Due in October 2012 - Part 5

[Kyyria]

Just starting us off on a new thread

Sorry realised I missed a whole page of posts before writing earlier post. Yes LondonMrsS I have had many friends recommend that book and I have almost finished reading it. I too am sceptical of Gina, I've heard too many people say trying to follow her made them feel like failures. The Baby Whisperer, despite the awful title, actually seems like a pretty sane, frank-talking Yorkshire woman who talks a lot of sense. It's a routine, but like you say, not rigid. And the emphasis is on trying to get to know your baby and work out why they are crying etc, which seems a nice technique.

Also, someone earlier was asking about prams/buggies and Phil & Teds in particular. Loads of friends recommended them to me, especially if you're planning on having more than one, so we managed to find one second hand. Seems really good although haven't 'road-tested' it with a baby yet of course! They also hold their value quite a lot, so you can re-sell them fairly easily if it doesn't work out.

Hi Smorgs, I too have been reading up on hypnobirthing. I am fundamentally against hypno-anything, and alternative medicines (if they were scientifically proven, I'm pretty sure we'd just call them 'medicine')... BUT the factual theory behind hypnobirthing is merely that our bodies have evolved (some of the books say 'created' but as an atheist, I just replace that with 'evolved') perfectly to give birth. Also that if we're frightened, our bodies naturally get ready for a flight or flight situation which directs all oxygen to our vital organs which actually stops labour- so many women are trying to give birth against a body which is actually trying to stop labour in order to get to safety. So the fear is often the problem- it's an old old theory.
There are visualisation techniques etc, but I haven't researched those yet. Personally the medical info about exactly how the muscles in the uterus work are really interesting and help give me a relaxed attitude to birthing.
Most places seem to recommend really expensive courses (I'm not even doing NCT classes because I think they're an absolute rip off), so I've subscribed to this: www.tums2mums.com/index_files/Hypno4BirthHomeStudyProgramme.htm.
It may be bollocks, but anything which helps to give a relaxed and confident attitude towards labour has to be a good thing, even in the event of complications.

Well we day 2 into our week away, and I hadn't realised how much I needed this break!!

Not gone anywhere exotic, just taken my mum and dads tourer to haven in mablethorpe but DS is having an absolute blast, and I have been able to rest in between all the swimming, arcades, eating and evening entertainment. DH even cooked us a brunch today, which is so out of character I almost cried.

Only trouble is, I'm going to find it almost impossible to go back to all the work/moving stress but hey Ho, that's not til Sunday. And Monday, I finally have my pink or blue scan :)

Oh, and fifty shades of grey = WOW!! Almost finished, and I only started it on Sunday evening! Hubby still doesn't know what its about but think he had a nice suprise last night! Sorry TMI was fun tho, and we ARE on holiday, plus he works nights and hasn't been off since Christmas so we have lots of time to make up!

29, 21+2 no 2

Afternoon ladies from my comfortable bed....

Cwest enjoy the relaxing and don't even think of 'real' life!
Smorgs had a huge laugh at your '5 a day' now I have a craving....
Kyrria I hope you are having a good time off, so pleased you have a sensible gp

Am getting more interested in the whole hypnobirthing idea, keep the info coming ladies I need to be convinced though as I don't really understand it!

Well as I said, in my comfortable bed, after a truly hectic 5 days, DH working away and Ds1 off school damn inset days. So thinking I am super mum I carried on rushing about the supermarket, swimming, housework, walking to the chemist, 600 yards away and lo and behold on Saturday evening my hips decided to take charge by totally preventing me from sleeping and walking. I was hysterical as nobody to call really and just had to ride it out. Have made a gp appointment for tomorrow and am taking it easy.

Dame and Smorgs also reaching the 1 stone mark and now I can't exercise eek I am going to be huge! Just walking to the school gate and back this afternoon and I am in pain. I really feel down about this.

I think I'm going to go and finish the other half of the slab of Aero in the fridge.....

Hey peeps, quick post as knackered, going to have a lie down. Have read Gina Ford book AND Baby Whisperer about 18 months ago - think I was trying to overcome my terror and psyche myself up for whole 'becoming a parent' thing. Def preferred BW as it is more realistic about different baby temperaments and was less regimented.

I got my copy on a book swap web site so cost postage only and funnily enough got it out of cupboard a few nights ago to re-read now it might actually be useful. I'm very disorganised but it does say that can make life with a newborn hard so might do me more good than someone who is well-organised :)

LondonMrsS Thanks so much for the recommendation! I too was sceptical of hypnotherapy until I had a very important exam to pass for work and got to the point where I was so nervous I would try anything.

A colleague recommended hypnotherapy, describing it as less like being made to go into a trance and more like deep relaxation combined with talking therapies like NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) and visualisation.

I took 6 classes and was even unconvinced by the end that they had worked (I ended up in tears when she asked me to visualise myself in the exam room). But, I had a really bad exam experience (computer crashed losing all my work, one paper was much, much harder than expected) and still managed to pass at the first attempt (not common) with flying colours so am now a firm believer in hypnotherapy.

I think it's very true what you say about being relaxed helping with labour, so that's what I'm looking for really.

CWest Happy holidays and happy, umm, sexy time with DH!!

gigglewizz I sometimes get pain in my stomach when I've been walking fast, think it's the ligaments. But your hip pain sounds horrid. I'd definitely go to see the GP about it.

Oh and definitely finish off the medicinal Aero.... God I miss them, is it the mint one? Going right on my 'things to bring back from UK' list this weekend, along with Yorkshire Tea, Simple eye makeup remover and various baby first aid things from Boots (so I can understand instructions easily at 3am without relying on Google Translate while Wae-Lin is at full throttle!)

I have bought baby whisperer too but not read it yet - have a huge stash of books to read on hols in a couple of weeks' time! I'm hoping that it'll be slightly less rigid than Gina.

gigglewhizz I've also gained about a stone - I think this is normal by now, no? Though I can't say I'm loving it, I am getting more used to it. I have a spreadsheet (ooops, showing my geeky side here) which has the weight that I started at and what I'm supposed to be each week. This seems to work for me in making me feel calmer about weight gain (ie that it is something that IS going to happen and it's quite alright). Awful to be sore and in pain - would swimming help with that? Lots of folk say the weight off their legs does help (but of course depends on what the issue is).

Smorgs re hen weekend, do you have good legs? If so, t shirt dress with cute belt and earrings and great shoes and sure you'll be onto a winner. If cleavage your strong suit then a pair of H&M trousers and a tight fitting top to show off bump and assets should work a treat! You'll be grand.

So Smorgs, slight tangent, as you live in France, is your baby going to be bilingual? Mine will be as my hubby is French (although we live in London). My French isn't great, but we're going to do the one parent one language thing...
Anyone else got extra languages?

Oh thanks londonlivvy - I have OK legs and OK boobs! But as it's a whole weekend will need a few outfits - thanks for the suggestions. Do you think I'll be cold in a dress in UK at the mo?

LondonMrsS Depending on how long we stay here, then yes I hope so. We're both British so it will obv speak English at home, but I'm pretty fluent so was thinking of singing French nursery rhymes to it and perhaps the different animal noises they do over here so it will have a fighting chance at maternelle.

I've heard the one parent one language thing is a really good technique and it's worked for friends of mine who have grown up in the UK with a foreign parent.

Its me Loxy88! Thought id have a change
At work and feeling like I want to give up now. BUT baby is kicking away so making me feel better!

I think Gina is abit of a harsh dragon! I didnt like her at all, even when I read about her potty training views.

Ive gained around half a stone at last check but since then I have eaten my weight in chocolate! I love the stuff....... (need to stop)

need to buy fifty shades of grey

I have been meaning to mention this for ages but keep forgetting... (TMI alert). I've noticed that the baby gets outraged every time I got to the toilet - think it must be like someone pulling the plug on its waterbed . It starts kicking like crazy in a "hey, what are you doing, I was comfortable" sort of way . Is anyone else noticing this?

Those books sound interesting, I'm going to read them both, I like the idea of routine and think I will be just the sort to beat myself up if the baby finds it hard to get into one so maybe the Baby Whisperer book might be better but going to check Gina Ford out too.

I am feeling happy now, as I decided that the way forward for this evening was to have a nice warm bath, get into my pyjamas and snuggle up on the sofa. This was definitely the right decision as I seem to be permanently knackered and going to work every morning is a real struggle!
Having had dd1 who completely failed to sleep or in fact be put down without screaming her head off for her first six months, I would happily throttle anyone who claimed that parenting determines how "good" or otherwise a baby is. I think parenting has much more of an impact on older children but for newborns I think they come with their own personalities and we have a limited effect. Not to say that gina ford can't work for some parents and babies, but for us it would have just been impossible. I think the problem comes when /if you end up feeling bad because your baby doesn't do what the book says it should - all the books are just suggestions worth trying to find out what works for you. That's the way I look at it anyway!
I have coped with the weight gain by just not weighing myself so I don't know the dreadful truth and admiring my beautiful bump! Denial is working well so far to keep me happy....

Quick hello! Cross and knackered as not long home from work due to other peoples incompetent rubbishness and I am on a 6 day week so grumpy grumpy!!!! Smorgs I too have hen this weekend but thank god is only sat only!! Dress code is black dress and a wig (!!!?!) and hoping hoping that the black stretchy dress which was too big will fit me........!
I hav gained half stone from pre preg weight but full stone since lowest point of losing loads at start so all in all not too bad!!
Off to finish work I brought home! Lovely.

Hello all,
Hope everyone's coping OK with this muggy weather. It's making me even lighter-headed than usual.
I've got my 25 week GP appointment this afternoon, not quite sure what to expect from this one. Our surgery gets you to do your own weight and BP in the waiting room before the appointment - I'll definitely NOT be looking at the weight as I'm generally coping with my changing shape as long as I don't think about it. Bump in front is fine, but the extra bits appearing around the sides are in danger of triggering 'fat' instead of 'pregnant' thoughts....
smiley and happy and everyone else feeling knackered - me too! I could so easily get my head down on the desk now and sleeeeeeeep.
giggle hope you're feeling better?
smorgs I've got a black tie dinner on Friday, tried on my loosest smart dress this morning and it was a pretty tight fit - and d'oh! just realised that fitting into it this morning is no indication of whether it will fit for an evening do (bump definitely grows during the day, DH measured one day and the difference was 6.5cm). Bother bother bother. I really don't want to buy anything for just one night.
Thanks all for info on hypnobirthing etc. Not sure yet what approach to take, but I know I need to practice keeping myself calm, and getting DH to help calm me. I'm thinking some of the same visualisations I use when flying might help (not a happy flyer) but need to give some thought to it. And we've not even thought about whether to Gina or not to Gina, so much to think and talk about! Yikes....
Hope everyone has nice days with and [biscuits] for anyone feeling wobbly, down or stressed.

[biscuits] should be . Mumsnet clearly doesn't want me to offer more than one!

MrsConfusion I have a wedding coming up and not sure about bump expansion and current proposed dress so was having a quick browse and found some cheap options on new look. This one might work for your black tie do if paired with marvellous shoes / jewellery?
www.newlook.com/shop/maternity/shop-by/maternity-blue-jersey-mini-dress_254668141

I'm tempted by this one
www.newlook.com/shop/maternity/shop-by/exclusive-maternity-pink-jersey-maxi-dress_245745876 though it's perhaps a bit bright.

My main challenge is that lots of the dresses come quite low and with the current cleavage, it can go a bit Jordan, if you get my drift.

Dammit. BP has snuck back up. It's basically driving and work, which finishes on Friday thankfully so after that I will be able to 'rest'. It's all very well this 'resting' business but life doesn't stop! Still working, co-ordinating house renovations (massive, it was a gut-out job and at critical stage where workmen are like dominoes lined up behind each other for next couple of weeks), have 2 lots of visitors in next 5 days and have to start writing next book which I haven't got near

Have to go to midwife weekly for next few weeks to keep an eye on the BP. Bit pissed off as was pleased it was down :(

Eeeek! Overheated pregnant woman alert! Puffy ankles and all!! Flip me, first day I have felt like a whale !! So can we just between ourselves hope that the summer doesn't turn gloriously warm and sunny after all cos 1 day of humidity has me pooped!!!!!

I too have got a wedding in Aug. no idea how to do a link. Have probably foolishly bought a dress already as low availability in my size. Just hope I don't dramatically change shape other than bump!!!!

Ladies look at ASOS online. Loads of silly ones but a few nice ones and price ok for something likely only worn once. I did a bit of concentrated googling and got a voucher code for 20% off, wish I cud share, memory shit and was only few days ago!!!! So dress ended up about 40 quid.

Has plenty of room for bump tO grow but if back grows or something I'm fecked!!!!!!

Sorry hav not the energy to read or respond to anything else!
X

Just a quick one for anyone needing to buy baby stuff - mothercare currently doing 20% off orders over £100 placed online - thinking this might be a way to get some money off the car seat for us

Evening lovelies

Thanks for the congrats on the milk! It wasn't a leakage though - I was experimentally squeezing! Freaked me right out

This week's been a bit easier for me as we're better staffed, also was at a training day today so got to not wear scrubs and chipped up in skinny jeans and fitted vest looking pregnant rather than fat for once! Made me feel better anyway. Thanks guys for tolerating my nobber comments about getting bigger. I'm fit (well, less fit now) and healthy and lucky and even like healthy food and I have only grown a bump really (though obviously look nothing like those annoying women who advertise maternity clothes, 6ft tall and razor collarbones with a football up their top - no offence to anyone who looks like this, I wish!)... so anyway I should stop complaining. Like smileyhappymummy I have no intention of weighing myself anyway... well I might do at 40 weeks for curiosity. About two years ago now I managed to lose a dress size and put on 10lb while doing lots of weights, so have been sceptical of the value of knowing my weight since.

I am having a lot of back ache now, mostly when I wake up in the morning - some yoga stretches and walking tend to help with it though. I just feel so HEAVY. Just a few days for me now till 3rd trimester.

loopyla I had one of those stupid low lying placentas as well - I said had because it was 7 weeks ago and I am hopeful it has moved /is moving. The odds are good. I've not had any bleeding. BP being high in hospital is pretty standard! If it came down nothing to worry about.

Interesting reading the Gina ford stuff. I want to try sleeping baby in my bed, in some places I still read this is frowned upon but I think the evidence is crap. I'm reading up on how to do it safely and I like the idea of breastfeeding being easier, being more in tune with babs, etc. I am a light sleeper so I think it would suit me. I have a nice breastfeeding book my sis gave me with lots of cartoons and encouragement.

Smorgs I feel for you on not having gas and air... it's nice to know you have the options even if you don't use them! My mum had three labours with no pain relief (she said gas and air made her sick) so I'm going to start there and then move to other things if I need them. Can you get a TENS machine? I have a hypo birthing cd (courses seemed extortionate) ... I've listened to it once and fell asleep. It was quite soothing... I agree with LondonMrs to an extent about alternative medicine, but my view is birth isn't necessarily medical, though it may become so. So I think finding quiet safe relaxed places is putting you in the best possible position to have an easier labour, though obviously many things can happen that are out of your control.

I want to hear from Kyyria! I hope she's doing better.

Am I the only one sharing bump pics? I want to see some bumps dammit. Bumps make me feel better as all my mates are rapidly looking slimmer by the day in comparison to the mirror! I am not doing any more until someone shows me theirs. Mine is getting massive!

squid, 27+2

oh, and have to wade in on clothes:

ASOS is colourful and great selection and lasts well and I was a big fan before I was pregnant. I have a pair of over the bump skinny jeans from them which are SO comfy and v flattering. There is a sale on right now. I am still wearing mostly non-pregnancy stuff because preg is so dull but don't know how much longer I can manage that. I wear a lot of cute skirts/shorts with elasticated waists (not preg ones). I bought a mamas&papas top off Ebay - rubbish, wasn't long enough, shape all wrong, not flattering. I am eyeing up isabella oliver but can't bring myself to spend that much. Had a look through online New Look maternity stuff the other day - a nice range, dunno what the quality's like.

squid if it's any consolation I know a model who does pregnancy shoots and they literally do shove a prosthetic belly up the clothes. This explains why they don't have the boobs or even the softer coverage (I've always had good collarbones but they've disappeared recently!) that most preg ladies have!

And I haven't got pics yet of the bump - we haven't got round to it! Must get round to it!

Hello squid and everyone else

I'm doing fine thanks - much better for not being at work! Didn't think my sleep had been suffering too much but have managed a 3hr+ snooze both yesterday and this morning. Phoned my mum and dad this aft for a chat andgave myself tummy pains just talking about work to them - feel a bit of a fraud for not being in ('cos I don't feel anywhere near as stressed not being there) but then if just talking about it makes them start again I know I'm doing the right thing.

Senior partner phoned Monday lunchtime to see how tthings were and then completely p*ssed me off by asking how far along I was and whether everything had been with pregnancy up to now (to which I said yes, apart from getting stomach pains when I'm getting stressed - which I told her about several weeks ago as after dealing with a couple of irate patients I told her I didn't want to deal wit complaints any. more). I know they're just working out at what point they can insist I go on early Nat leave. Tough titties for them as I was doing a bit of research - any sickness before 29wks is classed as normal sickness, anything after that date is only relevant to early nay leave if it is preg related sickness (which stress isn't) and even then they can only orce.you to go on early mat leave if preg related sickness within last 4 weeks before EWC.

Great not being in but getting constant emails about passwords/procedures as a lot of stuff that only I know.

Had delivery of Moses basket and baby monitor this afternoon - must admit I acted like a bit of a kid and had a bit of a play with the monitor - it was like being 7 again and having my Barbie phones that were connected by about 2 metres of cable!

Little one seems to be fine - getting quite a few hefty punches/kicks in the bladder now

Thanks for all the positive vibes being sent this way - hope everyone else is ok

32, 22+3, #1

Evening all, Can I share my baby book experiences?
I came home with DS and drove myself mad trying to read the 'How to rear a baby' books, like they were an Ikea manual.
Gina can be helpful - I know some people who LOVE her. She might suit you Yomping if you like to be in control, and know what is the next thing to do. A piece of advice that resonated with me was if your baby is in a strict routine, then so are you. ie If your baby is in bed at 12 midday, then you might not be able to meet your friend on her lunch break. A firm routine did not suit me.

I think the kernel of what the Baby Whisperer is about is EASY (Eat, Activity, Sleep, You). It is still a routine, I think done in roughly 3 or 4 hour blocks. This was also the advice from my Public Health Nurse at the time - follow regular 3 to 4 hour blocks, during the day.

On breast feeding, the LaLeche League have a book, something like 'The Complete Guide to BF'. I found that great. You can dip into it with questions. It is not a cover to cover read.

I do not remember it all but this time round I will read the literature the hospital and nurses give me and no Gina or Baby Whisperer. For me, while they were helpful, they were more stress than help.

The mumsnet books are great- real dip in and out stuff and really good for a chuckle. I got them from the library as they are pricey and they are only relevant as you go through that phase. I currently have the pregnancy and toddler guides.

I think the sleeping through the night is down to luck. I have friends that I would regard as great mums that regularly lose a couple of hours sleep with a waking toddler/child. Aside from times when he was teething and I had forgotten to give him calpol, my DS has slept through the night since he was 6 months old. Obviously I don't give him coffee or coca cola, but I believe it is luck and I have unreserved sympathy for mums of bad sleepers.

To all knackered people . I am down to a 3 day week. I was spooked at how tired I felt.
On that note, night all

Kyyria I'm so glad you're ok,I was a little concerened when not heard back from you the other day,I was worried I maybe said the wrong thing?? Make sure you rest plenty (3 hr kips sound good to me!) anyway just wanted to say I'm happy you're not at work & enjoying some time with your nipper :)