Due in October 2012 - Part 5

[Kyyria]

Just starting us off on a new thread

We are all total nobbers.

Kyria I am delighted for you. Now enjoy your 4 weeks and don't entertain the guilt demons - they are sneakey feckers.

I can't help myself I have to offer unsolicited advice. An assertive tip that I find very helpful is when you are asked something, like to please change your AL day, answer 'let me think about it'. I've done it and received the huffy response 'oh don't bother if it's THAT much trouble'. However, everybody has the right to say 'no' if asked a question/favour, and asking for a brief time to consider the request is not being unreasonable.
This time next year - assuming you haven't won the lottery - you will be juggling a job and a baby and a relationship with your partner. You need to develop some skills to look after you.

Welcome all newbies this is a great place for our 'kind'.

Anyone want a maternity swimming costume size 10? Brand new with tags, free to good home, red and white stripes. Basically I ordered it from Matalan online in my size and they sent the size 10 which would fit one of my cankles. Never got round to returning it as intended so it is sitting there going to waste. Obviously would like it to go to whoever will use it!

Have been meaning to offer for a while and kept forgetting, doing a bit of a purge of clothes etc here. PM me your address and I'll fire it in the post :)

Hi nobbers

Kyrria sorry your morning was so shit but glad the GP was understanding and yeah, collapsing for 4 weeks sounds like a pretty good idea to me! enjoy, enjoy. They have been treating you terribly.

londonlivvy don't say that, normal births aren't rare! I am not sure of figures though. Of course it is worth being informed beforehand, but I really believe a positive attitude is a very useful thing in birth, and interventions are higher than they necessarily have to be because of stress and fear and panic. I know Angelico said previously she read a very encouraging book about sections and I think that's great too.

I had an easier day at work and thanks for your support all of you. I am going to leave at 4 this week and see if that helps. It turned my hour and a bit commute into a 30 minute commute, I came home and had a sleep before tea. Was nice. Staffing is better this week. Somewhat unbelievably, I only have 21 days left to work.

Had a nice weekend with friends too so that helped.

Is anyone else being irrational and annoying about putting on weight? I grew a bump quite late (20+ weeks) and now I am constantly plagued by feelings of being too large and getting fat. Boyfriend is lovely and insists I am "all bump" but I seem to need him to tell me this all the time. I feel clumsy and ridiculous in bed (though I actually like my body naked more than clothed right now). I am short and curvy and kind of relied on having a little waist between big tits and big hips before, now I just feel like a ball! I envy tall apple shaped pregnant women who remain the same essential shape - I have no idea how to dress my figure any more! I do ridiculous things like going into shops to try on clothes which I have no intention of buying to see if I am really still fitting into the same size (I am, other than elasticated waists). Ironically I had really great body image when I was younger and a little bit overweight (size 14/16 or so) but I did a very very slow weight loss (for health reasons) over many years and have been a very healthy size 8/10 for about 4 years now... and have always been a little insecure about my body since! Stupid how that works... I guess I have also been plagued by a fear that I could put it all back on really easily. Now I am inevitably getting larger and I guess I feel like... I wonder if it will take 5 years to lose it all again. Rationally this is nonsense because I eat super healthy and am really active and it should come off ok, and ANYWAY it's not important is it!

I know this is really unimportant and dull and vain and I wish my head would shut up about it.

Sorry for ramblings, am trying to finish portfolio for the year so I am allowed to continue being a doctor, most boring thing ever, need distractions

I'm 27 weeks tomorrow by the way! last week of second trimester! so I'm allowed to look like a ball dammit

(I WAS due in October originally honest! - they changed my dates. Bet I don't have the first baby though )

Kyria, well done you! What a good outcome for you and your bean. Hi Loxy! londonmrs, your shopping incident did make me smile. yomping, i think we've cracked the pictures. Oh, katla and angelico, that breathless thing after eating is nasty! I have to remember i just can't keep munching away like i used to... at my hospital, i think all 1st time mummies need the GTT....makes me think of G&T....if only :) Hope your day got better, dame

Angelicio I'd love the swimsuit - really need one but I may be slow off the mark. Will PM you, may be too big for my midgetness though (ever expanding midgetness)

SQuid I am a total Nobber about my weight gain. I laughed when I read your message as I was just paranoidly asking DH to concur with me how mine well very well be normal (reading out stats to him) and working out my likely total weight gain. Even though it looks like I will be at the lower end of normal weight gain IFi I carry on as is, I can't help worrying about it. If it is too much, how easy it will be to shift it, If all my lovely clothes will fit again blah blah blah. We need to relax. Weight gain in normal, but so is being freaked out by our changing shape. I am also much happier naked now but it is not a good look for senior management. I wore a shapeless dress to work in the week and it made me want to cry. I looked like an oompa loompa. Last time I was pregnant I ate what the hell I liked, this time I am determined to be much healthier but not be a Nobber about weight gain... Difficult balance, but we will get there.

Thanks, angelico & Beccus! It did get a bit better, but I ended up in a playground with DS with a very full bladder, and had a serious attack of hayfever. After the 8th sneeze in a row my pelvic floor gave up on me and a little bit of wee came out Hardly any, but still!! Eeeeeep. And squeeeze....

angelico thank you for the swimming costume offer but there's no way I'm a size 10 any more! Looks lovely.

Gawd I need to go to bed.

Found some birth intervention stats <a class="break-all" href="http://www.birthchoiceuk.com/BirthChoiceUKFrame.htm?www.birthchoiceuk.com/ChildbirthInterventionTables.htm" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here although can't confirm how reliable and unbiased they are. But the book was great - great for me because I know I'm having a CS and it was very positive but also great if you want to avoid interventions, tells you things you can do to increase odds of totally natural birth :) There's also a chapter for 'birth partners' and DH read it last night and found it useful. Also MW today gave us a sheet about getting the beans into a favourable position for VB - just things you can do to help them move right way round after 35 weeks. If anyone wants it I can scan it in although you will probably get similar thing at your AN class.

Midget you are the first taker so if you think it will fit it is all yours :) It isn't petite fit or anything though - don't know if you normally wear petite fit? If you want it just PM me :)

Squid / Midget - on weight gain thing, I was overweight to start with so wasn't especially vain about the whole thing - full of good intentions when I'm off work for a year as eating rubbish on the run is 90% of my problem. BUT - even I have been a bit by my bump the last couple of days. I suppose I am nearly six months now and people do say 'X looks six months pregnant' being horrible about people's weight - but now I know why!

25+3, will probably have section 14 weeks today!

Can you tell I am supposed to be cleaning for PIL visiting? Which is obviously why I keep drifting back to MN... :o

Hi ladies

How is everyone feeling? I seem to be getting bigger by the day! And starting to feel pregnant. I'm now sitting there at work with hot water bottle on my back, back support and leg support. LolL feel like a fat cow TBH

I'm also feeling my baby move a lot now. I actually saw my belly move for the first time in the bath the other day which was lovely, forgot how that felt! My oh hasn't felt her yet though, every time he puts his hand there she stops, little minx!

I've just ordered some bottles, steriliser, Muslims and changing mat! Felt really nice, the mat has little princess on!!!
Thanks for the welcome!!

Anyone else brought anything yet?

Hey nobbers, thanks for your support re. shopping nobberation.
Just got some lovely news! My best mate has been trying to have a baby for ages and due to various fertility problems was told it was very very improbable... She's 6 weeks preggo! I burst into tears of excitement when I found out, didn't even react like that for my own pregnancy.
Re. weight gain, I'm looking pretty chubby right now- was a size 12 before and my waist has completely disappeared. Strangely I'm not that bothered though- my weight bothered me before pregnancy, but not really now! Not sure why... Maybe it's more difficult for those of you who were tiny svelte sporty types before you got pregnant...?
22+3, #1

Thanks Angelico interesting to read % of interventions. Only 40% coming out normally seems really really low to me, though I'm trying to follow your advice, squid of being as well prepared as possible and see what happens on the day.

how LOVELY LondonMrs re friend being preggo. that's marvellous news!

and kyrria glad you're getting time to take care of yourself. That's great.

I'm struggling with my changing body shape too. I'll probably have someone want to stab me with this but I am not enjoying my enormous bazookas (32H) which means that I either look matronly or slutty in everything. Great. And I hate having acne all over my face, chest and back.

I am feeling incredibly stressed today - really on the verge of hysterical tears. My tenants have told me the boiler has died (again) so am having to cough up for a new one (great timing when trying to sell the flat) and take time off work to go and sit and supervise the plumber. then I had my meeting nobberation then was basically told by the estate agent that although the one offer we had on the table was really low (like £50k below their valuation) that they reckoned it was as good as we were going to get and no-one else would buy it. So that's cheering. So mortgage on new place is going to be HUGE and we're never going on holiday ever again (drama drama, sigh sigh etc). AND I'm trying to study for my final yoga exams which are this coming weekend AND I'm shattered AND I feel like everything I want to do, I can't, cos I'm sodding pregnant (and yes, yes, I know I should be grateful but much of the time It's SUCH HARD WORK and I really had no idea it was going to be this HARD). Meanwhile we had the survey on DF's place today so hoping that will have gone ok so we can get the house. It's hard to get excited about parenthood when you don't know where you're even going to be living. and THEN my lovely (snarl) sister lectured me about Gina Ford (I had said that whilst I understand the benefits of routines, I felt she was a little regime-like and it felt rather joyless) and said there's no such thing as a bad sleeper of a baby, just bad parenting. Excellent. So now I feel I'm condemned to be referred to as a bad parent, before I've even begun.

So with that proper epic moan I'm taking myself to bed with my yoga relaxation CD and hope that'll get me in a better frame of mind. Sleep well ladies.

Gina Ford can sod off

Thanks Angelicio I will PM you (if I can work that out from this bloody phone, if not will do it from a proper computer tomorrow). And thanks for the stats, you are a sharer of great wisdom. I still need to get that book too, must get on amazon.

And Gina can knob off. Only time I felt like a totally shit mum was when trying to do what her book said. I found following my instincts and getting to know Dd was much more effective for me. Some babies are different, Blaming the parents at that age is just sanctimonious bullshit!

Let's all try and embrace our growing selves. We are pregnant, we are gorgeous no really and we are bloody lucky (but we are still allowed to come on here and bitch and moan about it).

I've not had a baby before but I've heard a consensus that Gina Ford is a judgemental nobber.

Breaking news: I HAVE JUST PRODUCED MILK! aaaaaaa

Wrote quite a funny post about weight gain earlier only for the site to crash when I came to post!! Boo hiss!! So on that note I'm gonna do one & check back in tomorrow.

Congrats on the leakage Squid :)

Livvy I wouldn't get too worried about the stats, their ideas of intervention include induction so that skews the figures a bit. Apparently some American figures include sweeps, epidurals everything and so get some amazing figure like 95% of American women have 'interventions' - whereas a lot of that stuff doesn't seem to be included with UK figures. Sorry you are having such a tough time on the housing front too - market is a nightmare at the minute unless you are a first time buyer with a bit of cash put aside - in which case fair play to ya, your time has come! :)

On Gina Ford front I have heard such mixed things. There's a thread on AIBU about it at the minute. One friend says it drove her to PND trying to follow routine. My sister used her loosely from 6 months and found it helpful but said she wouldn't have liked it before then. And Livvy you know that is bollocks about 'no such thing as bad sleeper only bad parent' - someone on current Gina Ford thread was saying 'Ha! Only parent of one single child could say that! They just got lucky with baby's temperament but have nothing to compare it with!' E.g. apparently I slept like a lamb for 12 hours a night, sister was a monster who could still be awake at 6am after wailing all night and brother was somewhere in between. Ironically bro and I are real night owls now and sis goes to bed really early :)

Midget I like your balance :) Yes we are fab and all but God pregnancy is also a pain in the back ass at times and it is so great to have somewhere to celebrate the triumphs AND tribulations!

Squid!!!! Milk!!!! OMG!!! That's so cool - and if I'm honest a little bit freaky The idea that my bosoms will produce milk is somewhere between :o and until there's an actual bean to slurp it up :o Bet you feel REALLY pregnant now :o

I promise I did actually do some cleaning... Night all x

Thanks everyone re trials of sister and gina. My sister had two great sleepers. Luck? Great parenting? Sigh. I did ask how she explained my mother's experience then (two great sleepers, one devil child). She attributed that to my mother being lax and allowing long daytime sleeps etc. Grr. I suspect this is bullshit and just about her defending her position. And in all honesty I am fine with people who want to do that (or any other approach). If it works for you, great. Just don't tell me I'm a bad parent before I've even begun!

squid I am a bit freaked out re milk too. Had no idea it arrived so early.

angelico thanks re housing and good point re inductions being included.

midget you are right re accepting our gorgeous selves. You're also right about my sis being santimonious!

Hey All!

Bit of a "me" post, I'm afraid

Have recently felt more movement, just in the evening & night and yesterday the bump was up & down, think our Baby Bear had hiccups

Still feeling pain at night in my hips & sleeping on blankets & a pillow between my legs isn't helping at all Definitely need a new mattress & extremely soft topper!

So my scans went ok & although I was massively nervous, internal one was done by a lady & ok. Baby seems to be like a proper mini person in there, it's so strange!! Apparently I have a low lying placenta at the moment (it's too close to the cervix) so will have another scan (& internal) @33wks to see if it moves - in 90% cases it usually moves of its own accord. If not moved by 33 wks then I'll have another @36 wks - and if it's not shifted by then, I will need a c-section. Not ideal but best for the baby

And before the scans, my blood pressure was a bit high but calmed down afterwards so probably nothing to worry about it.

And now just feeling utterly crap with a cold!! I'd saw off my left arm for some Strepsils & Sudafed but not allowed them - boo!! Off work today to recover & catch up on some sleep - I've had 4 hours in 48!

I had a bit of a wobble the other evening, as if I was suddenly comprehending the fact that an ikkle baby is soon to take over our lives & totally reliable on us - very overwhelming for some for strange reason. Anyone else had these moments?

35, 22+2 (spooky?!), dc#1

Word to the wise - don't blow your nose on an Olbas Oil tissue then try to get something out your eye - it fecking kills!!

What a nobber!!

Lol woopsie Loopy!!!!!

Re Gina Ford; My friend loosely used her books & as a result has THE most contented child going,this may just be luck of course but I must admit I now have the contented little baby book.I think routine for them is important re night sleeps & dream feeds etc so you can try to get a bit of sanity in all the madness,but I dont really want to be ruled by the tiddler either so will have to find a balance that works for me I think. I dont think either that there's a right or wrong way to parent I think you just have to go with whatever you think is best at that time & just go with it & anyone that tells us ever that we're doing a shit job with our babbas they can just nob off!!!

Yeah, I totally agree that routine can be good- hence I bought the book too. But I just think a compromise can be found- the Gina Ford style is too rigid to allow for anything else- family visits, illness... anything. I like to read other people's theories if only to reject or at least adapt them. Plus I'm sure I'll feel inadequate already- I don't need a book to make me feel worse!
Congratulations on the leakage Squid- weirdly enough I had a bit yesterday too! It may have been because... ahem... my hubby was giving my boobs some attention... Eek.

Wading in on the great gina debate - I firmly believe it's down to the child's temperament. Some babies will be gina'd, some will not - and if you have a baby who will not, woe betide you if you try to gina him/her. DS would've sent her book up in flames by the end of the first day trying. If gina works on your baby it basically means you have a wonderful easy baby - lucky you!!

ah maaaan, next door have just started making a fecking racket in their garden and DS has just gone down for his nap. What the feck are they doing??? Nobbers. Might have to go and have words....

Someone recommended this book to me: www.amazon.co.uk/Secrets-The-Baby-Whisperer-Communicate/dp/0091857023/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340706273&sr=8-1 as being about routine to some extent, but also not being too rigid because babies are, after all, tiny people and a degree of flexibility has to be included. Anyone read it? I haven't yet.

Afternoon nobbers!

Kyrria Sorry if I seemed a bit dismissive in my earlier reply to you. I'm glad to hear you've been signed off work though, it sounded like you needed it. Take care of yourself.

angelico So, so tired again too. But it might be just that my sleeping it really disrupted at the moment, like everyone else it seems. I've had to decamp to the spare room so I can spread out in bed and not knee DH in the back all night.

HaggisNeepsTatties I think mine has been having hiccups too! Thought it was just normal kicks but then they seemed to be always in the same area and not like the other movements you can see. And it happens all the time too - at least 3/4 times a day.

DameFlatYouLent I have also almost put on a stone too :-( Last time I went to the doctor she told me to fait attention, which is their way of saying watch what you're eating. I've been told the guidelines here are 1kg a month and 2kg in the last two months though, so I don't think we're hugely off the scale?! I made a banana loaf yesterday and am currently using each slice as one of my 5 a day....

mickeytheshortone Love you're description of the baby kicking and you liking the company! I'm going to think of it like that from now on. Me and my little partner in crime. He/she is just reminding me they are still in there cooking away.

I'm having a major stress over trying to find a new place to live - suffice to say estate agents are far worse here than in the UK. Also still not sure if we should stay in the city and live in a flat or move to the sleepy suburbs and a little house with a garden?

Also panicking over giving birth here now, ever since I was given the news that they don't do gas and air or pethadine in France. It's either au naturel or epidural, hence the high epidural rates. I'm not anti-epidural but I would like to try without. Have been watching hypnobirthing clips on YouTube and have decided I would very much like to have a labour like that thank you. Can anyone recommend good hypnobirthing books/CDs?

Back in the UK this weekend for a hen weekend and HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. I currently live in t-shirt dresses from H&M but UK weather reports suggest this might not be appropriate. Plus hen is going to be full of glamorous, successful ladies some of whom are also pregnant but also manage high flying careers... along with little old unemployed me bumbling around in the south of France in H&M t-shirt dresses...... help!

Smorgs
32, 24 weeks today, dc1