The We Will Brook No Argument for a totally boring and uneventful pregnancy, in which we shall bloom, and a pain-free birth thread, part 3!

[dreamfeeder]

Hands around a mixture of V-shaped pillows, pregnancy pillows, and re-arranges the glittery vom buckets ready.

Gets the jelly snakes going, along with some Cadburys for good measure, and a strategically placed fruit bowl to disguise the unhealthy choices.

Flicks the duster round, sinks down into a comfy sofa and awaits the rest...

Awesome pics Dream - and you DD looks a cutie

Awesome pics Dream - and your DD looks a cutie

Stooopid 'pooter - didn't think it posted the first one!

Biscuits That is the one benefit of an episiotomy as they numb you before they cut you, so then you don't really feel the crowning- or at least I didn't. The part that was least like I expected was the "pushing phase" It seems all the antenatal classes go on and on about the dilation bit and then they just say "and then you'll feel an urge to push, and you will, and then the baby will be born. The end." I was just taken by surprise by the sheer physical effort required- amazed my eyeballs stayed in.

Re crowning, I had a ventouse delivery so had a local anaesthetic just beforehand, but by then it was all numb down there anyway. I also loved pushing as it stopped the contractions from hurting and in general I really loved childbirth. Yes, it was painful and hard work, but I felt a huge sense of achievement and was amazed at what my body could endure! I'm a weirdo and am actually looking forward to doing it again!

Yes - I had to have an episiotomy for the forceps bit Real - but I never felt the 'urge to push'. It was all a bit weird. Everything (books and classes) kept saying 'you'll feel the urge to push' and 'you'll know what to do - just do what your body is telling you' but I never felt that urge.

I honestly don't think he was ever going to come out. The MW eventually suggested that I tried pushing and just do what felt natural - but there was no urge and nothing felt natural so it was just what I thought pushing would be and I was doing it all wrong I think. They always say that the mws try not to tell you how to push as you should be doing what your body tells you but mine was keeping schtum on the subject so she was having to try and coach me and it was frankly a disaster. Plus I was knackered anyway from being awake for about 60 hours by that point.

Honestly? I'm trying to totally forget my last labour and just hope this one goes better

Oh Biscuits sounds like you had a tough time. My body was telling me to push too soon! I had to do it in secret without telling the MW. Eventually she noticed and said I couldn't possibly be ready yet, but when she checked me I was in transition. I know what you mean about it being frustrating though - I pushed for about 2.5 hours and she still wasn't born! They think she was back to back, then turned and finally ended up brow presentation and wouldn't come out. The ventouse repositioned her and I got her straight out - wow what a relief!

Second ones are supposed to be a breeze and I will brook no argument!

Generic Yes, my Obs said "Don't worry. The next one will just fall out"

Biscuits Sorry you had a tough time, and brooking for a much easier second one.

That's why I just want to block the last labour out Generic. A friend of mine had a very similar labour (except hers had started off with induction) and her second was a breeze so I'm having that sort of story this time round thank you very much! Fact.

I kind of think that part of my problem might have been because we weren't even at 37 week but my waters had gone so I'd sort of gone into a somewhat half hearted labour. My contractions started off short but really close together instead of short and far apart getting closer together and longer and nothing quite was how they said it 'should' be. It was like either me or DS weren't quite on the same page about the whole thing.

Still, the thing is, they got him out and he was fine (and I recovered eventually!)

I had a long induction ending in forceps and a cut Biscuits and I am very optimistic that this one will be all fine. Consultant promised me and everything :)

Brooking no arguments on smiley, hippy type birth experience this time apart from induction, monitoring, funny boot things and no water.

Oh, and also, my MIL had a nightmare birth with DH (her first) - similar to mine in the tear etc but way way longer and loads more blood lost etc and her second practically flew out. I've heard rumours of someone having to catch him across the room with a baseball glove .

So I will brook for a better one this time as a back up, but really it's already decided that I'll be calmly sipping a cup of decaf tea and reading the newspaper while someone catches this one.

Would any of you agree to go on One Born Every Minute if they were filming at your hospital while you were there?? (Don't worry - I'm not an under cover OBEM employee who's going to hold you to your answer!!)

Er No.

I've never watched it but I wasn't that keen on DH seeing me like that - no need to put everyone else through it!

Dh was instructed (and extremely happy) to stay away from the business end. It will be the same this time.

How much detail is there on OBEM?

Well they blur out extreme fanjo and bum shots but it's pretty graphic. I am very relieved however that it hasn't put me off!

Definitely not then!

No way, not never, not ever. You'd be hard pushed to get me on the tellybox with an entire wardrobe and make up team, let along flashing my wobbly bits for all and sundry to see!

My only saving thought through the whole thing was that the MWs must have seen it all before so I really didn't care what they thought of it all!

I guess the only reason I would is to see the look on our faces at the moment the baby arrives - it's really very moving to see people's immediate reactions.

But other than that, I'm with you - no way, not never, not ever!

Yes I guess it would be nice to see that bit. But the cameraman would probably have been distracted from my face by the large amount of my innards on the floor

I can't even watch it though so I probably don't have a very balanced view on it all. I'm in total denial about labour.

La la la la la la la

I remember having a conversation with my sis before we had DS (but while I was pg) that we were thinking of perhaps getting a video camera (you know, to record lovely childhood moments like first steps, cute smiles etc) and my sister thought we wanted one to record the birth. Er, no!

I am not keen on being in photos, hate being on video (especially my voice) and really would only ever concede to having one because I want to record the cuteness that is DS.

Well I am glad I haven't upset anyone with my description of crowning, at the time you just get on with it, as I am sure you know, that is what you do with labour anyway. At least for me anyway. It is just the thought of having to do it again is an unpleasant one!

I feel lucky I didn't have to get cut though! And I am surprised so many of you were, I thought it was supposed to be rare these days?

As for the urge to push, I felt like I needed to poo and said so, the MW said you feel the urge to push? And I was like er no I need to poo... Apparently, they are one and the same! And I had to push 'like I was having a poo' so I was told. It worked anyway, she came out.

With OBEM, it depends how much they would pay me the graphicness (made up word?) varied so I guess it depended on the the labouring mum and what she agreed. I didn't mind Dh looking at the business end and we both touched Dds head as she was coming out, (very weird!) I found it did encourage me as I felt the difference as more head was there and it was working.

Christmas emoticons! yay!

I see a lot of boobs and tbh they all look very similar and are not very interesting in themselves. Although the first time I saw hairy boobs was interesting as I didn't expect it. I should imagine MWs feel the same about bits and pieces!

Urgh, labour! biscuits, I'm with you on the la la la la la.... Crowning, ouch ouch ouch, tearing, very ouch... I was only pushing for 15 minutes, and just felt like I needed a poo too!! Was told the same, push like you're trying to do a poo- worked for me. Crowning twice, really don't know if I could do that... Took DD to a group today and met two mums who have twins! Both older, and they were there with younger children, but one had an assisted breech birth, and it sounds awful. I am definitely not keen on that- plus they spent 45 minutes trying to turn the baby in various ways before they tried the breech delivery, which sounds excruciating.... Thinking cs for me now, especially if twin 2 stays breech. She didn't want a VB either, but her labour progressed so fast they didn't have time to prep her for theatre etc, so no epidural for her assisted breech delivery either LA LA LA LA LA

I don't think I could do OBEM, for any money. I watched one when pg with DD and was so upset by it DH has totally and utterly banned it. I don't need to see the expression of my face, I think the emotion of being there was plenty for me, it was so wonderful meeting her...

purple, 2 of my friends were cut recently- I don't think it is very unusual...

Cut wise I think they cut me to use the forceps (although that didn't stop a third degree tear)

I'm of the opinion that if I can get to the hospital then after that I can ignore what's happening and they'll sort me out. I like the idea of being in their hands!

So where are all those first timers today?

I think people who have worse births just like to talk about it more!

That is so true, plus there is always a leetle bit of embellishment (or maybe that's just me ). I did actually have a very normal birth. I think things like episiotomies sound really bad, but I swear this conversation actually happened

Obs: Real, I'm going to do a really small cut to help you get this baby out, ok?
Me: Ok
Obs: I'll do it after the next contraction
Me: Ok
[a few contractions later]
Me: Tell me before you going to do the episiotomy won't you?
Obs: I did it about 2 mins ago

Seriously, it was nothing. I got DS out on the next contraction, placenta out, stitched up and all fine.

absolutely- we just need to talk through the trauma of our first births and remind ourselves it won't be like that again! especially if we wuss out and opt for a CS

My friend had a 12 hour labour with her first, no big tears, she had 2 stitches and they never gave her any pain afterwards, then she popped out her second in a mere 6 hours. My other friend had a homebirth for her first, no tears at all, 7lb 4 baby.