Due in October 2012 - Part 5

[Kyyria]

Just starting us off on a new thread

I think I cross posted with you, mickey. That sounds out of order. Do you have an HR department? Good luck!

DF got to feel Pepe last night for the first time - he was absolutely delighted. I think it makes it more real for him!

Had lovely bday pressies and now off to my yoga course again. Feeling grotty with snotty cold but probably just a bit run down. Still, the end is in sight... if all goes well I should qualify next Sunday!

Have a lovely weekend everyone.

oh ladies, sorry to hear about all the insomnia and work stresses :( Thank goodness it's the weekend and u can all have a bit of a rest. Thanks for the coaching, yomping - i dont think i can make pics as my little mini lap top doesn't have square brackets :( All these posts about all the crap people are experiencing is getting me all fired up!!

Squid and Kyria, make sure you take care of yourselves. Antenatal depression is quite common and i think you might be more predisposed to it if you have been depressed previsouly. At my NHS work place, they can only make you take your mat leave early if you are off sick in the last month, so if you need some time off now, Kyria, it shouldn't affect how much mat leave you can take. And Squid, the NHS is rife for understaffing departments and relying on staff's committment to do sometimes unpaid overtime to get the job down. You are obvisouly committed, but at the moment, your managers need to acccomodate your gp's advice about the hours you need to work to stay healthy. Could you ask to be referred to OH for further back up on your need to work reduced hours? I know it's hard, but if you can bring yourself to insist you are sticking to the hours you have been advised to work for your health, and your baby's health, surely they are just going to have to find cover for you, if not from your team, then from elsewhere, to avoid a clinical incident? Ultimately, the health of your patients is not your personal responsibility, it's your employer's, and they shouldn't be making you feel as though you have to sacrifice your own health and your baby's, for your patients.
Mickey, read Zoe's recent posts for inspiration - we are pregnant and we can use employment law to kick some arse!! What kind of nobber turns up to work drunk and starts making unjustified comments on someone's performance based on their pregnancy? Discriminating + being drunk at work has got to at least result in him being given a formal written warning.

Kyria be sure to mind yourself. It sounds like you have a hard time standing up for yourself.
I'm ok in that department, though not as good as Zoep . I am not criticizing you - you are putting other people's needs above your own. Think about it, your mental health is in an place where you are considering AD meds although you are pregnant. In that same week you allow your employer cancel your much needed AL. I think you need to get in touch with your inner lioness.

Thank goodness I have found you all! Why did we have to move? Not fair!

Just had a lovely roast dinner after a pretty grim week. Going to the lake district on year 7 camp tomorrow! Feeling very wobbly about going away actually. It is only for two nights but I will miss my little boy terribly and just want DH close at hand at the moment. I know that sounds pretty wet, but this is the one place you can be honest about that kind of thing isn't it?

Going to scroll back and read up on all your news now!

xxx

Hey all! Finally found you...haven't been on for a while and took me ages to track the thread down!

Anyway, on the phone so can't name check you all. But to everyone with work woes or other worries.

I'm doing ok... Work is busy, but I'm trying to cut back travel, and won't be long till I stop flying.

Feeling loads of movement now, but especially what I think are hiccups. I did think they were kicks, but they are very regular. Anyone know how often is normal for hiccups? Feels like baby's getting them about 8-10 times a day!

Have had a lovely weekend in Bath visiting a friend - boy did I need that break, hadn't realised quite how stressed I was getting. Walked round a lovely National Trust place today and browsed in Bath, and my soul feels refreshed . In the course of the weekend I also consumed cider (1 pint), runny egg yolks (2), goats cheese (4 slices in a baguette) and mozzarella (4 slices, in another baguette), raw egg in a cheesecake (2 large slices). Oopsy... I swear these things are actually more appealing now I'm not meant to be eating them . Although to balance out the naughtiness, I have bought some Becks Blue 0% alcohol beer which I actually quite like! I thought it would feel a bit pointless drinking no alcohol beer but it's just like drinking beer without getting drunk.

I too have had bump-related comments ranging from "god, it's huge!" (I wanted to punch her...) to "that's tiny for nearly six months" (I wanted to hug her!). To be honest, I don't want people's opinions and I wish they would keep them to themselves but the bump seems to cause verbal diarrhoea in others in the same way it sucks away all my organisation and leaves me a scatty mess. I think the baby is absorbing all my organisational skills and whilst I am a clumsy oaf, searching for the right words for things, which always seem to be just out of reach, and constantly forgetting what I am meant to be doing or what I should have brought with me, and unable to type a sentence now without going back twice to correct spellings, the baby will be born with a superior ability to organise, type and walk around without bumping into things or dropping stuff and will then be able to take over those responsibilities. That's my hope anyway

Nobber bosses sound very hard to deal with, my sympathies to people having to put up with them. Maybe it's a comfort to know that you are going to be bringing a new human being into the world who you will bring up to be wonderful and considerate, and this will help the nobber:nice person ratio considerably!

I can't take credit for the word nobber, it comes from Brian Cox. My DH told me something Prof. Cox had posted on twitter along the lines of "I can't believe I am still contacted by people who don't think the moon landings were real - go away you bunch of nobbers!". I thought it was brilliant and am now annoying DH by saying it at every opportunity and now it is being used on Mumsnet. Brilliant!

Beccus, next bit of coaching: if you want to use the wine and biscuit etc symbols, scroll down to the bottom of your screen where they are all listed, and copy the bit that comes after the picture (square bracket, word, square bracket). Paste this into your post and it should convert to the picture when your post appears.

Off for tea of sausages and chips, yum! I hope your dinners are equally appealing and you all have good weeks.

Oh wow, what a lot of crap we are all going through. Huge sympathy to everyone experiencing work worries. I really hope you can get them sorted out. Mickey your boss is so unfair! I can't see what grounds he has to deem you an unreliable employee!
Squid the relentlessness of your job is so tough- I am not surprised you feel as you do. I had a crazy busy week this week too, but although during a teaching week you are constantly responsible for others and get very little down time, I can't imagine how much harder that would be if the people you are dealing with are in need of your medical help relentlessly. I really feel for you and hope you can let yourself off the hook a bit. I know what it is like to have high expectations of yourself and to constantly feel like other people think you aren't doing enough. In your case, I think you have to keep fighting for a more realistic work pattern for yourself. Just keep thinking that you aren't doing it for yourself, you are doing it for the baby. I have a friend who is really afraid of confrontation and she told me that as soon as her daughter was born she became much more confident in fighting for things if it was for her daughter's sake. I hope that I will get a bit more confidence in that area. I just feel like nobody makes any allowances for the fact I am pregnant and knackered at work or at home, only my lovely Mum. She made me sit down today and although I protested at the time, once I sat down, I realised that I did really need the rest. It is so hard to listen to your body when you are used to being so active.

I had to do a ridiculous day of interviews for my maternity post on Tuesday which I hated. It is so hard not to fear that everyone will do my job better than me or that everyone will like them better than me! Pathetic, I know. Plus the three other Senior Managers interviewing with me allowed me to go up and down three flights of stairs each time to bring each candidate up while they sat in their cosy chairs. How mean! They even kept joking that I was the least appropriate person to be doing that job. I was thinking - 'well, why don't one of you offer to do it then?'

Right, better go and pack a selection of water proofs for year 7 camp. Wish me luck!!!!!

Sorry if I have been a bit moany. It feels good to let it out!

Bella Age 29 23+3 weeks, EDD 18th October

Thanks for your support ladies

I've never had much of an inner tiger, have always struggled saying no and have always been taken advantage of for being loyal and for having a caring nature. I hate letting people down and carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. What with the last few years of mental bullying/torture I have had the fight knocked out of me and at this moment in time I'm just trying to make it through to maternity leave without completely crumbling. I honestly don't have the energy to bother fighting at the moment - it's just too much hassle.

Am currently hoping that new manager (starting in August) takes the pressure off, being off work for 6-9months gives me a mental break (and hopefully makes people at work realise I am not the answer to everything and that if I'm not there they will have to deal with things on their own) and that I either apply and succeed in getting the world's most perfect job and/or win a significant amount on the lottery so that it means I can tell them where to stick it so I don't have to go back.

Am also hoping that the arrival of my little bean gives my life a different focus (away from work and putting family first) and also helps toughen me up.

Currently looking at taking mat leave frm 29th Oct (due date is 28th) with 4 weeks of annual leave in before that - so official finishing date of 28th Sep....it can't come soon enough!

32, 22+0, #1

Kyria,look after yourself please it really doesnt pay to be loyal at work anymore you must put yourself first work will have to manage without you :) Also if you would like a few pointers on finding your inner lioness I can help you out with that one lol I have a few of the characteristics (I'm a leo) & can fight my way throught the best of them & have been known to bring grown men to tears in the past just by giving them some home truths!! I'm probably not painting a nice picture of myself :) I'm lovely really,loyal,caring,trustworthy but I know my faults too lol the point I guess I'm trying to make is sometimes in life you just cant suffer fools & at times may need to kick some arse!!!

sorry to hear of all your work woes, I too am finding work tricky, mainly as I fear a return of my anxiety making it harder to deal with things i would normally take in my stride, but that's the same at home too a stinking cold hasn't helped either!
still no signs of an obvious bump but feeling lots of movement several times a day now which is lovely and reminds me of (hopefully) happy times to come and to just take it a bit easier.
In brighter news we finally ordered our pram yesterday, a real head or heart decision and decided to treat ourselves to the heart choice, an icandy peach, stockist already had carrycot in silver mint in stock (so lucky) and have ordered a black magic stroller so can accessorise with colour when we know the flavour. so excited now, not really had to buy anything else as we have been given some beautiful furniture by friends, also started to get a few little bits of clothing. I just wish baby was here now, October seems so very far away still.

Hello! Took an age to track down the new thread, thank you to the person who put a link in part 4.

I'm a bit bored of being pregnant now, just want to get on with things - really missing riding my horse for starters and also get all breathless when I eat, I got a bit panicky about feeling too full and fat to breathe which wasn't fun. I'm only 25+3 so still an age to go. But can't complain as I've had a really easy pregnancy to date, one cheeky pile (sorry TMI) is all I have in terms of side effects!!

I can't wait to go shopping for baby things though, in some ways wished we'd found out the sex of the bean, currently nicknamed 'Viggo', as so many baby clothes are determinedly pink/blue, where are all the nice unisex colours as white doesn't seem a very practical colour for something so messy.

Really enjoy reading all your stories, ups and downs too :)

Hiya, thought I'd say hello as I'm new to posting and was reading all posts to see what everyone's upto. Don't really know what I'm doing so don't know how to name tag anyone!!?? Sorry to hear about work worries and other niggles. My work seem to be good at the moment.
Although I am getting sick of people commenting on the size of my knockers! Why do they feel the need to tell me all the time, god your boobs are massive, errr yes I know I carry them round all day. They would tell someone there arse is massive so why is it ok to say about someones breasts!!
Anyway xxx

It's way too early to be a) up and b) about to leave for work, surely? . Week 3 of mental month, here I come!

Hey Loxy Huge knockers by the way. Sorry - couldn't resist it.

On the work front - it is totally normal to be subject to discrimination when pregnant. In fact you are more likely to experience it pregnant than at any other time in your life. I found that out last time but got a nice chunky pay off so all wells that ends well! Don't stand for it but don't let it stress you - the last few months of my pregnancy with DD1 were awful - and once you leave work you suddenly realise how unimportant it all is - all that matters is the baby. It's just a bastard that we have to go through it all. I am the opposite this time - finding it hard to give two shiny shits about work at the moment. Bad me. Always put yourself and your baby first - work comes, work goes, it is just so hard to find perspective. I really feel for any of you going through it.

Bump update: It's huge, just huge. Had growing pains in it last night. I am too small for carrying babies. Think this baby may be a normal weight unlike DD1 and I am now scared as to where I am going to keep it and how the hell it is going to come out!

Best go - lots of work today and hoping to get to the gym to make up for sluggish effort over the weekend. I was determined to not let my fitness levels suffer but currently only managing pilates and walking and the occasional ok hardly ever gym session. Need to up my game before the tiredness really kicks in last trimester.

Take it easy bean bakers - don't like life sweep you up and knacker you out x

Morning all, and hi Loxy. Bet you want to stick a sign on your boobs saying something incredibly rude - I'd be tempted!

Sorry to hear all those with work/boss-related woes It seems ridiculous that we should still have such issues these days.

My bump is about the same size at 25wks as it was at about 30wks last time . I've put on a stone - and I know it's mostly due to eating lots of crap between meals. I've lost my ability to control myself. Need to think something along the lines of "I wouldn't feed DS that, so why am I feeding it to DC2"? But then I have ishoos with the fact that my body is no longer just my own - silly, I know.

Feeling a bit ranty/rambly today so will try to keep it short. DS is being impossible and I'm struggling to keep my cool with him. Am also completely stumped about what to do about buggies when Noodle arrives - to double or not to double, and if to double, which one to get?? Phil & Ted's type (seem to have so many cons to me, e.g. no shopping basket, crap seat recline, nowhere to hang bags, back child gets no view) or side-by-side - but they're so wide!!

Also money is tight and i'm struggling to ensure we can get everything we need for Noodle. It'd be good if it was a boy, really - save us lots of money...

I said i'd keep this short so I'll go now! Just feeling a bit blah today

Hi Loxy and good morning to all

My first hour at work this morning was absolute shite - started getting palpitations and shakes as well as stomach cramps. Told myself I could sit and suffer or could phone my gp. Was on phone to them at 8:40am, got emergency appt, saw GP and have been signed off for 4 weeks with stress.Sod 'em - can't be bothered dealing with all the hassle.

New manager starts on Monday - will be good for the Partners to explain to her why I'm off with stress...

Dr checked the little one - heard the heartbeat and he was giving a few kicks too so satisfied he is all ok.

Am now at home with a nice cuppa and putting my feet up...definitely putting myself and little one first x

Sorry you feel so shite but not sorry you resting. Make sure you get plenty of rest and relaxation.

Hey peeps, just a quick hello! Anyone else getting tired again? I had a few weeks where I had a bit more zing but quite dozy over the weekend. Sympathy to all with work woes etc and hello to Loxy

Kyrria you did exactly the right thing - you and the bean do not deserve the completely shit treatment you've had at work. Give yourself a break then go back fighting fit!

Dame sorry your DS is being impossible - really don't know how you pg ladies who already have kids do it - it's hard enough having number one! As for buggies, my SIL swears by her Phil n Teds as do friends who have 2 wee ones - they find them easy to steer etc. Maybe you could get one of those bag things to clip on to buggy for shopping?

Katla I'm 25+3 too and had that horrible breathless feeling last night - made myself eat some fruit after dinner and it was just too much, was gasping a bit afterwards. It's not nice.

Had a glucose tolerance test this morning, the drink was gross but spent a couple of hours chatting to a nice girl who was pregnant with number 2 and who had a previous CS in the hospital. Good to get some insider info! My veins were being a bit unco-operative for the second blood test and poor student midwife had to concede defeat after turning me into human pin cushion, blood pouring down arm etc. I wanted to let her keep going (hate demoralising people and I'm not squeamish) but I was down to my last 2 veins and couldn't face thought of repeating whole test - especially the drink Just as well there were 2 left as even brilliant bloodsucking MW (didn't even feel the first test!) could only get blood out of one of them. Moral of the story is: take pity on students where possible but always save 2 veins! :o

Got an AN class later on today - it's all going on! Having to go this early as they don't run them over the summer and I will be ready to pop by the time they start up again in late Sep. DH is coming too which is nice - think he feels a bit uninvolved really, apart from listening to my groans and moans.

Ha, as usual Angelico has a somewhat distorted idea of a 'quick post' :o x

Hi all,

Does everyone have to have a GTT? I'm sure I read it was mostly high-risk, but maybe I dreamt it.

I thought until today that the whole 'baby brain' thing was a myth. But at the start of lunch today, I popped to Sainsburys near work to pick up something for lunch and dinner and some bits and bobs- about £40 of food in all. Came back to the office, sat at my desk and did another half hour of work. Then went to the office fridge to get my lunch... where was my shopping? Yep, I'd paid for it, packed it and then left it all in Sainsburys. And hadn't even noticed. Not sure I can even bear to go back and say 'has anyone handed in my shopping?'

What a nobber.

Hey London - I think it is only high risk who get GTT. I'm due to have one 'cos I'm on the "cuddly" side, but probably just as well as both my m&d have developed diabetes in their late 50's.

32, 22+1, #1

Hi London You nobber, did you get your shopping back? If it makes you feel any better I have done that when not pregnant. Double nobber.

I also think only high risk women. Probably: over 40, higher BMI, regular of high trace of sugar in the urine or family history. I wasn't offered one last time I was pregnant and haven't been offered one this time (even though I am over 40 - maybe they will hit me with it next time)

My shopping was gone! Some nobber stole it or something!

Felt like a right tit going to customer services and saying 'I came in to do my shopping earlier and I actually forgot my shopping. Has anyone seen it?'

Back from ante-natal class which was quite interesting but did focus exclusively on totally straightforward VBs. There was a 2 minute reference at the end to forceps, ventouse and sections which seemed a little disingenuous given the intervention rates - but in their defence MWs said that they used to do 6 AN classes, now it's down to 3 because of cuts. Guess they don't have time to go into much detail. They had some great turns of phrase, wish I had written them down :o DH quite enjoyed it surprisingly, given that he can be a squeamish soul :)

On GTT I don't think you have to be high-risk in a general sense, just higher risk of gestational diabetes. Mine was for BMI over 30, girl beside me today had a diabetic sister and traces of sugar in urine. The drink... I can still 'taste' it in my head - vomits! They should give a swig of it to dieters every morning because I promise you will want nothing sweet for the rest of the day...

London boo hiss to the shopping-stealing nobber! :(

LondonMrsS Boo hiss indeed re shopping thief!!!

If it's any consolation I am also a right nobber today. I got to work, sat down, read some emails and then a reminder for a meeting popped up. in 20 minutes, 8 miles away across London. A client meeting that I'd been absolutely convinced was at 2pm. I then called said client and apologised profusely, ran up to the main road and then sat gasping in the cab and was 30 mins late. d'oh. NOT popular. But since it's the first time I've been late in 3 years hopefully I'll be forgiven.

Interesting, angelico re ante-natal class. I gave DF a book called Fatherhood and he came down one morning looking a bit stunned/horrified after he learned of the existence of a ventouse ! But best they learn about these things in advance. Hurrah if we do get straightforward births but it seems these are pretty rare...