ladybee lovely to hear from you. My two fed completely differently from each other, and it was a bit daunting at first. DD1 refused to latch on (ever!) so I ended up expressing for her for 6 months, which obviously meant I could always see how much milk she was getting. DD2 just knew how to latch on straight away, but I seemed to be feeding her for ages every day, and it was less predictable. You will work it out, and daycare will have to wait if necessary (I'm sure they will understand - my DDs nursery did / do!). As for telling DS to be quiet etc, that is completely normal. I remember one particularly awful day when DD2 cried from lunchtime to after 7pm, and I just couldn't hear anything DD1 (who was only 2 at the time) was saying to me, because the crying was so loud. In the end we were all crying! It's completely normal to have these moments, and it hasn't scarred my DDs for life, even though it was pretty awful at the time. The one thing I would say is not to "stop" the older child being involved with the baby, just try to "manage" them. E.g. DD1 always wanted to hold DD2, so I always let her (she sat well back on the sofa, and I laid DD2 over her legs), but if it wasn't a suitable time, I would just explain that and tell her when she could cuddle her (then obv. carry that through). Also, I would explain why she had to wait for things - e.g. if she wanted a drink when I was changing a nappy, I would tell her she could have the drink when I had finished, and explain how we always had to change her nappies before getting a drink ourselves when she was a baby, and how if it wasn't changed there would soon be poo / wee everywhere, which wouldn't be nice! We never seem to have had a problem with resentment etc. I'm not saying ours is the only right way, just what worked for us, and I'm sure you'll soon find out what works for you.
cupcake I'm glad you made the arrangements with your SIL, she sounds lovely. I still have to sort out what we're doing. I need a clear hour to get to hospital, and have to be there for 8am, but nursery isn't open until 7.30 at the earliest. My parents were supposed to be coming down, and still assume they are doing, but my mother had a huge go at me on Christmas day, and unfortunately I just don't really want them around now (it was a sort of crowning cherry on an enormous cake of weirdness and seriously off colour comments over the years). I also remember how stressful their "help" was after I had DD2... Also, last time the DDs were left with them, DD1 broke her nose, and one time when they looked after DD2 for 5 minutes, she ended up covered in hot tea, and needing a paramedic....
I have suggested one Z name to DH, but he hasn't agreed yet. He always gets me to write a list and then picks from it, so I'll just have to make sure it's a very short list. I think I should get to decide this time, as it'll be my third CS, and as I remember, they smart a bit!
Need to stop procrastinating now, and go fold washing!