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January 2012 - Thread 3

989 replies

ParsleyLion1 · 01/08/2011 19:14

And we're back......

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
redheadbedhead · 03/08/2011 16:50

thanks guys. just been sick for the first time since friday as well. this day is NOT going well. Sad

hi makescakes! my hospital has been treating the midwives poorly and all the good ones have left. my team is decimated and overworked. I've just been told to call any of them if i need to. is a shame cos my old midwife was lovely Sad

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 03/08/2011 16:56

Yikes - where do you live? is there a different hospital you could attend? I'm very spoilt where I live in regards to maternity services, but that's one of the reasons we decided to start a family after we'd moved here. Where we were before was awful

Mum2be79 · 03/08/2011 18:10

I've been absent almost 3 days and 5 pages later (thread 2 and 3) and a new thread ... what have you all been up to????

I'm having a lovely time in Newcastle spending time with my parents. We've bought a lot of baby things:

  1. Bedding set from mothercare £51.00 (jungle family - only 2 remaining)
  2. Long sleeve bodysuits from mothercare again (£7 for seven AND B1GOF!!!)
  3. Wall art from Next £20
  4. Pack of 3 Giraffe and friends sleep suits from Next
  5. Baby scan photo frame
  6. Baby on Board 'Me to You' from Clinton Cards
  7. 2 bras from Debenhams (£65!!!!!)
  8. 2 sleeping bags from TKMaxx (£8.99 and £12.99)
  9. Pramsuit from TKMaxx (£12.99)
10. Elephant sensory toy from TKMaxx (£20) 11. Moses basket and stand from Argos (£50) 12. DH bidding on BT Monitor 250 for £40 13. DH bidding on brand new cot from M&S £59

No fireworks yet as mum's friend will not be showing herself until tomorrow. Although I did have a big argument with mum regarding breastfeeding.

She said her personal opinion was not to BF after 3 months. The only reason she could give was because they are 'not a tiny baby anymore' and 'changes begin to happen from that age onwards' and that she's 'worried' in case mum/baby struggles to detach from the breast?!?. Of course, I took offence to that as 'planning' on BF until 6 months. She did reiterate that it was only her personal opinion and she would NEVER think badly of me for wanting to BF beyond 3 months and she began to get cross and tell me that I think everyone is having a pop at me if I'm told a differing opinion. Of course, she has a point (Feeling VERY protective over my opinions and decisions) BUT I was then made to feel as if I didn't have my mum's approval to BF after 3 months!?!

Obviously not as serious as some of your problems with said mothers (Belini for one - am gobsmacked!) but we've agreed NEVER to discuss feeding again.
I don't have a problem with bottle feeding mums at all but I am aware of the benefits of BF and I want to ensure my DC has every possible opportunity to have a healthy immune system.

I'm beginning to feel flutters, the odd light kick and 'rolls' in my tummy on a regular basis - more-so when I'm lying flat. Am 18 weeks and 3 days today.

I know this discussion has come up on mumsnet before, but I was sure airlines don't need a doctor's note for flying when 20-24 weeks (I'll be 20 weeks out, 22 weeks in) when I go away. My aunt had problems 5 years ago when she flew to tenerife (airline not known). She was fine going out but not on her return, despite it being the same airline and being LESS weeks than I will be.

Can anyone shed any light on this - espeically with jet2.com who I will be flying with? I am planning on taking my notes with me so if they have any queries they can look (which state no issues - text book pregnancy!)

addictediam · 03/08/2011 18:55

I would make an app with your gp, and get a note just incase, you can stick it in with your notes and no one needs to see it. You shouldn't have any problems but it wouldn't hurt to be prepared.

ParsleyLion1 · 03/08/2011 20:17

Ghost yes I think Blandford Fly was what caused my issue. I was living near the New Forest at the time and they are quite prolific around there. Nasty things - hope the antibiotics kick in fast.

falabalamb My MW told me at my booking in that they don't monitor mum's weight anymore and that that appt was the one and only time I would be weighed. That said they weighed me at the nuchal scan as I think it is part of the calculation. It seems a bit inconsistent with everybody else's experiences so I'll see what happens at the 16wk appt.

red that's rubbish - I hope they get their act together for you

mum2be sounds like you've had a fab time shopping :) re flying it usually says in the terms and conditions on the airline website. The only one I have checked so far (LuxAir as needed it for work) says you have to tell them but that you can self certify up to 28 weeks, a drs cert from 28-32 and no flying unless and emergecy and you travel with a dr(!) at 32+. I think they all vary though.

OP posts:
Mum2be79 · 03/08/2011 20:25

Checked! I will be fine. I will be printing out their terms and conditions and taking it with me! It states:

"There are no special restrictions on pregnant women travelling up to and including the 27th week of pregnancy. Between the 28th and 34th week of pregnancy travel will only be permitted with a doctor's certificate confirming the stage of pregnancy and fitness to fly. Expectant mothers of 34 weeks or more on the return flight will not be permitted to fly under any circumstances. This means that both the outbound and return parts of the journey must be completed before the end of the 33rd week, not into the 34th week."

Thanks x

ChocaMum · 03/08/2011 21:52

Welcome makescakes, nice to see more newbies after me! I love your name, please post some my way if you are feeling very stressed and happen to have made too many cakes!

Thanks falabalamb and bun, that sounds pretty much like what I was expecting. Last time itt's when it all started rolling into one continuous pain towards the end that I felt a bit scared and started using G&A, but then I went really loopy on that. Last time the hospital I was meant to be giving birth in was full and had asked us to call back at 9am! Luckily I insisted to DH I can't wait till then, and DD was born at 7.30 am so good thing too! Anyway the place we were diverted too in the snow and dark with DH having no idea where he was driving too (and me contracting every 2 minutes so not being able to help with directions) only had one room left and obviously no birthing pool free. I was just glad it wasn't in the car though :)

But since then we have a birthing centre that's opened in our local hospital so I'm hoping to use a pool there. I might book in for a home birth too so if they are full on the day I can use a pool at home, not sure if I can be booked in at both though so will have to check at next appointment.

ghost I'm glad you got your foot sorted that sounds horrible. But the restaurant sounds fab. And glad your DH enjoyed his birhtday present.

redhead what a nightmare, hope something gets sorted ASAP for you.

mum2be what a great shopping spree! Also ignore your mum, once you've got last the 1st 3 months I think it's silly to switch to bottles, it's so much less hassle BF if it works for you. No sterilising, instant milk, and it works like magic to stop a screaming baby wherever you are. It was very handy for our local cinema which allows under one screenings for mums, DD always use to fall sleep bf if I let her. Also beware of mother care bedding, their fitted sheets are normally to small for even their own mattresses, no idea why. Sleeping bags however are a life saver, the amount that babies wriggle that I dont know how you can keep sheets on them. And then they wake up because there are no sheets on them, so really good idea IMO.

giraffe definitely agree it's too hot for a bump. After walking from my MW appointment yesterday to nursery to pick up DD I felt so faint. Obviously doesn't help I'm still puking all day and not managing to drink enough. Have no idea why I look so huge, I look very pregnant, not just 17 weeks. Oh well, I guess bump must be happy at least!

Oeisha · 03/08/2011 22:31

Welcome Cakes
ghost (((healing vibes))) to your foot...
redhead I'd be writing a ranting, hormonal email/letter to my LHA and my local MP if I were you. Bloody disgraceful treatment...

Re: BMI after a particularly bad bout of food poisoning (lost 2.5 stone in 9 days) I got down to 5 1/2 stone, ok, maybe I'd put a little back on, but was told about 5 weeks later that I had a really high BMI (a week later my GPO 'at home' nearly sent me to hospital as I was so underweight)...obviously bollocks...doesn't seem to take into account breast tissue either...(seriously, I was a skeleton with G cups).

I'm now pre-pg overweight at 11stone (ideal weight is about 9) but they're not worried about my BMI...so, when chronically underweight I'm so bad I might die...whilst overweight, I'm not...as I said before...bollocks...might be a good indicator, but should not be taken as a 'result' itself.

I also haven't really gained weight, just plenty of front. Net loss of 2lb... I look like my SIL at 20wks :S It's the excess flab sitting on top of Yolkis that does it...

Re: breastfeeding. Don't listen to 'mothers', generally they're all repressed and weird. Breastfeeding is recommended by WHO until 24months...ok, maybe a bit extreem, and the guidelines are meant to take into account 3rd world countries, but seriously world GET OVER IT! Breast feeding is NORMAL...don't stop until you're ready to. Some babies just feed for longer (friend of mine: DC1 til 9mths and DC2 til 14mths...) IF anyone (especially shops etc.) EVER complains about you breastfeeding in public, write to your local paper and out them fast, shame the bugger as much as possible. Most companies are pro-breast. All local authorities are...and have policy statements on the issue.

It's def too hot. Was glad to be in temp. controlled work today. Too friggin hot to sleep. Will be taking iced drink to bed...and ice possibly in bed...is there an opposite to a hot water bottle?!

I thought I'd gotten over actual puking as I managed 3 whole days without serious incident (just the usual in throat oops)...no, puked EVERYTHING back up lastnight...ah well, at least it didn't come out my nose this time...!

fishandlilacs · 03/08/2011 22:39

Welcome newbies. Sorry to hear of your gippy foot Ghost. Sounds nasty.

Doing fine here, off to seaside tomorrow.

ELCS here this time, i'm not fecking about, last time was just bloody awful and it would be too dangerous for me to do anything else so no water birth here either. I'm finding some peace with this as it's been hard for me to accept I will never have a natural birth experience. But hey as long as me and baby are safe and well and here thats all that matters. I have grieved for my lovely water birth i was supposed to have the first time round and I hope i have put it to rest. There will be no more children after here from me so it's never gonna happen. I really hope it does for you who want it.

ChocaMum · 03/08/2011 23:19

fishandlilacs from the mums I know an ELCS was so so much better than an emergency section, everything from how they felt, pain, recovery etc etc. If I had had a difficult 1st birth then from seeing how my friends were I'd definitely go for ELCS. I guess it's nice us all saying what we'd like, but we never know what the babies plans are! Anyway enjoy the seaside more importantly!

oeisha I completely agree about bf, just stop when you're ready. I only actually stopped with DD 3 months ago when she was 14 mo and that's because I felt so completely drained from being pg and bf. But it was just a morning and evening comfort feed at the end and I really enjoyed it. I hope she doesn't get jealous with dc2 bf.

Wormshuffler · 04/08/2011 07:49

I am another ELCS gal here fishandlilacs after having tried naturally twice, my bod just isn't up to it, but I am not letting it get me down either.............after all, I can't do anything about it so may as well get on with it.
I do wish I hadn't found all the threads about how diabolical post-natal care is through. Although this is my 3rd DC it is 10 years since my last birth and things appear to have gone down hill rapidly.

The biggest difference I can see with Anti-natal is how pro-breastfeeding the message is. I didn't breastfeed my DC's after chucking my dummy out of my pram when DD ended in a EMCS, however nobody even asked how I was feeding a bottle just turned up one day! it wasn't mentioned once anti-natally.
This time I am intending to breastfeed, but will only succeed with coaching and if that isn't forthcoming I will be most vocal and basically a pain in the arse for the midwives.

Mum2be79 · 04/08/2011 11:01

Thank you regarding the BF advice.

As for Mothercare - luckily the sheets are flat (plain sheets) not fitted. Also Asda do a pack of 2 sheets for £8 that mum is getting for me as she's got a discount card so 10% off.

'Friend' arriving in about an hour!!! Eeek!

Fryn · 04/08/2011 11:56

Mum2be - good luck with the friend! She sounds dreadful, but excellent fodder for the rest of us! Don't let her upset you.

Worm - gosh, I bet the BFing isn't the only thing to change! I imagine the food cans and can'ts has changed a bit too. It's different enough from 2 years ago (hurrah for peanut butter!)

I'm just pondering what we'll need to get for DC2 - I keep thinking that as we have a fair bit of stuff from DD (Moses, crib, car seat etc) that we don't need anything, but I suspect I'm kidding myself! The whole double buggy issue keeps rearing its head - our car boot can only just fit the Maclaren in, so anything bigger and I'll have to tie it to the roof.

Thank God it's cooled off - although people have actually been giving me a seat on the tube, so that's been a real bonus (admittedly I may have been huffing and puffing, and fanning myself rather excessively while sticking the bump out).

Re. breastfeeding - make sure you have a list of local BF support groups and don't rely on the staff in the ante natal ward. DD wouldn't latch so they kept me in 2 days (in retrospect I should have discharged myself earlier as the hospital staff were the problem!), and they literally tried to shove her on, squeezing my boob into her mouth until she and I were both so upset that it was never going to work. And then they took her off and gave her formula even though I didn't want them to. Anyway, to spite them I managed to keep BFing for 8 months and the formula did no harm - just meant everyone on the ward got some sleep that night! I couldn't have done it without the local sure start BF support group though - not sure if they can afford to run them any more, sadly.

Nanny01 · 04/08/2011 12:23

Finaly some good news to report mother inlaw got the dvd of the scan and was ok about it. So maybe doing it without direct contact worked better. She came round with 2 double swings and a single for our swing set. All is harmonious and the weather has broken so we are all happier and cooler. Can't wait to take the kids to see cars this afternoon.

As for breastfeeding it is a learnt skill if you haven't done it before then ask for help and keep asking for help till you get what you need. I intend to breastfeed unless this baby has severe reflux as ds2 had that and we both had miserable time with constant feedings. I now know there are special formulas for lactose intolerance and reflux so won't hang around if it happens next time. Defiantly found that bf got easier with each child, just a shame I didn't get any help with ds1 but he had reflux to.

BunMyOven · 04/08/2011 12:46

Rain! Glorious cooling rain! Grin I can't stand the heat at the best of times, let alone pregnant, so was very happy to wake up at 2am to the sound of a heavy downpour!

Am nervously positive about breastfeeding this time round. DS and I just didn't get the hang of it at all - never got the latch right, didn't know it was wrong and therefore the cause of tear inducing pain and had zero advice or information from anyone Sad I managed BF for 1 or 2 months then couldn't take any more and expressed until around 4months when everything just fell apart and turned to formula. I've never felt so depressed about anything as I did at failing BFing, though now I look back wondering how the hell I managed as long as I did with no help!!
Since then though, I've taught myself loads about it - what problems to expect etc, looked into local breastfeeding support groups and have also discovered the wonder that is MN so feeling a lot more prepared for it Grin

It's so disapointing that there isn't the information out there for parents about BF unless they actively go looking for it though.

ChocaMum · 04/08/2011 12:56

mum2be keep us posted, I'm hoping your mum will put her friend in place finally, take cover if there are fireworks. Bumps can see light now apparently too!!!

worm I had a very similar experience to fryn on the postnatal ward where they were just brutal with the 'help' and kept me in for 2 awful nights. Don't rely on them at all, there are lots of lovely breastfeeding support groups. I found our surestart centre had a weekly drop in breastfeeding cafe, and they were just fab! Made most of my mummy friends through that too. The postnatal ward also gave my DD formula milk without even asking me. And unfortunately we have recently been told after many A&E and hospital visits and so many tests that the formula milk at the beginning probably triggered a lot of DD's allergies and weight problems.

fryn I'm in the same position, keep thinking do I need anything new or can we get by with what we have? DD will be 23 mo when DC2 is born. I've been given a buggy board and I also have bought a wrap sling which I can still use for DD as it's so easy and comfortable. I've been recommended by friends out money aside for a double buggy but wait till baby is born because only then will you see if you really need it. Also it is bound to be very cold in january so the car will probably used for the first couple of months. So there should be minimal walking involved which should be ok with buggy/sling or buggy/buggy board combo.
We have a huge boot, but even then whenever we used to go away for a weekend with DD when she was very small we'd completely pack out the whole boot and back seats, so we may end up getting a roof rack too!

mum2be sorry one more thing, I'd recommend sainsburys baby stuff over asda. I bought quite a lot from asda before DD was born and it just doesn't last the frequency washing you have to do with babies. Sainsburys however has been amazing.

ChocaMum · 04/08/2011 13:03

nanny that's great about your MIL, it really helps to have supportive family.
bun I was lucky in that our nhs antenatal classes told us about local bf support and encouraged us to go in late pregnancy so we were familiar with the set up etc. Do ask your MW at appointments as they normally know all the local support groups, they just don't often say until you ask.
Also other people's postnatal wards might be much more helpful that mine was, so you never know!

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 04/08/2011 13:18

choc I do tend to overbake rather when I'm having a bad time of it - it's usually DH's work and flying buddies who benefit, but perhaps soon I'll have some local mummy friends to treat :-)

Am very cross today because Autoglass turned up an hour early to replace my windscreen, so I had to cancel going for coffee with the mums from the bumps and babies group - then it turned out he'd brought the wrong frigging screen.

Then, when I finally got inside, desperate to wash my hands and have a glass of water, I find out the builders doing the landlord's kitchen extension have turned off the water and buggered off for lunch Finally, an hour later, one of them turned up and eventually managed to put it back on again, but I was seriously umamused. He was so gormless, too. Apparently he didn;t even realise that our water was going to be affected. Doh.

How's the foot Ghost?

Fryn · 04/08/2011 14:15

choca - it's such a shame that they take the formula route as the easy option. I cried and cried when they took her away. All I wanted was someone to help, not to make me feel like a failure. Thank heavens for Surestart - I do hope they still have the funding to run those groups.
As for the stuff - I'm thinking of a sling too. We had a Bjorn for DD, which was great, but pretty much 4th hand by the point, so it's a little past its prime. May well get investigating those. DD will be 2 yrs 8 months by the time this one arrives, so in theory she should be happy with a buggy board/walking, but she redefines the word "lazy", so I'm not hopeful!

nanny - such good news about your MIL. I hope the support continues.

cakes - gah! that is very annoying on ALL counts. I suggest you get baking to cheer yourself up, and send a slice to me!

knittiekitty · 04/08/2011 15:23

I'd have been mad too cakes - you win the annoying day so far stakes. Glad to find a fellow stress baker too although it may account for some of my 10lb weight gain so far. My bmi was ok to start with (through killing myself at WW a couple of years ago) so I'm not stressing and will eventually 'point' it off next year. I just finished icing a Delia honey and spice cake which smells divine. I'm going to try and resist it until dh gets home, well at least until the icing sets! I keep pretending that my efforts are to save money for packed lunches but don't think he's fooled. I haven't been weighed since the nuchal bloods btw.

Thanks for the french knickers idea! I have to go to Marks later to take back some linen trousers I ordered. I'm usually a size 12 at most but the stretchy waist isn't adjustable and whilst they looked smart they'd only be good for standing in queues. They were in the sale, so to order the 14 means yet more postage. I'm getting irritated at finding so much maternity wear is only online.

Sorry you're still feeling rough Oeisha, and I haven't experienced whooshing before, sounds horrid. Bizarrely I didn't get any residue from the pessary this time (have used one once before) and presume it dissolved. FX we don't have any more!

Having previously got frantic about failure to bf with dd I've decided to be utterly relaxed this time. Same goes for the birth, as my dh might have to stay home with dd, I may have to go it alone. I think I'd be ok with that and it nearly happened to my mum as her labours were so fast. So, I'm going to prepare for bit lonely scenario, try and relax and hopefully be able to smugly 'present' cute bub to the world like a 1950s mother. I should start looking into knitted bed jackets just in case. I'm actually mostly worried about my teeth, as during the only bad contraction I felt before my 'now or never' epi (I dilated real fast too) I couldn't stop clenching my jaw really really hard. How did you other mums stop that?

addictediam · 04/08/2011 15:32

sainsburys is great for clothes too dd's whole wardrobe comes from sainsburys! its amazing quility exactly like next stuff only half (and sometimes even quater) of the price.

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 04/08/2011 16:00

knittykitty do it old school and go for the leather strap?! I'm going the hypnobirth route in the hopes of no pain and this is my first so have no useful advice.

Is anyone having cravings? I'm not really, but my tastes have changed and I seem to be going for foods that make my mouth pucker - like sour lemony things or salt and vinegar crisps (a flavour i would never previously have considered)

Fryn · 04/08/2011 16:35

Salt and vinegar hula hoops - nothing else will do!

redheadbedhead · 04/08/2011 16:43

mmmmmm salt and vinegar hula hoops mmmmmmm

i just finished making an apple crumble with all the apples that have fallen into our garden from next doors tree :D seems like today is baking day yay!!

This, plus the fact I actually ate some fish pie today, is a bit of a miracle, as the thought of either things a week ago would have made me retch.

and thanks for all your support ladies re midwife scenario, I am sure it'll all settle down by the time I actually produce a CHILD - they've got 6 months to hire more midwives....surely it will be ok....

thank god I hired a doula, that's all I can say. just wish I had £3000 kicking around so I could have hired a bloody midwife instead!

MakesCakesWhenStressed · 04/08/2011 16:52

God yes, even weirder than going off eating food was, for me, going off making it, but I couldn't even help myself out of a saucepan to a sauce my mum had made without retching, even though I was mostly OK eating it. I hope this is a turning point for you.

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