TTC 6 mths+ GRADS THREAD

[Biscuitsandtea]

Afternoon.

I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.

Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.

eleth I met a woman who had twin boys last year after only being told there was one in there. I didn't get to quiz her on how that is possible given all the scans you can get nowadays - especially the 20 week one, you would think the sonographer would notice.

All good here. We just went and looked round the hospital where the baby will arrive. TBH I am thinking sar you have the right idea going for a home birth. It all looked perfectly nice but I couldn't help thinking how much nicer it'd be to be snuggled at home with your newborn rather than in a tiny dark hospital room. Speaking of which sar - any news?!

doll hope all is ok with you and you're recovering.

gin your sweet little girl is absolutely and utterly gorgeous. I hope you have your feet up right now being looked after by MrG and your mum, and are managing with breastfeeding and newborn craziness, and that you're feeling a bit better down under.

My family arrive today for Christmas so going to head out to buy a new shower curtain (of all the random things to need). It's gorgeous and warm here, very strange indeed! Waves to everyone else.

gin wonderful news and I do hope you are well and more comfortable. It might take a while but there is no telling it seems. Each experience of the recovery process, both physically and emotionally, is unique and I guess we all have to see what our own brings.
Thanks for all good wishes critter ele and others. I'm trying to find my new path with the two kids and in a place that's still rather new to me. Have house guests and Little Doll has just finished his school term with 3 weeks off. 3 weeks! Tiny Doll is 7 weeks and is giving me a run for my money too. I doubt I will be back posting before so I hope everyone has a great Christmas. Will be checking for news from sar critter and buz .....

Critter - your hospital but natural birth will be wonderful. Really not long for you now. Christmas sounds like it will be lots of fun this year.

Buzz - sorry you are looking at low placenta issues. It will be wonderful once your baby girl arrives, I predict an easy going baby to compensate for your difficult pregnancy.

gin - hope all is well with you and your gorgous baby. She really is beautiful and hope we might see a few more piccies soon.

Doll - wow you have your hands full. Wishing you an extra special christmas.

Well im 40+4 now. Apart from mild twinges and mild period pains no sign of labour. I have just got back from the midwife, she performed a sweep which i have to say didnt hurt. She says im 1 cm or 1 finger dilated, can feel the babys head and bag of water, so thats something. Labour could come any time but there is talk of induction at the enddof december. If that happens I wont get my home birth so trying to stay positive.

sar I had a sweep at 1cm too, I hope it moves things along for you. I was already contracting at the time (as seen at a non stress test not that I could feel) and was in active labour 6 or 8 hours later. Anyway it all seems so hard to tell the way it will go down. Do stay positive, in all likelihood this will work out in the coming days. Thinking of you.

Thanks doll - that does give me hope x

doll house guests and a 7 week old baby and a toddler all far from home - you are a legend. I don't know how you are managing it but it sounds pretty exhausting. I hope you're getting lots of help and that the guests don't need too much looking after. It sounds knackering, especially given that you haven't been well.

sar I hope your little one arrives soon and that in the meantime you are being looked after and can rest as much as possible - not always easy at Christmas. They say 41 weeks is due date for first babies in France, and my midwives told me that 80% of first babies arrive after 40 weeks (no idea if that's correct or not). I really really hope that you get to have your home birth and will be crossing everything for you that the baby does the decent thing and makes an appearance shortly. It sounds really stressful having to wait.

Just popping in quickly to say a big thank you for the congrats and to wish you all a super Xmas (sar will you make your Xmas dinner?! V excited for you). I can't believe how much life has changed in the gin household in the last year, esp the last week! Knackering but totally amazing! Big luffs to everyone x

sar really keeping my fingers crossed you get your homebirth - remember, they can only suggest induction, it is always your choice, just make sure you do your research so you know the pros and cons of waiting for natural labour vs induction.

Wishing you all a very merry christmas - we've just piled far too many xmas presents under the tree and put out our little boy's 'plate' for santa (homemade biscuit he done today, cup of milk, 2 pictures sealed up in envelopes and a carrot for the reindeer (oh and a pot of fruit puree - he selected it all) - got to love seeing xmas through the eyes of someone (my 4 year old) who strongly believes in santa :-D

gin enjoy your xmas baby time - the best gift ever!

Thinking of you all, wherever you are.

Gin - hope you are feeling a little less sore. You really had a time of it with her birth, you should be very proud of yourself.

Thanks for all the reassurance about going over the due date. Each day drags but I know the baby will be born. Im sure I am in pre labour due to mild lower back and groin ache especially today, just need it to rev up now.

Hope everyone had a wonderful christmas.

Sorry - very very self centred post coming up.......have succumb to very nasty flu and sore throat. Having millions of painless contractions which are doing nothing. And cant have an antenatal checkup / sweep due to clinics being closed over christmas. Very uncomfortable and dont know where to put self. Just cant see this baby coming out. Im nearly 40+9. Sorry again, please ignore my ramblings.

Sorry you're feeling so ill and a bit crapSar but you still have a bit of time yet before you have to think about giving up on your homebirth and it could start at any time (your body certainly sounds as if its ready to start work)

Totally rubbish about the flu and sore throat tho (especially when you can't take any decent drugs :-(

Sending you lots of 'speedy labour' wishes - come on baby sar - you can do it!!!

Oh sar you poor thing. I would also be climbing the walls - I can imagine how frustrating and stressful this period is. I bet you are extremely uncomfortable too. You are not being self-centred at all, it sounds like a hugely anxiety-inducing time. At our antenatal classes, two of the women who came in to share their stories in our last class (who'd been in the previous class) had their babies at 40 +12 after acupuncture, long walks, pineapple, curry, you name it. One said she was booked to be induced the next day and the baby arrived just in time. It is infuriating that the clinic is closed, I think you're being incredibly patient and managing really well. Hang in there lovely. You have waited so long, little war is only days away now.

Little sar not little war. Sorry, stupid autocorrect.

Oh sar, it must be very frustrating but your baby will come honey. I've heard that flu like symptoms can be the start of labour and I had tonnes of BHs just before my waters went. Bit crap they won't do any antenatal appts over Xmas... But you will get there and baby sar will be here any day x

When I have more time, I must come on here for a moan about my BF troubles. It's not going v well at the mo :( But ginster is adorable.

Also cluster posting to say eleth I loved the story of your little guy leaving out presents for Santa, I can't wait to experience Christmas through the eyes of a little person.

gin I saw on the other thread that you're still recovering and having a rough time with breastfeeding, really hope everything settles down and that you are being looked after and able to get some rest.

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas. My family were here and despite getting stressed by hosting, I had a really really lovely time. Very excited for next year when there will be a small person crawling about. Am now 36 + 2 and still basically feeling ok but beginning to see how being pregnant could get old in 4 weeks' time - poor sar.

buzz hope you're feeling ok.

art hope the Christmas in-law situation went alright.

Love to princess - I think it's your birthday soon? Hope it's a great one.

doll sending you get well wishes and sanity for managing to host with your newborn and toddler.

Waves to lemon, teu, and mellow, and everyone else I have missed.

sar sorry you are feeling so unwell and overwhelmed by it all, I can't believe they haven't booked you any appointments this close to your EDD +2 weeks, the hospital has to be open, women have babies everyday, I would contact your midwife tomorrow or actually turn up there and see what they can offer you

Hello all

Hope everyone has had an excellent Christmas. Ele I am really looking forward to the Santa Claus years! We had a lovely time, quiet and relaxed and no in-law trauma which is a result in my book!

sar judging by comments on t'other place I think there may be news... Really looking forward to hearing about it when you are able to post and I really hope you got the home birth you wanted.

Gin I'm sure your xmas has been extra special! Moan away about BFing. I found it really hard at first and tbh feeding on my right side is still uncomfortable now. I've had the works - problems with latch, baby losing weight, blocked ducts, painful engorgement, cracked nipples... I persevered through sheer bloodymindedness but only managed with support from the baby cafe people - worth finding your local one if you haven't already. I found the HV and GP pretty useless. My GP advised me to stop BFing when I went to him with blocked ducts which would have made the situation 10 times worse. Happy to share my painfully acquired knowledge if you want to PM!

I need to go and turf Mr A out of the bath if we're ever going to eat tonight. Festive hugs to all

ooooh sar

art thanks for the advice re slings, I haven't had much time to look but need to get a move on

critter glad you had a lovely time with your family, how long are they staying for ??

Hope others have had nice festive time , I had a lovely Christmas with the outlaws, I must be one of the few women on MN who can stand her inlaws :) they had their usual 'daily fail' rant but they were all very nostalgic about when Barry was a baby thought FIL was going to shed a tear about it, MIL does a very funny impersonation of a baby crying, they are excited about next year, even the aunt has offered to help out when she can, have been catching up with overseas friends, have a MW appointment tomorrow then another NCT catch up, I only have one more mince pie left

Oooh - does this mean another 10 plus baby has arrived safe and sound?

Can't wait for the update (but please, don't rush away from your baby to satiate my nosiness :-D

Just in time for new year - how fab!

buzzy so glad you get on with your inlaws - must make life so much less stressful (speaking as soneome who would happily not see them from one year to the next, but sadly never gets that opportunity....)

Hello all, yes it is true. Baby girl sar arrived on saturday. Don't want to put too much detail here in case of outing self but info on t'other place. Anyone who wants to be friends on t'other place and not already just message me.

The birth was not what I expected but I am truly happy with how it went, all be it traumatic.

Waters went on friday evening in bed although not gushing. But they had the dreaded meconium in them and a lot of it. So straight away the home birth was off the cards as the baby was potentially distressed. Because this was such a black and white issue, accepting hospital care was easy and I accepted the situation straight away.

I was monitored immediately and both mine and baby's obs were worrying due to the meconium and my rapid heart rate which was flu mixed with labour. We were bumped up the que for induction and sent straight to the delivery suite. I was already in pre labour but they needed to move me to established labour fast so i was given a stonking stretch snd sweep (ouch) to start me off followed by the "evil drip" to quote gin. No pessary as slimy waters would have dissolved it. I opted for no pain relief, then used the gas and air. I was strongly advised by all the midwives to have an epidural due to the nature of back to back contractions with the cranked up induction drip and due to the distress of my own heart and bp from the flu. I also thought about what gin said. I agreed and totally needed it as found the contracting agony as I was unable to move or control my own body. Only 1 half was actually numbed properly but I enjoyed the remaining reduced pain I could feel so it worked out well. I was dilating quickly but a little later the baby's heart rate dropped dangerously low due to the speed of progress. They stopped the drip to take pressure off baby and had to hope i continued contracting on my own at a more natural steady pace otherwise would need a c section. Luckily I continued gentle contractions so labour was still progressing and the baby stabilised. At this point baby had a clip on her head to help monitoring. The drip was re started gently and I continued in labour although as I was so sick I had also been given loads of iv saline and paracetamol. Eventually my bp dropped too low and lots of people came in to help. Thankfully the baby's obs continued fine but I was given bp correction drugs. I approached transition with typical shivering although I was told I wouldn't experience transition with an epi. It took about 10 hours to go from 1 to 10 cm dilated and I was told to start pushing but expect forceps as I wasn't expected to have the strength to push. I was lucky as I did manage to push her out and could feel lots of sensation, even some ring of fire. Apparently im told im a good pusher but dont know where I got that talent from. Our baby girl whoosed out and was immediately alert and calm.

I shook and vomited for the first 1.5 hours of her life and couldn't really hold her but later started to come around. Stayed in for 1 night to monitor us both. She was always fine and had not swallowed the meconium and I perked up quickly. Bf is going well.....too well, she loves it and tells me what to do but as a result we have humongous and regular poos and cluster feeding with little to no sleep for me.

We have had lots of family visitors today which was lovely but a bit too long. Dont mind as feel so lucky to have her and for her to be so loved by others but hoping for a quiter day tomorrow.

She looks nothing like me and I find her quite fascinating. She is a cool cucumber but plenty of time for changes to occur in her yet.

sorry for the selfish post. Thinking of you all in the midst of family Christmas kerfuffls, bf troubles and late pregnancy niggles.

Congrats sar and well done you! I can't believe you went through all that with the flu. Sorry to hear you had the evil drip too- sounds like it affected mini S the same way it did ginster. I am so so pleased for you that your little girl is safely here. Enjoy those special cuddles with your gorgeous girl and make sure you rest when you can. If I were to do it again, I'd ban all visitors for the 1st 2 weeks, except for my mum, the baby whisperer. Make sure you do what is best for your new family. I hope you are feeling a bit recovered now and the flu has cleared. Lots of love xx

Congrats Sar! Beautiful pics on the other place! She's a little beauty :) Sorry to hear things didn't go as you'd hoped and that you've had flu to boot. Crikey, you're a strong lady. I remember the cluster feeding and several poo nappies a day. I still can't believe it whizzed by so quickly . I remember getting to 10 each night and mini princess would literally turn into some sort of feral beast for about 30 mins to an hour of headbutting my boobs, desperately trying to feed but also being very sleepy. It does calm down. Not easy when you're exhausted. But she's here! Another tear has welled for another baby. So precious! Lots of love to you and your little family xxxxx

Critter you remembered my birthday :) I'm really touched :) lots of rl people didn't but that's ok, I don't have my birthday on facebook and I didn't organise a gathering of friends and it's an awkward time of year for others but I love it! Glad you had a great Xmas and you hosted at 36 weeks pregnant: amazing! We're still trying to figure out how to do Xmas next year as this year rendered us weeping and exhausted!!! Everyone wants a slice of baby and even when I said no to a gathering out of sheer exhaustion we ended up going on the day because I felt guilty! I'm not liking this new festive guilt. I felt like mini p was Xmas to most people because she's a small person.... Not taking her places or saying no to gatherings is like cancelling Xmas. This year I was effectively like a lily liveried grinch...

Gin hope all is well. Sorry to hear about the bf woes. I second the breastfeeding cafés / drop in clinics. I used the drop in for when I had a cracked nipple. Our bf councillor is lovely and down to earth and she helps at one of the groups I go to and has lots of great advice. Great that your mum is a baby whisperer! I'm jealous!

Ele I loved your story about DS1 and Santa! I can't wait! Mini princess was just baffled by paper wrapped toys and really just wanted to eat labels and bows! She was actually quite overwhelmed by all of it but seems to be enjoying her new toys now.

Buzz lovely that you get on with your in laws and had a great Xmas. Hope you're feeling ok. Not long to go now :) Sounds like you're keeping busy and doing lots of nice stuff.

Merry Xmas Everyone! Sorry I didn't get on in time to say it at the proper time, our feet haven't touched the ground since 20th what with visiting relatives and getting sorted for Xmas. We were not organised, rather Mr P, was not organised this year which wiped out all fun family time pre crimble. And we had some huge rows tis the season to be jolly But we now have a week before he goes back to work and we're heading home today. So we're going to enjoy our mini break, with no pressure, a lot. We've made a compromise that next year I will have a bit lower expectations and he will be a bit more organised. And we've got lots of nice lazy plans for this week.

Well, I'm another year older . Twas my birthday yesterday. I had a lovely relaxed day with loads of nice food and some lovely presents but unfortunately mini princesses top teeth have decided to make an appearance and so I was greeted with red cheeks and screaming when she woke up and this continued until 8pm when she finally managed to conk out, exhausted. Everyone really pitched in to help and play with her but she's very clingy again and only really wanted me. I didn't mind. It was lovely to wake up and to watch her sleep, the best birthday present really :)

Right, I'm going to grab a shower whilst the goings good and the baby is still sleeping.

Enjoy the newborn snuggles Sar! Love to all! It's nearly. 2014 (how the crapping hell did that happen ?!)

Wow sar that sounds intense. You sound like you've managed what was actually a really really tough labour with grace and strength. Having flu and nasty drugs sounds pretty rotten to be honest - you are amazing for getting through it. I am so glad that your little girl is here at last, and that she's feeding well so far - but I also really hope you get some time to recover from the flu and the birth. I am sure MrSar is looking after you, but don't get too tired out with the visitors, you need your rest right now, and to have time with mini sar to bond.

buzz your in laws sound very sweet with how excited they are about the baby. How lovely to have such a great relationship with them - it sounds like they really care about you too, which is awesome. My family left on Saturday and I felt a little flat yesterday, but on the plus side they will be back after the baby arrives. It was lovely having them but also quite emotional as we all miss each other and I live so far away. Have you found that being about to have a baby is making you homesick at all? I am finding this a strange time, not bad exactly but a bit odd - there are only a few weeks before the baby arrives and I'm so aware of how everything is about to change forever, yet I know nothing about this little person or how to be its mother yet.

eleth hope your Christmas was lovely - and New Year in Scotland sounds perfect. I always think it's very civilised that the Scots have January 2 as a holiday too!

gin sorry to hear about breastfeeding woes. I am a bit scared about that, from what I have heard it is not easy and as straightforward as it looks. I hope you're being looked after and getting lots of calm time with ginster and getting some sleep. I will definitely remember your advice about visitors when the time comes. I am really bad about hosting and get stressed when I have lots of people over - I love having people stay but I also find it quite tiring unless they are people I know will get their own tea and wash their own dishes, if you see what I mean.

art really glad the in law situation on Christmas went so well. The breastfeeding sounds really tricky - well done for persevering. I will definitely remember what you said about getting support, when the time comes for me to try it. Right now I can't imagine how I am going to produce a food source for the baby, even though I know it's what my body is designed to do.

Love and early morning insomniac waves to everyone else - princess I think you have a birthday around now, happy birthday! doll hope that your guests were helpful and that you're having a break - a newborn and a toddler sound knackering.

princess xpost, I forgot I had already posted about your birthday, doh! Glad it was lovely but sorry about the exhausting Christmas. People love babies and children around this time of year but it does put pressure on you, especially as you are the one who has to deal with a tired baby after a day of excitement. And sorry to hear about the rows, but I think it's normal. I had some rows too with my family, even though it was all in all wonderful having them, I think there's just a lot riding on everything being perfect around Christmas and if you incline towards feeling guilty about it not being perfect (which I do) then things get stressful. So glad you're still loving watching your little girl sleep - at the moment I am feeling nervous about all the scary things motherhood entails so it's lovely to be reminded about why we all went through so much to get to this point!

sar congrats she is beautiful :) it seems that most people don't seem to get the birthing experience they had planned/hoped for, as long as you are both ok,

princesshappy belated birthday :) sorry you had such a stressful time, I wouldn't worry about others and their expectations at Christmas, it is only one day and you shouldn't feel guilty about it, you are not responsible for them

doll hope all is ok with you

critter There was a programme on TV about home, it did make make me very homesick miss the lifestyle I love, Barry and I do talk about going home, I would love to go especially on days like today when the weather is so vile and people on FB are putting up beach photos :(

I think on the baby front it is scary as you are stepping into the unknown,to be honest before Xmas, I used to chat on another thread but they have moved onto baby talk and I found the whole thing depressing and totally freaked me out about having this baby, it didn't fill me with confidence, I actually sat on my bed and cried as I felt I didn't actually want to be a mother, but I believe the best you can do is make the most of it and enjoy it no matter what happens, I'm looking at this as a whole new adventure in our lives.
I think worrying about everything that is happening can spoil your time with your baby. I think too much information is a bad thing as it will always contradict what you have read/heard somewhere before and obsessing about things can feed into your fears/worries and won't help you or your baby.

ele on the inlaw front, if we didn't see them then we wouldn't have any family other than ourselves, I have nothing to do with my toxic family who don't live near by anyway, I also wouldn't want to make Barry feel awkward about seeing his family, I think they are totally dysfunctional and live in a bubble of denial, but that is who they are and they mean well in their own funny way, I've worked hard at managing my MIL and thankfully it has paid off.
My sister and I grew up with no other family around which was a shame at times, I wouldn't want minibee to be so isolated

oh critter you can actually start to stroke your boobs and things will happen if you want to give that a try before d day :)

Well had appointment yesterday, minibee is 3/5th engaged and really moving about with force, MW thinks I could have a normal birth but I'm seeing the consultant next week, I'm not bothering with a birthing plan seems pointless but do need to get my hospital bag finished and in the car :)

Well I am supposed to be going out for lunch soon so better get going now where did I put my waders