TTC 6 mths+ GRADS THREAD

[Biscuitsandtea]

Afternoon.

I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.

Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.

To all diffed women worrying about weightgain - please try not to. You pile on the pounds in 9 months but you have the rest of your natural life to lose it (if you want to).

Really, 2.5-3 stone is pretty common, when you get to 4 or 5 stone gain you might be a bit worried, but even then you just tackle it after. My friend (who's a skinny malink) gained 5 stone in her last pregnancy, I met her when the kids were 6 months old and she'd already lost 4 stone (she attended slimming world). Maybe its just cos I was so ill in both of mine at the beginning that when I was eventually able to eat, I stuffed my face like a starving pig (still am, but really need to stop now - maybe after my birthday....) and refused to feel guilty :-)

euro love your appetite for 'beige' foods - i was exactly the same first time round, in fact I literally couldn't stomach anything healthy (or water - was appallingly constipated as a result). In fact I remember having a bit of melon once (it was yummy) and shouting to Mr E, I've had the melon, it's stayed down and this might be a good way of getting fluids in me - he walked towards me and I barfed the lovely melon... At that point I realised that beige foods were the only foods for me :-D

I'd never had the hot stones massage before but it was lovely, will definitely be having it again - and you're right 15 quid was a total bargain, but even her full price of 38 quid for 90 minutes is pretty good.

buzzy so nice that babybee is happy to take the boob (on her terms - which I admire a lot :-D) must make it so much more relaxing - long may you continue to enjoy it:-)

Hamish had horrible temp yesterday and wasn't well at all (spent the night in a nappy only with no sheets and was still 39 degrees. So took him to docs today and he's got a chest infection. My heart sunk, not because a chest infection is that bad, but because I knew it meant antibioitics multiple times a day and so far giving him calpol involves both me and Mr E wrestling him into submission (not pleasant for anyone).

Howevevr, I managed to give him a dose of paracetamol and his antibioitcs on my own today (he still wasn't happy - but at least wasn't ballistic). I don't understand it, DS1 loved calpol (and all its variants) he'd have had it every night if he could just for the taste!

Typical that he's got it now though, I'm a big 42 tomorrow and we were planning on going out for lunch (me and Mr E and Hamish) not sure if he'll make enough progress overnight for that to be a goer - ah well...

Thanks Ele. One of my good friends put on 5 stone with her first and lost it in fairly short order, so I know it can be done. I am just usually quite good at controlling my appetite, but at the moment when I feel hungry I just can't get food in my face fast enough! It's completely unlike me.

I hope Hamish gets better and you can enjoy your birthday tomorrow.

buzz the relaxed approach sounds like it is working for both of you. :)

euro Being relaxed makes a big difference to both of us, they say your baby needs to feel that you are confident with what you are doing, I'm just blagging my way through this, to be honest we haven't really been tested as so far she has been a relatively easy baby

ele happy birthday for tomorrow sorry poor H is not well, Idread the having to medicate a baby,BB [Babybee] won't take infacol without a struggle sometimes, then spits it out, hope he recovers soon

Buzz - So happy the relaxed approach is working for both of you. Breastfeeding was really hard for me at first and it completely stressed me out. Once I got a bit more relaxed (and confident!), things just started working a lot better. Those vibrating chairs are really the best - Minisweets loves his! I'm glad the baby massage class was so enjoyable.

ele - thanks for letting me know I am not the only one with a pram-hating infant. I am so sorry H is sick. In case I don't get the chance to let you know - Happy Birthday for tomorrow!

Euro - We're going to south-western France. I might have to take a train to see the catacombs though - your pictures of them were fantastic.

The catacombs were creepy but well worth a visit. Will you be within reach of Carcassonne? If so, that is worth a visit. My ILs have a house about an hour away from there we love the area.

ele lucky you with the massage - that sounds wonderful. happy birthday for tomorrow.

sea so sorry about the nausea, do hope it will ease off for you - how far are you along now?

sweet have a lovely lovely time in SW France. Sounds fantastic.

sar really hope mini sar is ok.

I too am loving the baby stories - even though I am sorry to hear of illness, sleeping difficulties, screaming, head bashing and boob refusal. Hope it's not too stressful.

I'm going to see a new mum next week and taking round dinner, probably a vegetable lasagne. I was thinking of taking a couple of other dishes for her to freeze and eat later with her DH. But it's an hour away so I am concerned the usual shepherds pie and anything with meat in isn't such a smart plan. Freshly cooked that day vegetarian stuff in a cool bag should be all right though right?

I'm about 16 weeks. We told my inlaws - it went better than expected so that was nice. Still unreal. Next scan is at about 19 weeks. Maybe it will be more real then.

free I forgot about your IL's I'm sure a meat dish in a cool bag will be fine, I'm sure they will be grateful that you thought to cook for them

free just to add that when I was a new mum my sister used to come up and visit and bring lunch and it was fantastic! There really is nothing nicer when you have a new baby than someone else turnign up with home cooked food - if your friend doesn't already think you're a star, she will when you present her with veggie lasagne :-)

Ooh so much to catch up on! I second Ele you're pregnant, you will gain weight, just go with it. I don't know how much I gained as I was never weighed but was "really quite big by the end" to quote MrTeu. On the reverse I've been given a month to gain some weight as mini Teu has eaten me alive. Doc is seriously worried about how much I've lost. Hey ho.
Euro the breathless thing is a bugger. I thought I was so terribly unfit but then I realised my heart was trying to pump up to 40% more blood. You just have to slow down I'm afraid. Get used to it now because you won't be going very fast by the end! Think of it as the first step in training to lowering your expectations.
Buzzy Well done for persevering. Took us 6 or so weeks to get to grips with it. Also if she finds it difficult she will just be getting exhausted = short feeds = not satisfied. Not a sucessful mix.
Bland is the way to go with foods. I used to eat every meal in two gos, and really struggled with fruit and veg. Cauliflower was totally off the menu. Added a fibre enhanced fruit juice to breakfast and switched to Sultana Bran for cereal (still eating that now my poor undercarriage).
Lovely to read all the chat. Sorry I'm still hopeless at name checking. By the way this is a link my AN group were given, I've found the Timelines really useful. www.thealphaparent.com/2013/03/timeline-of-challenging-early-childhood.html
Bed is calling, could be a tough night, mini Teu has a cold and is teething. Poor mite, nearly made me cry settling him back earlier.

but I want to go to the gym!

I hope mini-Teu didn't have too bad a night.

Marking my space as I lost you... Will catch up properly tomorrow!

The gym, euro, you can but take it a bit easy! Don't expect too much. I have gotten large and slow over the past few weeks...

I actually made it to the gym for the first time since December yesterday! The breathlessness has eased a bit (thanks Spatone!) but I found it quite hard. I usually push myself quite hard and so found it a bit pointless to just do everything "moderately". The problem is that my heartrate always skyrockets with exercise, even when I am pretty fit (some people are just like that apparently) so I feel I need to be quite careful not to overdo it. Centime had a BIG stretching session afterwards, so I think getting the blood pumping woke him/her up!

But it was frankly nice to have the energy to do something other than flop on the sofa and groan in the evening! I am definitely starting to feel a bit more like my usual self this week (coming up to 15 weeks). The nausea is easing too, and my appetite is normalising. The only thing that is still problematic is tooth brushing - that still makes me retch every time.

Euro
Glad you made it to the gym. I look forward to being able to do some activities.
Re toothbrushing I have been brushing with my electric toothbrush without toothpaste, flossing and using mouthwash. I was throwing up really badly everytime I brushed and my dentist suggested just brushing wo paste. Apparently it's not really necessary to clean teeth especially if you use a good electric toothbrush.
Waves to everyone.

euro so great you made it to the gym and amazing that you can feel Centime already. I have felt nothing yet. I am 17 weeks today. Next scan 2 weeks tomorrow. If she's still got a heart beat and all is ok, I will be telling friends. Although I told one friend i see weekly who was aware of our problems and who is at the 18 month TTC mark herself (which I remember being really tough) and just started assisted conception processes, and she cried. I felt pretty bad about it, and wish I had handled it better but an email just seemed so weird as we see each other weekly. We've seen each other since and it has been ok. Will stick to emails for everyone else.

sea so sorry you are still feeling unwell. I hope the w/o toothpaste has improved things.

teuchter hope mini-teu is on the mend

Sarlat any news on baby sar's kidneys? hope it is nothing too serious.

free I can't feel movement - just lots of stretching! About once a day, centime has a stretching session. I'm looking forward to the flutters. A friend gets them around 15-16 weeks, but I think that is unusually early, particularly for a first.

I'm sorry that your friend cried. The 18 month mark is really tough. It sounds like she has come to terms with it though. I've told most people now. Close friends already knew as they about the IVF. We told family a couple of weeks ago, after the 12 week scan. There isn't really much hiding it now anyway. I have a noticeable bump (it looks fat rather than pregnant but anyone who has known me for a while would know that I am a bit paranoid about letting the pounds pile on!).

sea I will give that a go. I can't floss either - I can't get my hands into my mouth without gagging. I have been using the interdental brushes though. I can manage those.

I hope all is well with the other grads and their minis.

Euro - excellent news about centime moving and glad you are feeling slightly less icky.

Thanks for all the support. Baby sars kidneys are functioning normally although not a normal shape. For now it is a watchful wait approach. I am very relieved.

She is on the boob right now, sorry for quick post.

sea I forgot about the brushing without toothpaste (I did that too) - it does make a difference, as does an electric toothpaste. When things started to get better, I started brushing at night with toothpaste but just no toothpaste and moutwash in the morning (morning gagging sessions were always worst!)

euro slightly jealous of you feeling movement (I used to love feeling flutters, but I think mine were closer to 22 or 23 weeks before I started feeling anything (maybe I just passed it all off as wind until then?)

free so sorry about your friend, but glad she's been okay since, I'm sure it was just the initial shock/disappointment/jealousy/hurt (that we'd all have felt in that situation) that caused her tears, really hoping she doesn't have to wait much longer for her own good news. And I'm not sure there is anything you could have done to have handled it better, it's just the situation.

Don't have much time as I'm exhausted from double lurgy just now. Hamish is just nearing the end of his week of antibiotics (turned out he had a chest infection - wee soul) and today, DS1 has picked up some tummy bug, so been dealing with his pooh and vomit all day (the glamour of motherhood...) Starting to feel a bit stir crazy - we did get out at weekend for my birthday (Hamish's temperature had stabilised by then) but my only dose of fresh air today was nipping down to the chinese takeaway (terrible I know, but I really fancied a meal someone else had cooked!) and I reckon I'll have another cooped up day tomorrow.

Ah well, hope everyone else is keeping fine!

Phew about baby sar's kidneys, keeping everything crossed she stays doing well.

Quick waves from exhaustion-land. I have no idea how I am going to survive til leave. I did not sleep much again last night and got told I look like death earlier today, charming, now?

sar great news about baby sars kidneys

euro I didn't really feel movement till about 21 weeks, I too like eleput other things down to wind I found the breathlessness got worse later on in the pregnancy, bending down cut of my air supply

ele sorry about the boys not being well, its hard when you can't get out, a change of scenery makes a big difference

sea yeah tooth brushing was tough, it did get better as time went on

teu I hope mini teu is feeling better

Well we went round to one of the NCT girls house today when BB managed to do one of the biggest and runniest poos ever. Took me ages to clean her up baby massage tutor has suggested we try the next class in a few weeks, BB and a couple of other babies like to cause trouble scream the place down

sar what a relief about mini-sar's kidneys. so glad to hear it.

sar that's great news.

Ele I hope the better weather helps recovery all round!

buzz euw at the poorly timed poosplosion!

I can't wait to feel movement. I hope it will make it all feel more real.

sar that's great news about baby sars kidneys, sorry for not mentioning this earlier, think my last post must have x posted with your update.

Well, my week got worse illness wise, after DS1 picked up a horrible tummy bug - he passed it onto me, so I spent the whole of thursday night (until 6am friday morning) going to the loo every hour or so - it was horrible - I honestly can't remember the last time I felt so ill for so long- coulnd't sleep at all, and felt awful the next day.

My tummy still doesn't feel right, but that might be a good thing as I'm hoping to start my diet class on monday night so going in there with an off-colour appetite might help me!

buzzy I remember taking DS1 to baby massage and for the first few weeks, I think ended up spending most of the class bfeeding him! I'm sure I spent more time massaging the 'dummy' baby they had in the class rather than massaging my own baby (the class was at 10am and DS1 used to sleep then, so if he didn't take a feed he snoozed!) I used to be very jealous of a couple of other women there whose babies seemed angelic every visit (and really used to lap it up). I was never asked to leave the class though (your teacher is maybe a bit precious???)

Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the weekend (proper sunshine today - it was great (even if all I did was look at it through the window!)

Hello all,
I'm so sorry we dropped off the planet, its just been hectic with illness and starting back at work. Poor babyM has had a series of horrible high fever viral illnesses, it feels like good week/bad week for about the last 6 weeks. That, coupled with starting back at work, getting all the viruses as well and trying to sort out a routine has been exhausting!
All the chat about fat and weight gain is interesting - I piled on the weight in the first 16 weeks (beige food is a life saver!), but then barely gained any at all after that in comparison. I think I put on a couple of stone in total. I'm now 2kg over my ideal weight (but probably weigh what I did for the few months pre pregnancy, clomid etc is not kind to your body!), but I can't shift those last few kg - I've heard that when I stop breast feeding it will go, so I'm not worrying about it. I am back in pre pregnancy clothes though. I walk LOTS and run at the weekends when MrM can have babyM - very nice me time!

I'm sorry I'm not name checking, but I've missed so much! I know there has been chat about breastfeeding (so hard to establish! and now my little monkey won't take bottles and I can't get him to stop )
Chat about bolshy babies - they are cheeky monkeys!
At 8 months post baby I'm now starting to wonder when to start trying again - it took so long the first time and I'm not getting any younger and don't think I have the luxury of 'timing' it like so many of my friends.

Movement - I was feeling it from 16 weeks, I know because the I felt it during a scan and could see babyM moving on the screen - without that confirmation, I wouldn't have known thats what it was - makes me wonder if later pregnancies feel it earlier because they know what to feel? It is so amazing when you can feel baby kick, I missed it and my bump for ages after the baby was here - so odd!

I also spent most of the baby massage classes breastfeeding. Also baby sensory classes cuddling a sleeping baby. Most of those classes in the first wee while are definitely for our benefit rather than the baby's benefit!

ele sorry to hear about illness in your house - it is so miserable isn't it!
sar sorry to hear about stressful kidney watching, fingers crossed for positive outcome.

ele that sounds like an awful bug. I hope it is out of your system now.

mrsm my midwife said I probably could feel movements now, but was not recognising them as movements, and that people second time around say they feel them earlier but are really recognising them earlier. Interesting!

I'm 16 weeks now and had my mw check yesterday. All seems to be well and I heard the heartbeat (after a bit of searching about!). We could also hear swooshes that my mw identified as limb movements although I couldn't feel them. I don't think centime likes ultrasounds or the doppler - he/she looks like he/she is trying to bat them away!