TTC 6 mths+ GRADS THREAD

[Biscuitsandtea]

Afternoon.

I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.

Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.

Not love birth, live birth, damn phone and damn fuzzy brain.

Near brizzle in a totes bad hotel up since 5am due to ravenous disturbed baby and fecking car alarm...zzzz

Can I squeeee again for gin

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

gin! Hurrah, it's all stations go! Awake at 4am here and sending you SO much love, strength and luck as you get ready to meet your little girl. You can do this! I hope it all goes brilliantly and I can't wait to hear that you're snuggled up with a gorgeous little newborn, being pampered with tea and toast, in a few hours.

sar I was thinking about you yesterday - the evacuation of your body sounds promising - doesn't that often happen pre labour? I know you're not far behind gin… PS I love that you overshare, as a massive oversharer myself.

princess and eleth I can't believe your stories about relatives not giving you your tiny babies back when you've politely asked them and told them they are hungry. Clinging on! Bloody hell, where do some people get off? I would be fuming. Luckily I don't think my MIL would dare!

Wow gin that's so exciting - can't wait to hear your new baby arrival - fingers crossed your induction goes without incident!

What a great way to see out the year (with lots of xmas 10 plus babies - Sar - you're next, your symptoms so far sound very very promising :-)

Critter, yes Mr E had told me to expect mad inlaws but I wasn't really prepared (prior to my son being born, i only saw them a few times a year) needless to say we've had none of that nonsense this time (mind you, this time I've not even visited them since Hamish was born, we've told them it's better if they come here, so they see him for an hour once a month (and they only have themselves to blame....)

Conversely, when my first was 6 weeks old, a lot of my aunties/cousins came for a wee 'do' at my parents house to meet him, he was going through a growth spurt then (feeding every hour) and I just left him being handed round (as I socialised) and every hour someone would give him to me, saying 'I think he's hungry' he wasn't even crying, but clearly they understood the signs that hungry babies make - reinforces my belief that my family is way better than his (might be another reason why I've never managed to take Mr E's surname - kept meaning to and thought I would when my son starts school (next august) but now I'm thinking I might not...

critter how are things with your bump? are you keeping well and looking forward to the xmas season?

Gin any news?!

Yes sar, you're next!

Eleth that sounds so nice about your relatives coming over. In the US that's known as a 'sip and see' when people come over for a sort of party to sip drinks and see the baby. It is a Southern thing, apparently. I've always thought it sounded nice!

All is well here, I had a blissful Sunday, woke up at 3am and was up till 7, but then went back to sleep until 10am. Then Pilates, a walk and finishing the little cardigan I have knitted. I am so proud of it! I've spent a lot of the day lying on the sofa looking like a big sea lion, and skyping with my mum and sister. Mr C got back from a work trip yesterday so we had lots of time to hang out together too, which was lovely, I missed him. My family are coming for Christmas next Saturday too which will be wonderful.

critter "sip and see" that's a great name for a lovely idea, definitely have one of them if you can (flights etc, permitting .

You sound as if you're having a great weekend with a lovely christmas lined up too - you sound so happy and content which is wonderful I love the sealion analogy (visions of someone standing nearby and throwing you chocolate (fish) :-)

We had a less exciting weekend as we decided we had to start getting the house cleaner/tidier before putting up the xmas tree and decorations. We don't normally do housework (well, non-essential stuff, generally its just laundry, cooking and wiping down kitchen surfaces with the odd hoover (the cats make the hoovering a more regular necessity). So the house has been a tip for a while, sadly after spending a few hours tidying and getting it okay, our back room looked immediately like a tip again as DS1 went hunting for somethign in his toybox - taking out everythign as he did so.... (still, we know that its clean underneath the mess....)

doll how are you and the doll family getting on? Are you all okay?

gin and sar sending you both good wishes for your forthcoming (perhaps already finished?!) labours

Eleth - well done on the clean up. I agree clean underneath. Sure your house looks fab.

Critter - am in awe at cardigan making skills, well done you. Your christmas sounds wonderful and thoroughly deserved.

Well another insommnia night rolls on. There has been some mild increase in pre labour activity such as very mild period pains, slightly stabby braxton hicks and I actually felt baby sink further down in the pelvis on 2 occassions. Was hit by sudden exhaustion yesterday. But nothing of real meaning to say baby will be here very soon.

gin -I am thinking of you and hoping you are tucked up with little gin in true babymoon style. Hope you are feeling well sweetheart.

doll - I know you have your hands full but hope all is well with the doll crew.

Hello to everyone x

Hello all

gin thinking of you, hoping the birth went smoothly and all is well with you and the ginster. Will keep an eye out for photos on t'other place!

Hope everyone is well as we hurtle towards xmas. Critter it sounds like you are having a lovely time! Love the sea lion analogy (and Ele's chocolate fish). Well done on the cardi! Make the most of knitting time while you have it, I've taken 3 months to knit a baby cardi after mini A's arrival that normally would have been finished inside a week! Sar it all sounds promising. You next! . Buzzy how are you? Hope you're enjoying some R&R now you're on mat leave. Does Barry have some decent time off over xmas?

All well here, trying to get things sorted for the holiday with the usual stresses and strains. We are planning to spend xmas at home and have invited my mum for dinner, but I'm now negotiating with Mr A when we see his family. He wants to visit his parents on xmas day as we sometimes have in previous years but I think that's totally unrealistic - it's an hour round trip, we rarely manage to leave the house before midday and we'd have to visit his sister too as she lives round the corner with her 7 kids. Mini A will end up tired and grumpy from too much noise and attention, I won't get near my own baby and it would be mid afternoon before we got back to start making our own meal. Doesn't sound like a relaxing day to me! Mr A's parents visited us twice after Mini A was born but since then it's reverted to us to going to see them. I don't really want to invite them for xmas day and watch 3 grandparents playing tug of war with the poor baby all day so have opened negotiations at Boxing Day and will see where I get to!

As usual it's taken me all morning to write half a post and now it have to go out. I'm trying to find good things to do with Mini A during the day. It's hit and miss so far. Another round of 'wind the bobbin up' and I might just scream...

Love to all, hope everyone is well

eleth I love the chocolate fish too - hmm, that gives me some ideas! Well done on the cleaning, I know just what you mean about spending ages and then it getting messed up again in the blink of an eye - but as you say, it being clean underneath is the key!

sar all sounds promising. I bet you are SO ready to go now. I hope MrS is looking after you. I must say it sounds extra nice that you're going to have a home birth around Christmas. When the little one arrives you can be all snuggled up in bed afterwards and not in a hospital.

art argh, my cardigan took me months… will I never knit again?! I am a crap knitter so this was a major undertaking for me. On the Christmas Day plans - definitely get them to visit you on Boxing Day. The rules of the game on Christmas visits change when you have a child - I think that's pretty standard. Nobody will mind if you don't want to do an incredibly long car journey AND host your family on the same day with a tiny baby. You are well within your rights to tell them they will be warmly welcomed on Boxing Day. I am pretty sure that's what my parents did with my maternal grandparents when I was a child.

Also gin add me to the list of people who are eagerly awaiting updates on the ginster's arrival…. but enjoy time with your snuggly newborn first. I so hope it all went well honey!

sar does sound pretty good, and a homebirth over xmas would be lovely (twinkly tree lights and all) hope you keep getting signs and baby sar doesn't make you wait too long.

art agree with critter that xmas plans change when babies arrive (although in my case not always for the better..)

Mr E always had xmas with my family then he'd do boxing day with his (I'd do boxing day with mine and I'd go to his folks on the 2nd jan for a big meal (dreaded it!). When my boy arrived, suddenly I was coerced into going to his folks for boxing day and the 2nd january. So, it meant on xmas morning we'd drive 80 minutes to my folks for xmas day, then boxing morning a 80 minute drive home, then 30 minutes to his folks for the early afternoon (DS1 was 2 months old then). It was horrific and I vowed I'd never do boxing day at his folks again (they were atrocious with their first grandson anyway and made my life hell with their unwanted advice and criticism).

Anyway, new plan is this: We have xmas morning in our house, the inlaws visit at 9am for a maximum of 2 hours, then we head off to my folks for xmas day. Boxing day we have at home and on the 27th we visit the inlaws for lunch (a couple of hours). Then I do the 2nd January 'family' meal with them (which I still hate, but we arrive about 2pm and leave at 6pm and it's only once a year, should make it better, but it doesn't really).

We told them that we were not doing visits to both parents on concurrent days as it was way too much driving/hassle.

Find a plan that suits you, if they want to see the grandkids on xmas day they'll drive for 30 minutes - if not, they can wait until boxing day, having a tired/stressed baby in someone else's house is crap (with them commenting on everything you do...)

If it was down to me, I'd never visit them, but I'm mean....

Hello ladies! It's our first night home and as you can see the inevitable earlyish hours post! Sorry this is gonna be all about me!

Ginster arrived on Monday and is just gorgeous. So so loved up. She looks totally different to how I thought she would ( a tiny bit like DH, nothing like me!) and I can't stop staring at her tiny face. Will put up pic and name on FB.

Having her was a bit of an ordeal, though not compared to what some of you have been through!

One hour after her due date, at 1am on Sunday, I had a huge contraction type thing and my waters went spectacularly, all over the house! I was shit scared, as no other real signs of labour, the waters were quite bloody (apparently this is normal - do not panic if your waters are pink anyone who's preggo) and I couldn't feel the baby move. Cos of the gbs we had to go straight to hospital, where they told me I had to be induced to reduce the risk of passing it on, which was news to me!

Anyway, they tried with the pessary first (being a whimp I demanded gas and air for the insertion!), with no real luck. So was then put on the evil drip, but on advice of my friends demanded an epidural first! I had 24 hours since my waters went for labour to progress before an EMCS. As they cranked up the drip, DDs heartbeat started to act oddly, being at times too slow or fast, so they had to keep turning it down. Eventually they used a Stan monitor to keep an eye on her. It was terrifying hearing it slow right down. Luckily I got to 10cm by mon morning ( with repeated epidural top ups and gas and air as I could still feel some bloody contractions - she was OP for most of it) and they decided to go for a vaginal delivery (I had told them earlier just to get her out by a c section but they thought it may be dangerous due to her position). Having pushed for all of 2 mins, the heartbeat went odd again, so drs rushed in and decided on an instrumental delivery. Lots of swearing and pushing from me, pulling with the ventouse and an episiotomy later, ginster was born! She came out crying and covered in vernix, like no one had seen on a 40 week baby! The medical team were amazing and monitored DD so carefully, whilst trying to reassure a totally mental me that there was still a heartbeat. The pain relief was great and they couldn't believe I was reading magazines whilst 7cm dilated and giggling at jokes as I pushed.

We had to stay in hospital until last night, as they wanted to monitor her, plus she's v pukey due to gunge. Breast feeding isn't going well at the mo We've used a few bottles tonight as she just needs to eat and I'll ask the MW for advice tomorrow.

I'm shattered, as have had no sleep since Friday really and my bits really hurt. Anyone have any tips for epiositiomy recovery/pain relief? I was so relieved when I eventually did a poo and my insides didn't fall out!

My mum is coming tomorrow to help, as I'm not as able to do as much due to the stitches and also have hideous fluid filled legs that aren't working properly! DH has been amazing and stayed in hospital with me, despite having to sleep in a chair and do all nappy changes as I couldn't move about too well. Am trying to do the feeds etc all myself tonight so he has a chance to rest - he woke up at one point and asked where we got 'it' (the baby) from and had I googled it!

Anyway exciting times for sar, critter and buzz. Lots of love to everyone else. Will catch up properly soon x

Oh gin. Congratulations!!!! What an entry in to the world. Well done you. So great to hear how loved up you are but sorry for the ouchy fango and legs. Hope you all get some much needed rest and that your mw supports the bf side for you. Wow gin - you are a mummy! Xxx

Congratulations Gin - so glad you've got your baby girl - hope the fluid filled legs go away soon...

Have you been taking pain relief for the stitches? Did the hospital give you anything? I think I got cocodomal first time round. Last time, they gave me an injection into the stitches site that lasted 24 hours (it was great - totally noticed when it wore off!). I had a tear not an episiotomy (and from what I gather episiotomies can be more painful during the healing process, but no first hand knowledge) so no direct knowledge. Do you have ring (doughnut shaped) cushion? That's good for taking the pressure off. Other thing is ice packs in towels for you to sit on as that can help.

Ask your midwife though, they'll be able to give you proper advice on what might help (air can help the stitches heal, but not sure how much you'll have to lie around with your naked bits in the air!)

So pleased for the gin family - enjoy your little girl!

gin congrats, what a journey, looking forward to seeing a photo :)

Aw gin this has made my day! Huge congratulations! I'm
so pleased the little ginster is finally here :) Can't wait to see a picture. Sorry to hear that you are ouchy in the places. I don't really have any advice except cocodamol (sp?) has helped me hugely with pain relief for other ishoos in the past and you can take it with ibrupofen, which is great for reducing inflammation. It sounds horrific but I was advised to take salty baths, to help the healing process, although like Ele I had a small tear / graze with stitches rather than an episiotomy. So this may be bad advice! Ask your mw! I hope you have good postnatal care and sensible advice. I'm glad mrgin is getting involved - invaluable. Take help from anyone and everyone so that you can heal and recover. I bet you're glad to be home, with a little baby just in time for Xmas: really magical and just made me shed a little tear. Oh I'm so happy for you all :) xxxx Congrats again xxxx

Waves to all. Xmas panic has set in here. Mr P has done sweet fa and is now panicking so I'm trying to help out....it's the same every year, even with 2 months of nagging. Grrr...

I'm actually looking forward to going to my inlaws, they both look after me well they did last time we were there, they are who they are and I wouldn't want to make things difficult for Barry as they are his parents, we will at some stage change the xmas routine but as far as I'm concerned they'll have to suck it up if they don't like it, LC taught me how to manage my inlaws well, MIL still has bits of advice, I just smile and ignore, we've had words but she gets over things pretty quickly :)

critter enjoy xmas with your family, it sounds lovely, is it snowing over your way??

princess I think men are programmed to be forgetful about Xmas :)

Well I had my 34 week scan, she has long legs, no kidding and weighs about 5 pounds, feels more like 5 kilos, my placenta is still low so most likely have a c section, suits me, I'm over being preggo and just want my baby, think I might have SPD, sadly I can't see a physio on the NHS until after my due date so have stolen some crutches from work :)

buzz hope you're alright. How cute that minibee has long legs - five pounds is big! Will they schedule you for a c section on your due date? I think your due date is really close to mine, like sar and gin. Funny how we often have cluster diffs then nothing for ages. It isn't snowing here, I wish it was - it's actually been really weirdly sunny and warm today!

gin Yay! I am sorry that the birth was so stressful and worrying. I bet you were beside yourself when her heartbeat was going up and down, that sounds absolutely terrifying. And the episiotomy sounds very ouchy indeed - I am so pleased you had good pain relief at the time, although I bet it's not nice now. Can you get MrG to get you some witchhazel and some giant sanitary towels, freeze them and make you a 'padsicle'? That's what they recommend here for sore bits. They also give you a shallow sitz bath to take home (like a plastic bidet that fits on the loo seat) and recommend you sit in warm shallow baths with tea tree oil. I can't wait to see a pic and hear what you've called her. How absolutely lovely, what a wonderful Christmas present.

sar happy due date! Hope your little one arrives soon and that you can enjoy him or her on Christmas day. I love all these festive babies! Hope you aren't too uncomfortable. You are so close to having your little one in your arms.

princess MrC never does anything either. He panics and I order stuff for his family the week before.

Love to eleth, lemon, teu, and mellow.

All well here. Starting to feel quite heavy and tired, at just over 35 weeks. And my ankles are so swollen! And my hands too - getting weirdly numb, especially in the morning. I feel like the Nutty Professor. Still, can't complain, I have had such an easy pregnancy in general and am so grateful.

critter supposedly she is average weight I am trying to find a private obstetric physio as at this time at night I can barely walk, I think they will c section before due date 27/01 due to the placenta being so close to the cervix, I am under the impression that it would be dangerous for me to go into labour as the placenta could rupture then I'd be looking at an EMCS, not 100% sure on that, I don't see the consultant until 07/01

we've had a few storms my way, snow would be lovely :)

Interesting that 5 pounds is normal buzz, I am due on the 22nd Jan so five days before you - I guess my baby must be the about same size then... it just sounds big! I am so sorry you're feeling so rough and that it's so painful. It's not fair that you can't enjoy your pregnancy given what you went through to get here. What a worry for you.

I am worried about the walking, I can't be on bed rest that will drive me mad, I still have lots to do, its like someone stabbing you in the chuff I thought 5 pounds was big for this stage, you looked so tiny in your pic on FB, I feel like I am having a baby elephant

Wow - buzzy, if you're getting a section that's like only about 3 weeks until you have a baby - how close is that? Probably doesn't seem that close when you can't walk far etc (I had some groin strain through my pregnancy but nothing as bad as SPD - you have my sympathies).

critter and you're so close too? All these xmas and new year babies, it's so exciting. Loved your 'padsicle' idea - sounds very soothing. I was quite lucky with my stitches as the pain faded after a couple of days. Sitz baths are great for piles too (another joy... :-D

I didn't really get swollen hands/ankles this time, but I did first time round and none of my shoes fitted me at all, ended up having to wear mens shoes a size bigger (to acommodate the swelling) not very stylish...

Because of this I took my rings off in the first trimester this time as I was scared of getting them cut off (wasn't wearing any rings last time - harlot that I am :-) but didn't have any swelling at all (typical).

Hamish had his first visit to the dentists yesterday, she confirmed that one tooth has broken through (not done much more than that, still just peeking through the surface) but said his front teeth are very close to coming through and not to be surprised if they all poke through over xmas (baby teething over the festive season - not what I was planning for!) Hopefully he's just teasing and they'll hang in there for a while yet.

He's at a very cuddly stage just now, when you pick him up he curls his arms round your neck and snuggles in, and he's so chunky - its fabulous, makes you never want to let him go!

Waves to everyone, hope you're all looking forward to xmas (and all those baby snuggles (that you have or will have soon :-D

buzz the chuff stabbing does not sound fun. One of my friends was on bed rest for two months. Nightmare. On the plus side she got a lot of knitting and reading done. I think size is all relative. Also in my FB pic I am wearing 'slimming' black

eleth Hamish sounds absolutely gorgeous and snuggly and squeezable. I hope he gives you an easy ride over Christmas and his teeth do the decent thing and wait until January to make an appearance!

Piles, ah yes. I can't feel any and nothing hurts there, but I do get blood when I poo sometimes, especially if I haven't been for a while. Lovely.

ele I'm hoping for a bit of notice before the section, they might scan me again before just to see if it has moved, I haven't been officially diagnosed but at the end of the day I wobble round like I am being tasered.

critter i get bored easily, my first week of mat leave has been a bit I've had swollen feet and legs, also very hairy I look like i'm having a litter in my photo, a colleague of mine and his wife just had IVF, they had 2 put back and now are expecting triplets

ele I am ready for baby snuggles

Bloody hell buzzy - triplets! Good heavens. You most certainly do not look like you're having a litter. Just one very cute little girl. I hope you can get some rest an keep your feet up on the mat leave. I am hairy too. I have given up in that department. Can't see what's going on in my undercarriage anyway thank goodness but it's definitely 70s chic. Out of sight out of mind.

I don't think I shaved (or waxed or removed hair) from anything other than my armpits during pregnancy. Felt too sick to bend down for the first 6 months, by which point I couldn't see over my belly :-)

And to be honest I've been pretty remiss since then (especially in the lady garden area) given that it didn't get any action until 5 months after the birth, I wasn't that fussed

Triplets - very scary! We were terrified we were going to have twins (no reason other than age and sods law!) and were so relieved at the 12 week scan to see just one baby in there. Mind you, our next door neighbour is one of a twin and he said his mum was told she was just having one (apparently one one of them was hiding behind the other) so she got a fright when they arrived (would have been about 50 odd years ago, so I'm sure this couldn't happen today.... maybe...)

Although if triplets were all you knew, it would seem the norm and you'd just cope (and how great to get your family all in one go?) and they'd play together well too, so that'd be fab. I'm not sure how you'd ever get any sleep in the first 3 months though...