a long time and is very intelligent and in rude health. Was also reminded by MW that if I don't book into ante-natal classes v soon I may miss the boat. There's only 2 options here in Stavanger for English-speaking ones and they're pricey, but highly recommended. I may have already missed the boat to keen pregnant expats who haven't even got here yet but have teams of relocators to sort their shit for them (note to self- must pull finger out...).

Lisbeth - thanks for the info on inverted nipples & breast-feeding. Must say I paled at the thought of syringe and needle . Sorry to hear about your DS's creche woes. They don't sound like they're handling it very well & I'd be inclined to think your instincts may be right re the real reasoning. I hope you manage to work something out for him.

Fjord and Loopy - another situation I'm struggling with is cooking. I'm in the middle of making spag bol and have now opened all doors and windows as I have got sweat dripping off me....cooking never used to be this horrendous! I find it takes a good 45mins to cool down to normal too.

My bump seems to also have made an appearance this evening - swear I am about 5 times bigger than I was this morning!

Keep smiling ladies - it'll all be worth it

32, 23+2, #1 - due 28th Oct

DameFlat - sorry to hear you're also not getting a 'proper' holiday. I'm trying to think positively and find as many fun 'staycation' activities here that won't cost an arm and a leg as I can. I'm taking it as a challenge .

I'm with Yomping on the interest in hypo-birthing. I've heard enough recent evidence to be convinced that anything that lessens anxiety about the process of labour will only help things along positively. I was hoping for some way of reading up on techniques and just trying them out in labour rather than being full on 'hypnotised'. Any reading matter that doesn't cost much that anyone knows about please send reccs my way! Also - is there a definitive definition of when the 3rd trimester starts or can we just call it as we feel it 27-29? :)

I'm also in the 'have nearly bought all of the 'furniture/kit'' camp (or at least ordered/selected it/worked out how it's going to be paid for ;-)) but for some reason still got some subconscious spook about buying ANY clothes. Is that weird?

Better go and lie on the sofa now as DSD2 is eagerly awaiting LO's nightly belly show as she doesn't believe you can actually see her moving my belly .

On the downside, am pretty sure DSD1 is developing anorexia but am going to check out an eating disorders board on here and see what those who have been there think.

Crosspost Kyrria - I hear you on the cooking. I just move the fan around the flat and stand it in the kitchen. I could not cope otherwise! Congrats on your emerging bump btw! :)

Hello all! 2 days absence = lots of reading! However feeling of zonkedness= inability to respond to all!!! Glad to read good news, sympathetic to tricky stuff and feeling weird! Bought a breast pump yesterday ( !!! ) as have been reading that even if having trouble latching on can usually still express! Hope not a waste of money!!! Avent elec one on offer from Mothercare from 95 to 65 odds. MW apt yest and all good!! Baba measuring exactly 25 wks and nice strong heart beat!! Lovely!
Hope all well and hello to all newbies!! (waves!)
34, 25+3 first baba

Evening!

huffle I think a breastpump is a good plan. If you end up not using it this time, you might next (?!), or if not they usually have a decent re-sale value. I used mine loads, having not really expected to or figured out why/when I might.

Fjord hope DSD1 is ok God that must be hard. Re flat nips, my left boob has a flat nipple and the right doesn't. I'm lopsided, me . DS definitely preferred my right boob as a result to begin with, but that led to my right side being like a frigging fire hydrant when feeding, with bigger supply. So in the end he preferred my left. I found, in the early days, it worked just to pinch it out (reasonably aggressively) then immediately plonk DS on as quickly as poss. You'll figure it out I'm sure!

IME breastfeeding is flipping tough but well worth it. Having said that, I've known plenty of people who found it a doddle (bar initial ishoos). I know very few people (one, maybe?) who experienced absolutely no pain.

Cherry I have a friend who swears by massive scary control corsetty pants after birth, and she is well skinny with a v flat tum. There must be something to it, especially if your abdominal muscles have separated a lot whilst pg. Mine did a bit last time, which can worsen postpartum SPD (lucky me). But I suppose it's also important to do exercises to strengthen your core at the same time - maybe holding everything together makes those exercises safer?

Loopy & everyone else who's hot, I seem to run about half a degree hotter when pg. I think the amniotic fluid is higher than normal body temp, which is possibly why? Last week when we had those hot couple of days I nearly DIED in my non-air-conditioned hospital (it was about 28deg inside) and heavy polyester uniform. I actually cried when I got home.

Yomping my DH has an expensive hobby. He did have 2, but has (temporarily, apparently ) given up one since having DS. The way we manage our finances allows him to spend as much as he can afford on his hobby without it affecting our household income. You may find that things change after DC is born in a sort of natural way? Maybe! Men are, after all, men...

CWest hope the next scan really is just a formality. That liine in the letter does sound totally standard, and like the kind of thing they'd write to try to make you feel better - try to reassure you that someone will communicate properly with you! Fingers & toes crossed for you.

lisbeth did you indulge in any car keying? Hope things are ok. I think they're being totally unreasonable - although I'd love to expel DS when he bites me Although he bites himself more often...special child that he is!

Wow this is a bit epic. I'm going to start heading to bed - work tomorrow!

Oh and yomping, really chuckling about the idea of your tummy bouncing like a third boob

Another possibility for those interested in hypnobirthing or as I prefer to call it 'Having a totally relaxed and confident attitude towards something which we have evolved perfectly to do', I read a really good review of this set of CDs: www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/NatalHypnotherapyprogramme.html in one of the broadsheets this week. I have purchased, so will give you all my review once I've had a good listen.

Re. Breastfeeding purchases, I found this complete set in Mothercare: www.mothercare.com/Philips-Avent-Breastfeeding-Set---Exclusive-to-Mothercare/409264,default,pd.html?cm_sp=ProductFeatures--Category%2520landing--Philips%2520Avent%2520Breastfeeding%2520Set%2520-%2520Exclusive%2520to%2520Mothercare. It's possibly better for first timers, but seems a really good price for everything it contains. I got it already and like to take a look at all the stuff in there to get my head around it all. I can't remember who it was on here who pointed out how strange it is that we have to 'get our heads around' it- even though we're mammals, but it's so true.

Thanks to all for the reassurance re this fetal heart scan I have on Thursday. Sure all will be fine :-)

fjordmor re the moving house thingy, I don't know if I mentioned this but the sale of our flat is currently going ahead. We are selling back to the local council who require vacant possesion. We had put an offer in on a 3 bed house, but the results from the survey have been so worrying, we are 95% certain we are going to pull out. Luckily my parents have said we can move in with them until we find somewhere. Ok its not ideal and its a lot for DS to deal with, in the next 3 months, he will move out of his home, start school, AND get a new baby sister. I'm finding I'm being really lenient with him and letting a lot of things go as I do feel guilty about putting him through this all at once, but on the plus side he is getting loads of love and cuddled which can only be a good thing.

Found out today that even tho my Jon is a fixed term contract and was due to end in January, I WILL be getting SMP from my employer. Really shocked as I started the job the day after I found out I was pregnant! Another load off my mind. :)
The only thing I am finding confusing today is how can we go from feeling no movements at all, to VERY active punches and kicks in a matter of days?! She's barely stopped these last couple of days!!! Love it tho, it def makes up for feeling tired and shitty the rest of the time. Just keep reminding myself that a couple of active days may result in some quieter days to follow. MUST. NOT. PANIC.
LOL hope everyone is well and happy with wriggly bumps! X

Thanks londonmrss ! Think that is even better value than one I bought!! Hav got a set of Avent bottles half price in Argos, will take proper think tmrw and see if worthwhile ordering set and returning first one. Not sure how many bottles got in Argos but doubtless need lots!! 65 vs 89 with extras and if spend 100 get 20% off. Assuming Mothercare will refund first one, will phone them!!
Thanks x

Hi everyone waves

I?m interested in the hypnobirthing stuff (love your description LondonMrs). I?ve thought about it as I?m in the camp that says more preparation = good (even if it doesn?t work on the day and like Beccus I?ll be shouting for epidural before long). I?ve seen some cds on amazon which I had been considering but the tums2mums stuff looks interesting and not hideously priced.

I?ve not had the waves of heat but I have waves of UGH I?m gonna faint if I don?t EAT NOW.

Hi Cherry and Ayesha. Cherry am not sure about binding the tum ? seems that maybe your stomach would rely on it rather than developing your stomach muscles again? Not sure ? as you say, if it works for the Japanese, then hey, might be worth looking at something new!

LondonMrs I wouldn?t worry too much re antenatal classes. I think all the information is available elsewhere, and you have the mine of information that is mumsnet. I signed up for them primarily cos we are (hopefully) moving to a new area where we don?t know anyone and my sisters live abroad and need some friends! I?m sure you?ve already got buddies so probably don?t need the classes in the same way that I do.

Cwest congrats on pink bean and sure the letter is just a standard bit of wording. My bump is often v.quiet. I try not to worry but tis hard not to!

squid sorry you?re still having mad days. And in awe of your 9 mile hike!

Well I?m in awe of Kyrria?s organisation and in fact anyone who?s actually bought anything for the baby. We are in a 2 bed flat with 7 bicycles so feel your pain, Fjordmor. The bedroom is too small for a cot so it?d be moses basket on the chest of drawers. The thought of being here with baby and with MIL (who?s coming for a month over xmas) makes me want to cry. We are hoping to move before pepe comes but tis dependent on selling our flats which seems to be incredibly difficult. Lots of very flaky buyers. I?m on buyer no 3 and DF is on buyer No 4!! Hoping for some good news soon but as you say, there are many folk who are worse off and we have each other so tis that?s great.

Had a pretty disappointing discussion with my boss today about my maternity cover. We had an intern / exec for a year who was pretty good (for a 24 year old) and he?s now gone off to work for a competitor abroad for six months. My boss is planning to get this guy to replace me. I have 12 years industry-specific experience. He has one. Worse, said 24 year old can?t start until end October, by which point I?ll be on maternity leave so there will be no handover period. Even worse, we?re leaving the client to man the most important trade fair of the year alone. Normally I spend 8 hours each day standing and selling, and don?t usually even get to pee til about 3pm. I?m definitely NOT doing that at 9 months preg. I know it?s not my problem, nor is any outcome a reflection on me or my ability, but it?s hard not to feel deeply undervalued and unappreciated. I feel that this is fobbing off our clients. Sigh.

sorry for the essay.

Lisbeth, I always thought that biting at this age ws actually quite a normal thing to do, certainly a bit shocked at them reacting the way they have. Like the revenge ideas....
Cwest, really pleased you'll be getting smp, that's fab. It all helps doesn't it?
On the hotness front, i really struggle at night. I'm not hot all over but my hands and feet get really warm and uncomfortable, and I'm the sort of person who likes snuggling up under blankets usually, makes me a bit grumpy to be too hot.
Probably lots more to reply to so sorry to anyone I've ignored, but brain not working and a bit knackered so am off to bed.
Sleep well all!

Just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for those experiencing job-related problems - current workload, maternity leave issues, maternity cover issues, possible maternity pay worries, family-related problems (biting or ill children), or house-moving-related problems.

Although I have found/am finding pregnancy physically and mentally hard, I am beginning to see how lucky I am to work in education where maternity leave and cover is very common and never an issue, and the standard work hours are set and controlled and extra time is my choice. I have bitched and moaned in the past about the conditions of my job, the pay and public perception vs responsibility and work hours and the fact that if this were the private sector things would be a lot different, and don't get me started on the whole change in pensions... but I am honestly so very grateful for the fact that pregnancy and maternity leave/pay is in no way an issue.

I am really, really stunned at the difficulties some people on here are facing from nobber bosses who seem to need their heads extracting from their arses, employers who don't seem to appreciate the need for someone who is approaching 30 weeks pregnant to slow down, and someone on another thread whose DH is having real trouble getting his boss to give him any paternity leave as the baby is now 2 weeks overdue. I can't imagine having to cope with those sorts of problems as well as being pregnant - and moving/selling houses too, as some of you are doing, or living in a different country, or just doing all this whilst already taking care of one or more small people.

It is very sobering and I am thinking of you all and trying to complain a bit less about my own life as a result. I can see that I have it remarkably easy currently compared to a lot of people and I feel very humble about that. Have a good day, all you lovely, strong, impressive people, I am in awe of how you cope with it all without falling to pieces and still manage to laugh about things and give sympathy and support to others. You are all quite an inspiration!

Ah, Yomping, you are lovely.

Livvy, that's a shame about your maternity cover. I feel under-valued simply by the fact that my company is only giving me the bare minimum pay. But I guess we'll have more important things to think about when the time comes! You sound like you really care about your job and your clients- they're idiots if they don't appreciate that.

Another note about hypno-stuff. The Tums2Mums stuff is nice, with really lovely music- but the lady who does the voiceover makes quite a few gramatical errors in her speeches. I know that sounds really pedantic; but when you're trying to relax and suddenly think 'I can't BELIEVE she phrased it like that' it can be counter-productive.

I'm a bit of a grammar-nazi though- if that stuff doesn't bother you, I'm sure you'll like it.

Have a lovely Wednesday everyone.

Aww yomping, that was so nice. I love that you can still make us all laugh when we've had a bad day.
londonmrss have got really hilarious images in my head RE being a grammar nazi...:o Reminds me of an evil teacher i had at school... She fell down a garage pit and broke her ankle!! :o
Well my little one is going crazy today, i think im brewing a kickboxer in here... I would say footballer but footballers are pansies ;-)
right i should get out of bed really- off to see my grandad in the new (and really quite lovely) home he is in. Love to you all!!!

Happy Hump Day everyone, hope you're having a good one!

I'm feeling for you all in the heat, luckily most places here have air con so I can't really complain.

I had a good day today, shopping and lunch with the MIL in the morning before work in the afternoon. It's not something we've done before without DH as my Japanese leaves a lot to be desired and her English is non-existent, but it went quite well, I think.

Interesting to hear the views on before/after belly support. I think what it'll boil down to is whether or not I can actually be arsed!

Londonmrs, I can't think of many cultural differences at the moment (always go blank under pressure!), but there are bound to be loads so I'll certainly keep you posted as they arise. Or when my brain starts to function.

One thing that fascinates me is that pregnant women usually go back to their hometowns to give birth and often stay there for a month or more after the birth. They do this so their mums can take care of them as the women should do absolutely nothing except rest and feed the new baby for a whole month. They barely leave the house, no cooking, no cleaning, nothing. In some ways it sounds good, but I'd go stir crazy, staying in that long, and I certainly couldn't live with my mother for more than a couple of days. Also, it often means the father doesn't see the baby (except possibly at weekends) for the first month or so. Not everyone does this nowadays, but is still definitely the norm.

Wantanorange, sorry to hear you're not feeling great, feel better soon! I got my support thing today. It's just a slightly more structured, glorified bump band really. Will let you know how it goes.

Fjordmor, looking forward to hearing more of your expat pregnancy experiences. My most "interesting" so far was my first dating scan. I won't go into details, but it was a surprise internal and involved an automatic chair!

Yompingjo, what a nice post! I'm also feeling very lucky and appreciative of my pregnancy lot at the moment, but usually I'm a chronic moaner. Must be some good hormones...

Oops, another long one from me. It's becoming a habit.

31yrs, 23+1, #1

Hello all! Hello Cherrychopsticks ! Had a double take there at your 'surprise' internal scan!!!! Think I might hav leaped off the chair and ran!!! Amused too at the traditional lying in period post birth, so nice!! Cannot imagine doing it but seems like a lovely old fashioned thing!! Says a lot tho that dads don't see baba, seeing as my hubby will be stay at home dad that just seems mad!!! I took some Japanese classes at school and never ceased to be enthralled by customs, life can be so different!!!

Managed myself a sneaky quarter day off today (big wow!) and have been delightfully lazing, such a treat!! Baba has been kicking and squirming whole time!! Makes me a bit sad that is probably usually moving and I am so bloody busy I am unable to keep up and feel it

Managed to book antenatal classes today in birthing hospital (all my antenatal care in a different one) for 4 weeks from mid August. Woohoo!! That will be interesting!!

And thank you again Londonmrss , ordered that Avent pump set from Mothercare, grumpy man in shop said ok to return 1st.

34, 25+4, dc 1

Cherry I read your last greeting as 'Happy Dump Day'!
I was absolutely delighted with that!